Kathy Joins Us From Heaven Via Skype

I think I’m going to map out a blue print for my own funeral. I told Baby about this a little over the weekend…I want to make it impossible for anyone to cry. So I was thinking if I script everything from the beginning to the end…meaning I write the eulogy, I decide who reads it, I pick the music and flowers and casket and what not. And seeing as I already wrote my own obituary:

(We were blessed. If only she could have lived forever. Timeless. Like her beauty. She made us laugh with her quick wit…she charmed us with her easy smile…she enchanted us with her thoughtful thoughts…damn we’re really gonna miss her. So what’s for dinner???)

I figure I may as well add some things to the agenda now.

I would like my casket to be black with hot pink polk a dots in honor of my blog. My little shout out to you all.

I want complete and utter silence and heads bowed deep in thought and prayer as this song is played:

I would like all the women to wear those hats you wear to watch the horse races…

because I’ve always wanted to wear a hat like that to the horse races in true Pretty Woman fashion, so it only makes sense that as a dying wish I might want people to do that.

I would like Pat to wear the Hat Of Sadness that I found on Etsy too long ago.
I would like a pre recorded video of myself smiling and waving at various people in the church playing on a large screen throughout the service with a caption that reads “Kathy joins us from Heaven via Skype“.

That’s all I can think of right now.

Hmmm.

That was sobering.

I don’t wanna die.

Why are you guys so morbid?