The Women Tell All is always the episode before the finale when the jousted women come back together for two hours of merriment.
The highlights:
Crazy girl Michelle was put in the hot seat to talk about how not crazy she is and how she doesn’t need therapy and she managed to insist on these things in the least crazy fashion possible, but we all still know she’s crazy.
Kissy face Elizabeth apologized for her kiss me now, kiss me not, teasing ways and admitted she wanted to slap herself too.
Gia, who was cut last week, was still freshly and visibly upset about losing Jake. She was classy and respectable and I want to have her babies…..or I want her to be the next Bachelorette…whichever seems more do-able. No pun intended.
Ali was the nicest since I’ve seen her. She too, seemed a little embarrassed by the way she behaved on tv and she apologized through the camera to Vienna for being mean to her.
Rozlyn was the girl who was kicked off the show for having an inappropriate relationship with a producer. She did a terrible job defending herself. She should have come on and just said, “hey I did it, we’re in love. I came here looking for love and I found it with the wrong guy, so sue me!” Instead she claimed she did nothing wrong. Our host, Chris Harrison, went down the line of girls that had personally seen Rozlyn behaving inappropriately with the producer and Rozlyn acted stunned, “What??? You guys are crazy. I did that????”
Eventually she decided to bring our host Chris Harrison, down with her by claiming he flirted with the producer’s wife in New Zealand…and instead of raising our eyebrows at our host Chris Harrison…Alecia, Jill, and I just looked at each other and said, “the guy she was sleeping with had a wife??” Rozyln was a red hot mess.
Jake came on and vaguely answered questions about where his heart is now and can I just say there was a lot of heart talk last night? If I took a drink for every time someone mentioned their heart and how it was singing or dancing or feeling or hurting or whatEVER…I would have promptly crashed my drunk mom van into a light pole on the way home from Alecia’s.
And yes I still would have driven.
I drive drunk every night.
Too much heart talk. I don’t care about the figurative conditions of your hearts.
When our host Chris Harrison, asked Jake about his feelings for Ali I swear there was a MOMENT! The eye contact, the stuttering, the confession of strong feelings Jake had…there was a MOMENT! A moment you’re not supposed to have with someone when you’re about to propose to the love of your life.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next week. There’s a 2 hour finale followed by an “After the Rose” Ceremony and they’re making it look like something big is going to happen. They’ve showed clips of Jake in lovers spats with Tenley AND with Vienna. Are we to believe he chooses neither? Will he go back to Ali? Will he propose to BOTH!?! The internet is saying this season is going to be an upset and that Jake will choose the girl that nobody likes (and aren’t we feeling sorry for Vienna at this point?) and send Tenley packing. Will he choose Vienna and then find out she’s been posing half naked and much more of a wild child than she’s portrayed herself so far?
It’s killing me. I must know the answers.
ps how cute is our host Chris Harrison’s family:
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I’m so glad to finally have an outlet for my thought on last nights show!! Thank you for posting this! Okay first of all..I am starting to like Vienna. She and Jake have a connection and if that’s true love then that’s great! Tenley doesn’t seem ready for marriage again. She is still hurting from her last husband.
I started watching the show after the whole Michelle/Rozlyn thing happened. But I could not believe that Rozlyn was denying the whole thing even though aaaalllll the women were saying it was true. And then she tried to bring the host down too! I didn’t even make the connection that the producer was married in the first place until I read what you said.
Aaaand she swore on her childs life!? What kind of mother is she? Why would she say that when she so obviously is lying?? Ugh what a horrible mother figure.
I heard Ali is the new Bachelorette. She seems kind of fake to me. I reeeally like Gia though.
Ahhh I feel better now, thanks! ;-)
He was on Good Morning America at the start of Bachelor. He told Robin Roberts that “there is no rule saying you HAVE to pick someone..” hmmm.
Im thinking he chooses neither…(because I really don’t like Vienna.)
It sounds like the ending is going to be a big bummer! But the good news is I’ll ike reading about it here!
Where is the Mclinky? Here is my Bachelor post….
http://kerrims.blogspot.com/2010/02/bachelor-talk-tuesday-lots-to-say-this.html
Crazy! As usual. In line at the grocery store the US magazine said that Vienna has a boyfriend and Jake’s dating Ali, so who knows!
Rozlyn was a complete B-otch. Talk about somebody who was guilty. You’re right, just admit and no one would care.
OK, maybe I would have a little bit because I found this link to the producer and Jake (even as goofy as he is) is way hotter.
Enjoy…
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/01/exclusive-documents-bachelor-producers-divorce-she-got-cash-he-got-cat
Ali=next Bachelorette, I bet!
Can I just say that I haven’t watched yet due to a pledge that I made to my husband to watch it together when he gets back into the country. That being said — I’m not big on pledges and did sneak a peek last night and caught the what will go down in history comment from Chris about the unicorns and wizards. I’m still wiping up the Pepsi I spit out everywhere from laughing so hard!
I thought he was nice to say that he wished he’d had more time to get to know that really funny girl who got sent home after the modeling date b/c she was so insecure. I liked her too.
Ali makes me want to gag. I hope he picks Tenley…she seems best suited for him.
Did you see the looks his family was giving Vienna in the promos???!
I look forward to your Bachelor recaps, they are freakin hilarious. Cant wait for next week!
I am so glad I don’t have to suffer through actually watching…Thanks for the update!
Vienna and Tenley have FAKE @$$ teeth, so he won’t choose either and I bet he and Ali are messing around…the tension between them on that stage was very obvious.
And can you believe that Jason and Molly are getting MARRIED in a couple of weeks on TV???? Whaaaaat??
I love these updates! I don’t watch, because I don’t have to… I think it would be a great twist if he was actually with Ali, but it would’ve been leaked already, dontcha think?
I LOVE CHRIS HARRISON!!! He is quite possibly the best reality show host ever! And his response to Rozlyn “I won’t dignify that with an answer” UGH…speaks oodles about his class. She is suuuuuch a B! I couldn’t take much more of her eye rolling and sluttiness. Looking forward to next week, and I hope I am not disappointed by Jake like I was with Brad and Jason.
How dare Rozlyn disrespect Chris like she did. And my favorite comments from the night when talking about Tenley:
“That girl seriously shits out rainbows” and “She probably dreams in cartoons”. I love it!
Great recap. I am on Team Vienna. If I were a man, I would be so bored of Tenley. It’s like the girls said on this episode, it’s like Tenley walked out of a Disney movie and dreams in cartoons. I find her SO boring and uninteresting. Vienna is atleast fun, funny, and exciting. She might be a little immature, but she’d keep Jake interested and not bored to death. LOL!
Great post as usual – lovin’ the Bachelor drama! Last night was great. I would love it if he is really with Ali because I agree that there was a MOMENT between them last night. But I’d also like Ali to be the next Bachelorette because I think she is the girl-next-door and I’d like her to be happy!
When he said “when we were sitting on that bench, my heart my crying” I threw up in my mouth a little.
He’s so gorgeous. Why must he ruin in my talking?
I was so shocked by all of it. I don’t even know where to begin. Rozlyn was a joke. Her and Michelle would hit it off. Maybe ABC should set them up.
thanks for the recap. sorry i missed all the action, but i did see highlights of miss rozlyn on E!. she has agreed to have their people talk to her lawyer and get a polygraph test to prove she is telling the truth. this series just gets crazier and crazier each season. i bet he’ll pick vienna and fans will go nuts since she is so ugly. i wonder if tenley will end her time on the show with a dance. maybe ali is coming back and steals his heart. depends on what is in all their contracts and in the script i guess. take care.
I think there’s going to be a real twist and Jake is going to end up with Rozlyn. Ha ha ha ha! I crack myself up!
I liked your drinking game, The Husband and I always want to play a drinking game where you drink every time someone says the word “amazing,” truly, you’d be drunk in under 14 minutes.
I’m totally late in reading this but I gotta say that your little thought bubbles crack me up every week. Great post (as usual). Now if you ever feel inclined to read my weekly Bachelor write up you can head on over to http:itskerrysworld.blogspot.com. I know it’s a shameless plug but I figured I’d give it a shot. ;)
I felt sorry for Ali last night and Gia. I liked them both and think Jake is going to make a big mistake and have a broken heart again. Always enjoy reading your recaps of this show–you are so funny! I read in US Weekly that Ali will be the next bachelorette too but I’d rather see her back with Jake. I think she was the best match for him.
I only watched half of it, so missed that moment between him and Ali. For the past week I’ve been thinking that’s he’s not going to propose to either one of them. I can’t wait to see what happens next week!
Justine :o )
My two cents worth is that he will not end up choosing either Tenley or Vienna and in the meantime has reconnected with Ali…..am anxious to find out on Mon. night.
I am supposed to watch the show and then read your post as a re-cap each week. But the thing is…I don’t watch the show. So I was just reading your re-caps and thinking ‘who the hell watches this crap?’….and then it happened. I stumbled upon it one night and I thought “I should watch this JUST so MamaKats recaps make sense. So I did.
And now I am one of the people who watches this crap.
JUST FOR YOU.
:)
When Rozlyn made that comment about Chris Harrison flirting with the producers wife, my jaw was on the ground and I was like no, she didn’t just go there on national television?? But what strikes me more surprising and makes me more of a dingbat than I already am is that it didn’t dawn on me that the producer actually had a wife at some point…and she did say wife and not ex-wife. So was he cheating on his wife??? I was too shocked to digest all the info.
Sadie at heyMamas
I got sucked in for the whole darn show…the women’s tell all is always so much better than the men’s! I loved that Chris ended his little interview with Rozlyn by saying that he hoped her experience on the show helps her to become a better person. She definitely has a long way to go to fit that bill. I couldn’t help but think about how stupid she’ll feel after everything comes out and pictures start showing up of the two of them!
Great recap!
I know who ‘wins’ I have an inside source, and I’ve known for awhile. So it’s funny for me to read your thoughts on it. I’m not telling you though, unless you want me to… :)
Hey MamaKat, I have a blogging question. How do you set up your comments so that you can reply to each comment without making a whole different comment? My blog knowledge is limited! Thanks!
I bet he flys solo next week and kisses Tenley and vixen Vienna good bye. I’m hoping that the After the Rose show will be him arriving at Ali’s door and they fly off into the sunset together. Such good cheesy tv!!! I love it!
Do you dish on American Idol too?
I would love if Gia was the next Bachelorette! There’s a mom on our PTC that looks just like her minus the fake boobs and cheeks (i think) and I want to call her Gia and have her babies too! ;)
I don’t like that guys wife at the end.
She looks too much like the real housewives.
Fake.
The kids are cute though.
I liked the girl they said was cheating.
I liked the girl that left for her job too.
I watch the show now just because of your blog : )
See what a GREAT freaking influence you are?
Tenley is too good for Jake.
So the producer was sleazing around with Rozlyn and he is married? I can’t wait to see your wrap up. hahaha.
Isn’t Gia the most precious thing ever? I know Elizabeth in “real life” and I think the show portrayed her quite well, and I don’t mean as a prude…
Didn’t even think about the fact that “the producer” had a wife. Funny.
From day one I have been saying that I don’t think he picks anyone. And I’m sorry but if Ally is the next Bachelorette, I am going to throw up.
Totally thought the same thing about the comment Rozlyn made about Chris’ wife – she sounded horrid. I would be so embarrassed if I were her – two words: HO. BAG.
So sorry…;)
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