I’ve been debating this choice off and on for months now, but last week I made my final decision. I pulled Laina out of preschool. GASP! And here’s why:
-30% of the time she cries when she has to go.
-70% of the time she goes begrudgingly and in an annoyed fashion.
-It’s been five months now and she’s NEVER happy to go to school.
-I pay $140 a month to send my daughter to a school she doesn’t like.
-I don’t particularly care for her teacher who doesn’t particularly seem to like children.
-Laina doesn’t seem to particularly care for her teacher.
-Communication is poor. I never know what they’re doing and she never comes home with anything other than letter worksheets. Gag me.
And
-Children are always in time out when I drop off and/or pick up.
I tweeted a fight with Laina last week that ended with me threatening to spank her if she didn’t get her act together and get in the car. We were already late. I had asked her a MULTIPLE of times to put her shoes on and she whined and carried on forEVER. My shining mommy moment came when I gave her two choices.
“You can either get your shoes on right NOW and get in the car or go to your room for the rest of the morning!!”
When she chose to go to her room for the rest of the morning I added in an extra, “FINE! Get in there and I’ll be up to give you your five spankings in a minute!!”
More crying ensued. She put her shoes on and for the duration of the car ride to preschool she sat curled in the fetal position with her forehead pressed against the window…whimpering.
I felt horrible and that’s when I made the decision. This isn’t worth it. I don’t want to fight her. I don’t want to threaten her. I don’t want to break her pretty little spirit. And I don’t want to feel like an a**hole of a mom.
So I pulled her out. Of course I’m afraid she’ll think she can always have her way if she complains loud and long enough. I’m afraid she’s not going to be ready for kindergarten, or that she’ll pull this same crap when we get to that point. I’m afraid she’ll be the only kid in the class crying to go home. We do circle time here for the daycare kids and I am dedicated to giving Laina her own private, more advanced preschool lesson…but I’m afraid she’ll be the only Kindergartner who can’t find Australia on a world map. …
I guess I won’t know until she gets into Kindergarten.
What would you have done?
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If it were a job that an adult felt that horrible about going to we’d all encourage the person to find a new job. Except kids are able to just do that, we as parents have to help them with that. You did the right thing, you listened to your instincts & the best thing about education is that there are LOTS of options out there. She can learn a ton at home with you & then you can look to what is the right fit for her next year.
Oh yea & I didn’t even go to Preschool & I’m now a big fat boring Ph.D. I think she’ll do just fine :)
Neither of my boys went to preschool and they turned out pretty good if I do say so myself. Well, except the stupid one (25), but I blame that on the gene pool from the other side. Not mine.
I think you made a good choice, not that my opinion matters. If they’re not really teaching her a hill of beans, and who knows if they are since you never see any work, then it’s a waste of money and lord knows we all need to pick our battles as parents. There will be much bigger battles on the horizon, this one seemed to need to be snuffed out so I think you done good.
My son did the same thing and made himself sick every morning.I had to get off work and take him to the dr on multiple occassions -at least once a week for asthma attacks. But I still made him go to K-5( He loved K-4) So he flunked K-5! Basically, every teacher said he had a learning disability(WRONG)He was a strong willed child who hated the teachers. I should have pulled him out and homeschooled.Hind sight is 20/20.
I enrolled him in private school for 1st -12th grades. He had great teachers and graduated with honors in high school & college and is now in seminary. He is a very responsible & kind person now. Moral of the story is trust your instincts. Try homeschooling and make sure your child has interactions with other kids or try a homeschooling network.
I think I would have done the same. Some kids just aren’t ready for preschool but are fine by the time they reach kindergarten. On top of that it sounds like her school was much to be desired so it’s no wonder she didn’t want to go. I agree that it was a good choice.
I probably would have done the same thing.
I’m so sorry… I know that was probably a really hard decision. I think you are brave to take her out. I must admit, many days I need a break from my kids so badly I’d be happy to send them to play out in the street if it meant I got 5 minutes of peace! (just kidding) so keeping Laina at home may be a little tougher but you’re probably right about it being the best decision. I hope you can find a good preschool for her next year.
One thing I would say, please PLEASE be sure to tell the school (in a kind and constructive manner) why you are removing Laina. That is the only way they can improve their curriculum and get better teachers. You will be helping future children so that they don’t get the kind of preschool experience that Laina got.
I’ve pulled Jake from pre-school/daycare situations before and though it pained me to have to find a new one, I did until we found the right fit. For me, a working single mom, I have to send him to a daycare, but finding one that worked with him was the goal. So we went through 2 before finding this one and I’m happy I listened to my instinct. He’s much happier and he’s learning. I hope my son learned that quitting isn’t an option but listening to your gut and finding a situation that fits best is an option. And I agree, let the school know, in a constructive polite way, why she’s leaving.
I’d have pulled her, too. There’s giving in because you are lazy and don’t want to put in the effort and then there’s knowing when something isn’t working and deciding to try something different. Don’t feel bad about it at all!
You know … I’m not a mommy. (Unless we’re counting canine kids and I don’t believe we are for the purposes stated in this blogpost.) However, I think you did the right thing. Kids are ready to do things at their own pace. Maybe she won’t go to Kindergarten until she’s SIX … *GASPS @ the HORROR of it all!* But seriously, when her friends are all going to school, and she’s the one left behind, we might have a much different scenerio going on! Besides … who wants to be in a class with a teacher who obviously has a hard time dealing with kids? I surely don’t!!! I think your relationship will grow because of this understanding! In fact, I’d bet on it!
Best and brightest blessings!
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