Dear Janie,

Hi. It’s been awhile.

Are you aware of how much I totally despised working for you?? You were a complete bitch. You corrected me any time I referred to my place of work as a daycare and were quick to assure me I worked in a “learning center”.

You watched me and the other assistant daycare teachers like. a. hawk. And you had a correct way of doing everything, from cutting watermelon to rinsing paint brushes and we did not dare step outside of the box you put us in.

You were impersonal, rude, and demanding. Nobody ever crossed you. Nobody ever wanted to be in a room alone with you. Nobody ever wanted to appear to be anything less than 100% fully engaged in the children we were watching.

You scared the shit out of us.

I’m writing now to say……daaammmmnnnn girl!!! How’d you DO that!?! I’m a horrible employer. HORRIBLE. Way too nice.

If I knew then what I know now I would have gone to work with a notebook and pen and followed you around like your little pet. I would have poured your coffee just the way you liked it, I would have cut your watermelon in heart shapes, and I would have fluffed your pillow every night before the sun went down.

Maybe it’s the home environment. Maybe it’s because I want employees to feel comfortable here. Maybe it’s because I feel like they deserve to make more money and am therefore indebted to them. I don’t know what it is, but I definitely could have learned something from you….you did what you had to do to run a successful business and it worked. You may not have made a lot of friends…but it worked.

I’m sorry for calling you a cold hearted bitch all those times.

Love Kathy.

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Get a load of this!

Yesterday one of the school agers, Jenna, was getting into it with Maile and Satie. Jenna is in fourth grade and she was mad at the girls for acting like dogs and jumping up on her when she wanted to play something else.

Jenna has been in my care since she was four and I’m actually pretty good friends with her mom now.

Anyways, I stepped in and basically told Jenna she was overreacting and the girls are only four and she shouldn’t be getting so worked up over four year olds. Then I told the four year olds to knock it off. The End.

About ten minutes later I realized Jenna had been in the bathroom for awhile and I saw WAF had gone in to check on her. Jenna came out crying (highly unlike her) and ate some breakfast and by the time school started she was playing and over it and back to her old self.

Personally I think the adjustment to her new little sister has been hard on her. She’s not used to sharing her Mom and it’s just been a lot to get used to.

SO! Her Mom calls me up about an hour after she left and freaking out.

The Mom: Hey!!! What’s going on!?! Is everything ok???

Me: Yeah!! Why??

The Mom: I just got Jenna’s message!! She was crying and saying she really needed to talk to me and to call her back as soon as I could…is she ok?? Is she there!?! What happened??

Me: She called you!?!

As it turns out WAF brought Jenna the phone so she could call her Mom.

I’ll let you digest that.

My assistant. Without ASKING me. Brought a CHILD, MY phone to call their mother.

If Jenna had asked me to call her Mom to talk to her about a verbal fight she got into with some four year olds…I would have said no.

No we will not call your mother at work so that you can cry to her about four year olds bothering you. Let’s talk it out. If it’s that bad…let’s talk it out.

What was she THINKING!?!

While I was on the phone I glanced up at her and said, “did Jenna call her Mom?? Did you let Jenna call her mom!?!”

WAF: Oh yeaaahhh…I meant to tell you about that….

What I wanted to say: Meant to TELL me. I’m your BOSS. You don’t tell me shit. I tell YOU. That’s how that works.

What I actually said: Okaaaayyy…ummm. Yeah, that definitely…you really should have told me that. I mean…if Jenna had asked me I would have just talked to her about it, I would never have given her the phone to call her mom.

WAF: Oh yeah…really? Ok…yeah I meant to tell you.

What is wrong with her!?! I wonder what Janie would have done if I had given a kid the phone to call their parents…

How would you have reacted?? Nobody taught me how to be an employer when I started this gig…I guess I’m learning the hard way…three times over.

Lesson from Ms. Ghetto Fabulous: Don’t hire young moms who want to take their kids to work with them and need to borrow your car. Check.

Lesson from Ms. Awesome: Don’t get too close with “employees”…it makes things difficult when it’s time to part ways. Check.

Lesson from Ms. WAF: Be firm and straight forward with your expectations and make it clear that things around here are done YOUR way…a little Janie goes a long way. Check.