I thought she would forget she had excused me from circle time to remove my coat.
I stood in the large closet of my Kindergarten classroom and wanted to sink right into the floor. If I could just be a tile on the floor…if I could wish myself into something else…than I would not have to take off my coat.
Mom and I had really battled it out before school that day. “You WILL wear it, now PUT IT ON!” she yelled. “But I don’t LIKE this SHIRT!” I yelled back.
Her arms were stronger than mine and that’s what put me in the uncomfortable predicament I was in. Those forceful arms and that frustrated motherly scowl. I tried to blend in with the other kids, but my teacher spotted me right away…sitting there on my carpet in circle time…the only kid with a coat still on.
“Kathy??? Please come out of the closet and join us for circle time…” my teacher sang.
Dammit!
She remembered.
Slowly…..ever so slowly I unzipped my puffy pink winter coat.
“Kaaaathy????”
Oh for crying out loud lady!!
I realized I had no choice. I would not turn to tile that day. I quietly cursed my mother as I slipped one sweaty arm out of each sleeve and than took one small step out from inside the closet (that’s not foreshadowing by the way. I’m not a lesbian…though somedays I wish I were).
I closed my eyes. Waited for the laughter that was sure to follow when my five year old peers looked down to discover that I had come to school dressed in a Michael Jackson Thriller cropped t-shirt complete with fringed ends.
My teacher took one look at me and knew why I had been hiding in the closet for so long. “Please have a seat Kathy.
I slunk over to my carpet and secretly vowed to one day humiliate my mother the way she did me, when the long arms of her law could not reach me.
Because little is more humiliating than looking like Michael Jackson in front of your entire Kindergarten class.
Seemed only natural to post one of the best 11 seconds of my life I’ve ever recorded to the song Thriller with this post. Enjoy. Again.
{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
Stopping by from SITS and wishing you a HAPPY TUESDAY! I hope you had a good christmas and I wish you all the best for the new Year :)
hahaha very funny post and I can totally relate. OMG if I had a dollar (or dime for that matter) for everything my mom dressed me in bizarre 70′s and 80′s wear not to mention the hot bowl cuts I would be a millionaire. Have a great day! Tammy
Oh honey I WORKED the bowl cut! Looked exactly like both of my brothers. Maybe we should stop being upset about it and START bringing it BACK!
On our kids of course.
My mom expected me to dress in frilly UGLY (in my opinion) dresses every day for school. I had a closet full of them (this was back in the day when girls weren’t allowed to wear pants). I hated every single one of those dresses.
When my mom was in the hospital, I was in first grade. My dad got the job of getting me dressed for school.
Later that night, during visiting hours, he told my mom that I should only own two dresses…then the fight wouldn’t last so long.
Poor dad.
I bet your Thriller moment has made you a different mom – your daughters won’t be wearing stuff they dislike to school, now will they?
Ahem…no of course not…I would…ummm…never do something like that to them.
Maile is just like you with the dresses. I don’t get it…she used to love them and now she won’t touch a dress. Kind of like me and rice pudding.
I fear for my children if God forbid Pat become the sole caretaker. *shudder*
Hilarious! Best of all I had an MJ Shirt complete with fringe. I thought I was soooo cool! Thanks for the laugh this morning, I needed it!
My mom actually purchased clothes for me from grocery stores – she came home with a $4.00 pair of brown sneakers called “Nado Super Primo.” In recent years (about 3 years ago), she purchased a pair of corderouys for me called “Big Yanks.” I can’t make this stuff up!
I love Big Yanks….never seen the pants though.
When I was four my mom got my hair permed and made me wear a kilt thing (with full shoulder piece) for a portrait and then hung it on the wall for all to see for about 20 years. Sigh….
I LOVE your mom in that video! lol
Oh my gosh…a kilt! That is just too good to be true!! The best I can do when it comes to portraits is that in 2nd grade my Mom put me in a vest and bow tie.
I really was a boy wasn’t I?
And my Mom is stinking hilarious….she busted out dance moves like that randomly throughout my childhood. What a dork.
And yes. I do it too.
I’m so glad my momma didn’t dress me funny.
Sadly I dressed myself in Michael Jackson wear. And even more humilating Hammer pants. As in MC Hammer. {hangs my head in shame}
If you were a lesbian you might have a better shot at being on the Ellen Show!
You think I haven’t thought of that! I did offer to make out with a woman on the show…can I be a lipstick housewife lesbian for a day? Does that still count?
Giggling and snorting over that video!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love the video.
I had a similar situation with a muff (that sounds so wrong, but isn’t that what those things back in the day that you wore to keep your hands warm were called?) in kindergarten. Sigh.
Hahaha…yes ear muffs I do believe. Funny I bought Maile one and she refuses to wear it. Kids are so frustrating. It’s totally cute.
I actually WANTED a fur muff when I was little! I remember seeing white “fur” ones in the JC Penney catalog and they looked so fancy! Of course, they look a little silly if you aren’t riding in a sleigh….
I did too! I also wanted one of those hand ones where you stick both hands in…perhaps I wanted to be a 1920′s Christmas caroler?
Dying laughing over here!!! What in God’s name would possess your mom to make you wear a MJ tee shirt?? LOL. I also had battles over clothes when I was young. I wanted to wear strange stuff or mismatched stuff and mom wanted to dress me in my prissy cousin’s hand me downs (which looking back were really cute). I hated them. HATED. I would even refuse to get on the school bus. And many times I prevailed, lol.
PS- I had the crappy early 80s bowl cut, too. Why was such an ambiguous haircut so popular back then?
Oh I’m sure it was the only thing left that was clean or something…and MJ was totally in back then. She probably thought I’d be the hippest kid in the class. And let’s face it. I was.
I was in Wal-Mart the other day and heard a group of what couldn’t be more than 12-year-olds raving about Michael Jackson. I thought “wow, kids STILL love him”. I bet if one of your kids wore that shirt they would be told it was cool :) Oh, and I loooove the video :D
Wow..really, you have lots of getting back at mommy for that one I’d say! You poor thing. At least you lived to tell us about it.
LMAO!!! Too funny! I’ve actually had those moments of humiliation. Not so fun. I don’t remember having them in Kindergarten though. Although it wouldn’t have been Michael Jackson’s Thriller but maybe the Partridge Family or Brady Bunch. Oh how I feel so old. lol
OMG That is hilarious!! LOVE IT!
Thank God I went to a private school and wore a uniform….until I got home and while everyone else was wearing shirts with that little lizard on them…I had home made ones with hearts sewn on them where the lizard should go. I still to this day loathe those shirts!
I switched to a private school thank God. Uniforms were much easier to prepare for….although….were we supposed to wash those?
Anytime people do the thriller dance now I think of 13 going on 30….that video for the 11 seconds of length was hilarious! Is that your mom in there dancing?
Yep. Totally my Mom making a fool of herself. Love that woman.
lol that was sooo funny! thankfully I was always quite independent and my mum quite relaxed and was generally allowed to put whatever i liked!for school thankfully we got uniforms in Malta :)
Makes me wonder if Claire ever feels this way? But she is just going to have to get over it b/c she is the only girl and I am going to play dress up with her until her protests get too strong.
Oh and a lesbian, huh? ;)
I feel the same way about Kainoa…he’s done the pink pants…a cupcake tee….and a headband, but that one was HIS doing!
It’s not looking good for the little guy.
Look at you graduation from blogger! (Sorry I’ve been absent from bloggy land for like ever!) and thanks for the laugh today, I’m just blog hopping while I put off the house cleaning. You know how that goes! Maybe I’ll put my kids in private school!
It HAS been a long time! WP is where the party is at….for….wordpress users.
And believe me, you may as well just buy clothes your kids want to wear…the cost of private school will put in the poor house. Or keep you there. Whichever.
I once went to school with half my hair braided and the other half…not so much. I sported the halffro before salt n pepa made it look cool. I was so mad at my mom for having to work overtime and leaving my dad to do my hair and get me ready for school that day…I would have stood next to you thinking we can look weird together. :oP
My best, Lynn
*stop on by, I’m hosting a giveaway extravaganza this week!
the “halfro”…oh my LAWD you’ve got me beat. I’d take an MJ tee over a halfro ANY day!! Hahahaha! Poor thing.
Not to sound overly geeky, but I’m guessing that you are using CSS to make the menus work. I have done a lot with it, so if you need any coaching, just let me know.
Now the question is… did you get back at your mother??
Oh my poor Mom has been through the ringer. I think raising six whacked out kids is punishment enough for her. ;)
And you are overly geeky, but I love you for it. I have no idea what CSS is. My designer set up the menus and told me how to update the pages on each tab. She made no mention of CSS anything, but if I happen upon the mention of one I know who to turn to now.
Thank you for that clip. Pretty much just made my day!
Your mom. I love her.
Mine was a paisley dress in oranges and reds. It made me want to throw up.
I try very hard not to make mine wear stuff she doesn’t like, but it makes me so mad when she says she likes it and pulls the tag off, and THEN it turns out she hates it.
Uh oh, Mama Kat. I just left a comment that I can’t see now. This is a test.
Your mom. I love her.
Mine was a paisley dress in oranges and reds. It made me want to throw up. Now I wonder if I told my mom that AFTER she took the tags off and threw them away.
First, thank you again for the inadvertent blog help! Totally rocks.
Second, I laughed out loud through this entire post. Especially the “…somedays I wish I were.”
Can’t wait for the prompts! I love that idea!