Boy Talk With Maile

I snuck a camera with me into Maile's room while she rambled on for 15 minutes about school...I spared you 13 of those super cute minutes and will share only the 1 minute and 47 seconds that involve Maile's crush.

Dang she's adorable! Just her face as she tries to contain her laughter and then busts out....love it!



A sneak peak into the video for those of you who aren't the "video watching" kind:

Maile is candid about how she doesn't follow Jacob anymore because apparently he doesn't like it.



Maile liked the idea of buying her teacher a new umbrella after hers was lost in the recycling bin at school...and actually that portion of the video is in the 13.53 minutes not shown. I just liked the pleased look on her face.



Maile doesn't like that a boy calls her Miley Cyrus...she cracks up when I suggest she call him Mr. Noodle...I LOVE this picture. So textbook Maile to me. Dying laughing, but at the expense of someone else. She's the friend that falls over laughing when your ankle gives out in the hallway...oh she'll help you up...but she'll be cackling the entire time.

You can just SEE her picturing someone calling that kid Mr. Noodle...love. it.

i Twitter: And That's Because I'm Perfect

I got sucked into twitter months ago. It's quite fun actually. They call it "mini blogging". Blogging for the ADD. A lot of people don't like it because it's just a little too much inside information. No one wants to know that you're stuck in traffic and have to pee...that kind of thing.

So since I like to tweet...and they're considered "mini posts"...I figure I can just bundle up a bunch of my tweets and make one normal sized post. Two birds with one stone ya dig:

Neilochka: I hate to read recaps where someone blames "the other" without looking at their own role in it.

@Neilochka You must be reading my blog...I always blame "the other"...usually because it's never my fault...and that's because I'm perfect.

My son is wonderful.I do not want to harm him in any way. I do not hi 5 karma when he throws himself to the floor angrily and bumps his head.

I placed an ad on craigslist for a daycare assistant...this girl just sent me a resume written in Spanish. ??? huh ???

I found this other wannabe asst. myspace page..her recent blog entries titled: Sad Day, I Hate My Life, So Wrong, & Home Bitter Sweet Home.

Sounds happy, no?

It gets better...her 'general interests' are: KEVIN, writing poetry, death, blood, and wolves. Very normal...very very normal.

(For the record those tweets were awhile ago and I've hired a very lovely assistant. She used to bring her kids to me for daycare and I begged her to quit her job and come work for me...no wolf girls for me thank you! Had my share of those.)

I asked Maile to tell me what color my eyes were and she said "ummmm...gold ribbon" and I was all "awwww...that's cute and sweet.

Until I realized she was referencing our recent ice cream trip to 31 flavors, and the Gold Medal Ribbon scoops we all got.

They're hazel by the way.

Kainoa learned a new word and he wants everyone to "BOP!" just "BOP IT!!!"

Hi. I'm a former English teacher & I CONSTANTLY break the then/than rule.My Mom just called me out. Egukate urselves.

@jtimberlake If you get back together with Britney I'll get MTV to start playing videos again...

@jtimberlake I don't know who I'll have to sleep with to make that happen, but I will make it happen. Do your part.

Justin Timberlake is not replying to my tweets..I'm officially offended. Why do I have to take my clothes off to get attn around here!?!

Turns out Ellen is not the only celebrity ignoring me these days. :)

Maile's Love Letter

There has been marriage talk.

This is getting serious.

Writer's Workshop: Man That Sucked *edited to add*

4.) Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.

You know that feeling when you say or do something that you just wish you could rewind and take back? And then you think about it years later and physically just want to shake your head hard and try to think of something else? I wouldn't say I have moments like that often...but I've definitely had my share.

I played club volleyball throughout high school and went on to play college ball with a majority of my club teammates. We spent hours and hours of our time together. I was in the best physical shape of my life...3 mile runs were our daily warm ups before practice started. I ran a mile in less than seven minutes. I could jump, I could dive, I could hit, I could block. Our team was undefeated...ranked 14th in the nation at one point...and then we cracked.





Totally fell apart.

We had been predicted to win championships and we lost out on the first day of the tournament. I don't know what happened that day...it still doesn't sit well with me. But I know what happened to me. My mind was elsewhere. My step dad was terminally ill and though I couldn't see it then, looking back I realize what a distraction that was for me.I left school at the end of that year and enrolled myself in a four year university my junior year. I missed playing and I was confident I could play volleyball again. I was determined to end on a better note. I knew I could play at the level of this university. I knew I could be better than some of the returning players.

I went to the coach and nervously asked for a chance. He invited me to tryout and practice with his team for a couple of months. There were about eight of us new girls trying out. And the practices were ridiculous. I was in horrible shape...gasping for air as we completed vigorous cardio workouts. The returning team members were not extremely friendly. They had played together and known each other and I was competing for a spot to replace one of them.

My sarcastic jokes fell on deaf ears. They didn't think I was funny. So I didn't really talk at all. One by one the girls trying out with me started quitting. There were two of us left and the coach joked to everybody about how we were all dropping like flies. We couldn't hang.

I knew I was not doing well. But I felt like if he would just keep me on and give me a chance I could prove myself. It would take more time to get in shape again, but I could do it. I could be a leader. I'm not the type of person to involve myself in activities I might fail in. If I'm going to commit myself to something than dang it, I'm going to succeed.

He posted the cuts on his door and I absolutely did not want to find the results. If my name was not on the door than I was not on the team. The last thing I wanted was for him to catch me scanning that sheet and then call me in to his office to talk. *cringe* *shudder*

So I made my best friend do it for me. I instructed her exactly where to go and what to look for...when she returned she confirmed my fears. My name was not on the door. I had failed. I had committed and failed. I wanted to be the best, I believed I
could be the best...but I was the worst.

I was that girl.

Man that sucked.

*edited to add*

My sister...who happens to be the families all star athlete...who played on an all star soccer team with a full scholarship at the rival university I attended...who was one of those all star returners with a secure spot every year...just read this post and emailed me this:

"You were THAT girl in college?? I forgot you had tried out. And now having played and remembering those girls from come and try out, it's dawning on me that THAT was you... and yes we were not warm and welcoming, and no their jokes weren't funny. i think in all my 5 years we picked up one girl, so don't feel too bad."

Seeeee....so it wasn't just ME that got cut....we were ALL bad.

Now it's your turn!

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back and sign Mr. Linky. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Describe something you're proud of.

2.) Tell me your most humorous wedding experience

3.) 10 reasons why you can't sleep at night

4.) Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.

5.) Write a love letter to the object of your affection.

Dear Ellen (letter 11)

The last letter I wrote you was all about the surprise you had planned for me to be on your show on Monday September 8th. My people sometimes lose connections with important phone calls and sometimes cause me to miss events and what not...I'm certain that is what happened.

I try bribing my people to keep better track of my engagements by offering them popcorn and sweet treats, and they try, but these things happen. I also think sometimes callers are thrown off when four and five year old's make my appointments and maybe end the call prematurely. I'm still open to scheduling another date, let's try again.

For Halloween this year I dressed up as Wonder Woman. And by "for Halloween" I mean it was actually September, but I bought the costume in the "Halloween Section" at Target and that's kind of the same.

Anyways, it was wonder-full if you ask me! I pranced around the city of Seattle all day long and charmed the pants off drunk homeless men on every street corner. What's more flattering than that!?! The experience was amazing and the entire time I kept thinking..."this must be what Ellen feels like EVERY. single. day!!"

People begging for pictures, shoving their children at you for a quick shot, strange men asking you to hold their dogs, and fish mongers chanting "WONDER WOMAN!" as they toss fish at you at the market.



That's what you're like to me Ellen. Like Wonder Woman. Minus the magical cuffs.



You know what I "wonder" Ellen? I wonder why you don't like me. And don't act like you DO, or like you're not aware I've been writing you letters for over a year now...your email screener HAS to have given you the memo by now.

Email Screener: Hey Ellen there's a mommy blogger writing you letters...wanna have her on the show??

Ellen: A what!?! A mommy WHAT!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahaha. Ummm..no.

Why Ellen?

Why?

I wonder if I've been too pushy. I wonder why you can't see that I'm not just another pretty face. That there is talent hidden deep beyond these sparkling hazel eyes and this talent will not be ignored. That's not a threat Ellen. I am not going to extort you...unless you think that would make for a great show?? Perhaps? No?? I'm just saying I think your doing yourself a disservice by not recognizing the pull of the blogging mother. I'm just trying to help you.

Sigh.

I try not to dream too big Ellen...I'm just a mom...sure I drink some, but I'm still a good mom. I realize my days for big dreaming are over. Let's face it, I run a daycare, I drive a mini van, I foster dogs, I cook fantastic chili, and I dream simple dreams...but this dream I will not let die Ellen. This dream....these letters...this hope...it's all. I. have.

Still....holding....on. Have your people call my people Ellen.

Mama Kat

Dear Ellen Letter #1
Dear Ellen Letter #2
Dear Ellen Letter #3
Dear Ellen Letter #4
Dear Ellen Letter #5
Dear Ellen Letter #6
Dear Ellen Letter #7
Dear Ellen Letter #8
Dear Ellen Letter #9
Dear Ellen Letter #10

Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept

Directions:
For you newbies it's never to late to jump in!! Here is what you must do. Choose a prompt that inspires you most. Write. Come back this Thursday and paste the URL to your actual post (do this by clicking the title of your post after you hit publish, an extended URL will come up in the address bar. That's the URL you want to use) into the Mister Linky that will be up...this way anyone can click on your name and head over to your place to see what you wrote.

Feel free to write on more than one prompt if you so desire. I do it all the time, but it's my game...and I don't know how to shut-up...so it should be expected. And remember the more comment love you give, the more comment love you get so comment comment away.

The Prompts:

1.) Describe something you're proud of.
(inspired via Twitter by Summer from Le Musings Of Moi)

2.) Tell me your most humorous wedding experience
(inspired by Bree from Breezy Butterfly Creations)

3.) 10 reasons why you can't sleep at night
(inspired by Roxane from It Really Is All About Me)

4.) Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.

5.) Write a love letter to the object of your affection.

Which one will YOU choose??

...pop over and say hi to the inspiration behind the prompt you're going to choose! I love using your posts as inspiration...without them we'd just be blogging about our top ten complaints each week. I'm really good at that.

Don't Be Surprised When Maile's Crying In A Month Because Her Mouse Is Dead

I know I've been writing about Maile a lot lately and I just want you to know it's not because she's my favorite.

It's just that she's the most interesting character in the house right now. No one wants to hear about Kainoa's current obsession with Elmo or how he screams at me to give him "dat" all day and how I have no idea what "dat" is.

kainoa: "Want dat mommy!!! Want dat!!"

me: What do you want Kainoa?? Do you want your blanket? Do you want juice? Do you want a banana? Do you want a girlfriend? WHAT? What do you want?

kainoa: NOOO!!! DAT mommy DAT!

me: Kainoa I don't what DAT is and I have no idea what you're talking about.

kainoa: WAAAAAA!!!

See what I mean. Boring.

And no one wants to hear about how Laina begs me to print her coloring pictures all. day. long...and how she only wants coloring pictures of dogs and how her obsession with dogs has not faded in the four years I've known her, which leads me to believe that perhaps she was one in another life.

Since nobody wants to know about that stuff it leaves me with no choice but to talk about Maile's birthday party...a post that got pushed aside due to me being lazy about it.

I spent the morning of Maile's birthday decorating so that she'd be surprised with a party when she got home from school.

I thought it would be a terrific idea to go to the pet store and pick her up her own pet mouse. She had been talking about REALLY wanting a little white one and they look harmless enough so...

Luckily I have a wonderful assistant who was able to help me put the fancy pink cage together. Actually her niece happened to be with her and knew ALLLL about rodents and how to put their cages together. She was actually a huge help.

And she cracked us up because she would say things like, "You know these things don't live that long so don't be surprised when Maile's crying in a month because her mouse is dead."

I kind of wanted to adopt her.

Next I surprised my girl at school with a happy meal, a balloon, and cupcakes. I realize I'm completely setting myself up for failure in the years to come. There's no way I'm going to be able to keep this up and Kainoa is totally going to get shafted. Poor kid.

I put the finishing touches on the party when I got home...thankfully Michelle from Le Poppy Design came to my rescue as far as decorations go. Michelle is one of my little sister's best friends and she's seriously amazing at crafts and decor. She puts together party packages on Etsy that are tailored to each individual child's interests.

Nice right!?!

Maile requested a "seal" birthday party. Seriously. Where am I supposed to get seal birthday decor?

I emailed Michelle just days before the party and she she emailed me back and was all "no problem, I'm your girl!"

And then like one hour later she emailed again to say, "and fyi do not google search "baby seals" unless you want to see men clubbing the creatures...tell Maile thanks for that."

And being the intellect that I am I thought...'what kind of men go clubbing with baby seals!?!'...thinking it was some sick spin on sickos and their animal fetishes. I mean come on I don't know what kind of crazy things people are doing these days and if clubbing with seals was a new trend I wanted to know about it...so I did what Michelle discouraged me from doing and found a disturbing sight indeed.

Turns out men are not clubbing WITH baby seals so much as they are actually "beating" seals with clubs...as in to death...with giant bats...and then they photograph it...and put it on the internet.

Awesome.

Thank you Maile.

I SO would have rather seen some men and seals drinking margaritas together. It just makes more sense to me like that.

Michelle still somehow managed to create two amazing seal inspired banners and cake toppers for my girl!

Thanks Le Poppy!

ps Here's the happy moment when Maile was presented with little "White Eye"...her mouse.

ps again "White Eye" now has a sister that Laina lovingly refers to as "Apple". More to come on that later...

ps once more If Apple turns out to be a boy, you all are getting baby mice for Christmas...just sayin.