If you missed last night’s episode than you pretty much missed what could have been the most entertaining hour of the night. Jake is still a dork…I wish I could skype this because I would do impressions of all the people that bug me. Starting with Jake and his “aww golly gee guys were rilly gonna have some fun on this date.” and ending with Elizabeth and her request that Jake not kiss her until he’s ready to marry her. Someone came on the show with VALUES?? What’s that all about??
The best part is that she tried to be super seductive about it. When they had their one on one time she leaned in really close with her nose against his ear and was all “do you wanna kiss me? You do don’t you?? You wanna?? Uh uh uh (finger waving)” and then she’d back away and smile seductively and comment about what a great kisser she is in an attempt to make him want her even more. It was embarrassing. And then he kissed her forehead and she was all, “aww that’s nice…you can kiss my forehead all you want! Wanna makeout with my forehead!?!! Hehehehe”
Only it wasn’t funny. Just really weird.
Rozlyn was another strange one.
She’s a model and their group date was spent modeling for some pages of a magazine. The other girls were all “oh my gosh this is so exciting and new and different!!” and she was all “Oh…I model all the time…10 years now…”
She was a girl straight from some kind of creepy movie where the seductress lures the man in with her good looks and wit, but who intends on stealing a kidney or something.
The drama came when Chris Harrison pulled Rozlyn aside to tell her she was being kicked off the show for inappropriate relations with a producer. Rozyln batted her pretty little eyes and looked peeved. Jake found out and golly gee couldn’t believe she would do something like that. The girls cried because they’re stupid….I mean…because they didn’t like to see Jake hurting that way.
The good stuff comes from Reality Steve. This guy is great and somehow gets inside information about The Bachelor and spills ALL the secrets before they happen. Don’t go over there if you don’t want to know who he says is taking home the final rose. But before this drama with Rozlyn unfolded he had already posted the whole thing on his blog. And HE says that Rozlyn was upset because she has a 7 year old son she was told she was going to be able to speak to everyday and that ABC was not holding up their end of that bargain.
Not only that, they told her to wait to tell Jake about the boy, but then asked other girls in their individual interviews why they thought Rozlyn was hiding her son from Jake. One of the girls told Rozlyn about her interview and Rozlyn blew up. ABC did not like the trouble she was stirring and when they caught wind that she was being flirty with a producer they pounced on the opportunity to let her go. The producer in question admitted to falling for Rozlyn and was fired. Supposedly there isn’t any proof that the two engaged in ANY kind of physical relationship, but the way it all went down we are all led to believe there was something more. However, Chris Harrison (the host) is now saying it was INDEED physical over on his blog.
Regardless though, if you’re flirting with a producer or camera man or whoEVER when you’re on a show with hopes to marry the man your competing for?? Probably best you just go home to your son and find another kidney to steal back home.
So who did Jake send home?
He sent home Ashley (the teacher who dressed up as a sexy stewardess on the first night in an attempt to get his attention), Christina (the mean girl who brought parting gifts for the girls who were going home that first night), and Rozlyn:
He kept Vienna (still a filler), Ali (my personal favorite for him), Ashleigh (still a filler), Corrie (like her too), Elizabeth (not a fan on the ‘kiss me not’ scene), Ella (mother who boxes), Gia (like her too), Jessie (filler), Kathryn (I have nothing to say about her), Michelle (KooKoo), Tenley (sweet girl), and Valishia (filler).
I don’t think it can get any more dramatic than this folks…but here’s hoping.
If you did a Bachelor post link up!
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
You are right on with your descriptions of all of them! I can’t STAND Jake and so I’m having trouble with the season in general. I just could not care less who he picks because he’s such a LOSER! Oh, who am I kidding… I’ll be watching it until the very end.
Great recap!
Once again your post about the biggest dork on TV cracks me up! UGGGGHH I can’t take him and I every time I hear him speak I can’t stop wondering if he knows how to bring it in the bedroom. There is something about a guy that is too nice that I just know he is all super soft kisses and cheek touching and chin lifting and not enough bringing it…..ya know?
Another week, another wrap up…nicely done!
Sadie
I don’t watch the show so I am glad that you did this… you are hilar and I totes love the humor of it all.
Cheers~Ivy
I will be stopping by weekly for an update…. this is awesome!
Thanks for the expert analysis. I am going to write a Bachelor post, hopefully tonight. Will link up when I do. What tease Elizabeth is!
I have still yet to see Jake look really comfortable getting close to a woman. he gets all nervous and smiles and laughs inappropriately. I’m not sure how into it he is at times. I’m just sayin….
You are so right about the “fillers” that = girls he can dump later without being too Golly Gee about it! LOL. And I’m totally picturing “Marty Moose’s” voice from the Vacation movie as Jake’s Golly Gee voice. (I may have dated myself, I’m old).
I have not been able to get into it this season. you should do a vlog of the impressions ;)
i was not intending to watch the bachelor and then this whole “someone’s getting kicked off” drama started and i got sucked in. i’m such a whimp. anyway, i agree with all of your assessments. michelle is a total whack-a-doo. his date with ali just made me smile and smile and then cringe a little. it seemed a little awkward but i still really like them together. it seems to me, from the preview, that next week is going to be just as dramatic. when did this show go and get all morally correct? is jake really *that* great?
my, my… i so did not mean to get myself into this mess of a show but i think i’m hooked. damn it!!!
p.s. i saw on E! last night that apparently he forgot vienna’s name on the group date? *harharhar* i died laughing.
All this buzz in the blogosphere and Twitter makes me want to watch the Bachelor even though it has been years since I have.
I read reality steve also. I honestly don’t know how I watched this garbage before reality steve. He is absolutely the best part about it.
I LOVE The Bachelor and all the drama that goes with it. I do NOT love Jake, but your description of him made me laugh. And considering I have had the roughest day I’ve had in a long time and was in tears two seconds before I opened your blog, that’s no small feat. Can’t wait till next Monday. You write the best Bachelor posts EVA. ;)
Awww Gina I hope everything is okay!!
This is like the fourth recap I’ve read today and you are the first person to put pictures of the girls. Thanks. I don’t watch, but I like to read the recaps, and it really, really helps.
You’re kidding! People aren’t putting their faces on there? It’s the best part!! But it does add about 20 minutes to the post creation so maybe that’s why. I know most of my readers aren’t into this show, so giving a visual I think is important. :)
I haven’t allowed myself to watch this season. Since I have Desperate Housewives, House Hunters, Brothers and Sisters, Say Yes to the Dress, Modern Family, Cougar Town AND Private Practice all recording on a weekly (if not daily) basis, I figured I should give The Bachelor a break.
I DO appreciate your recap though. It’s so easy for me to get sucked in via Mama Kat!
Haha I wrote a post about it last night. It was definitely entertaining. And I definitely see Michelle getting arrested for stalking Jake in the future. Fuhreeak.
I’ve been waiting for this ALL day. Off to read!
Bwaa Haaa Haaa! This was great and so was the episode. And I mean a great as in a trashy, dumby girl episode.
Do you think Roslyn was really surprised. I’m sure the producers told her before hand, right? If I’d had been confronted on something like that I would have been a wreck and she was a stone. Hmmm?
That whole kiss thing pissed me off. She’s a b-otch. I hate girls like that. The Michelle girl is CRAZY although I’m secretly hoping that she goes wacko on the show for another fun, scandelous evening.
I do like Alli and it seems like he does too. He probably is in the top 3 annoying batchelors of all time, but he is nice to look at.
He is good looking I’ll give him that much.
If I were Roslyn I would have gone off on them IF the allegations were false…or IF I felt ABC had been screwing me over. I would not have left quietly the way she did. The least she could have done is provided us with some good tv.
Ali is my favorite too :) I think you’re right on about all the other girls.
I didn’t mind Elizabeth saying “don’t kiss me” but it bothered me when she was all “want to kiss me, I know you do” grrrr…..that’s when it bothered me.
Thanks for the update. I knew I could count on you to fill me in on what I missed.
Elizabeth was my fav until the no kissy thing. Weirdoooo. Well, not as weird as Michelle. WOW.
I’m so glad you wrote about the inside scoop with Rozlyn. I searched forevas trying to find the deets!
LOL! I watched and came away feeling the same way (although I LOVE Jake’s golly gee personality. )
Elizabeth grossed me out a bit trying to tease Jake with the kisses. You’re either a person with morals or you aren’t and most people with morals don’t use them to get something from someone. UGH! Just wrong!
I am such a closet Bachelor junkie! LOVED this post and totally agree on your descriptions of all of the ladies :)
I hope Ali or Gia are the final rose!
Agree, agree, agree!
He’s so picking Ali. Done deal.
Love your recap! Thanks for the inside info and the links to the other blogs! Think I’ll post my husbands thoughts about the show today and link up.
I just realized that my link up there is wrong. It links to a halloween post. …but, to be honest, it’s kind of like the same thing…right? ;)
Here’s the real link:
http://cloudnineandcounting.blogspot.com/2010/01/bachelor-your-plane-just-scandaled.html
Gawd, finally! What does a girl have to do to get a Bachelor post written around here?! I guess I have to fly out to your crib and watch you do it. What? Would that be weird? Like Michelle-I’m-gonna-end-you-if0you-mess-with-my-man weird? You’re probably right. Guess I’ll just have to continue to harass you via the World Wide Web:)
Hahaha…you know a girl has GOT to sleep around here! I blame Alecia. She lives in the boonies and by the time I get home from watching it at her place it’s midnight and there is no WAY I am starting a post at midnight. Fugedda about it.
I love that you do recaps, I can’t start watching until he’s cut all the crazies out. Until then I just feel embarassed for them.
The girls were probably crying because they couldn’t believe their luck that someone got cut from the show without having to be cut..by them.
Thanks for the update, still haven’t watched the show but I love reading your updates!
I liked Jake at first on Jillian’s season, then he just got nerdy and kindy whiny. This year, I like to watch him if he’s just standing there, looking cute, but when he opens his mouth, he ruins it! :)
I succumbed to the suspense and checked out Reality Steve. If he’s right, I’m going to be really disappointed. MAJORLY.
I watched this show for the first time.
Wow.
If “The Bachelor” was a McDonald’s value meal, I’d have to work out for like, three weeks.
Addictive. Junk. Hilarious.
And your descriptions? Spot on.
“The girls cried because they’re stupid”
You hit it right on the head. I was really baffled as to why THEY were crying as if something had been done to them and then I too realized they were just stupid.
And when is he going to get rid of that nutcase Michelle? She seems like the kind of woman you find standing over you with a knife. Not someone I’d want to be sharing a home with.
Thanks for the update!!
Seriously…and they couldn’t stand Roslyn so why weren’t they happy to be rid of the bad seed? Ridiculous.
And I hope he keeps Michelle around for a LOOONG time! She adds such entertainment value for me. :) Nutso.
I saw the drama on the news. And I agree with you, if you’re on a show to marry someone, you probably shouldn’t be flirting or anything with another man. So poof be gone to her. Even tho I do not watch the show, I enjoy your recaps.
I still don’t watch the show but I did watch the recap on E! last night and saw the whole dating-the-producer thing. Crazy!!
I swore I wasn’t gonna watch this season of the Bachelor yet I couldn’t help myself. It’s like a train wreck that I can’t turn away from. Jake strikes me as one of those people who acts like he’s humble, like he doesn’t know he’s good looking but you just know when he’s by himself, he struts around naked in front of the mirror smiling at himself.
My personal favorite is Ali too…I think he’d be smart to continue pursuing her.
So glad you are doing these again, because THIS TIME I am NOT watching. =)
Hahahaha, love it.
Did you read on Reality Steve what he said about Vienna? What do you think?
FIrst time I’ve watched in a couple of seasons. Talk about entertainment! My mother and I laughed through the whole show! You did a great re-cap and I’m glad to know it wasn’t “just me” who noticed these same things.
The kiss-me-not-girl was just a TEASE! (tasteless- and I’m all about restraint- but not when it’s fake!)
Funny that he said he chose her because of her values, but also chose Rozlyn….well, tried to, but her”values” got broadcast all over network TV!
Poor guy- he’s got his hands full!
I keep meaning to watch it, but you sum it up so perfectly, I don’t even need to : )
Great re-cap. Michelle is definitely coo-coo for cocoa puffs. There is no way in hell he’s interested in her. I’m sure she’s being kept strictly for ratings.
I think Jake is a knob. Easy on the eyes, but still a knob nontheless.
Should be lots of drama this season. So far so good! :)
LOVE your post! You find a great way to explain everything and I love it!
I finally had a chance to watch the end last night. I do NOT like “Kiss Me (Not), Kate.” I don’t think it’s values…I think it’s bitchiness.
Was glad to see Roslyn go. Even if she was just flirting, her mind wasn’t fixed on the prize. Jake’s abs. I mean, Jake. ;) (He is hot, you have to give him that…I think he’s sweet)
Psycho girl–can’t figure out why she is still there. Soooooo crazy.
I like Tenley, Corrie, and Ali…..
Wow, I’m kinda glad I’m not watching this season! I can’t handle all this trashy-girl drama! I think that is why I like “The Bachelorette” more than “The Bachelor.” I can handle one drama queen, not 20. Plus, I love the man drama. LOL!
Holy Moly! It was a crazy one fo sho! :) Vienna has that weird little head tick thing going on…have you noticed it? I think she’s gonna crack before too long.
Fun Recap! :)
But this is the Writer’s Workshop link up thing or not?
Did I got this right?
I don’t watch the show, but this was hilarious.
I don’t watch the bachelor anymore, but this was hilarious