Ok I’m back on The Bachelorette train. I watched The Bachelorette at Alecia’s last night and her Jill and together they sucked me back in. They gave me the low down on every single character and why they were or were not douche bags (their words. not mine.)
I learned that one guy apparently wants to tie another guy to a tree and beat him because he faked taking a shot which is not a manly thing to do. Whereas tying people to trees and beating them is like the manliest.
I learned that Jillian is not a cute crier.
Not like me. I look like a princess when I’m crying.
(Thank you Arts at Denver for supplying us with that visual. I loved posing for you.)
I learned that the show is not biased towards straight men only and that gay men don’t get sent home.
I learned that men with guitars who sing the same one hit wonder over and over and over again are obnoxious and should be banned from the show.
I learned that Jillian is more fun to watch when she’s drunk and is supposed to be having a serious conversation, but instead affectionately pets the boy and asks him if he likes her.
I learned that when I google search the words “Jillian the Bachelorette + drunk”, my own website comes up.
Nice.
How does Google know I’m drunk when I watch The Bachelorette? That’s what I want to know.
I learned that a lot of men flatulate in their sleep and that it’s never pleasant…not necessarily from the show…but still. I learned that I might have just made up the word flatulate.
I also learned that Alecia never saw Beyonce perform If I Were A Boy on Oprah. This song gives me chills so I have to share it.
