So hubby brought up an interesting topic today. Apparently he was listening to some talk radio crap this morning and the dr. on the show was advising parents on dealing with teens. He recommended that before your teen reaches puberty, before they start getting all emotional and hormonal you would be wise to take them on a little retreat. A get-a-way weekend if you will for some special one on one time. It is during this time that you will talk to and prepare your tween for the changes they are about to encounter. I got the embarrassed feeling as Pat was describing this train wreck and I’m getting the embarrassed feeling now as I write it. I am envisioning my poor children 9+ years from now sitting down with their father to hear about how soon their hormones will be raging, their bodies blossoming into those of young adults, and that they may feel confused at the emotions they may be experiencing but that this is all very normal.
I rewind to my 12 year old self and imagine having that same conversation with my own Mom. YUCK! I see myself squirming, looking around the room for temporary distractions, repeating mother goose rhymes in my head…ANYTHING to avoid the noise coming from her mouth that is a conversation I’d rather die than have.
Back to reality. I’m just looking at Pat like “you aren’t actually buying into this are you!?!” and he’s looking at me like “you’re really going to do our children a disservice if you’re not on board and I’ll be forced to do it myself.”
Don’t get me wrong. I am all about education and providing information and open lines of communication. But I think I’m more of a fan of the “borrow some books from the library and set them in the bedroom” kind of parent, as opposed to the “let’s sit down and discuss topics that will make us both feel awkward” parent.
A sit down talk would be bad enough, but manageable. A whole weekend?? What good would it do to spend a whole trip telling your tween they’re going to be a nightmare in a couple years. What happens in a couple years when they ARE a nightmare? Are they going to remember that conversation and be like ‘oh Dad warned me about this confusing irritable time period’ and then what?? Fix it?? Stop acting retarded??
I know that I am a complete bitch when I’m on my period, but that knowledge certainly does not work in anyone’s favor as that special time approaches each month…and I’m nearly THIRTY. Somehow our 14 year old will be able to manage those “changes” thanks to an extremely uncomfortable “getaway”??
But who knows. Maybe this all stems from the extreme house of modesty I was raised in. My Dad wasn’t comfortable baring even his legs and sent me to my room when I was four for flashing him after a bath. My sisters screamed bloody murder if a door was opened while they were changing. And any discussions including, but not limited to acne, boobs, penises and/or vaginas, feminine hygiene, nakedness, homosexuality, heterosexuality, boyfriends, girlfriends, bowel movements, and s.e.x were completely avoided. My education came preferably from friends, some school and some tv, and I’m ok with that! I mean look at me. I turned out GREAT!!
Sigh.
In conclusion I think I will spend age 12 to 13 of each of my children’s ages wondering when my husband is going to strike. On any occasion he might be leaving with a child for an extended period of time I might shout “Watch out Laina Dad’s gonna talk to you about SEX!!!!!” as they’re walking out the door. Or I’ll go running out to the car with a towel wrapped around my body and curlers in my hair yelling “Careful Kainoa Dad’s gonna teach you about wet dreams!!!!!”. I think those warnings and a few carefully placed library books will definitely save my kids from the embarrassed feeling. And I’m all about avoiding the embarrassed feeling.
