Dear Ellen,
I think I owe you a happy belated birthday! Are you aware that you just turned 52? What this tells the world is that you have officially come into your own. You are confident and composed and secure. You have love, you have money, you have fame. You. Have. MADE IT!
You know what this tells ME? That we’re one year closer to the END of The Ellen Show. Tell me Ellen…how will I skyrocket your show to even more superfamedom by allowing you to have me as your guest, if in fact, the show is no longer on the air?
I have every intention of continuing to write you letters until I’m 80, but what IF you stop doing your show before I turn 80? People will think I’m nuts for encouraging you to have me on a show doesn’t even exist. They may begin to think I’m not all there. They may encourage me to change the name of my blog to “Mama Done Lost Her Damn Mind”.
So while you’re out celebrating your 52nd with Portia and talking about where you’ll be vacationing next summer…I’m feeling a little uneasy about where things currently stand with us. Which is to say, nowhere.
I’m slightly concerned that after a year of writing, none of your interns have reached out to me. My offer to sleep with one of them still stands. I am not above the “Hollywood” way of making dreams come true.
And then it occurred to me that perhaps I’ve got it all wrong with the letter writing Ellen. How many times have we seen celebrities hit it big as youngsters only to find out that by jumping into show business so early they never actually learned to read? It happens all too often…which is why I’ve decided to share my very first Dear Ellen music video with you. Here’s hoping a Mama Kat original can help get my message across:
I can’t wait to serenade you in person Ellen!
Love,
Mama Kat
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Dear Blog Readers!
Coincidentally Ellen tweeted this last week: Attention Followers! We’re looking for fun new talent so send me a YouTube link with the tag #GetOnEllen. Can’t wait to see what you post.
GASP! is right. You know what this means right? Now, I have NO qualms with writing Ellen letters for the rest of my live long life. Show or no show. I will do it. And I have NO problems losing contests to people who are actually legitimately talented and in need of their big break. But how funny would it be if this ACTUALLY worked!?! What if I could be on the show and we could fill the audience with mommy bloggers! ALL of us could go! And she could give us all cars and send us to Bermuda and we could have a mini mommy blogging summer vacation together!!! Or not…but just what IF right?
If you feel so inclined, and you have a twitter account you can tweet my video to TheEllenShow and gently encourage her to foster a friendship with me.
This is the link to my video on youtube: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo
And I’ll even make a few tweet suggestions for you if you don’t know quite what to say. You can say:
@TheEllenShow if I had a talk show I’d put @mamakatslosinit on it…but I don’t…so you should: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow She’s not sober, but she’ll be what you need @mamakatslosinit is your girl: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow Hey @mamakatslosinit ain’t no one trick pony…whatever that means…put her on your show! http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow @mamakatslosinit has written you 13 letters and is now singing your good graces on youtube! http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow @mamakatslosinit has written 13 letters to u…put her out of her misery: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow @mamakatslosinit is the most talented up &coming…well…nothing, but she made u a video: http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow Ohhhhh dear Ellen….OHHHHHH dear Ellen!! Listen to @mamakatslosinit http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow Not like we’re askin 4 a new van &a trip to Bermuda we just want @mamakatslosinit on ur show http://bit.ly/d0ZsEo #GetOnEllen
@TheEllenShow #GetOnEllen She sings, she dances, she drinks, she blogs… in kick-ass aprons http://bit.ly/aKPlGr @mamakatslosinit
I don’t know…what else could you say?
{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }
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If she doesn’t pick yours, I will have to drive down there and start a campaign. I will be holding a sign “Put Mama Kat on your show!’ Haha. Your video is great!
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Are you sure that we are going to think that you done lost your mind when your 80 or can we possibly already think that?!?! ;) Good luck…Come ON ELLEN, how can you resist her???
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What a great video….hope you make it on Ellen’s show!!
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I tweeted. After such a spectacular performance, surely she’ll invite you!
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She just can’t resist this! too funny!
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ROFL!!! That is too funny! I tweeted for you!
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I tweeted. You are too too cute!
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I wish I tweeted. I don’t see how anyone could resist you!
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I desperately hope you get picked!
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This was awesome and the fact that you gave twitter ideas just sent it over the top… I know, that’s totally old people talk; but I am nearer Ellen’s age than yours. sadface.
hahahaha. so great.
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OMG, I am dying laughing! You have to be on Ellen! I will do my part to make this happen!!!
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I did Tweet for you. If it works, I’m sure it was my Tweet that sent it over the edge and I want you to yell out “Jenners!!!!!” right before a commercial break and lift your shirt. Thank you.
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I can’t believe she still has not had you on the show!!! You are so talanted kat, see you soon. Em
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Oh my goodness, this is hysterical!! I just don’t see how she can’t pick you. I will tweet for you right now! Come on Ellen! :)
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This is so funny! I don’t watch the Ellen show but I know lots of people that like her…you deserve it! BTW, the website is faster…sorry I didn’t email you back!
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OMG that rocks in so many ways! She BETTER chose yours! I would so want to go!
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Genius. Pure genius. I will definitely tweet!!
I am boycotting Ellen until she has you on the show! *
Keep trying girl! You’ll either get on it quickly or at least you’ll get to see her in court when you’re the defendant and she’s the plaintiff. ;)
*smooches™
*Bold face lie to show solidarity
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OK, that was hysterical!! I would love to be in the audience when you get on her show!!!
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Oh man you rock!! Love the pushing the kid’s had out of the way when you were playing the guitar lol
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^hand
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That’s great! I tweeted for you. I hope your video catches Ellen’s attention. It would be so cool to see you on the show! And an audience of Mom Bloggers – that would be awesome. Good luck!
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THAT was a fabulous video. How do you find the time and energy to think up these things? So jealous of your creativity! Now I need a goal as big as yours … but what??!!
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Tweeting for ya, that video was funny.
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How clever are you!? Loved this. You are too funny :)
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YOU BETTER GET ON HER SHOW!!! This was great! I tweeted for you!
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Loved the video!!
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