With Pat:
Pat: I don’t know the password…
Me: It’s easy, it’s the date of his birth 030541…you know March fifth 1941…
Pat: Hmmm. The year Pearl Harbor was bombed.
Me: (barely listening and firing back like the smarty pants I am) Noooooo…we did not bomb Pearl Harbor in March dufus, we bombed Pearl Harbor in December.
pause.
Pat: WE didn’t bomb Pearl Harbor dumb ass. Japan did.
:)
Oh yeah. Right. My bad.
Note to self: Do not attempt to school a Hawaiian native in Hawaiian history. Check.
In my defense I totally knew that…I was just talking faster than I was thinking. Whatev.
With Maile:
Maile: Snot nice to hit peeple right mom?
Me: Nope. Not nice at all. We need to keep our hands to ourselves…
Maile: Or kick people eeder…
Me: Hmm-mmm. Kicking is not nice.
Maile: I won’t kick Laina mom.
Me: Good. You be a nice sister.
Maile: Iss not nice to call Laina a name.
Me: No. We have to talk nicely…
Maile: I won’t kick’er or pull’er hair.
Me: Oh good. Thank you.
Maile: Iss not nice to choke eeder or put my hands on-er neck.
Frustrated much Maile? I’m glad she’s confirming the rules before acting on them…just wants to make sure…
With Laina:
Laina: But I WANT Fosted Fwakes.
Me: No.
Laina: But I DO want dem.
Me: NO Laina, breakfast is OVER.
Laina: uhuh uhuh uhuh, but my tummy hurts…I’m. So. Tie-yood.
Me: I’m sorry, but I’m not getting anything out for you to eat. You’ll have to wait till snack.
Laina: Well den I will bweak yo house….and and and I will take a knife and cut all yo wendows..
Whoa whoa whoa…Laina just took food cravings to an entirely new level. Cut my windows with a knife?? Where does she GET this stuff?? And what’s up with my violent daughters?? Where is the love?
With Kainoa:
Me: (singing) Nothin you can doooo ’cause I’m stuck like glue to Kaaaiiiinoa…
Kainoa: Oonga.
Me: Nothin you can say can make me turn away from Kaaaaiiiinoa…
Kainoa: Onga bah bah.