Two years ago today my stomach was turning. It was time. Time to go back. Laina's birth was difficult and it scarred me, but it didn't stop me from getting pregnant a third time. I knew I would have to face the doctors and the drugs and the pain again...but when the time came I was nervous and unsure.
Pat and I had decided to keep this pregnancy a mystery. I thought it would kill me not to find out, but I was really at peace with the decision. When we started our family more than anything I wanted sisters.
I had my sisters.
For baby number three it just didn't matter. A third sister would have been perfection. We made such pretty girls. Not to mention boys scared me slightly...however I knew Dads liked boys to fish with and what not, so I was not opposed to the idea of a son either.
It was a clear, sunny day. Pat and I drove to the hospital in anxious silence. I did not feel like having a baby. The day begged for a trip to the zoo or a walk at the pier. It was not a "time to have a baby" day.
I was excited to get the baby out, I was DYING to know what "it" was, I was THRILLED to be done be pregnant, but I knew my body and my body was SO not in baby birthing mode. Maile and Laina were each about 10 days late and I knew this baby was not done cooking.
Upon entering my room I was handed a gown and told to lay down on the hospital bed. The gown, the bed, the smell, the ringing phones, the bustle of the nurses...I felt queasy. This was it? We were really doing this?
My family visited for a while, but when the nurse started asking if I was shaved and what not, they took that as their cue to exit. We don't normally talk about the condition of our vaginas and they high tailed it out of there to avoid hearing more.
And then it was time. They wheeled me to the operating room, I was greeted by a beautiful man who goes by the name "anesthesiologist" and the fun began. I couldn't believe how relaxed everything was.
A radio in the corner of the room quietly played soft rock. A couple assistant doctors discussed car trouble. A nurse inquired about my comfort level. Pat held my hand. And I just took it all in.
What an unreal experience. So unnatural to feel someone tugging at your insides. My body felt like it was trying to hold on. Like it knew it wasn't ready yet. Like the baby didn't want to come out. But come out it did.
The doctors held it up. Pat smiled and started to cry. The nurses wrapped it in a towel.
me: Well what is it!?!
A boy!!! My boy!! He was beautiful and perfect and I was instantly in love. I survived my difficult moment. And I survived the next few difficult moments when I felt like throwing up. And the moments after that when he ate around the clock. And the moments after that when he kept me up all night long.
I've survived all the moments of him curled into the crook of my arm. I've survived every wet and slobbery kiss he has attacked me with. I have survived his adoring stare. I have survived his funny baby run. I have survived his easy laugh and silly grin. I have survived his pouty lips and his angry stomp. And I have survived every crazy little boy moment he has thrown at me thus far.
He's my little boy and I'll happily endure any difficult moment he brings to my table just to call him mine. Although I must say he makes it pretty easy to "survive" by being so dang sweet and lovable.
Happy Birthday Mister.
Now it's your turn!
Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back and sign Mr. Linky. For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!
The Prompts:
1.) Tell us about a "dirt cheap" you've taken this summer.
2.) When I grow up I want to be like...
3.) Describe a difficult moment that you survived.
4.) List 5 things you like to do while camping...or 5 places you'd like to go.
5.) What are you paranoid about?




















82 comments:
I noticed you posted and then changed to another post. I thought the original was funny in places - you should have done both {*grin*} After all, paranoia just grows unless exposed.
What a great post. I have all boys and I had to laugh at "wet and slobbery kiss" That has GOTto be a boy thing.
:)
I am so excited and thrilled that you and I have posted about very similar things, our own difficult time. I so enjoyed reading your story.....
What a beautiful post. Happy birthday to your little guy
There is just something about a son. Happy Birthday, Little Guy!
Girls are great, but there's something extra special about the bond between a mom and a son (and not in that Mother / Norman Bates way, either).
I hope his birthday rocks!
I hope that he has a wonderful birthday!!! (I can't remember if you decided you were changing your kids names or not so Happy Birthday!!!! I love your photographs you and your kids are so photogenic!!
Don't go making me clucky god damnit! I was so happy with my one son, my chocolate and my bourbon. Beautiful post as always.
That was such a beautiful look at your little boy!
Nice photos! And, happy bday to your little dude!
Thankyou for that post. I may cry. After two easy natural births I am about to have a very surgical one. I am terrified. Absolutely terrified (there is a higher risk of a few horrible things with my particular complication too.)
How refreshing to read a story about a relaxed and fun caesarean birth. I really hope mine will not be too stressful, I hope many things right now.
PS I'm still terrified.
That was such a great post, Kat! Great pics, too, by the way!
You look way too gorgeous to have just given birth in that picture. I really kind of hate you. But I loved this post-- I never, EVER wanted boys AT ALL, but am so very grateful that I've got them. I couldn't love them any more.
What a sweet loving adorable post ... and as usual, the photos are fantastic! But really...can you stop looking so peaceful and serene and pretty in all your photos -- even your birth ones?
Great post. Beautiful pictures. I chose a prompt for each of my blogs. Hope you enjoy them. Have a wonderful day and take care.
-Kiki
Happy Birthday Mr. K.(I don't remember where you landed on calling the kids by their names, so I'm sticking with a K!)
I adore that pic of you looking up at the camera holding him. All glowey & proud.(or high and confused)
The most awesome post...EVER! Happy birthday to your little man.
Lovely post! Happy Birthday to your little boy!
I had two boys first and then a girl and I feel complete. Although I have thought about wanting a sister for my daughter. I just dont know if I want to be pregnant again.
And if I had three boys......well....they might have to send me away to the loony bin.
You always get me teary eyed. I don't like it.
You looked beautiful in the picture of you holding K (I'm with Lace-don't remember what you decided on). And that was like what, 3 seconds after he was born? I don't like it.
It's with this in mind, that I ask you to please post a 'just woke up'picture of your self. And make it a hair askew and sleep in the eyes shot. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Soxy Deb
It was a beautiful post Kat. And that lil boy is enough to melt the candy coating off my m&m's. :)
What a testament to your baby boy! (You've also given me hope that if we decide for a 3rd - we can have a boy! We have two girls now too!)
Happy Birthday Little Man!
~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/
I too feel very fortunate to have two daughters, but I also dream of having a son one day. I only have sisters and don't know anything about sons or brothers, but I think it would be an amazing experience to have a son.
Beautiful post :)
What an awesome and perfect post. I love it! *sniff*
This was (is) quite possibly the sweetest thing ever! Having just had a little boy, your words went deep :)
What a sweet post! Happy birthday to your little man :)
Ok so that just makes me want to cry!!
Wyatt's bday is this weekend can I hire you to write his birthday post? You make it sound so much better than I ever could.
Oh and you totally suck for looking SO cute all preggo and in labor!
WHAT? You had a post about paranoia and changed it? I'm getting paranoid.
Hey, I'm proud of you. When I first started doing the Writer's workshop a few months ago there were only like 10 people doing it. Today I get on here and there are already 35. I take some credit for this. My ever popular blog is just driving the traffic to your blog and encouraging people to do your workshop. Pay me later.
What a great post. Happy Birthday to your sweet boy!
It really is strange having someone rearrange your insides. Tugging really is the best word for that surreal feeling. Kind of makes me queasy right now! :)
AWE! That was precious. Now I know why you married your husband...look at those beautiful babies.
So did you just not have stretch marks? that picture with you and the girls is precious. I would LOVE one like that but...it ain't gonna happen.
I love birth though...must be why I dont mind having so many. a C-section just seems so scary to me...but you looked like you didnt mind it. LOL. Usually the moms look so scared.
Wow you made it seem so magical and peaceful and wonderful! You'll have to read my survival story LOL But then they told me he was healthy and beautiful and 9lbs 9oz....and I went NO WAY! And it wasn't until after the barfing and I could finally sit up that I had all those magical, beautiful, wonderful moments!
I definitely think you need to repost the paranoia post - if it had to be pulled down it must be great. ;)
Seriously, I hope I look half as good as you in my hospital pics.
aww that was sweet. I hope he has a great Birthday :)
I love the pictures, especially the first one of you all pregnant with your girls. I have to admit--before I read the post, I had the thought--she's pregnant and didn't tell me?!
EXCUSE ME!!!! I don't appreciate crying before 7:00am....Can we please keep the beautiful, emotional posts with the stunning, touching pictures for later in the afternoon?
Your loyal reader,
Katie (aka Kekibird)
I am so glad you got him! He is perfection : ) It all sounded very painful and grim until the anesthesiorligitsdfknwi man came. I will love that man to. And no, I couldn't spell it, so I just typed that big long blunder in hopes of looking cool.
Awww, sweet baby boy! Happy birthday K!
aww how sweet! Such a great story & great pictures. Wow! Happy Birthday lil man.
Oh my gosh... this post really made me cry... so beautiful. Waah. Loved it. Truly. Amazing.
By the way, I want to do at least 3 of these prompts, just not sure if they'll all get done today!
That was a beautiful story. And you DO make beautiful babies!
I a SO with you on that not fully baked thing. And the weird feeling of planning the birth date and surgery. I regret now not making them let me try a VBAC and wonder how much of her issues are because she was a C-section.
But you have such great photos and beautiful memories! Happy Birthday, little boy!
Happy Birthday to your sweet little boy!
Happy Birthday to your little guy. I'd take more boys any day. They are so much fun even when they are spitting in your face because you ask them to pick up the 53 Batmans they have laying out on the floor. Ah, baby boys..gotta love 'em.
Wonderful post!
that is the sweetest story! Thank you so much for sharing and your son is BEAUTIFUL!
Aww. Such a sweet story {at least the way you wrote it!}. Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!
That was beautiful. Here's to surviving and Happy Birthday to the one who makes it all worth surviving!
what a beautiful story! and umm..hello, who looks that good when they are laying on the OR table? you suck! :) xoxox
Hello Dear Niece,
It is my baby Matt's 30th birthday today and you have made me cry!
I love you, you have such a gift.
Auntie Di
You have a beautiful family and a boy was definitely a good thing. I have all boys (3), the first are twins and then there's my nearly 4 year old. They are such fun creatures and their perspective on life is so much different than girls, both genders being hilarious in their own way.
awwww how sweet!! and i love love love the pictures!
Awesome post. My friend recently had her baby. They induced and still little Logan wasn't coming. They tried again. nothing. after 3 days in the hospital they final did a c-section. She says it was all worth it. I'll take her word for it...for now.
I think it's cool that you didn't find out the sex. I've told everyone when i have kids i don't want to know. They laughed. But i think it would be awesome.
Beautiful post. I love the pictures of his sweet newborn face.
Such a sweet post! Happy birthday to your little guy!!
Great post...VERY CUTE kid..happy birthday little cat.
Gosh, I don't know if I'm just emotional right now or what, but I'm crying reading that. Can't wait to have those moments with Rich!!
Oh! :*) So sweet...
Happy birthday to your beautiful boy!
That would be SO scary! The thought of giving birth makes me nervous anyway - I can't imagine how scared you must have been given your previous circumstances! Glad everything went okay and you ended up with a cute little dude. :)
I finally linked up just now - I accidentally linked to your Bachelorette post 1st - oops! I couldn't see how to delete it though?
I love the black and white photos!!
*winces*
I will leave this labour to you professionals!!!
I don't think enough people understand just how amazing giving birth really is. I am glad many choose that prompt.
Happy birthday, Kainoa!!! Gosh, he's just so cute, Kat.
And seriously, your pictures are always so beautiful!
"How cruelly these tiny fingers grip my heart."
Hugh G. White III
This brought tears to my eyes. I didn't know your third was a c-section. I'm scheduled to have #2 via c-section (not my choice) this Nov.
Sorry, been absent from WW for awhile.. blogging in general. I'll get back on the bus soon.
I was a lucky gal and had completely uneventful births for both my babies. However, my best bud had some scary moments, but it all worked out for her as well and she has three beautiful daughters. My hats off to you girls!!
Those pictures! GORGEOUS. Happy Birthday to your little man. Your family is breathtakingly beautiful.
Aw, what a sweet story. I love the pictures! Happy Birthday, Kainoa!
I love birthing stories! :D
That's such a sweet post with beautiful pictures.
That was so sweet. And you do make beautiful babies! (Well, you and Pat.)
This is such a beautiful post...
Beautiful post! Beautiful pictures!
Happy Birthday to your sweet Kainoa!
A boy! This is such a heart-warming, perfectly timed post for me to read, because I have two girls and I have been trying to keep my baby fever at bay. I cannot be craving a baby boy yet, not with the overweight situation and with the overseas move coming up! But your post may just have gotten my baby dust deflector stuck.
Awww, wish I could have met him!
That post brought tears to my eyes...it feels like just yesterday my little guy was born and I clearly remember the fear and the joy! Thank you for sharing!
Oh Mama Kat, you really are a wonderful mama!
what a sweet story!!! Thank you again, for Writer's Workshop!
This is so fun!! Can't wait to see what you come up with next. I am so wanting my blog to be as great as yours! :)
That was really beautiful! I hope that he has many happy healthy birthdays to celebrate!
You look beautiful, the photos are beautiful and your story is beautiful.
Happy Birthday to your little man.
Happy birthday to Kainoa! That first picture of the girls lovin on your preggo belly is adorable!!
great post, I also have two girls and a boy and ohhhhh my boy! I adore them all but he is just something else!
But you never said what soft rock tunes were playing while you were lying there, birthing...
COME ON, Kathy. I need these details.
And y'all are some beautiful people. Oh yes, you are. All 4 of you. Wait...5. Didn't mean to leave out Pat.
I'm trying to catch up on comments...this was an amazing post, and a great story. You are totally brave for going it again after having such a scary experience the previous time. Kainoa is just adorable, and the maternity picture with you and the girls is just precious. :)
Aww that was great! We tried documenting my sisters birth but it didn't turn out as artistic . :/
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