pat: hmmm...maybe you need tums or something...
me: No I think it's because of this (lifting shirt).
pat: What's THAT!?!
me: Spanx.
pat: What??
me: Spanx. It makes me look skinnier. See watch...when it's pulled up like this my stomach is nice and smooth and you can't tell I had three helpings of lasagna and a slice of chocolate cake before going out...
pat: okaaaaay....
me: But if I pull it down you can see the lasagna and cake and other girls at the bar will be looking to find something wrong with me so I have to hide it.
pat: Let me get this straight...you sacrifice comfort and cause physical pain to yourself...because of girls you may or may not know who may or may not even be looking.
me: Mmm-hmmm.
pat: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Just look at that thing! Is it pretty tight?
me: Well yeah! It's gotta keep everything tucked in doesn't it!?!
pat: I cannot believe you do that.
me: I know...but girls are so catty and I'm not going to give them reasons to knock me down.
pat: Girls are ridiculous and I am glad I'm not one.
me: Mmm-hmm. Me too. You know this would be a great blog topic...it IS kind of ridiculous how uncomfortable we make ourselves for the sake of looking good. I bet a bunch people would leave supportive comments on that one...
(thinking)
me: You know what's interesting about women though?
pat: What's that?
me: It's that the same women whom I love that read my blog and leave supportive comments are the ones I'm trying to hide the lasagna and chocolate cake from in the first place. Hmph. Go figure.
63 comments:
I'd never try to knock you down.
I'd just trip you. lol.
Seriously though. What you're saying is SO true. I always wonder what other women are thinking of me. 'Course I'm so low right now, they could be thinking I look nice and I'd think the worst. I think we all do that.
LOL!! Too funny. Spanx..YIKES. even the name sounds painful. My hubby has a one track mind and would probably end the conversation with "I'll give you some Spanx" punctuated with some "bow chicka bow wow". Being a woman has some perks I guess!!
Men just don't get it. They have no idea the pain and suffering we endure for the sake of beauty....to not being attacked by other mean women and to attract said men. Why?!
Sorry, no support for you from me. Nope. I did not buy a girdle right after I had my third child JUST to go to a church activity one night with all women. I also do not remember (vividly) how my friend, Hallie, looked stunned when she told me how thin I was (adding, "for just having a baby" which is a disclaimer of looking thin, by the way).
But, just in case I want to just LOOK at a SPANX because I might have my 25 year class reunion coming up in two weeks, where might I get one.
For my friend. Yeah. That's it.
so if i wear two layers of spanx can i have two servings of everything? that would be faaaabulous!
I would be miserable, spanx or not, if I had eaten three helpings of lasagne. Can you say oink girl? LOL. And then cake on top of that. Whew. Should have just went for the cake I say.
I wish my totally empty stomach looked half as good as your chocolate cake and lasagna filled one. And, do those Spanx things really work? I've tried like regular girdles before and the fat just finds a way to creepy over the top, creating double boobs, or pool around the hip area making me look like I'm wearing an inner tube under my shirt. Perhaps, I'm just too fat?!
It's so funny, isn't it? You know everyone is miserable and sucking it in and writing about it. Can't we all vow to free our muffin tops together?
I have done that, too! Worn the uncomfortable girdle-thing to suck in my excess flabiness. So sad what we put ourselves through! But it seems worth it to be able to hide all of that bloating. Yesterday, Reese kept saying, "Look, everyone! Mommy's pregnant again! Mommy has a baby in her tummy!" I could have used a spanx for that....
-->My jelly belly and I chuckled after reading this post.
My BFF and I will complain about how our shoes hurt but in the same breath say, "Well, at least we Look Good!"
~deb
www.WebSavyMom.com
I agree with you 100%. We can't give other women ammo. It's just the way it is. The way it has always been. I don't wear spanx. I prefer to suck it in and not breathe when I go out, but I only have one friend, and we don't go out at all, so I haven't had to do that since my last trip to the beach when I was in the bikini. Stand up straight and suck it in. That's what I was raised to do. Also, "Ladies don't chew gum, or swear." I carry a pack of gum with me, and I'm always looking for an opportunity to curse. Have a wonderful day and take care.
-Kiki
I LOVE my Spanx!! Dolly Parton said it best: "I haven't left the house without lycra on these thighs since I was 17." (Steel Magnolias)
I *hate* it when men say things like that - talking like we're all crazy and stuff when what we do makes *perfect* sense.
You like the women, so you want to impress the women. Men? They're easy. Short. Tight. A little bit of flab is fine as long as you're willing to give them a kiss. Women? Not so easy to impress. Isn't it obvious that they're the ones you wear the Spanx for?
Oh yeah. totally wore shoes this weekend that were too small. hurt so bad but they were so cute.
Go 'head and let it all hang out. I do! :D
True story! LOL. I have been considering getting some spanx!
I have been trying to help my three sons understand women. It's not going very well.
Forget how much pain we put ourselves through...how about how we don't seem to mind at all how damn ugly SPANX are??? Everytime I put one on (rarely but I have) my husband practically vomits. They are NOT the least bit sexy!!
Hallie :)
I have tried to explain this to my husband COUNTLESS times... girls check out other girls more than they check out guys! And NO, it's not because we're lesbians!
I'm pretty sure God didn't have His hands on Spanx being invented! He made you in His image Kat, go with it! You are beautiful just as you are, and would be much more comfortable sans the Spanx!
My hubs does not get it either, I have given up explaining why we put ourselves thru pain just so people we don't know think we look okay.
P.S. I wore Spanx on my wedding day... and not because they are sexy :)
It was a silk flowing gown which let every. single. tiny (or large) flaw be seen.
I was just having a conversation with a friend yesterday about how I should try to bring the girdle back in style. I forgot about Spanx...those sound a lot better. Although I'd be hiding beer, chips and dip, and other terrible, terrible treats instead of chocolate cake.
Now I tell you all the time how pretty you are...I'll add skinny to the list.
But where is the before and after picture?
Thanks for providing the inspiration for a blog post. This subject just gets my queen size panties in a big ole wad.
Oh the price we pay to look good :)
Thanks for this! I am amazed sometimes by the things we women do to look better for women! lol
They guys they don't really care all that much but like high heels and things, but when I go out with girls it takes me twice as long and I am even more uncomfortable because of the things I do!
Somewhere around the age of 40, you wake up one day and say to yourself..."I'm exhausted. The next 20 years I'm going to work on loving this body. Who cares what everyone else thinks?"
And then you let it all hang out. Until, you get invited to go to a reunion or a wedding where all your old homies are going to be. Yikes!
Okay...it never gets easier. Men have it way easier...but they're very, very shallow. Have you noticed? They only think of what they are thinking. ha
I can't you spanx!
You certainly don't need it.
Silly girl, spanx are for kids! heh heh
Mmmm hmm, in my case I'm trying to hide chips and margaritas though. Potato/Po-tah-to!
I firmly believe that Spanx are a gift from the gods...love mine. Without them you'd be able to tell I have 4 kids with them I can lie about that all day long...jk...maybe!
three pieces of lasagna AND cake? you go girl.
and don't worry, you look great spanxyouverymuch!
I just bought my first Spanx this weekend and I'm going to try it out this week! I'm so excited but not about feeling uncomfortable! Thanks for making me feel it's ok to wear something that hides my flaws! :)
I would never look at you and think you had three helpings of lasagna and a slice of chocolate cake...you are tall and thin (even without the spanx) and I am short and fat (stubby, plumb, round). Perhaps I should try spanx...maybe I would look tall and thin. If I could look like you that would totally rock! (now I sound like I'm 16!)
Haha!
Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
I have had the same conversation with Jeff. He doesn't get it either and he thinks that Spanx are ridiculous. At least when I wear them I feel good about myself and I know that I will be able to go right to sleep that night b/c there will be no hubby 'poking' me in the back. ;)
I've always wanted to try Spanx! I hate the whole judgmental women thing too. It makes me so crazy that I try not to think about it. Easier said than done fo sho.
I REFUSE to believe that you not only OWN a pair of Spanx but that you actually WEAR them!! Seriously???
Seriously.....
(PS: I do and I HATE them. Maybe I'm not wearing them right because they always roll down)
I wear my girdle to church every sunday. to those who comment on how much they hate me for being so little after giving birth to twins, well, some of them now know my secret, and some of them...don't.
It reminds me of Steel Magnolias:
"I haven't left the house without lycra on these thighs since I was 14."
"You were brought up right."
I have the Target version of Spanx - not sure what they are called - but they definitely help keep the muffin top under control.
I know! I know! Love my spanx!!
Look at that gorgeous woman in the middle between her sis'! I swear I could never ever knock you down - you may knock me down though. :)
Oh my gosh. You totally don't need Spanx, for goodness sakes! I haven't been as thin as you since I was born! And that's a great picture, the colors really pop.
I've never tried Spanx before but I've always been tempted to. Just to see how skinny it makes me.
"pat: Let me get this straight...you sacrifice comfort and cause physical pain to yourself...because of girls you may or may not know who may or may not even be looking."
poor guys just really don't understand
I'm going shopping today in sweat shorts and one of my hubs t-shirts. I don't care what other cats...er, women have to say, I'm comfy :-D
Shut up! You. Do not. need. Spanx.
...and if I ever met you in person, I wouldn't try to find something to bring you down, mean women suck.
I've never worn spanx but God knows I need them!
Oh honey, don't hide it for my sake. I refuse to wear them, I mean what if I need another piece of cake and there is no room? I'm not willing to suffer for beauty that much!
I love me some Spanx! How else can you lose 15 pounds in 5 minutes?
I've never heard of spanx. I just buy bigger clothes. I want everyone to know and talk about MY lasagna! mmmhmmm that's right! he he he
blessings woman and take a breath!
Wait... you wear Spanx on a non formal occasion? CRAP, that's my problem.
I love Spanx. I hate Spanx.
I love Spanx. I hate Spanx.
Please show me your muffin top. It would make me feel a helluva lot better about mine.
~note to self~ I am putting them on the list! I need a pair....
I am glad I didn't watch now. It seems like I would have just been annoyed. I have four loads of laundry to fold and don't feel like doing it...I blame Jillian
I think those Spanx make you look phat! You look phat with or without them.
Spanx and self tanner are my friends. 3 kids in 2 years does wonders to a girl's abs.
And I too blame Jillian for all that is wrong with my life!
Yes you know women really dress for other women not men!
BTW you are super hot and I am sure you don't need the spanx!
I have the Walmart version of Spanx. So stinkin' uncomfortable, but oh so necessary.
Until this week I had never heard of Spanx. Quite a conversation, LOL!
I always feel like a weight has been lifted when I take the Spanx off.
Your makeup always looks great... light and natural. You should post about what you use. :)
LMAO! If I ran into you at a bar I wouldn't knock you down...I'd buy you a drink.
You'll have to let Pat check this out: Spanx for Men.
http://trendsupdates.com/equmen-to-unveil-trendy-spanx-for-men/
You often hear celebrities talking about wearing TWO pairs.
I won't knock you down. I'll be as supportive as those spanx are, but hopefully not as uncomfortable.
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