Writer's Workshop: Man That Sucked *edited to add*

4.) Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.

You know that feeling when you say or do something that you just wish you could rewind and take back? And then you think about it years later and physically just want to shake your head hard and try to think of something else? I wouldn't say I have moments like that often...but I've definitely had my share.

I played club volleyball throughout high school and went on to play college ball with a majority of my club teammates. We spent hours and hours of our time together. I was in the best physical shape of my life...3 mile runs were our daily warm ups before practice started. I ran a mile in less than seven minutes. I could jump, I could dive, I could hit, I could block. Our team was undefeated...ranked 14th in the nation at one point...and then we cracked.





Totally fell apart.

We had been predicted to win championships and we lost out on the first day of the tournament. I don't know what happened that day...it still doesn't sit well with me. But I know what happened to me. My mind was elsewhere. My step dad was terminally ill and though I couldn't see it then, looking back I realize what a distraction that was for me.I left school at the end of that year and enrolled myself in a four year university my junior year. I missed playing and I was confident I could play volleyball again. I was determined to end on a better note. I knew I could play at the level of this university. I knew I could be better than some of the returning players.

I went to the coach and nervously asked for a chance. He invited me to tryout and practice with his team for a couple of months. There were about eight of us new girls trying out. And the practices were ridiculous. I was in horrible shape...gasping for air as we completed vigorous cardio workouts. The returning team members were not extremely friendly. They had played together and known each other and I was competing for a spot to replace one of them.

My sarcastic jokes fell on deaf ears. They didn't think I was funny. So I didn't really talk at all. One by one the girls trying out with me started quitting. There were two of us left and the coach joked to everybody about how we were all dropping like flies. We couldn't hang.

I knew I was not doing well. But I felt like if he would just keep me on and give me a chance I could prove myself. It would take more time to get in shape again, but I could do it. I could be a leader. I'm not the type of person to involve myself in activities I might fail in. If I'm going to commit myself to something than dang it, I'm going to succeed.

He posted the cuts on his door and I absolutely did not want to find the results. If my name was not on the door than I was not on the team. The last thing I wanted was for him to catch me scanning that sheet and then call me in to his office to talk. *cringe* *shudder*

So I made my best friend do it for me. I instructed her exactly where to go and what to look for...when she returned she confirmed my fears. My name was not on the door. I had failed. I had committed and failed. I wanted to be the best, I believed I
could be the best...but I was the worst.

I was that girl.

Man that sucked.

*edited to add*

My sister...who happens to be the families all star athlete...who played on an all star soccer team with a full scholarship at the rival university I attended...who was one of those all star returners with a secure spot every year...just read this post and emailed me this:

"You were THAT girl in college?? I forgot you had tried out. And now having played and remembering those girls from come and try out, it's dawning on me that THAT was you... and yes we were not warm and welcoming, and no their jokes weren't funny. i think in all my 5 years we picked up one girl, so don't feel too bad."

Seeeee....so it wasn't just ME that got cut....we were ALL bad.

Now it's your turn!

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back and sign Mr. Linky. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Describe something you're proud of.

2.) Tell me your most humorous wedding experience

3.) 10 reasons why you can't sleep at night

4.) Describe an experience that you wish you could shake from your memory.

5.) Write a love letter to the object of your affection.