Someone is in the business of destroying a little girl’s dreams and her name starts with an E and rhymes with felon. And that little girl is me.
That’s right. I said it.
No I’m not “little” per se…not how you’re thinking. To you I am just another thirty year old alcoholic mom with nothing better to do than bother you for tickets to your show while her children nap. And by “bother you for tickets to your show” I mean “beg for a spot to STAR on your show”.
But deep down Ellen…deep inside…really deep in me is a little girl. A little girl with hope. A little girl with dreams. A little girl with faith.
She has faith in you Ellen. That you will see beyond the minivan and hoodie. That you will look past the drug use and dirty hair and see me for what I am on the inside…not the inside part that laughs at the train wreck that is Heidi and Spencer. Or the inside part that secretly wants to have an affair with Jared Leto. And not the inside part that tsks at John and Kate. And not the inside part that flinches at Madonnas weird fifty year old rock hard biceps or even the inside part that inadvertently trips children while playing outside and then soothingly coos “you gotta watch where you’re goin bud!!”
No. I’m talking about the other inside part. The inside that cares about The People. The inside that wants The People to feel good. The inside that is thoughtful and caring and selfless. How many mommy bloggers have you had on your show Ellen?? I rest my case. And how many mommy bloggers WATCH your show Ellen??? I venture to guess 32 billion…just off the top of my head. The People want to see a mommy blogger Ellen. They want you to love mommy bloggers…I simply want to help The People. See how selfless I am?? And yet…I have not received a response from you…unless you count that Covergirl commercial where I really felt like you were smiling at me with your eyes.
I am just a number to you. Just another one in a 32 billion. But I’m not writing to talk about politics Ellen. I’m writing to talk about faith. I’m more than a number. I’m a little girl inside a 30 year old minivan driver with dirty hair and an affection for vodka…just a little girl with pig tails and a lollipop and a voice that is screaming to be heard.
Just a little girl with hope that you will hear her. Don’t hate little girls Ellen. We believe in you. And by “we” I mean “I”. I believe in you Ellen. I believe you will use me as a vessel to reach the blogging moms of the world. Together Everyone Achieves More…how ’bout you and me “team” up?
- Letter #1: I’ve Contacted Ellen Degeneres
- Letter #2: A Tentative Date With Ellen
- Letter #3: Ellen And I Hate The Paparazzi
- Letter #4: Ellen And I Are Like Soulmates
- Letter #5: Ellen “Qwacks” Me Up
- Letter #6: Ellen And I Have A LOT In Common.
- Letter #7: Ellen’s Hidden Jewel