I understand as The Wife I am supposed to know where sh*! is and I should always help find said sh*!. I’m supposed to keep The Home clean and The Husband needs matching socks and fresh underwear and somewhere cozy to watch the football game.
I understand as The Mom I’m supposed to wipe snotty noses and dirty bottoms. I’m supposed to keep The Children happy with activities and keep them on schedules that reinforce said happiness. They need attention and baths and exercise and fruit snacks.
I understand that as Wife and Mother I am expected to be the primary caregiver in this household. I provide hugs and kisses and all kinds of nurturing crap that makes everyone feel good and the world go round.
I understand that by saying “I do” I was saying good-bye to bowls of cereal for dinner and hello to providing healthy and well balanced meals for my family.
I don’t know how or why anyone thought giving me these duties was a good idea, but alas they are mine and I will wear my Queen’s crown with authority.
I will exert my power by telling people what they should and should not be doing at all times.
I learned this weekend that when The Husband tells you “we’re having dinner for my sisters on Sunday” what that means is “you better whip some sh*! up for my family to eat.”
Because if you don’t. And they come over. And six o’clock rolls around…there may be some awkward silence as people scan the room for something to eat only to find there is nothing.
You may or may not feel responsible for said awkward silence and you may or may not feel like blaming The Husband for not explaining to you that when he says he’s having guests over for dinner it means YOU better whip some sh*! up for his family to eat.
Instead of getting hostile about it, however, chalk it up as a lesson learned and tack it on to the list of duties you’re expected to perform as Wife and Mother…even though you never asked for, nor particularly desire said list of duties.
You’re The Wife and Mother.
…now go stitch some shit together.