How do you determine which words are ok for your children to say and which are “bad”. Since having kids I’ve stopped swearing almost completely with exception of the occasional “damn” and “shit”, but never withing earshot of the little ones.
Yesterday at afternoon snack Maile was roaring at Laina causing her to scream. After reprimanding Laina for the unnecessary screaming I turned to Maile and told her to stop roaring. Maile looked away from me, picked up her snack, and said “you’re stupid.”
I was shocked! Did I just hear my angelic four year old call me stupid!?! I looked around baffled. “What did you just say??” She got in BIG trouble, sat in time out, apologized and promised to not call anyone that name again.
Here’s the kicker…she said it TWO MORE TIMES THAT DAY!! Referring to inanimate objects, but STILL. Each time she got in trouble. I’ve never heard her say anything like this before and I’m POSITIVE she picked this word up from me. I say “stupid” all the time. And after some thought, I’m now wondering…is it REALLY that bad of a word. It seems likely she’s going to eventually make this word part of her daily vocabulary some time in her lifetime.
Is it a “bad” word because it’s coming from a four year old? Is that why I don’t want her saying it? Because it IS a legitimate word. What words should she use instead? “No no Maile, Mommy’s not stupid…Mommy’s ig-nor-ant. Can you say ig-nor-ant??” Would that be better? Am I mad that she’s using a bad word, or am I mad that she has the audacity to call me a name? Is it ok for her to call her toys stupid? Do I have to stop saying stupid? What is the protocol here??