me: Ugh….my stomach hurts….
pat: hmmm…maybe you need tums or something…
me: No I think it’s because of this (lifting shirt).
pat: What’s THAT!?!
me: Spanx.
pat: What??
me: Spanx. It makes me look skinnier. See watch…when it’s pulled up like this my stomach is nice and smooth and you can’t tell I had three helpings of lasagna and a slice of chocolate cake before going out…
pat: okaaaaay….
me: But if I pull it down you can see the lasagna and cake and other girls at the bar will be looking to find something wrong with me so I have to hide it.
pat: Let me get this straight…you sacrifice comfort and cause physical pain to yourself…because of girls you may or may not know who may or may not even be looking.
me: Mmm-hmmm.
pat: That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Just look at that thing! Is it pretty tight?
me: Well yeah! It’s gotta keep everything tucked in doesn’t it!?!
pat: I cannot believe you do that.
me: I know…but girls are so catty and I’m not going to give them reasons to knock me down.
pat: Girls are ridiculous and I am glad I’m not one.
me: Mmm-hmm. Me too. You know this would be a great blog topic…it IS kind of ridiculous how uncomfortable we make ourselves for the sake of looking good. I bet a bunch people would leave supportive comments on that one…
(thinking)
me: You know what’s interesting about women though?
pat: What’s that?
me: It’s that the same women whom I love that read my blog and leave supportive comments are the ones I’m trying to hide the lasagna and chocolate cake from in the first place. Hmph. Go figure.
