I received an offer from Bally’s to renew my subscription for 89 dollars to last an entire year. I haven’t worked out in about nine months so Pat discouraged the renewal from the get go.
I wasn’t so sure though. 89 dollars is REALLY low. That’s a monthly fee of roughly seven dollars and forty cents. Not bad at all right!?! I mean who knows…maybe come January I’ll want to pull myself together and get healthy again.
I’ll go to renew my membership and it will be a ghastly 25 bucks a month and then I’ll be all mad that I didn’t renew it way back when they were begging for me to come back for just 89 dollars.
Yesterday was the last day to take them up on their special offer so I called Pat:
me: Hey, What time are you gonna be home because I’m gonna go work out tonight when the kids get picked up.
The response I received was high pitched laughter…like a little girl…cause that’s how Pat laughs.
me: Come on now….what’s so funny!?!
pat: You! Thinking you’re gonna workout….
me: I AM!
pat: Yeah right.
me: No seriously, I have to because the deal expires today.
pat: You’re just going to flush 89 dollars down the toilet?
me: I’m NOT flushing it…I’m really gonna start working out sometimes.
pat: Okay Kat. You go workout then.
me: Okay. And hey! Thanks for your vote of support in this, it really mean a lot.
So I went to workout. Yoga pants, white tank layered with a grey, Ipod and Britney. I paid my 89 bucks. Gimme More. I jumped on the treadmill. Just Like A Circus. I ran. Kill The Lights. I cooled down with a brisk walk….and here’s where things started going south.
The treadmill is dangerous. I’m just gonna put that out there right now. The treadmill is freaking dangerous. Just one slip up and you’re flying off the end of that thing in a very un-lady-like manner. That’s not what happened to me, but it’s a very real possibility.
Last night while straining to see Larry King interview Jaci Dugard’s step-dad I lost my footing. Being the once upon a time wannabe athlete that I am, I quickly regained my composure, but not after some loud stumbling. I decided I was cooled down enough to go ahead end that work out and hopped off.
As I descended the staircase to partake in some sit-ups I was feeling pretty darn good.
Pony tail swinging, a bounce in my step, I was feeling skinnier already! Unfortunately I was so absorbed in my thoughts about myself that I mis-judged the number of stairs I had left to descend and, being the once upon a time wannabe athlete that I am, I rather gracefully tumbled down the last two or three stairs.
And that’s when I heard the voice of God: Not so cute in your black yoga pants and layered tanks when your doing somersaults down the stairs now are you!?!
No God. No I am not.
I quickly pulled myself to my feet and decided “hey yeah, so I think I’m done with my workout today…” and I gingerly escorted myself back to the ol’minivan.
pat: How did your workout go?
me: Yeah, so I sprained my ankle.
pat: What!?!
me: *cough* It doesn’t hurt that bad, but um…*cough* ahem…it’s sprained.
pat: What did you do!?!
me: I fell down the stairs.
pat: What!?!
me: I know! I know. I fell down the stairs. Will you ice it for me??
pat: What do you mean you fell down the stairs?
me: You know when you’re looking ahead and thinking about something and you think you’re at the last stair, but really there’s like three more left?? That’s what I did. I thought I was at the end and then just toppled down the rest.
pat: Wow. Unbelievable. You just spent 89 bucks on a sprained ankle. Girl you better go and get your money back.
I’ve been hobbling around ever since. And you know what makes matters worse!?! It’s that my thighs are KILLING from the stupid 20 minute run.
I’m never working out AGAIN!