30 seconds chasing down Maile so I could fix her hair.
1 minute brushing it all out nicely while she whined and complained and Kainoa made his way over to my leg.
45 seconds parting it down the middle with two rubber bands in my mouth while Maile and Kainoa whined and complained and Laina got hungry.
2 minutes as I delicately and carefully placed two little half up ponys at the top of her head while trying to ignore Kainoa who climbed up my leg (steady now) whined and complained with Maile who’s whining and complaining while Laina’s hungry and whining and complaining.
I felt like I either wanted to hurt someone or take a shot of tequila, but instead I calmly finished my motherly hair fixing duties, picked up the crying baby and got Laina a cracker.
It took Maile about 10 seconds to start pulling out her hair and then begin crying because it was stuck and wouldn’t come all the way out.
All that for nothing.
It took me about 5 seconds to stomp over to Maile, anger and frustration written all over my face and pull the ponys from her hair.
Do you have any idea how HARD it was to not get in her face and yell,
“THERE!!! AND NOW YOUR HAIR LOOKS UGLY!!!!” and then turn around to everyone and scream “IN FACT YOU’RE ALL UGLY!!!! EVERY LAST FREAKING ONE OF YOU!!!”
Alas, I did not.