(I’m guest posting at Le Musings of Moi today about fashion and you can BET there’s some pretty hot photos of me over there.)
It’s stupid how little I know about Geography.
Don’t get me wrong…I do know some stuff. I know most of the important countries like America…and….of course Madagascar with those super cute lemurs. I’ve been corrected enough times in my life to know better than to call Africa a country. God forbid.
And then there are some things that take some thought. I forget that Chicago is not it’s own state. Same can be said for Detroit. And New Orleans. And Pennsylvania.
I don’t know what state Washington D.C is in. Maryland? Virginia? Madagascar? And I don’t know why when you ask someone who lives in Washington D.C, where they live…they just say Washington. Because that’s not true. Because *I* live in Washington and often times I’ve never seen these people. Why do they drop the DC?
I didn’t know where Alaska was on a world map until my second year in college. I had this epiphanic moment where I just stared at it and was all….”Alaska’s up here??? You guys it’s attached to CANADA!! It’s like super close to RUSSIA! You could just take a boat over or something.”
And of course I was talking to myself.
On Friday night during the Winter Olympics I tweeted my frustration with the length of the opening ceremonies:
I don’t know why I don’t know this stuff. I’d like to blame my teachers…or my parents…blaming things on my Dad’s death always gets me out of sticky situations. Like that time I wanted out of a class I was failing and I planned to take a hardship bereavement withdrawl even though my Dad had died many years before. What were they going to do? Tell me I wasn’t still missing him? Not like I was lying about it.
Or you know I could just blame my brain. And it’s desire to watch shows like The Bachelor and The Real Housewives instead of doing smart stuff like memorizing where places are on maps and so forth.
We all know I’m heading to Baltimore in a few weeks to impart pearls of wisdom about blogging to a room filled with drunk women. What we don’t know is exactly “where” Baltimore IS. I’ve heard the words “east” mentioned…and “snow”….and “6 hour plane flight”…so I know it’s not real close to here.
My cousin is living in New York and when I asked him to come to Baltimore to get drunk with me he laughed. At me. And said no.
My best boy/friend from high school lives in Minnesota…which is also far from here and I’m *thisclose* to asking him to swing over to the blog convention in Baltimore to get drunk with me…but I’m afraid he’ll laugh. At me. And say no.
I don’t see what the big deal is…I mean even if Baltimore is not like RIGHT next door…he could still take a little drive and come see me. I mean. If he loved me and everything.
Karen & Gerard Zemek says
What do you mean Africa is not a country? Sure it is. Who says it isn’t? I’m pretty good on US geography because I used to have a puzzle of the states and played some kind of Game of States but to learn the location of other countries, RISK is the game to play. That’s how I gained my vast knowledge of geography.
I agree with you on the D.C. question. I don’t know why people do that either–it’s confusing!
Mama Kat says
My brother got Risk for Christmas when we were little…no wait a minute…I think the game he got was called “Take Off” or something, but same idea. I played it once…it made me dizzy.
parenting BY dummies says
Don’t feel bad, you shoulda seen my horror last year when I thought some insurgents had gotten all crazy in Georgia. I was all, “Why doesn’t the National Guard or the local Confederates put a stop to that nonsense?!” Then I realized it wasn’t Georgia the American state, it was Georgia the country? the commonwealth? the landlocked nation? the place far from here that has people who speak another language and spend most of the year freezing their patookis off?! Then I was fine. Unpaused the Bachelor and went on with life. I’d like to posit that world affairs are just as overrated as geography. That’s what the UN is for, right? So I don’t need to bother myself with things going on internationally? Right? But I can tell you were Baltimore is…party town USA that’s where, at least while we are there tearing it a new one. Although, I’ll have to direct you to a few posts I’ve written about the great city of Baltimore…can you say, freaks come out at night? Bring mace, and a handgun if you have one.
Mama Kat says
Aw yes good ol’ Georgia. Thank you 2010 Winter Olympics for teaching us all about Georgia.
The freaks will be out for SURE on March 6th. And by “freaks” I mostly mean just you. ;)
Miss. Candy says
I too suffer from geography memory loss!! My sister is ten years younger and she runs circles around me! I have decided it is because school ratings didn’t come out until AFTER I left the school!! So I was cheated from one of them educations! lol!
For my job I deal with D.C. a lot, when I send stuff there I write in the city/state line:
Washington, DC
Aperture Mama says
I live in Washington (DC) Tee Hee!
Jen @ buried with children says
What do you need these men to get drunk with you for? You are going to be surrounded by the best girlies around, namely me. :)
Mama Kat says
Ohhhh mostly because I just never get to see them, but you’re right. It’ll be girls night!
Adoption of Jane says
HAHAHAHA about the correction on Africa is not a Country… my sisters get so mad at that there is even a Facebook group called Africa is a Continent not a Country Dumba$$…I think thats a lil harsh.. me I don’t get offended, nor do I care. Maybe because I grew up here. But I love pissing them off so I always say Africa is a Country!
Stephanie says
I’m in a histroy class and I have a test on Friday. Part of this test is knowing the most obsure places on the planet that if I didn’t have to look them up I would have never known they were there. Which would have been fine because now that I know I’m just losing sleep about forgeting that their there to begin with.
S Club Mama says
I wish I could take a little jilt from Nebraska to Baltimore…not to get drunk with you but to laugh. At you. Just kidding. :)
Suzanne says
I live in Minnesota, if you ever visit your friend, I would love to meet you..a friend of Summer’s through my husband, though I have never met her either. Love your humor girl, you are hilarious!
Mama Kat says
For sure!!
I got to meet Summer in real life TWICE now. She’s just exactly the way she is on her blog. Love her!
Caren says
Baltimore isn’t that far from me and I live in the city of Pennsylvania! I really want to come to Baltimore but I have to work on Saturday morning because of all the snow we’ve had and all the classes I’ve missed, can I just come go out with you guys at night? (only half kidding here!)
Mama Kat says
Ummm duh!! Yes you have to come out that night!
Jodi says
I’m pretty sure Chris will come see you. Geography’s not his strongest suit either so we could convince him it’s just a short drive. Hmmm, except I just remembered that when he and Todd came up to visit me in Bellingham they acted like it was across the country (seriously–an hour and a half and you would have thought they took a transatlantic flight).
Mama Kat says
Any time Chris and Todd had to venture away from a 10 mile radius of their homes it was like the “Grand Adventure” for that week. Maybe I’ll request a layover in Minnesota. You can request those right?? Just tappy tap the pilot on the shoulder and ask him to make a quick landing?
Jessica says
You and I definitely have yet another thing in common. Isn’t it sad?
Fiftiesmom says
I have to admit I was kind of a nerdy kid who liked puzzles and games that made me learn the states, countries and capitals. My dad was a history/social studies teacher who encouraged my nerdiness. But my problem is that I am so old that half the countries/capitals I learned back then don’t exist anymore! When I hear Georgia I think peaches and Gone with the Wind not uprisings and freezing weather.
Mama Kat says
That’s another great point…let’s just name these places and leave it at that. No need to be changing perfectly good names all the time.
Mel's Box of Chocolates says
Geography is definitely not my thing either. It took forever to get through opening ceremonies and half of the places I had never heard of. I think they were making them up as they went. Anyways I’ll be at Baltimore and cannot wait to meet you in person. I grew up north of the city, but now live in Del-a-where?
Jennifer says
That’s like asking someone in Houston if they know someone in Dallas, because you know, you all live in the same state. I live on the TX/LA border and I could be at the Atlantic ocean before I got across the state of TX. But that doesn’t really mean anything to you, does it? Sorry.
Mama Kat says
I don’t know what you’re talking about…I know every single person in this state.
And in Texas.
Brandi says
I totally am the same way about Chicago. It’s weird how some cities overshadow the entire state they are in! Can’t wait to meet you at Bloggy Bootcamp!
Trudy says
I’m totally with you on the geography thing Kat…it never really was my deal and I’ve also never understood the whole Washington vs. DC bit..they’re on opposite ends of the country for crying out loud (aren’t they?)!!!
Have fun in Baltimore, wherever it is. And I hope you find someone to get drunk with.
Justine says
Oh gawd, I do hope you’re kidding about D.C. and what state it’s in. It’s not IN any state. It is a district all on its own, no state to call its own. Isn’t that kind of sad?
You are pathetic woman. Take an online college course or something, would ya?
Justine :o )
Mama Kat says
WASHINGTON DC IS NOT IN A STATE!?!!? WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!?!
Pamela @ 2 much testosterone says
I don’t know which state D.C. is in….. Maryland?! OMG!
Christy says
haha, I used to make fun of my little sister for thinking that we were traveling to the state of Montgomery (city in AL…that’s in the deep south…the bottom right corner of the map). Of course, she was in 4th grade and it was a tad-bit more acceptable then :-)
Joy says
yea the whole dc/Baltimore/Virginia/Pennsylvania thing always confuses me.
While watching the opening ceremonies I was also confused with many of the countries and multiple times asked hubs if he could point that country out on a map if he had to:) oh and then the other night I was going over continents with my son and could only name 6 had a total brain fart and couldn’t remember which one I was forgetting:)
Lourie says
Geography IS overrated, but then so is spelling. The thing about the east coast is everything is so close together. You can go through 4 states in about an hour. You can’t do that on the west coast.
Rhonda says
I’m totally with you on this. I sucked in geography in school. You know what is worse? In Canada, we have to learn all about YOU GUYS! How much do you have to learn about us? ZILCH! And that’s not even fair. lol
I was at work listening to my pharmacists talking about travel and one of them said something about Tasmania. So I responded smartly with, “That’s a real place?” They laughed. At me. lol
So they started to explain that it IS real and pulled up a picture of a Tasmanian Devil. So I again smartly replied, “I thought that was where Dracula lived.” Again they laughed. At me. And they said, “Rhonda, that’s Transelvania”.
And it was when I said, “Oh, so is THAT a real place?” that they just advised me to stop talking.
Mama Kat says
Oh my gosh Rhonda this comment made me laugh! I can SO see myself having this exact conversation!
Tracee says
Hmmm. I’m proof you can enjoy watching junk tv (when I get a chance that is) and know geography (I used to be a catographer, a person who makes maps) and read medical journals on my lunch breaks. However, I don’t know squat about English, it’s my worst subject. So there, you can gloat over me for that.
Shelley says
I’ve never been great with geography either. Except when I took summer school in 9th grade JUST for world geography. I studies and I knew almost all the countries…but I forgot them by now. As far as the USA goes…I only really know the west coast and partly some of the middle and east coast. I was toooo old when I realized that Washington, D.C was not IN Washington! It’s hard to really get a grip on all these places unless you are studying/reading about them and looking at maps. If you travel to them you will most likely know more as well, but who has the time/money for that? Not me!
Kathy says
See on your map of Alaska where it says Mt. McKinley? My brother lives there…on that mountain…miles and miles from civilization but pretty darn close to Russia. I live in Georgia which isn’t that far from Baltimore on a map but um, yeah, far so I’m sad I won’t get the chance to meet you :(
Foursons says
I am the EXACT same way. I could not point to any of those places on a map within a 5 minute time span. I blame my teachers.
Jessica Jones says
I TOTALLY feel your pain!
I “knew” the olympics were in Vancouver but I don’t think I realized that was in Canada until the opening ceremonies…yeah…
Katherine says
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We moved from the western United States to the Midwest 9 months ago. Everyone thinks we live in Ohio. One person said that she was sure it looked just like Tennessee, her favorite state, because they are right next to each other.
We live in Iowa. We’ve stopped correcting people.
Bethany says
You are definitely not alone. I’m okay with geography, but for some reason I thought Georgia (the country) was in Africa. I have *no* idea why. Imagine my surprise when they showed the luger’s hometown and it was snowing.
3 Men and a Lady says
Geography is probably the subject I did best in… but I have to admit I was like 13 or so before I realized that north is not always “in front of you” or “forward”. I had some skewed notion that north was ahead, south was behind, east was right, and west was left…. no matter which way you faced.
Sad, yes? So don’t feel bad about your geography issues.
kisatrtle says
okay…I’m in Pennsylvania and it is only an hour from Balitmore! What bar? I’ll be down, or over or whatever….
Katie (aka Kekibird) says
Yeah. Not one for knowing locations and whatnot. Hell, I can barely figure out which way is North…isn’t that up?
Melissa says
I’m a bit of a nerd so I like geography and I know that Chicago is in Illinois and that Baltimore is in Maryland. But hey, different people are good at different things. :)
Wendy Hagen says
You should have taken a geography class in college. Or not. I signed up for one at UCLA so I could relearn the states and their capitals (I think I learned it in junior high?). They didn’t talk at all about actual locations of places. Didn’t get reacquainted with my states. They used fancy words that ended in sphere and ography. I dropped the class. Not kidding.
My best advice now – get a good children’s puzzle or an iphone. Best of luck.
June Freaking Cleaver says
I used to think Philadelphia was a state…and I lived in Pennsylvania then.
Of course, I was four years old at the time.
Lula says
I’m from Georgia. The state, not the country.
But I live in Virginia.
Not Virgin.
And Vienna is the capital of Austria, not a name of a skank ho trying to capture herself a pilot.
Lex says
I work in Baltimore and live in the area. So anyone you want to invite without knowing how close/far it is from them–just let them know that Southwest, Jet Blue & Air Tran all fly for mega cheap into BWI (Balto Washingtion Int’l Airport).
Very much wish I would be able to make it to the convention that Saturday–but alas, I have not started the blog scene the way I want to once I’m finally done my masters–and I have bridesmaid duties.
If you need or want to get out of the hotel, Cosmopolitan is a great martini bar and is located down the street from Nacho Mama’s fabulous Mexican food and giant margaritas in “hubcaps.” Both are in Canton Square. Safe travels…wherever you end up :-)
Blythe says
When my friend was very young, she used to get “Australia” and “the world” confused. I suppose if one is very small, and Australia is very large, the confusion is understandable.
Jenners says
I can so relate to this. I dated a Geography Major in college and he was HORRIFIED at my complete and utter lack of knowledge about basic placement of major countries. It is my secret shame.
Melissa B. says
Now, you KNOW the only person who thinks Africa is a country these days is that cheater, Sarah Palin. Did you see the scribbling on her hand? And I definitely think you should schedule a rendezvous for Balti…you’ll have a blast!
gaelikaa says
Geography. Some people are just not that into it. I loved it. But that’s just me…
MrsM says
Washington DC is not in a state-it is in fact a federally owned district (DC stands for “District of Columbia”, the formal name of Washington DC). The reason it cannot be in a State is because Article 1 Section 8 of the Constitution states that the seat of government (the nation’s capital) must be on land that is voluntarily ceded by several states and that totals no larger than 10 miles square (or 100 square miles). The reason it is called Washington DC (instead of just District of Columbia) is because George Washington picked out the area for the capital and it was named after him in 1791, and I suspect it is called simply “Washington” (or “The District” or “DC”) for the same reason that Chicago is called “Chi Town” or Portland is “P Town”. Brevity and an attempt at hipness.
Baltimore is in Maryland, approximately 200 miles (or 4+ hours) from New York and is approximately 1,300 miles (or a little over a day’s drive) from central Minnesota.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I am so glad we home school because I actually happen to think this stuff is important.
dysfunctional mom says
I think 100% of the blame lies on The Bachelor. Just watching it sucks out our brain cells.
Sadie at heyMamas.com says
I am not very good at geography either, but I absolutely love looking at maps and globes. I could stare at them for days dreaming about all the amazing people and places that exist out there, places I will probably never get to visit until I am retired and then I have been told….”what’s the point, you will be old.”
Sadie at heyMamas
Stephanie @ Geezees says
You crack me up…i can’t wait to meet you in Baltimore!!
Emmy says
I had a teacher in junior high that made us learn all of the states and capitols, so at least when it comes to the USA I sound pretty smart, get me anywhere international and it is anyone’s guess.
My freshmen year of college I had someone try to insist to me that Illinois is on the east coast, I grew up in Illinois, and he knew this.. but I could not convince him for the life of me that it is the midwest, it is part of the central time zone for crying out loud!
Sandra says
Oh honey… it a good thing you are so pretty and funny… Pennsylvania IS it’s own state…
:)
Melissa says
I live in Northern Virginia (25 miles West of DC) and it’s always bugged the crap out of me that people call it “Washington.”
Brandie says
So really you are so funny! I have been to Baltimore and it is FAR! And the roads are really narrow but the buildings are tall and beautiful and the ocean is RIGHT there and blah blah blah I wish I was going to Bloggy Boot Camp!
Julia says
My husband is a geography know-it-all and he always tries to get me to play “what’s the capital of…” game. I hate it! I just tell him that I dont have time to play his dumb game but really its because I suck I have no idea.
Luschka says
LOL – Oh yay! I’ve finally found someone worse at geography than me! Signing off now to go tell my husband the good news! ;p
trashalou says
Hahahaha .. loving that you finally found ALASKA.
Tracy P. says
OK so Minnesota is pretty much right smack in the middle up by Canada. Not Baltimore. Which is why while you are in Baltimore you need to talk Heather and Tiffany into scheduling the next boot camp in Minneapolis near the Mall of America. Then I will get to meet you! :-)
Katie says
OMG! Pennsylvania IS a state! And Minnesota is about a 2 hour plane ride/14 hour road trip/36 hour train ride from Baltimore. Your friend will most definitely laugh at you. Just sayin’
My suggestion is to go to Walmart and buy one of those place mats with the states and the word on it. That way you can practice at meal times. As a teacher you definitely know “every time is a learning opportunity!”
Casandra says
Ahem. Let me start by saying this comment is going to be the proof that I am currently reading your archives. But I promise not in a wierd-stalker-scary-bad way but it a you make me laugh-I wanted to know more-this is much better than working kind of way. I just had to say that I am so glad that someone understand that Washington DC is Washington DC and not just Washington, becuase in fact there is ALREADY a Washington. I (who grew up there are deeply misses it) was tormented by a trip to DC in the 7th grade and how everyone kept calling DC just plain ol’ Washington. The disrespect. Huh, should have pulled out my nine. (no really, that was a joke..remember I’m not the creepy-stalker type at all…just so you know)