I don’t know if you’re on the up and up with the blog drama going around, but allow me to add fuel.
A journalist for the New York Times spent the day with us at Bloggy Boot Camp in Baltimore. She interviewed a bunch of moms and was incredibly friendly and we were thrilled to have one of our own help spread the word in a way that might help other moms find a community they too, can lean on and learn from.
Bloggy Boot Camp was created by Tiffany and Heather of SITS as a way to:
a.) impart pearls of wisdom to bloggers who are fairly new to the community.
b.) Empower bloggers who might not be new, but could use some sound advice on how to grow their blog.
and
c.) foster the relationships women are forming online by providing a safe space to meet and be merry.
The article that was published is titled, “Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Too Busy Building My Brand” and it’s getting plenty of reactions from mom bloggers everywhere because the first half insinuates that mommy bloggers can’t be great moms and blog at the same time.
That because we’re blogging, we’re not interested in “sneaking vegetables into our kids’ meals” or teaching our babies to read. The hilarious part about that is that many of us are blogging about SNEAKING VEGETABLES INTO OUR KIDS’ MEALS!! I find it incredible that we, as mother’s who blog, can be criticized for not being attentive to the very subjects some of us blog about.
You gotta love a society that in one breath expresses the importance of mother’s having “me” time and the idea that if mother is happy then EVERYBODY’s happy, and in the next breath criticizes women for spending time on a hobby that makes it possible for some to help with their family finances.
After going on and on to Pat about how irritated I was with the article, he tried to stay balanced and asked me three interesting questions, here’s the gist of our conversation:
1.) “Why do you care about this when the article wasn’t even directed towards you?”
“Because it was directed to mommy bloggers EVERYWHERE! And I am one. And I was there and I feel like they totally missed the mark on what that conference was about…plus those are my friends they’re being snarky about! How much do you want to bet that the rude attitude journalists take towards mommy bloggers comes from the knowledge that there are some mommy bloggers making more money writing than they are and we didn’t have to leave our families or get a degree to do it.”
2.) “Since when can’t you take a couple jabs and not roll with it?”
“Since they’re picking on something I’m sensitive about and I desperately want to be a good mom and I try so hard. To have people criticizing what I do makes me second guess myself and sometimes I DO feel like maybe I should get off the computer and pretend I’m interested in a bug Kainoa sees on the door and oh. my. gosh you’re RIGHT! Me being offended by this totally stems from mother’s guilt!! Can we never shake the mother’s guilt!?! If I stopped blogging and spent every moment of every day tuned in to what my kids are saying and doing and learning and baking chocolate chip cookies, than I’d be desperate and lonely for adult interaction and for a way to express myself as an individual. But if I spend fractions of my day tuned in to people who keep me from feeling lonely and occupying myself with an outlet for my creative genius and I skip the chocolate chip cookies, then I get criticized for not being a perfect mom. It’s a lose lose. I can’t win.”
and finally,
3.) “What’s for dinner?”
“You know…I am SO fed up with The Man right. Make your own dinner and get me a mimosa STAT! I gotta go find that bug Kainoa was talking about and teach someone to read around here. These kids are IDIOTS and it’s ALL. MY. FAULT!”
In short.
I’m tired of defending mommy bloggers.
As it turns out it IS possible to raise amazing children AND blog at the same time. If you can make some money in the process? Bravo.
In fact, I am here to tell you that you can raise amazing children, run a home daycare, breed a colony of mice, keep a house clean, maintain friendships, volunteer for field trips, foster rescue dogs, manage finances, cook a mean lasagna, grocery shop, workout, paint your nails, spend hours at Target, keep your man happy *wink wink*, blog AND make money at the same time.
Why? Because we’re women and we’re amazing and we don’t need a newspaper to validate us.
We have each other.
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You go Kat! All of this was so well said! I had no clue about the article since I don’t read the papers, but jeesh, was that the reporter’s intentions from the get-go? And by the way, your house is filthy.
Just kidding.
Justine :o )
Kat, you just need to use your Wonderwomen shield to deflect the bullets ;)
Mom’s know that we are the multi-taskers of the universe. There no audience for that article. We are feeding the animal by blogging about it.
Better to blog about dinner. Shake’n'bake for us – old faithful ;)
Wow, souns like SOMEONE needs to get a life! You’ve gotta be kidding me. I swear! I wonder if Mrs. New York Times has kids?? Maybe she could’ve been reading to them or fixing them vegetables in the time it took her to write an article talking crap about other moms! Maybe she should quit her job as a writer and be a SAHM. Either that or shut it!
The article definitely got my blood boiling. I love blogging, and I love reading people’s blogs and making new bloggy friends.
Better go teach my one year olds to read now, since apparently I’m a slacker bloggy mom…
Is it crazy that this post made me cry?
Mainly because I do deal with mommy guilt ALL.THE.TIME and I hate having it shoved in my face but then to have it forced on friends as well…just plain old sucks.
You said women blog about what they do at home and omgosh, you couldn’t say truer words. isn’t that what connects us all together and why we turn to each other for recipe tips, child rearing tips, homeschooling tips, potty training tips, etc?
I think the problem is we mommy bloggers are making newspapers like the NY Times realize THEY are a dying breed and rather than they embrace us, they are striking out. Stupidly.
Thank you for putting it so beautifully Kat. I knew there was a reason I have you on a pedistal ;)
very well said, kat. *applaud*
i remember the time when i had my son and i couldnt blog because i was so busy with the baby and other things, and no adult would talk to me for long periods because they were busy…looking back, i realized that i was short-tempered with everyone. i was hit by post-partum depression. now that i’m blogging more often (or read other mommy blogs), i find that i’m happier and more patient, maybe a bit more understanding.
blogging is my way to de-stress and to connect with other moms, to exchange ideas with. it’s important for us moms to know that we are not alone in wiping grape jelly off our kids’ face clean, that our child will eventually learn how to aim at the toilet when he pees, that things will get better. that WE experience the same thing, undergo the same thing, wherever we are.
ms. new york times may be leading a very sad life…
Great post! I personally feel a bit more well rounded since I’ve been posting a blog. I feel more connected to the world, friends, and family. In a way, I see why people keep journals and this is a type of journal, as it reminds us in writing of some of the things we live for. Why we laugh. How to become better at whatever interests us. I suppose one could get out of hand in the blogland but as far as I can tell, it is not the mommies doing it. Your list sums up what we are and we are awesome moms just a little bit more sane thanks to this literary outlet. There really is a part of our brains that need stretching and this helps.
That NEWSPAPER CAN SUCK IT!!!
That “woman” was away from her children during the interview… why wasn’t she teaching someone to read????
You are 100 percent right. Truthfully the article didn’t even bother me because I felt like she was just a hater and who’s the fool here, her or us? Exactly what you said above, if she could stay home, raise kids and blog while contributing to the household, uh, yeah, the problem with that is what?
And a big WHATEVER to people that are judging Mother’s for exploring other ways to be creative and entrepreneurial while maintaning their families, honestly they are just haters.
Sadie at heyMamas
Amen, sister. Amen. Preach it.
Loved it. So very true – what on EARTH is so wrong with a mommy blog? It’s not like we are out snorting lines of coke or throwing a sleeve of Saltines out to our kids who are out wearing nothing but a diapers and mud.
It’s insane.
You make me laugh though…
Very well said! I can’t believe that a fellow mommy blogger would put her fellow blog moms to shame. Sorry to hear she feels that way.
Kat, just following the drama. I read the NYT post on Facebook and have been following the conversation there, as well as on SITS. Throughout history, women have had to defend their lifestyle choices, and mommy guilt is an ubiquitous plague.
Amen! You said it beautifully!
Amen Amen! I would like to know how you keep a clean house. I haven’t figured that one out yet. ;)
I wish I had discovered bloggy world when my kids were younger. I’ve been missing out on some great fun! I definitely feel a mom who has a creative outlet, be it blogging, or painting, or crafting, or whatever, is a happier mom. And happier moms have happier families, no matter what anyone else says.
I’m just catching up all of this hoopla. Stange that she came out and joined you guys at the conference and then decided to talk crap. WTF??
We also have a long list of drugs that keep us on our toes….
Right on. Keep up the great work!!
Wow. Um. Wow. That artical was, well a little uncalled for. I personally have become a better mom, done more with my son, and had a million new, good ideas fed to me by other mommy bloggers. Blogging and reading blogs takes up less than an hour a day, for me, and it is totally worth it.
I recently found out that I am having twins. I had a mild panic attack, searched the blog world to find mothers of multiples blogs, made a few friends to talk me through this change, and feel a whole lot better. Without those mommy blogs, I would still be freaking out, as this happened two weeks ago.
Mommy blogs are a great resource for moms who want to be better moms. It’s the best resource I have found, I have learned more from blogs than all the books and magazines I have read combined.
Shame on her, the author. She either doesn’t get it or doesn’t care.
is that an apron you wearing?? if so I love & where did you get it!!!?? i need one!!
Oh no she didn’t!!! Thanx for this article. How dare they judge us. I think blogging is the best way to make a brand, make a living and get to spend time with your kids. Corporate America sure won’t give a damn if your kids ends up sick and you need to stay home with them.
Placing judgment on a mom’s creative monetary outlet is rude and ridiculous.
Thanx for sticking up for us chica!
Oh and I hear you with the mimosa thing. ;)
This is yet another reason why I don’t read the NY Times. They can suck it! Mommy bloggers rock! And now, I am craving a mimosa!
I read the article and like you was very irritated with her obvious disdain for what the boot camp was about.. I fired off my response lol.. http://singedwingangel.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-think-new-york-times-just-stepped-on.html
I prefer not to talk about my blogging to non-bloggers, so often their distaste is as open as the cheap ridicule of Trekies. It’s as if the concept of chronicling something is so out there and lacking value. I love how they dismiss it as a hobby or time-suck and then spend so much time trying to poke holes, piss us off or find ways to profit from our work. Bah. May their be mold in their blasted sippy cups one day.
Amen, sister! Mimosas sound good right now, but margaritas will work too.
You go Mama Kat! I’m not a mommy blogger, but kudos to you all that are. It’s hard enough for me to write, babysit, clean house, and take care of my parents. I can’t imagine having to do all that, and take care of little kiddos too. You mamas are something else! Break out the Wonder Woman costume girlfriend, just because!!
Right on sister.
The New York Times article was a great, fun piece about a group of bloggers that is quickly gaining clout. An important 21st Century trend piece and a fascinating read for anyone outside this world.
It was so clearly not directed at the Mommy bloggers, but to the New York Times’ global readership – a demographic that spans age groups, nationalities, sexual orientation and family composition.
Love it!!!!!!!!!! Really loved this post!
Amen, sister!
it seems rather underhand, going to the conference like that and then writing all the bad stuff, but that is what some journalists consider good writing. It’s a shame but not worth getting too upset about. Life goes on the same as ever regardless as to whether some paper says one thing or another.
So thrilled to be reading some of the excellent responses to that piece, that are frankly much better written than the original and probably will gain more attention from those of us who matter (yup, the mamas who blog).
Keep doing your thing Kat and don’t let The Man get you down ;-)
I think you’re so right, Kathy! I mean, honestly, I don’t understand why it’s not possible for a mother to blog and take care of her children. Those journalists have JOBS and I’m sure they manage to take care of their children, right? Let’s start criticizing working moms while we’re at it, k?
Why must they act like it’s ALL people do, too? I think we all have lives outside of blogging otherwise no one would have material to blog about. It’s not like we’re glued to a computer 24/7…I mean, sometimes it feels like it, but in reality, we’re NOT!
WOW…. how insulting. Good response back from you though.
Well said! I have learned more about being a good mom, wife, business owner, friend, and blogger because of this blog network we are privileged to be a part of.
AMEN!!
I came across this NYT article earlier this week, which led me to the Scary Mommy blog and then to your blog post– about the NYT article. I was surprised by your views because I didn’t remember anything negative at all about the NYT article. I just went back to read it again to see if I was missing something.
When the author of the NYT article wrote about hiding vegetables and teaching babies to read– she was making fun of silly fads in parenting (Come on, a whole cookbook about hiding vegetables in desserts and such? Teaching a BABY to read???) She seemed to be trying to make the point that mommy blogs are what many moms are interested in now. The author disclosed that she’s a mommy blogger as well. What I got out of the article was that it was so wonderful that moms like you have a professional and emotional outlet– doing something which can actually be quite lucrative.
I can see why you got upset about the title, but it came across to me as a way to grab the reader’s attention to read the story. I didn’t notice anything in the story that said that mothers were ignoring their children to blog. I’m sure that most people who are NYT readers understand the irony of the title.
I just barely began blogging and read the article in the NYTimes. I appreciated the article and it made me even more excited to continue with my own blog. I was surprised by the reaction to the article, but thought your comments were great. I have four kids and feel like the blogging is really helping me be a better mom. I look for connections that otherwise I wouldn’t, just to have something to blog about. I think writing about things we are experiencing is healing – especially things that are hard and that all moms experience. Thanks for your thoughts. I will return to your blog for sure.
I saw the article and was quickly disgusted. I’ve been blogging since forever although only just recently put an extra effort into it (never even heard of SEO before!) but I can relate to what you wrote…once when my son was in the hospital due to bronchiolitis, after a whole night trying to console a sick baby who’s crying his head off and tried to wiggle out of his oxygen tent, I came home defeated and blog, thanking my friends who texted me, sending emails to wish him well, then suddenly someone started criticizing me saying I am a BAD MOMMY because I managed to post something when my son was in the hospital. WTH?! These people failed to recognized how therapeutic writing (blogging) is for me thus I’m a bad mommy? It hurts a lot more than I can stomach to hear that comment so yes, that article is very wrong. If only I was still in the States, I would love to join the SITS’ Bloggy Boot Camp! Btw: you’re one of my fave Mommy Blogger!
I don’t have any children, but my dog takes no offense at my blogging. As a matter of fact, she’s just happy I’m home. The Times needs to find more crackheads to target; creatively writing in an attempt to be heard just doesn’t qualify as irresponsible behavior.
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