Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Missing You Greatly

September 24th marked the anniversary of my Dad's death...and the Real World/Road Rules Challenge is about to come on...and it would be so easy to copy and paste a poem/letter I wrote for my Dad when I was a tormented teen in high school. Thing is it's sad...and I'm actually not in the mood to feel sad (or to make YOU sad) right now.

BUT.

Easy post wins out over sad.

Let this be your warning that if you're dealing with or are super sensitive about anything regarding death or specifically the death of a parent then do yourself a favor and link over to another participant!!!

Dad,

Why did you pass away as soon as you did?
Do you realize how much I missed you as a kid?

The fun times we had are now memories of the past.
I loved you so much, and you went so fast.

I will never understand why you had to go.
Maybe I wasn't meant to know.

You were the light of my life, you played a big part,
And no one can replace that piece torn from my heart.

As much as I wish you had not gone,
I know I should bury the past and simply move on.

But it is so hard to forget and keep going
When my love for you is endlessly growing.

I honestly want to leave it all behind,
The hurt and the pain that haunts my mind.

But their is absolutely nothing I can do.
I can't let myself forget you.

My sweet sixteenth has come and gone
And without you there it felt so wrong.

But I missed tradition, I never got the kiss.
I never got the hug, and there's so much more I missed.

There's more to come that will be spent without you,
If there's anything I hate it's admitting that's true.

I'm dying to call for you but the name makes me sad.
Oh! The feeling of a response when I call for Dad!

It just doesn't seem fair that you had to get sick.
Why did we get stuck with the short end of the stick?

Sometimes I get jealous and I know it's not right,
But so many have Dads that avoided the light.

I am so completely overwhelmed with pain,
And though the fingers are here to point there's no one here to blame.

So here I am left alone and confused.
I remember the days when I had nothing to lose.

The shock has long passed, my only question is,
Was I supposed to learn from this?

I am confused, sad, frustrated, and angry.
Why did God take you? How could you leave me?

I want answers to things only you would know.
I need your help, your comfort, where did you go?

Will this pass? Can I be happy?
I cry for you. Do you cry for me?

Does the pain stop? Is it endless?
It's killing me. Did it kill you?

Will you hold my hand? Will you stay with me?
I need you. Do you need me?

Can I be with you? Can we laugh?
I love you. Do you love me?

Can I see you? Can we talk?
I miss you. Do you miss me?

47 comments:

Christie said...

You're right, your poem is sad but so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for the writing prompt.

Weeksie50 said...

I am so sorry for your loss at such a young age. Your words to your father were beautiful. I hope they were also healing...

Krazy Armstrong K's! said...

Where's the tissues? Seriosuly Kathy, hit home like a ton of bricks... great job!

Jennifer P. said...

sorry about being up there twice. I only wrote one thing. Guess Mr. Linky just couldn't get enough of me tonight.

I LOVED your poem Kat. It's a good thing I was already crying over my own mom, so I just let the tears keep going for you too. "lazy" or not--I'm glad you shared this.

Becky said...

That is a great piece of poetry. I am sorry it came from such sorrow. Thank you for sharing it.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

That is tragically beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Carrie said...

Between you and Jennifer P, I really feel like a jerk chickening out and doing the 10 things list rather than the letter. I knew the letter would be to my mom and the truth is, I just didn't have it in me to write it just yet. She deserves it though.
Thanks for sharing the poem, it is amazing.

Melanie said...

Very moving post. I'm working on a letter but to get one in for today I did 2 of the easier prompts. You are an awesome writer and these ideas are just great.

Los said...

I was actually considering writing a letter to my older brother ... he passed away in 1993 (long story - maybe I'll blog about it - I think I may have blogged about it before, can't remember). But, it would've been pretty difficult, and sad, so that is why I chose the topic I did ... not one of my best homeworks, unfortunately.

Jen said...

I love the poem, the raw emotions is just so beautiful. I am so glad that you shared.

Mrs.D said...

Sorry, didn't read it. I cry easily. I am sure it was nice, though -after seeing the comments. And I actually got my post up on time! ;-)

Mrs.D said...

Sorry, didn't read it. I cry easily. I am sure it was nice, though -after seeing the comments. And I actually got my post up on time! ;-)

Rhonda said...

I can't use Mr. Linky for some reason. It just seems to refresh your page. The whole box is automatically linking back to your page.

Weird.

Come and read it anyway, okay?

Drama Mama said...

That is a great poem...I tried to write a letter to my Dad for Prompt #3...but I could not bring myself to do it...too sad... I will try harder and maybe I will find the strength. You are a great inspiration to writers!!

Being Brazen said...

Great poem.

This writers workshop is such a great idea.

Rachel said...

I am speechless...I have said before you are a great writer but that poem is just beautiful. I loved it!

I took the easy way out...I'm at work and I didnt' want to cry...so I wrote about taking the day off.

sassy stephanie said...

Man, you made my cry. At least it was before I put my makeup on.

Of course he misses you, silly.

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

thanks for the warning and I did have to pass on reading this one as my dad died when I was 18, and it's too early in the morning right now to cry!!

Ink and Stone said...

Found this through Los's blog. Very interesting!
Your poem was quite touching.

Ren said...

You're right it is sad, but it is a wonderful poem!

Darcie said...

I read it. And I know exactly what you went through and probably still go through to this day. I lost my dad three weeks before my 17th birthday to leukemia. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him and don't get a bit angry at life that he was taken from me so young. *hugs*

Solei said...

Ms. Kathy,
My homework is in!
Although I'll never be able to top the teacher 'cause you're a wonderful writer. Your letter are always great, wether funny or sad!
=0D

Lula! said...

Oh, Kathy...

Jo-Jo said...

I lost my dad when I was 18. He had a brain tumor he suffered from since I was 12. I was so mad at him and at God for taking him. Some of that pain still is there. Your poem does a wonderful job explaining it.

les_mason_curt said...

I cannot immagine loosing my Dad, how confused and lost and sad you must have been. You peom was a great explanation of how you felt. thanks for the outlet, I needed it!

Emily said...

I had to skip the poem since I lost my dad less than 2 years ago- I know you understand, and thanks for the heads up!:)

Melissa said...

So, I didn't heed the warning...and let myself read that awesome poem!! After suffering the loss of my own mother only 3 years ago, this was very emotional and touching!!!
Thanks!

sj said...

ugh. my head was already so full of liquid, and now it's like i'm leaking....


beautiful job... i loved it! even if it did make me cry.

Rhonda said...

Well, crap. You must have put me in there. I got to work and this computer was working, so I added my name, then see that someone already added it! lol

Sorry!

PS. Although it just might be worth a second read??? lol

angie said...

Beautiful, Kat. I think we had the same thing on our minds....I miss my mom a lot too.

lifegoesbyfast said...

Very touching poem. I wrote a letter to my mom. It doesn't get deep though. I'm just not there yet. I've decided I may never be. Thanks for the writing prompts they get me thinking.

Cherlyn said...

That's a lovely poem. So sorry to hear about your dad.

Mine's kind of sad too, actually.

Angie said...

I'm 37 and I haven't lost anyone close to me yet. I don't know how you got through it and I don't know how I'll get through it when the time comes...

My post is on the sad side too so be warned...

~angie~

- C - said...

I was trying to think of something when I came across your page. Thanks! .... PS you write beautiful poetry.

Merrie said...

Very touching, K. Thank you for sharing that with us.

I didn't do the workshop this week because today is my daughter's birthday. Come check THAT out, though. :)

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Oh my...I only hope my sweet girl never has to write a letter like that to her dad...

It was beautiful...thank you for sharing.

Lorie said...

That was a beautiful poem. You are truly gifted with words.

hautepocket said...

Lovely. Thank you for sharing this.

Capricorn said...

sry 4 ur loss.

Lex the mom said...

You express things so well with your writings. I have read about your dad in some of your other posts & I think he left a fabulous legacy in you & the rest of your family.

I can't imagine a loss that early in life.

Prudence said...

I've really wanted to start my blog, but everytime I tried to sit down and write about something I got stuck. Then I found your blog and next thing you know, you're giving me homework. Thank you! Maybe one day my blog will be as funny as yours . . .

Mommy In Waiting said...

Hi! I've come to your blog several times through Mrs. S. (if you read her blogs I'm her beloved Mrs. Spiderlegs). I decided to participate in the workshop this time...I've never felt like I had anything important to say. But your letter was powerful and beautiful. And so I wrote one of my own. :) Thanks for inspiring us to express ourselves freely and encouraging us to support one another in doing so. You're great!!!

Laura (Mrs. Spiderlegs)

Michelle said...

Thanks for sharing such a personal poem!

I wanted to add my link to Mr. Linky but whenever I click on the name space all the info turns into a link and re-links me to your site.

Not the case with the contest Mr. Linking....so I just linked there (and I did mention the give a way with my writing assignment!).

Rhea said...

That was so sad, Kat!! It must have been so hard to lose your dad. :o(

misspro312 said...

I left one I know its late!!! Sorry!

Lauren said...

My post will be up Saturday. (tomorrow) It's all set. I did the 10 things. :-)

Marrdy said...

Whaaaa!!! I can't get my computer to leave you my link....but I did this finally!! Thanks for the idea.

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