Dear Ellen,
I think I owe you a happy belated birthday! Are you aware that you just turned 52? What this tells the world is that you have officially come into your own. You are confident and composed and secure. You have love, you have money, you have fame. You. Have. MADE IT!
You know what this tells ME? That we’re one year closer to the END of The Ellen Show. Tell me Ellen…how will I skyrocket your show to even more superfamedom by allowing you to have me as your guest, if in fact, the show is no longer on the air?
I have every intention of continuing to write you letters until I’m 80, but what IF you stop doing your show before I turn 80? People will think I’m nuts for encouraging you to have me on a show doesn’t even exist. They may begin to think I’m not all there. They may encourage me to change the name of my blog to “Mama Done Lost Her Damn Mind”.
So while you’re out celebrating your 52nd with Portia and talking about where you’ll be vacationing next summer…I’m feeling a little uneasy about where things currently stand with us. Which is to say, nowhere.
I’m slightly concerned that after a year of writing, none of your interns have reached out to me. My offer to sleep with one of them still stands. I am not above the “Hollywood” way of making dreams come true.
And then it occurred to me that perhaps I’ve got it all wrong with the letter writing Ellen. How many times have we seen celebrities hit it big as youngsters only to find out that by jumping into show business so early they never actually learned to read? It happens all too often…which is why I’ve decided to share my very first Dear Ellen music video with you. Here’s hoping a Mama Kat original can help get my message across:
I can’t wait to serenade you in person Ellen!
Love,
Mama Kat
***
Dear Blog Readers!
Coincidentally Ellen tweeted this last week: Attention Followers! We’re looking for fun new talent so send me a YouTube link with the tag #GetOnEllen. Can’t wait to see what you post.
GASP! is right. You know what this means right? Now, I have NO qualms with writing Ellen letters for the rest of my live long life. Show or no show. I will do it. And I have NO problems losing contests to people who are actually legitimately talented and in need of their big break. But how funny would it be if this ACTUALLY worked!?! What if I could be on the show and we could fill the audience with mommy bloggers! ALL of us could go! And she could give us all cars and send us to Bermuda and we could have a mini mommy blogging summer vacation together!!! Or not…but just what IF right?
If you feel so inclined, and you have a twitter account you can tweet my video to TheEllenShow and gently encourage her to foster a friendship with me.
This is the link to my video on youtube: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo
And I’ll even make a few tweet suggestions for you if you don’t know quite what to say. You can say:
@TheEllenShow if I had a talk show I’d put @mamakatslosinit on it…but I don’t…so you should: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow She’s not sober, but she’ll be what you need @mamakatslosinit is your girl: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow Hey @mamakatslosinit ain’t no one trick pony…whatever that means…put her on your show! http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow @mamakatslosinit has written you 13 letters and is now singing your good graces on youtube! http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow @mamakatslosinit has written 13 letters to u…put her out of her misery: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow @mamakatslosinit is the most talented up &coming…well…nothing, but she made u a video: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow Ohhhhh dear Ellen….OHHHHHH dear Ellen!! Listen to @mamakatslosinit http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow Not like we’re askin 4 a new van &a trip to Bermuda we just want @mamakatslosinit on ur show http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow #GetOnEllen She sings, she dances, she drinks, she blogs… in kick-ass aprons http://bit.ly/aKPlGr @mamakatslosinit
I don’t know…what else could you say?
{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh hilarious. I’m going to tweet this right now, as soon as i stop laughing from the mouse post!
This is a-flippin’-hilarious! I am SO glad you decided to do it! I will tweet this in the AM, but for now I gotta pass out. :-)
Hey I’m down! I’ll tweet ya ;) And then claim to be best friends with you when you go on so I feel cool.
ohhhhh, I can’t see the video and I’m not cool enough for Twitter… Will content myself reading your previous Ellen letters. Gotta love that woman!
Seriously, if you get on this show, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.
You do realize what you’ve done, right? You have created an earworm! This song has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it! If that doesn’t get Ellen’s attention I don’t know what will.
Love this! ESPECIALLY love your fancy dance moves. Word.
Consider it tweeted, my dear!
roflmbo consider it tweeted my dear… and I am sick at how clean and organized your house is lol… teach me oh wise one teach me
You are an absolute RIOT!! I am sitting here dying laughing at your video for the 3rd time. It peaked the Hubs interest so much he had to watch it before he walked out the door for work. We HAVE got to find a way to get you on that show!!
That is hilarious. I will tweet for you.
Just tweeted! You crack my S@*#^ UP!
I am cracking up! I tweeted, I hope it helps! Good luck!
This has reached epic proportions! Hilarious!
If I had twitter I would tweet: You can make lots kinda happy, or one person SUPER happy. Have @mamkatslosinit on your show. http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
But I don’t so instead I will send you good luck thoughts. (That hardly makes up for it, huh?)
DONE! I think this might be your big break!! I’ll be singing this song all day!
You so deserve to be on her show!!!! I’ll tweet for ya!
L-O-V-E it! I tweeted it and hope you get on the show.
Laughing my ass of right now!!! LOVE IT and I am so sending Ellen a tweet! Dont forgot about us when you make it on her show! :)
I love you. If you make it on her show, will you send me some sort of secret facial expression or something?????
Rock on girl!!
Now I have “Dear Ellen” in my head! Such a catchy lil tune.
Love the video! I watch Ellen every morning and your if you don’t make it on by that then I’m reconsidering…well, maybe!? Anyways, what I will do is tweet every one of those suggestions you provided. Good luck!
I have no idea what else you could say, but oh my gosh I totally tweeted that crap to her about 5 bajillion times! Plus, since my business name changed I’m tweeting it another 5 bajillion times once I open that Twitter account! Best of luck Mama Kat! You nneeeeed to be on Ellen.
OMG- so funny, Kat! This has been stuck in my head all day- I know this will work for you- I can just FEEL it! When you go on Ellen and gain a zillion followers, don’t forget your loyal readers!!!
Liz
That was both awesome and hilarious!!! I really hope that you get on her show because after all of that hard work you totally deserve it!
You can bet your butt I’m going to be tweeting this all day. :) And longer.
I bow to your greatness!
I have been working on a music video of sorts about blogging for a few months. Harder than I thought!
You are awesome.
I had NO IDEA that you were so musically talented!! If you were not already my hero (which you were) you definitely are now! That was awesome. You are SO in!!
Oooohhhh Dear Mama Kat! Leave it to Ellen to push your production skills to a new level, while you pushed your kids out of the way. The blinking “SHAMELESS PLUG” is my favorite. I am going to have my kids teach me how to use the TV remote now.
I will tweet for you! I will tweet for you all day! I hope that this works!!! I want you on Ellen.
Oh and that video was fabulous!
Adorable! I couldn’t stop laughing! I’ve been wondering all this time, have you actually sent those letters to Ellen? I sure hope you have. Good luck! I might actually have to get my Twitter account up and running just so I can tweet this to her. Keep us posted Kat!
That was the greatest video ever. EVER! I seriously was laughing the whole time and ignoring the fact that my dogs need to go out. I HOPE YOU MAKE IT ON HER SHOW!!!
You rock! This one is so gonna work- I just know it!
Serioulsy, YOU ARE SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!! I am going to pimp you out oh don’t you worry.
I am so glad I didn’t miss this post. I am definitely going to tweet your link right now. I can’t wait to be in the audience and get a car and Bermuda vacation. Yea!!! :)
You are so funny! I love it! Thanks for the Monday morning laugh! :) Good luck!! i don’t tweet…but maybe I’ll start just for this! :)
You are so funny! I will tweet for you! :D
That’s so funny, I love the video! I hope you do make it to Ellen!
OMG, this was hysterical!!! I cannot believe how much work you put into this. I don’t even use my Twitter account, but off I go!
Justine :o )
That is quite possibly the funniest Ellen letter you’ve written/sung. I love it! How could she not put you on her show? And I tweeted for you!
I will definetly tweet just based on the effort you put into that. That was great. Where oh, where do you find the energy??
Sadie at heyMamas
OMG LOVE IT!!!!
You might want to fix something though … Ellen is 52!! (I know, I can’t believe it either, she’s sooo hot!!!) But yeah, as her BFF, you should know her b-day is: January 26, 1958, so she just turned 52.
I hope this works. She cannot ignore us all!
Love, love, LOVE it!
The talent, woah the talent…
I mean you sing, you play guitar, you lip sync…I mean is there ANYTHING you can’t do???
I’ll do whatever I must for you to get your dying dream.
Um… yeah… BRILLIANT!!!!
You’re cuter than that Portia De Rossi too…I’m gonna tweet right now!
Love it, how do you do that? I hope you get on Ellen, you made my day!
I LOVE YOUR VIDEO! Hilarious! You truly are talented Mama Kat!
I shamelessly plugged you on Twitter: niferann4 @TheEllenShow Please! @mamakatslosinit just wants to be on your show! Check it out: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
That was completely and totally awesome! If I had a Twitter account I would so plug it for you.
Great job!!
You are soooo cute!! You MUST be on her show!
I will boycott Ellen if she doesn’t let you on with that masterpiece. Seriously, that was genius. I loved every damn minute. Tweeting now.
Love your video! I think my favorite part was the subtle pushing aside of the child’s hand on the guitar. ;) Love it. Tweeting now.
If she doesn’t pick yours, I will have to drive down there and start a campaign. I will be holding a sign “Put Mama Kat on your show!’ Haha. Your video is great!
Are you sure that we are going to think that you done lost your mind when your 80 or can we possibly already think that?!?! ;) Good luck…Come ON ELLEN, how can you resist her???
What a great video….hope you make it on Ellen’s show!!
I tweeted. After such a spectacular performance, surely she’ll invite you!
She just can’t resist this! too funny!
ROFL!!! That is too funny! I tweeted for you!
I tweeted. You are too too cute!
I wish I tweeted. I don’t see how anyone could resist you!
I desperately hope you get picked!
This was awesome and the fact that you gave twitter ideas just sent it over the top… I know, that’s totally old people talk; but I am nearer Ellen’s age than yours. sadface.
hahahaha. so great.
OMG, I am dying laughing! You have to be on Ellen! I will do my part to make this happen!!!
I did Tweet for you. If it works, I’m sure it was my Tweet that sent it over the edge and I want you to yell out “Jenners!!!!!” right before a commercial break and lift your shirt. Thank you.
I can’t believe she still has not had you on the show!!! You are so talanted kat, see you soon. Em
Oh my goodness, this is hysterical!! I just don’t see how she can’t pick you. I will tweet for you right now! Come on Ellen! :)
This is so funny! I don’t watch the Ellen show but I know lots of people that like her…you deserve it! BTW, the website is faster…sorry I didn’t email you back!
OMG that rocks in so many ways! She BETTER chose yours! I would so want to go!
Genius. Pure genius. I will definitely tweet!!
I am boycotting Ellen until she has you on the show! *
Keep trying girl! You’ll either get on it quickly or at least you’ll get to see her in court when you’re the defendant and she’s the plaintiff. ;)
*smooches™
*Bold face lie to show solidarity
OK, that was hysterical!! I would love to be in the audience when you get on her show!!!
Oh man you rock!! Love the pushing the kid’s had out of the way when you were playing the guitar lol
^hand
That’s great! I tweeted for you. I hope your video catches Ellen’s attention. It would be so cool to see you on the show! And an audience of Mom Bloggers – that would be awesome. Good luck!
THAT was a fabulous video. How do you find the time and energy to think up these things? So jealous of your creativity! Now I need a goal as big as yours … but what??!!
Tweeting for ya, that video was funny.
How clever are you!? Loved this. You are too funny :)
YOU BETTER GET ON HER SHOW!!! This was great! I tweeted for you!
Loved the video!!