Aries has peed in the playroom four times.
That being said, I do not think it's too much to ask of Aries to do his business around 11pm and then hold it comfortably until 6am. I WOULD just force him to stay in his crate at that time, but I can't sleep through the whining and I can't shake the image of a shatty dog from my slumber...you see I have no choice.
In addition to the Aries fiasco, Maile has realized that Laina crawls into our bed every night and sleeps snuggly nestled between Pat and I.
So guess who's been getting up now?
Maile.
She says she's scared or that there's a bug in her room, but what she really means is that if Laina can sleep with Mom and Dad, she wants to sleep with Mom and Dad too.
Hmm-mm. That's not gonna fly with me.
I drag Laina back to her room all the time and am hoping she's going to outgrow this little phase. Maile on the other hand has been sleeping in her own room without any trouble her entire life. We're not gonna start this now.
I even tried letting them sleep in the same room with the hopes that they'd find comfort with one another, but they just chat until 11pm and Laina STILL gets in bed with us.
11:30: Lights out mama's in bed.
12:30: Aries whining, pull myself out of my sweet dream with Channing Tatum to take Aries outside.
1:30: Laina crawls in bed. I bring her back to her room. Aries starts whining again...back outside he goes.
3:00: Laina crawls in bed again.
3:15 Maile sees Laina in our bed and asks if she can get in.
I tell her there's not enough room and then I take Laina to her bed. Maile starts crying...and by crying I mean screaming about how scared she is with her eyes closed so that she can neither see not hear reason. Reason being Me.
3:17 Aries is whining again. I take him BACK outside while Maile's screaming gets louder as she thinks I'm ignoring her.
3:20 The good angel on my shoulder is reminding me that Maile is only 5 and that I should not harm a five year old.
The bad angel is reminding me of the sleep I'm missing and of the quality time I'm missing with Channing Tatum.
Meanwhile Maile's screaming is waking the entire house and she should know better.
I. Am. Fuming. I put Aries BACK into his crate and march over to her room and in my loudest, meanest mom whisper I say:
What do you want. WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!
maile: Waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
me: Stopit!! JUST STOPIT!!! TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!!
maile: Laaaainnnaaaaa!!!!! I WANNNNNNA SLEEP WIT LAAAINNNAAAA!!!!
me: Maile! Laina is SLEEPING and you two talk too much and just NO, you're not sleeping with Laina. You are waking up this entire HOUSE and I'm trying REALLY hard not to hurt you right now, but I am REALLY angry and if you don't stop this SECOND I'm going to spank you! (which is sure to make everything better right?) Just tell me what you want!!
maile: (head shaking no)
me: Well I'll tell you what I want!
I want to SLEEP. I don't want to get up with Laina. I don't want to get up with Kainoa. I don't want to get up with Aries (my voice cracks when I say Aries because the lack of sleep and getting up with dogs and fighting with my 5 year old at 3am makes me want to cry too).
And I don't want to get up with you! I. want. to. sleep.
As I stood there whisper yelling Maile completely stopped crying and just stared. Her mother standing in her doorway in a tank top and underwear, smeared makeup and crazy hair talking crazy talk...she just stopped.
Thank you! I hissed. Now go to sleep!!
Just an hour and a half later Aries is whining to go outside again....and guess who is sleeping at the foot of my bed on top of a pile of dirty clothes...
Maile and Laina. Curled up together.
Gawwwd.
I will have you know, however, that Pat slept peacefully and soundly all. night. long.
78 comments:
yes, the husband sleeping peacefully all night long. isn't it awesome.
no wonder you are dreaming of tatum channing.
Why? WHY must the men be made with sound proof hearing during sleep??? I don't understand this! It drives me bats. My son will sit there at 6 am, kicking and screaming that he wants the dinosaur shirt he grew out of 6 months ago and not the monkey shirt that fits right and makes us late due to the tantrums all the while my S.O. sleeps soundly...amazing...
-snort!- I so don't miss those days.
Our dog and our kids both got over it after a few nights like that, and the dog now slips into her cage for naps and just to hang out. She's snoring in there now, matter of fact.
Also, I love the picture repetition. Awesome effect on the story!
Oh my God! You are a saint... I think i might have considered putting the child in the crate, the dog in the bed and go sleep in the car with Channing! Maybe that's why i'm not a mom yet LOL
oh yeah- love the whining dog. My dog did that and for the first little while I would take him out as he was getting use to the kennel. But then I knew he was just doing it because he knew he would get out if he whined so then I got a water bottle and gave him a little mist when he whined and no more whining... you might give it a try.
love all of the pictures. And hopefully your Channing dreams can return tonight.
Why is it that a man can sleep through anything? I used to be like that until I became a mom. Now every thing wakes me up. I hope you get some alone time with Tatum soon. And next time...foster a dog with a bigger bladder. LOL!!!
love the photos. especially love the one of Pat. typical man! my hubby conveniently falls asleep on the couch around 9pm and manages to sleep through all the night terrors, wetting of the bed, or vomiting fiascos. channing tatum is hotness on a stick. i think it is super sweet he married his co-star. they are in thailand right now, i think, on their honeymoon. take care and sweet dreams.
-Kiki
love the photos. especially love the one of Pat. typical man! my hubby conveniently falls asleep on the couch around 9pm and manages to sleep through all the night terrors, wetting of the bed, or vomiting fiascos. channing tatum is hotness on a stick. i think it is super sweet he married his co-star. they are in thailand right now, i think, on their honeymoon. take care and sweet dreams.
-Kiki
Oh my goodness, this gave me such a chuckle. Last night we had a one of the children come and crawl into bed with us. Hubby can sleep through anything. AmAzInG!! Isn't.
my son slept with us last night. and peed himself. fun times.
I don't miss these days at all!
I think I would of gone to stay at a motel! :)
Oh, the torture! Thank you for making me be grateful for the newly driving teenager today who doesn't wander in crying in the middle of the night. It's a trade-off, but mostly, I do get to sleep.
You. Crack. Me. UP! I could picture the whole thing. Probably because it has happened to me. I cringe at the thought of cleaning a shatty crate. That is why I am trying to talk myself out of buying the most adorable puppy in the world. I hope you get some better sleep soon. WE. MUST. HAVE. SLEEP to be happy mommies!
UGH! We have a new puppy... so I can totally relate. It's not the kids I'm up with, but the whining puppy - YEP!!!
why the hell do the men sleep through it, and then when you fill them in on the events of the night, they say something like, "i would have just stuck them both in their beds and gone back to bed myself!" okay honey, next time i'll do just that! ARGHHH!
I hate that cycle...drives me NUTSO!!! Hang in there :)
-->My husband would have slept through it all too and snored so loudly that I would have had to Whisper Yell Even Louder.
www.WebSavyMom.com
I got exhausted just reading this post... SIGH
My hubs too sleeps through the tantrums at night, until he hears the magic words, "GOD DAMN IT" that escaped the whisper yell. For some reason, those three little words cause him to wake up quickly, asking what's going on.
My youngest has not slept through the night since the day he was born. And still crawls into our bed...Hubs threatens to sleep on the couch, I just want to sleep. I'm tired of taking him back to his room only for him to come back in the amt of time it takes me to fall back to sleep.
And I have whisper yelled and cried at the same time. It does work.
ha!!!!! wow!!!!! i do not have small children but i have a bulldog who is like your daughters....he comes in about every two hours to see what i am doing.....DUH...trying to sleep. so up i get to take the dogs out....do not want any messes.....back to sleep and a fews hours later....same story........and yes the wonderful husband has NO idea anything is going on!!!!! because.......he is SLEEPING!!!!!!
love your post!!!!!!
You and all the comments made me laugh out loud. Hilarious. Very fun post.
LMAO, love it. Well not really LOVE IT, love the way you layed that out lol. Been there done all that. Maybe you could put the dog outside in the crate? Maybe you won't be able to hear him if he's out there lol.
Next time this happens, let's chat on facebook throughout. God knows I'm up every hour nursing a baby.
I say let the kids sleep on the dirty clothes.
I don't know what to tell you about the stupind dog. I think he just wants your attention. Let him sleep on the dirty clothes too.
hahahahahhahahahahaa... And I was complaining about 1 wake-up last night. So sorry. This was painful to read.
Apparently, google has the answers. "Waking up at 2am? Get a full night's sleep. Learn how at getsomesleep.com" the ad says. Do you think they have anything in there about kids waking and dogs peeing??
And I wish someone would tell me HOW husbands sleep through all of that?!
When this happens to me, minus the dog whining but replaced with multiple kid whining, Jeff will wake up in the morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed and then looks over at me and asks, "Did you sleep good?" Usually I just smack him right there.
I totally feel your exhaustion. I am considering tying my kids to their beds. Wanna try it with me?
My husband could sleep through a tornado. It pisses me off.
I shouldn't have read this while at work!!
How come the husbands never hear any of what is going on?
If our 10 month old ever wakes up in the middle of the night I try and hold out on going to get her to see if she will stop on her own or to see if my husband will get up.
Thank the lord, she is a good sleeper!
Oh gosh..I hope tonight goes much better for you. I take it the people that visited Aries again decided NOT to give him a home?
I feel your pain but I was totally LMAO when you said:
As I stood there whisper yelling Maile completely stopped crying and just stared. Her mother standing in her doorway in a tank top and underwear, smeared makeup and crazy hair talking crazy talk...she just stopped.
Too funny. And how like a man to just sleep through it all!
Men have what is called "selective hearing". Now if you taught the kids to scream, "touchdown" instead of crying, then, your husband in his sleep induced haze may jump up to inspect.
As for Aries…she'd be wearing a diaper to bed at night!
Maybe the dog could sleep outside or how about in the garage and the girls could sleep together in the crate?
Or maybe the girls could sleep in the garage on a dog bed and the dog coule sleep outside in a crate?
Hey it might work! LOL
OMGoodness!!!
Put the dog in the crate outside.. and let hubby know he is in charge of making sure its cleaned up if there is a mess in there...
Buy some ear plugs and some over the counter sleep aid stuff... heck drink some nyquil..... then let the girls know that from now on... if they need something... they are to bug dadddy for it.
Put in ear plugs, take medicine, off to bed you go... lol... I have found from personal expierence...after about 3-4 times of ignoring them all so they have to rely on each other instead of you... (as in dad and kids..) that dad is a little more helpful in handling the situations....
Good luck and hope you get some sleep sooN!!
Oh, now, my friend, rest assured that Pat heard everything. But you had him locked in that little room with the couch pushed up against the door so he couldn't come out to help you.
Actually, we all know that he was lying there, pretending to sleep, and every time you stepped out of the room to whisper yell at his kids or foster dog, he snickered. And giggled. And reminded himself how EASY life is when you're a man.
so sorry. so sympathize. hope there is sleep soon.
Put that dogs crate where you can't hear him whining. If he does mess his crate take it outside and use the water hose on it.
Threaten death to the kids and have sweet dreams about your fantasy boyfriend.
If you don't then you may commit a serious crime of violence against your children and or the dog because of sleep deprivation.
Sounds just like my nights.
Minus the dog.
Oy.
Well, all I can say is THANK GOD PAT SLEPT ALL NIGHT!!!
Expletive, Expletive, Expletive!!!
(((Whew! I feel lots better now. ))
PS ~~~ hope tonite is better and that you get to spend some quality time with Tatum; you know, to make up for all THAT!
I can truly, truly sympathize! The only thing missing is the 3am serenade of Disney princess songs....(sigh!) I'm soooo over the Disney Princess thing!
The use of photos throughout your story made it much more adorable & hysterical!
~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/
Love the pictures! Helped the story. I dont think dogs will go to the bathroom in their crate. And, eventually he will get used to it and stop whining. I know the whining is practically unbearable... good luck!
I'm sorry for you. I know how not funny are whining dogs in a crate.
Hope you have a least not the children with you in bed.
I hope your nights get better too.
Wonderful story telling, I felt your pain along with your humor.
And your kids are adorable. They look like they could live over here.
AH, you have not trained your children yet.....I have mine trained to NOT wake ME up but to wake their DAD!! All it takes is a few times of biting their heads off when you are still asleep most of the way for them to QUIT coming to you for the middle of the night BS!! I do NOT like being woke up and most of the time I WILL bite heads off while I am still asleep. I don't remember doing it and don't wake up. Talking and yelling at people in your sleep when they try to wake you tends to send them running to someone else for their troubles. You might try that....even if you FAKE it!! LOL!!! As for the dog....most dogs will not do their "business" where they sleep, so you might be good on that part. Hope you get some sleep soon. Maybe a giant sleeping pill and a glass of wine will knock you into dream land so you can spend more time with Channing Tatum uninterrupted!!
Oh bless Pat's heart that he slept during this whole craziness while you were losing your senses..:))) he truly looks so peaceful..
You are too funny.. tough.. i know the experiences you were having right then were not funny by far at the moment..but i love the way you tell the stories..too funny!
Happy Wednesday!
Great story...now, why hasn't Ellen responded to any of your letters again??? I think another one is in order.
Awesome post. And, take it from me, a shat covered dog dog is nothing to be trifled with. It is at least 175% worse than a shat covered kid, possibly even more. It's always exemplified by the fact that the shat covered dog knows he's up to his neck in shat (both literally and figuratively) so he then behaves very skittishly making many erratic movements, thereby causing shat to be deposited in numerous undesireable places throughout your home and your person. SHAT! Nothing worse then trying to transport a huge, frightened, shat covered pooch through your house so that you can donkey kick him out the door. Nothing. So, beware.
Sounds like the night's I've been having with my five year old. He is scared of everything!
It is getting so old.
I feel your pain.
That's exactly why my kids are still in cribs with crib tents. Seriously! It will make a good look in college don't ya think?
ahahaha, that sounds like my house about 4 years ago. It will get better :)
oh how you must long for the days of yore...You know yore, right?
Yore getting sleepy.
Yore dreaming of having wonderful peaceful rest.
Yore considering sleeping on the couch instead of Yore Husband.
This is one of the best post I've ever read! Here's to hoping for better sleep tonight you poor thing!
As I neared the end of your hilarious post, I wondered: "where the heck was Pat?" And then you answered my question. MEN.
A good way to stop the dog from waking you all night is to put that crate in your room where he can see you, if he whimpers, then sternly say "NO" and whack his crate with a rolled up newspaper. Usually they whine in the crate until they realize that is where they are suppose to be and you did not abandon them. Try putting him in your room (in his crate) for two weeks. Then move him into your hallway, then further away. He should do much better for you. Best of luck!
This is so funny. My kids are bigger and we still have the issues. I had to run the 16 year old out of my bed this afternoon and last night I had to make them all go to bed at 2:30 so we could get some sleep! Good Luck!
Your girls are growing so fast!
Of course! The husband's always sleep. Why point out the obvious?
So sorry. I'm in need of SLEEP too. Thankfully, we don't have a dog. Thanks for reminding me that we don't need one.
OK....Perhaps I need to rethink the having kids thing. I like my full nights rest. :)
It's always 5 o'clock somewhere...
Crate the kids and let the Aries sleep on your bed!
Problem solved!
You're welcome!
OH MY! I literally was sitting here cracking up at this post. Pat's @$$ would literally be on that couch TOnite and that damn dog would be GONE!
The pic of Maile with her hands on her hips....priceless!
Oh and I hope you get some time with MR. Channing soon :)
Have you had to remove posts too? That makes me feel better 'cause I was just reading through your blog today thinking..."see she's funny, but not offensive. you can do it."
That was so well written and illustrated that I felt my head was spinning and I almost started screaming at the photos for you. Hope you get some rest soon.
You really know how to tell a story! I was cracking up and feeling your pain.
Ugh... I do not miss those days!!!
Is that chair directly in front of that door all the time? LOL!
HILARIOUS. This is like reading those kid books where you have the pictures in place of certain words. Cracked me up.
oh, and if the crate is the right size, dogs for the most part will NOT mess the crate.
Earplugs.
And mean mommy strategy #1: Make 1 peep, and you get a warning. Make a second peep and favorite toy a is taken away. Next peep and you lose toy b. And so on. The first night sucks, but ummm we have quiet nights around here, thank GOD :)
Good luck with that sleep thing!
I thought that only happened to me. As I type I am drinking a glass of wine...taking deep breaths and congratulating myself on not going ape-shit on my daughter.
Deep. Breath.
First of all, how is it that guys can sleep through anything? It's just not fair.
FINALLY! Someone with worse sleeping problems than me! It's nice to meet you!
Holy crap woman! The next time I think I'm having a bad night, I'm going to think back to this and hopefully that'll knock some sense into me.
Now if those geneticists could only pinpoint that "sleep gene" that allows men to sleep thru all that and somehow clone it for us women - we'd be all set!
It's only funny because it's not my story to tell :) Good luck with all of that crazy!!!
Okay. I'm going to tell YOU what I finally figured out for myself one hour short of a multiple homicide scene in my own home. Are you ready?
Your dog & your children have you extremely well trained. Your dog does NOT need to go out that often unless he has a medical problem. All you're teaching him to do is misbehave in his crate.
And in order to take good care of our children, we can't be insane. Not ever sleeping will eventually make you insane. Pop that girl on the butt (or just be very firm with her, whatever your parenting thing is) and tell her that you don't care how loudly she screams - she is NOT to get out of that bed. NO NAPPING for at least 3 days. She will eventually be too exhausted to keep doing this. I give her 3 nights or less before she quits this. She isn't really scared, I promise. She just wants to know mama is so wrapped around her pinkie finger that she can keep her up all night.
I spent 3 years doing what you just described. I had daily migraines, became unable to even function with simple tasks, and nearly ended up in the hospital. It wasn't pretty.
Oh. My. Gosh. I'm sorry Kathy - that just sucks. It's GREAT being a mommy... RIGHT?!?! (I hate it when my dreams with Channing Tatum get interrupted too... as if waking up in the dead of night isn't torture enough...!)
My husband's gonna loooove you! Because I'm hating him right now. Even though it's been months since he pulled an all-nighter.
Definition of all-nighter to a mother: your story. Defintion of all-nighter to a man: Pat's.
You take such amazing pictures! You need to teach me! :)
What a great story - you have a real gift. I could see it every step of the way. I totally understand about the hubby sleeping thru the whole thing. It happens in my household too!
You poor thing. Some advice for the dog. Let him whine. I know it's hard to sleep with a whining dog, but he'll get over it. Trust me. I love dogs so much that we have 3 and they have all spent their time in their cages. As for the girls, let their ugly buts sleep in the same bed and stay up all night talking, that way they will take a nice nap the next day and you will have more computer time! There ya go. Hope that helps! :)
It may be waaayyyy too late for this, but when we were crate training our puppy I put a towel over the front of his crate so he couldn't actually see what was going on. He completely stopped whining. I was shocked but pleased, So, maybe you could give that a try.
I got nothing on the kiddos sleep stuff. Mine is in my bed by about 2am every.single.night. I love him, but I also love my sleep. It is a fine line. A fine line!
hahaaa!! the joys of mother hood!! i know the feeling!! but it's so much funnier when it's not me waking up! hope you get some sleep tonight!
That was too funny, Mama Kat!! Between the too late nighters and the whining dog, and the sleeping husband.....oh my! We're laughing with you not at you though. Because most of us have been there. Great post!
I think we have spoken as to how I feel about Tatum.. did you know he just got married? Yup.
I sleep all night long.
Just thought I'd share.
T
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