Dear Ellen (letter 3)

Hey Ellen!!

Me again…just writing to say CONGRATULATIONS!!! Holy cow you tied the knot! Just so you know I totally support gay marriage. If I were gay I would want to get married too. Not to you, I know, you’re married and everything, I am too…I mean just in general. Anyways, I’m just writing to congratulate you and offer my support.

I’ll tell you something I don’t support and that’s paparazzi…or any person or group of people with similar stalking characteristics. Don’t those people know when to stop!?! I mean seriously, get a clue. If Ellen WANTED to be photographed, if Ellen WANTED to chat, if Ellen WANTED you to be on her show, she would LET. YOU. KNOW.

I’ve got your back Ellen. If I were with you I wouldn’t let any of those people bother you. And I don’t mean “with” you like “married” to you, because we’re both already married and I’m not gay, but you know, if I were part of your entourage or something…I’d protect you from all those crazies. And by “protect” you I mean I would “sit in your mansion and eat cookies while watching your show in my bathrobe and scream obscenities at the paparazzi hiding in the bushes of your driveway”. You know. That kind of thing.

Just don’t get me started on the paparazzi. I mean I personally enjoy a lot of the pictures they take and I often buy the magazines that make them money and encourage their behavior, but DANG! Get a life paparazzi!! Don’t they know you all are just regular people who want to live normal lives too!?! It’s really irritating and I don’t support them…even though I kind of do by buying the magazines…I really don’t in my heart.

Anyways, I haven’t “actually” been contacted by your people yet…but I’m hoping October 2nd still works for you?? I haven’t notified the parents to let them know they’ll need to find alternative care for the daycare kids yet, but they’re pretty flexible and I’m thinking it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Have you arranged anything with Grey’s yet?? Just curious.

Well I can’t wait to put this whole thing in motion. I’ll go shopping soon for my “Ellen” outfit. My Mom thinks I look best in red, I may go in that direction. Will we have some sort of “dress rehearsal” before the live taping?? I’m wondering how many new tops I should buy. Also, will I have a choice as to what song will be played when I come out on stage??

I’m torn between Britney’s “Gimme More” as I’m an avid Britney supporter (yes, even through it all) or something a little more old school like Madonna’s “Like A Virgin”…since I kind of AM like a virgin…only not…since I’m married with kids and everything, but I mean I used to be. Anyways, what do you think would loosen up the audience a bit?? Oh man. I’m getting so excited. Can’t wait to see you!!



Mama Kat