My biggest weakness: I’m not a cleaner.
No one ever told me bathtubs do not self clean.
No one ever told me the toilets should gleam
No one ever told me that I’d need to try
But I never asked and now I know why
No one ever told me my kids would need to be fed
No one ever told me thinking up meals would hurt my head
No one ever told me my food would make them cry
But I never asked and now I know why.
No one ever told me I’d need to scrub all the baseboards
No one ever told me it’s something I would not get praise for
No one ever told me I’d have to dust the blinds
But I never asked and now I know why
No one ever told me laundry would drive me crazy
No one ever told me it’s not cool being lazy.
No one ever told me it’d be enough to make me cry
But I never asked and now I know why
And it’s because cleaning freaking sucks.
{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
We are true soul sisters. I hate cleaning. Every day I pray for the day for my kids to be old enough to do it for me.
Oh yeah me and cleaning are not good friends. I crave a spotless house and then I open my eyes and realize that since I’m not about to do the work and I know the men in my home won’t, unless I win the lottery my house will never be that clean.
–>I clean the house and if my husband dares to make a comment about something I missed, I UNLEASH. Thankfully, he’s very tidy himself so I don’t have to pick up after him too.
~deb
You are freaking hilarious!! Love this!
you are so right. and now i’ve been reminded it’s time to clean baseboards and blinds- SHOOT- the downfall of spring.
AMEN.
I have to agree, it does suck and I hate it. There’s to much of it to do around here too!
What?! I have to clean baseboards!? Meh.
..and doing home childcare just increases the cleaning twofold! I find boogers where I’d never imagine finding boogers…and slobber stains on my couch…blech!
I’ve thought about doing home daycare, but you’ve just settled it for me – I can barely handle all the bodily fluids that come out of my own kids! HAHA!
haha! That was great! I love to clean so I’ll be there in a little bit to scrub your baseboards :)
I’m not laughing at your misery, but this post did make me giggle. I also hate to clean and I only have a 400 square foot apartment. The thought of upgrading to a house is enough to give me a mild panic attack. Where does one find the time? I come home after a long day in the office, and just want to kick off the heels, and watch TV for the rest of the evening.
Give yourself credit for all that you do!
Lol! Love this poem and yeah I hate cleaning
That’s one that I was going to do today, too, but I’m going to have to save it for another day..or not at all since you just made my thoughts about that post look bad. I opted to do Post-It’s with Supah today. And, I won’t be cleaning either.
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!! I’m with you it sucks!… I’d like to add feeding the cat.
I HIZZATE cleaning baseboards. They’re the worst!
I hate cleaning, but I hate a dirty house even more. So I’m just forever screwed.
No one ever told me my hubby wouldn’t know how to help
Ok…soul sister. Inside me there is a neat freak trying to get out (LOL)… I tried to flush that B**CH down the toilet but it just overflowed! Dang it! More mess to clean up. You’re right… cleaning SUCKS!!!
Amen sista!!!
AMEN, sister! Woot woot!
AMEN!
I think it may be easier to just replace the blinds than actually clean them. And I realized the other day that it is time to clean all the doors and trim in the house. Word of advice, do NOT look at your house from kid level.
Indeed, cleaning DOES freaking suck! I was dusting my blinds today in fact. I did one window’s worth and abandoned the whole operation. It DID however enable me to catch my neighbor lawn guy use a leaf blower to blow all of her leaves onto OUR lawn, which my husband spent two hours raking last weekend. So that was super.
I am the total opposite – I love to clean, I think its the OCD part of me that is causing this or maybe growing up with a neat freak mother. I usually have a pretty messy kitchen though but everything else is generally super clean…lol I need help!
You are speaking my language. I hate cleaning so much that I just don’t. Actually just the other day my mom, who doesn’t live with me, told me I suck a keeping house. And I said, well thank you because this is my goal.
I totally hate cleaning–great post.
Amen!
I can relate 100%!
LOVE this! I’m going to print it out and put it on my fridge. :-P
I feel your pain! I swept and mopped and dusted and vacuumed yesterday and now I am sore. I also rode a bike on Friday…that probably didn’t help. The thing is I can clean but after my kids are home 5 minutes, it is screwed up again!
Amen, sista! I’m just glad right now it doesn’t take too long for us to clean because we don’t have kids and we only have a one bedroom apartment! I don’t know how we are going to have time to clean a whole house!!
I shudder to think what my home is going to look like once a child lives there also. I have a hard enough time cleaning up after my cats.
Granted they are some very sheddy cats.
Cleaning. Totally overrated.
I hate it too. Perhaps you could kick start some sort of online society??
OMG, does it ever suck.
Which is why I’m ignorning it to try to catch up a little bit on blogs instead.
I DESPISE cleaning. Hate hate hate it. But you would think that it would be ingrained in me since my mom has a house that is like model-home clean. She cleans at least one room every day. And explain to me….how is it that a bathtub we have never ever ever used can get so dirty??
Amen girl! I never realized how hard it was to live in my own house with my own chores that I don’t even get an allowance for! It sucks!
I always wish for a maid, but look around and yep it’s still just me ;)
LOL!! I hate cleaning bathrooms and laundry also!! I don’t like cleaning but I like a clean house so I do it but I just cringe at those two things. RAR
wait!?! we are supposed to clean baseboards? and dust blinds? and plan actual meal for all these little mouths?!!!
I hate cleaning too … but, my mom hit me over the head with it for so long, that I feel guilty when I don’t clean.
No seriously, it is all the fault of those SCRUBBING BUBBLES commercials! They LIED, they lied like Tiger Woods.
AMEN! Cleaning sucks, which is why I catch up on blog reading instead :)
Ah, finally an anthem for my life!
When we moved, my mother was helping us. She made the mistake of asking the last time we had cleaned the oven, blinds, and behind the fridge. She was met with a bunch of empty looks. Who knew you were supposed to clean behind the fridge? I’m lucky if I clean what’s in front of the fridge, and even luckier if I clean inside the fridge!
What you lack in cleaning you more than make up for with your wit, humor and writing talents! You are very clever, so don’t worry about not being a cleaning woman.
Oh girl. I am with you on the baseboards! Okay, everything actually. I do load after load of laundry…turn around….poof. It’s back. That such a sucky magic trick!
Amen sister!
I often wonder if my dislike for cleaning is more related to personality or the fact that I only ever had to do real cleaning as a punishment and all the bedroom cleaning I did was always followed up by my mother doing it the “right” way. She never told me I did it wrong, I would just return to my room later and find it all different.
Oh, suck it does!
A-fricken-men!!!
Oh, AMEN!! Stupid baseboards.
I so hate cleaning as well! That is why God gave me children isn’t it?
And I made a joke one time about not knowing you had to actually feed babies, and someone took me totally serious and thought I was a complete moron! Dang I was born at night, but it wasn’t LAST night! Sheesh
I agree.
I don’t totally hate cleaning, but when you lay it out like that….I don’t know I am having second thoughts….
Love your poem.
Sadie at heyMamas
Amen sista!
AMEN! LOL… This post is great. I feel the same way a lot. Ugh, I have to dust the blinds? Yikes, better get on that.
Hey you posted early…lol…I love the way you made it rhyme…I hate cleaning too, in fact I wonder how long it has been since I dusted?
Amen. I hate cleaning. Stuff like blinds and baseboards are just horrible. Everyday type cleaning is bad enough.
You speak the truth! So funny!
I totally agree with you. In fact, I’m thinking I need to get a job outside the house so I can avoid some of the cleaning duties. : ) You should stop by and read this post I wrote after a one-time 4 hr. cleaning job. Geesh! Click on the November 2009 category and look for “Not my Typical Day”.
Ha ha! This is awesome. :)
No ever said poetry had to be deep, just true and real and gritty! That’s kind of how I feel about cleaning. It doesn’t have to be deep…
When my daughter was young She said to me Mommy I want to be just like you when I grow up! she said I want to be a stay at home with my kids and do nothing all day! she thinks I do nothing all day? I reminded her of the nothing I do all day by having her help me, she said I get now Mom. Then she got older and said she wanted a real good job that paid a good salary so she could hire help, a housekeeper. She doesn’t like to clean or pick up her mess and who always did it for her, Mommy of coarse . When my 3 kids were babies, young children I didn’t like cleaning to much either I rather spend the time with the kids, but when they were teens and I started going through menopause I started to clean and even liked it, so weird. Your poem is great, I so want my daughter to read it!