I told you my plans,
that I’d be leaving
I hadn’t had time
alone for breathing.
“You always want to get away”, you said.
Your eyes on me were teasing.
I smiled it gone but I was cringing,
Why are those words still ringing?
Archives for March 2010
No One Ever Told Me
My biggest weakness: I’m not a cleaner.
No one ever told me bathtubs do not self clean.
No one ever told me the toilets should gleam
No one ever told me that I’d need to try
But I never asked and now I know why
No one ever told me my kids would need to be fed
No one ever told me thinking up meals would hurt my head
No one ever told me my food would make them cry
But I never asked and now I know why.
No one ever told me I’d need to scrub all the baseboards
No one ever told me it’s something I would not get praise for
No one ever told me I’d have to dust the blinds
But I never asked and now I know why
No one ever told me laundry would drive me crazy
No one ever told me it’s not cool being lazy.
No one ever told me it’d be enough to make me cry
But I never asked and now I know why
And it’s because cleaning freaking sucks.
The Cove: Just Added Dolphin Killing To The List Of Things I’m Not A Fan Of
I walk this weird line of not wanting to be one of those whackos on the street holding activist signs, but at the same time feeling passionate about ending abuse towards any creatures.
I felt extremely irritated after Tillicum the whale killed a third person. Why do we act surprised to see Wild animals go wild? When I wrote up that post I learned a lot about whales and how they came to be captive and I decided that night I would never support another program that uses captive whales to receive revenue.
Therein began my inner struggle.
Do I support programs that use ANY captive animals to receive revenue? Does this mean no more zoo visits asks the former local Zoo Society MEMBER! If this is the stance I’m going to take, how then, do I feel about caged mice? domesticated horses? goldfish? Where do I draw the line?
I don’t want to see a cow killed for me, but how many cows are killed for me a year? I eat meat and fish, should I stop?
I just finished watching The Cove.
This is where Pat would start laughing at me because he knows when I watch powerful films like that I get all wound up. It’s why I won’t watch Supersize Me. I’d rather not know all the horrible things. I think.
Ric O’Barry is the lead guy in The Cove and apparently Japan can’t stand the guy. They knew he was trying to out them on the slaughtering of dolphins they’ve been hiding and that’s exactly what he did.
It was like watching a real life Oceans 11 with a cast of experts in different fields that combine all their expertise to set up cameras to capture the behind the scenes killing sprees of these animals.
It’s horrifying. It’s especially horrifying if you believe these animals are social, family oriented creatures. And I do. And it’s even more horrifying when you realize Japan is turning around and selling the dolphin meat in supermarkets to families and disguising it as “whale meat”. Because dolphins are filled with mercury. And mercury is bad. So the families can’t know that’s what they’re eating. And they don’t know.
Ironically enough, Ric O’Barry spent the first ten years of his life capturing and training a handful of dolphins. He starred on the show Flipper and actually lived with the five dolphins that were used for that show. He feels like he’s part of what started the “I want to swim with dolphins” craze that has seemed to spread worldwide.
The craze I used to be on because OH MY GOSH how fun would it be to swim with dolphins!?! Guess I’ll knock that off my list of 30 things to do before I’m 30. And it’s a good thing because I’m 31 now and that’s one less thing for me to feel guilty for not accomplishing.
I hereby declare myself an activist against things that upset me enough to blog about. Which is to say:
America’s Obsession With Skinny.
and Dolphin Killing.
The good news is that the movie is doing great things. Japanese citizens who clearly were not aware any of this was going on, demanded the film be released to them. So far a temporary ban has been called on dolphin killing in Japan. Who knows if the fishermen are actually abiding by it.
Go to Take Part to learn more.
Thanks Laura
I used to make my cousin Laura do all my dirty work. She’s just a year younger. I don’t know why I felt such seniority over her. I’d hide behind bushes after forcing her to knock on doors of houses occupied by the lonely old widows in our neighborhood and force her to ask them for candy.
I’d smell the chocolate chip cookie goodness taunting me from her mother’s kitchen and I’d make her go back in and steal us a couple. Dozen. Her Mom also bought Ritz crackers that I enjoyed snacking on every now and again. Also stolen.
Thanks Laura.
I don’t know why she continued to love me as loyally as she did. Maybe because where I capitalized in leadership I wavered in athletic ability. Perhaps Laura worked off her “feed Kathy cookies” resentment by throwing in a couple extra jabs on the basketball court as she beat me every time we played….horse.
Fast forward.
Laura and I hooked up to play volleyball for a bit on a hot summer day with some friends. Fresh out of high school we didn’t do any cooler packing or lawn chair hauling. Crap we didn’t own coolers and lawn chairs. We were lucky if there was even enough gas in the car to get us to the park.
After a day of playing we were beyond thirsty. Walked around looking for something to drink. A water fountain? A puddle? ANYTHING! Noticed families celebrating birthdays and reunions and what not.
The sun was scorching.
me: Gotta love these huge family gatherings right?…wonder why our family has never come here to celebrate anything.
laura: Yeah this would be a cool place…GEEZ I’m thirsty.
me: me too.
laura: Do you even have any money??
me: What do I LOOK like?? Some kind of worker??
laura: Dang.
me: (eying a nearby cooler) You know, our family is huge….if we were to have a gathering like one of these, we wouldn’t even notice if someone came over and just…say…grabbed a drink.
laura: Yeah…we’d probably just think it was a second cousin or something.
me: I bet one of these big families wouldn’t even blink if we just happened to slip in and grab a drink.
laura: Probably not.
me: But you have to walk with purpose and really look like you belong.
laura: Wait, you’re serious right now!?!
me: What other OPTIONS do we have Laura?? You have to do this!!
laura: Why do *I* have to do it.
me: Because you’re GOOD at it, you always have been! You can totally pull it off.
And she did.
And. Everyone. Stared.
And we were mortified….but damn that drink tasted good.
Thanks Laura.
I’m fairly certain I can still work my magic with Laura.
Remember that labradoodle I told you I wanted? And how they cost around 2500 hundred from a really reputable breeder? What if Laura and I went to “visit” a litter of labradoodle puppies? Would they REALLY notice if we happened to smuggle one out of there? And by “we” I mean “Laura”?
I Can Wear Big Kid Pants Too
When do you first imagine yourself wishing you were older or bigger? Write about it.
Being little sucks.
I never liked it. And I’ve never been one of those people who wishes I could go back to the days when we ran free through our neighborhoods and picked blackberries on hot days and came home with purple fingers and really had no responsibilities to speak of.
Those were great days. But oh how easily we forget the firm restraint of our parent’s law. No candy. No late night tv watching. No eating whatever we wanted. No cereal for dinner. No ice cream at midnight while browsing facebook friends. No no no no no.
I hated being controlled.
My Mom was the boss of everything.
Nothing irked me more than being told to clean my room only to have The Boss stand there with her arms crossed, foot tapping, eyebrows raised, waiting for me to get up that very second to clean the damn room. I liked to do things on my own time…which usually meant never and is why she would stand there like that, but still! It was annoying.
I remember screaming at The Boss in a bout of frustration and hard headed humility as I slowly picked the “little cruddies” off my bedroom floor, “WHEN I’M BIG I’M GOING TO GET YOU BACK…” I yelled tried to think of something REALLY good to get her with and remembering her distaste for four legged creatures, “I’M GOING TO HAVE 100 DOGS and 100 CATS LIVING IN MY BASEMENT…..AND I’M GONNA INVITE YOU OVER AND LET’EM ALL OUT!!!”
I wanted to grow up so I could be the one spanking and The Boss could be the one under MY rule. A little too young to understand that’s not quite how growing up works.
I wanted to grow up so that any plans for my day were all made by ME. No one else. I wanted to be in charge. I wanted to be able to get a cat or go to McDonald’s or drive aimlessly for no reason just because I could. I wanted to be The Boss.
And now I am.
And my kids are slobs. And I ask them to brush their teeth and clean their rooms and pick up their messes because SOMEONE around here needs to teach them how to live more like humans and less like piglets. Only they don’t listen very well and I’m forced to bark my orders as opposed to requesting them nicely and I have to stand there and stare at them with my arms crossed, foot tapping, eyebrows raised, and wait for them to get UP to do whatever it is they need to do.
Yesterday Laina said she can’t wait to be big. You see, we refuse to take the kids to the video store when there are missing videos in the house. Duh. You can’t rent another video until the last one you rented is turned in. You’d think they’d stop losing their videos.
Instead I get this, “Mom! I’m gonna be big. An I’m gonna drive yer car all da time an go anywhere where I want to go. An I’m gonna go to da bideo store an get all da videos an I’m not gonna find dem. I’m just gonna get what one I wanna get an not find ANY.”
Yes Laina. You grow up and YOU be that big Boss you’re hoping to be. And YOU rack up $50 in fines on your lost videos and keep renting videos and have yourself a good. ol. time.
The House Of Mouse: Black Eye’s Big Day
I had a feeling Black Eye would die.
That’s just kind of the way things go with us and pets.
It would SO be my luck that I decide the mouse needs to be fixed and inevitably make the choice that will ultimately kill him and my kids’ faith in me.
Laina cried when we dropped him off and I was starting to doubt myself.
Maybe she liked him more than I thought?
Maybe this wasn’t worth the risk…
But we had already said our goodbyes, the appointment was made, and the animal doctor already had his cage in her back office.
I hadn’t thought out what I would tell the girls if things “didn’t work out”.
Around 3pm yesterday I got the call.
Black Eye MADE IT!!!
He’s alive!!!
I’m thrilled. When we picked him up the surgeon exclaimed “That was FUN!!!”
I’m glad she enjoyed herself.
She also warned me that Black Eye could “self mutilate” and pick at the incision area and that ultimately his intestines could fall out so I might want to keep him in MY room as it might be traumatizing for the girls to find a dead mouse sans intestines.
She made no mention of how *I* might feel having a dead mouse in MY room, but you know, people just don’t care about moms like they used to.
Black Eye needs to stay in his cage for one week and then we can begin the process of reuniting him with his wife and daughter.
Exciting indeed.
The House Of Mouse: Black Eye’s Big Surprise
It’s time for a mouse update.
Before I left for Baltimore I thought it would be wise to bring the babies to the pet store lest I come home to a tank filled with even more babies.
The girls wanted to keep a female white one so we picked one out of the litter and she now resides with her mother.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed they’re both girls.
In the mean time Black Eye has been living alone.
And I’ve been watching him because I like having my own Animal Planet here and from what I’ve noticed, Black Eye is unhappy. He needs a companion. I’ve been warned not to put another mouse in with him. He’ll impregnate a female mouse and he’ll fight a male mouse and none of that even matters because I already know what Black Eye wants.
He wants his wife back.
He wants his wife and what’s left of the children he created with her and he wants to be a family again. He climbs the bars of his cage, he chews at them vigorously, he’s constantly looking for a way out and he didn’t use to be like that.
Who am I to stand in the way of the dreams of a pet mouse?
You might not like the decision I decided to decide.
Black Eye is getting neutered today.
I called the vet and it’s all set up. She has neutered/spayed guinea pigs and hamsters, but has never done a mouse. It’s risky. She sounds confident. But she warned me that we could lose him. I’m nervous.
I don’t want Black Eye’s blood on my hands, but I also don’t want him trapped in this cage for the rest of his life without his family, so as you can see I had no other options. HE BACKED ME INTO A CORNER DAMMIT! I cannot be held responsible for his death.
Please don’t die Black Eye. My oh my how I will cry. Stay alive Black Eye. Amen.
Here I am breaking the news to the girls:
Did I ever show you this one of White Eye moving the babies one by one to their new house (the one I proudly put together for them)?
Did Black Eye make it?? Click here and find out.