February 2010

It’s Really Hard

February 28, 2010 · 44 comments

I was the first member of my group of friends to get pregnant. In fact, my friend Char and I popped out five between the two of us before any of our other friends even entertained the idea of children. She and I would call each other for advice, share stories of mischief, and confide our deepest moments of despair.

babies

The other friends were interested. As interested as single folks without kids can be expected to be, but we didn’t expect them to identify with anything we were going through.

They’d smile when we’d talk about the lack of sleep we were getting, “is it really hard??” they’d ask and we’d smile back, “ummm yeah. It’s really hard.”

babies2

They’d smile when we’d talk about the adjustment and new responsibilities, “is it really hard??” they’d ask and we’d smile back, “yes. It’s really hard.”

They’d smile when we’d talk about the tension we noticed as we worked with our husbands to determine who does what and the resentment that could easily build when one half feels like they’re doing too much, “is it really hard??” they’d ask and we’d smile back, “yes. It’s really hard.”

They’re all having babies now.

Baby J.

And now they know.

*insert evil laugh here*

Baby Kate

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Free Tilicum

February 26, 2010 · 104 comments

Hey I have an idea!! Call it short term brilliance, call it Jesus talking, call it what you will, but last night it happened. My brilliant idea.

How about if we stop allowing human beings to get into giant tanks with creatures that weigh over TWELVE THOUSAND POUNDS!!

Tilikum’s DORSAL fin is taller and weighs more than most grown men. Why are we getting into tanks with these creatures? To put on a show? I *kind of* understand the concept of learning about wild animals in order to keep them alive:

“The SeaWorld in-vitro planted, they can now take sperm and eggs and have a baby killer whale. Let’s say 20, 30 years from now, there’s 200 killer whales left in the wild. Let me tell you where we’re going to go: We’re going to go to SeaWorld and see what to do to save this magnificent creature. That’s how valuable it is for what we’re doing with research. I hear all these other people commenting with killer whales. Give me a break. Seaworld are the ones that know more about killer whales, and the millions of dollars they spend this rescuing whales is unbelievable. And we put them back out in the wild. So no one hears about this.”
(CBS News with Jack Hanna)

I understand that keeping whales captive and training them to put on shows attracts people like US who then pay money to see the show and a portion of that money goes back into whale research and rescue. Researchers have already figured out how to artificially inseminate female whales which means we can start doing that instead of plucking more whales from the oceans. Which is nice. I guess. But apparently the captive born whales do not live as long as the wild born ones. I wonder if that’s because they’re NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CAPTIVE. I don’t know. I’m not super smart. That thought just came to me.

Apparently we’ve been plucking whales from the ocean since the 60′s. Can you just imagine what we did to those animals knowing as little we did back then?

Read this:

Ted Griffin, owner of the Seattle Public Aquarium, had dreamed for many years of befriending a killer whale. Killer whales are the largest of the dolphin family, and he was convinced that such a relationship was possible. When Griffin heard of the captured killer whale, he jumped at the opportunity and bought the whale for 8,000 dollars, the cost of replacing the net. He named the whale Namu, after the town if its capture.

The main problem was how to transport Namu 450 miles from Namu B.C. to Seattle, Washington. He solved this problem by building a 60 foot by 40 foot by 16 foot deep floating pen that could be towed by boat to Seattle. The journey southward started in July 1965. When Namu was being towed southward he emitted various scream-like sounds and on the 4th day of the trip, 30-40 killer whales overtook the floating pen and seemingly tried to help Namu. They repeatedly charged the cage, but warned by their built-in sonar they stopped just short of hitting it. After several hours, most of the killer whales disappeared, all except a female and two calves. These three whales were probably Namu’s mother and siblings, and they stayed with Namu for 150 miles.
(Rock Island)

The idea of upsetting thousands of Orcas over the years by killing them, capturing them, “training” them, transporting them, and breaking up their happy families all for the sake of research so that IF they need our help surviving one day we’ll be able to save them strikes me as a little counteractive. In fact these whales tend to live much longer in the ocean: “The lifespan of wild females averages 50 years, with a maximum of 80–90 years.[37] Males become sexually mature at the age of 15 but do not typically reproduce until age 21. Wild males live around 29 years on average, with a maximum of 50–60 years.” (Wikipedia).  Wanna know how long captive whales live? “Captive killer whale lifespans are typically significantly shorter, usually less than 25 years, however there are numerous individuals in their thirties, and a couple in their 40s. In many instances, the lifespans of killer whales depend on the will of the animal.” (Wikipedia).

I don’t know about you, but I think the Orcas were doing JUST fine before we started poking our noses in their business.

I was shocked to learn that most of the 42 whales in captivity today were taken from the ocean at 2+ years of age. I guess I just thought they were all having babies in their tanks and we were no longer doing that. I don’t know what the laws are regarding whale capture these days, but Tilicum was two when he was taken and after three human deaths he’s clearly not happy about his new ‘life plan’.

I don’t have all the answers kids. I don’t think we can just toss 42 captive orcas back in the ocean….but maybe we can stop taking them out?? And maybe we should stop treating the ones that ARE captive like giant puppy dogs.

I feel awful for the trainer who was recently killed. I don’t think any of this was her fault. It’s not like she leaped into a tank with that massive creature. I’m sure the trainers love and respect the Orcas they care for, but something went terribly wrong. Warning signs and previous instances of aggressive behavior were ignored so that Sea World could put on a show. Horrible accidents happen, the trainers probably had established trust with Tilicum over the years, possibly justified his previous attacks, whatever the reason…something needs to change.

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What images inspire you immediately? Open a magazine and create a piece of writing (poem, story, essay) about the first image that captures your imagination.

Fixed.

I want to be better.
Plump lips, rosy cheeks, tan skin.
I want to be desired.
Tone arms, skinny legs, small waist.
I want to fit in.
Long hair, wide eyes, straight teeth.
I want to be pretty.
Wavy hair, perky boobs, sculpted brows.
I want to be fixed.

Now it’s your turn!

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back and sign Mr. Linky. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) 10 Reasons why you’re better off without him….or her….or it.

2.) Brea from Tomika’s Treasure Trove wants your advice: Quick question. I am new to the blogging world, having clocked up less than 2 weeks worth of posts, and I have just had an ‘Anonymous’ commenter slam me for blogging about my daughter, mentioning her by name, posting photos and up-to-date stories about her. I have not mentioned anywhere in my blog where we live, Country OR State, or what school she goes to. I have also seen, on several other blogs, that other parents do the same thing as me. Some even mention where they live. I was wondering, as a fellow blogger who posts about your family, what are your thoughts on the subject?

3.) “What images inspire you immediately? Open a magazine and create a piece of writing (poem, story, essay) about the first image that captures your imagination.”

4.) “Why do we watch them? Make fun of soap operas with a piece of writing.”

5.) Craft time! Do share.

Mama's Losin' It

Copy and Paste Code

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Tomorrow marks Maile’s 100th day of school and to celebrate she needs to count 100 items to bring to class.

She had her heart set on jelly beans and being the over the top parent  I am I scraped together the 100 dollars I was going to need to go into Target for jelly beans.

“How about m&m’s instead??” I said, hoping to snack on her leftovers while I watched American Idol.

But her heart was set on jelly beans. 100 jelly beans for 100 days of school. I don’t know why I don’t reward myself for every 100 achievement I reach.

In fact, all parents should probably be rewarded for the 100th day of school mark…who do they think is doing all this homework?? And can I say I had. no. idea. that kid homework is homework for parents too until Maile started bringing home these stupid packets that *I* have to make sure are completed and sent back every Monday. Not only do I have to forge my own signature saying we read everyday when we don’t (and I don’t care and we won’t start), but I also have to sit down and work through the most redundant, boring assignments I’ve ever lain eyes on.

I thought when I left school that I was golden. Gone were the days of “thinking” and “brain stimulation”. I didn’t know that I was going to have to relive these days.

Right now Maile loves school. She proudly filled her bucket and skipped off to school with 100 multi-colored (starburst flavored) treasures. This is all well and good. I’m relieved to know that my six year old can now count to 100. I hope she gets a certificate. After double and triple checking jelly beans per her request I am confident that I can now count to 100 hundred accurately and fairly quickly as well. Also a relief. I already knew how to do that thanks.

I’m thinking a letter to the PTA moms is in order. I’d like to request a party in the gymnasium where we can all take shots and high five each other for surviving the first 100 days of school. We will sing songs and play wall ball and chase each other because dammit if I have to relive the bad, I want the good to come with it.

WHERE’S MY CERTIFICATE!?!

100 Days Of School!!

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The Women Tell All is always the episode before the finale when the jousted women come back together for two hours of merriment.

The highlights:

Crazy girl Michelle was put in the hot seat to talk about how not crazy she is and how she doesn’t need therapy and she managed to insist on these things in the least crazy fashion possible, but we all still know she’s crazy.

Kissy face Elizabeth apologized for her kiss me now, kiss me not, teasing ways and admitted she wanted to slap herself too.

Gia, who was cut last week, was still freshly and visibly upset about losing Jake. She was classy and respectable and I want to have her babies…..or I want her to be the next Bachelorette…whichever seems more do-able. No pun intended.

Ali was the nicest since I’ve seen her. She too, seemed a little embarrassed by the way she behaved on tv and she apologized through the camera to Vienna for being mean to her.

Rozlyn was the girl who was kicked off the show for having an inappropriate relationship with a producer. She did a terrible job defending herself. She should have come on and just said, “hey I did it, we’re in love. I came here looking for love and I found it with the wrong guy, so sue me!” Instead she claimed she did nothing wrong. Our host, Chris Harrison, went down the line of girls that had personally seen Rozlyn behaving inappropriately with the producer and Rozlyn acted stunned, “What??? You guys are crazy. I did that????”

Eventually she decided to bring our host Chris Harrison, down with her by claiming he flirted with the producer’s wife in New Zealand…and instead of raising our eyebrows at our host Chris Harrison…Alecia, Jill, and I just looked at each other and said, “the guy she was sleeping with had a wife??” Rozyln was a red hot mess.

Jake came on and vaguely answered questions about where his heart is now and can I just say there was a lot of heart talk last night? If I took a drink for every time someone mentioned their heart and how it was singing or dancing or feeling or hurting or whatEVER…I would have promptly crashed my drunk mom van into a light pole on the way home from Alecia’s.

And yes I still would have driven.

I drive drunk every night.

Too much heart talk. I don’t care about the figurative conditions of your hearts.

When our host Chris Harrison, asked Jake about his feelings for Ali I swear there was a MOMENT! The eye contact, the stuttering, the confession of strong feelings Jake had…there was a MOMENT! A moment you’re not supposed to have with someone when you’re about to propose to the love of your life.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next week. There’s a 2 hour finale followed by an “After the Rose” Ceremony and they’re making it look like something big is going to happen. They’ve showed clips of Jake in lovers spats with Tenley AND with Vienna. Are we to believe he chooses neither? Will he go back to Ali? Will he propose to BOTH!?! The internet is saying this season is going to be an upset and that Jake will choose the girl that nobody likes (and aren’t we feeling sorry for Vienna at this point?) and send Tenley packing. Will he choose Vienna and then find out she’s been posing half naked and much more of a wild child than she’s portrayed herself so far?

It’s killing me. I must know the answers.

ps how cute is our host Chris Harrison’s family:

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