me: So what do you do when all your kids grow up and leave the house. I mean, I cannot even imagine. Who AM I without my kids?? And how will I stop myself from following them wherever they go and tying their shoes and fixing them breakfast? I can’t let them leave…what if they make poor decisions? What if they need comfort? What if they’re mistreated? How will they survive without me? How will I survive without THEM!?!?! WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOOOO!?!?!
mom: (smiling her knowing smile I so often receive as I continue to ramble)
me: I mean right now it’s ALL about the kids…I’m all consumed with how well they’re growing, what they’re learning, how much they’re eating, how good they’re sleeping…how can that possibly change? What kind of life IS there beyond kids? I wonder if you just find new hobbies. Do you start spending more time with your husband again? Do you become a cat lady?
mom: (a loud cough).
me: Maybe volunteer at a local elementary school or library? Maybe you become a librarian?? Do you start going to IHOP for the early bird specials?
mom: (more smiling)
me: I guess I’m just so IN right now that I can’t possible fathom being out of it….
mom: (still smiling)
me: (thinking….) Unlessss……..the sweet cute adorable 4 year olds eventually turn into obnoxious and difficult teenagers who increasingly gain control of their own lives and start making decisions for themselves that you may or may not agree with, but they prove they can survive without you and they’re not so cute and needy anymore, but instead are rebellious and independent and you just kind of can’t wait for them to get OUT of your house.
mom: (Nodding emphatically. She may as well be clapping and jumping up and down).
me: Oh. Well then. Thanks Mom!! I always feel so much better after talking to you.