Writer’s Workshop: That One Time I Put My Foot In My Mouth

Describe a moment when you put your foot in your mouth.

This prompt so strongly speaks to me. I have, what my daycare assistant/friend likes to call diarrhea of the mouth. When I’m uncomfortable I just ramble to fill silence. I have to physically remind myself to shut my mouth. And by “physically remind myself” I mean I cover my mouth with both hands and shake my head violently.

I could talk about the time I called a daycare parent to let them know their little one had taken a good fall, but that she seemed fine and they could rest assured I would call again if she “starts seizuring or something.”

Or the time I was gathered with five of my closest friends and singled one out in front of everybody to ask her WHO she hung out with in high school only for her to look at me blankly and say, “you guys.”

Or the time in college when I received a phone call from my best friend’s boyfriend who was all “I found out she’s dating someone new” and I was all “Ohhh…she told you?” and he was all “No. You just did.”

Or the time I insisted a girl in my class had stained her tooth with the Alexander Grapes she was eating and after drawing as much attention to her blue tooth as I possibly could, realized it was actually a bruised tooth and would keep that bluish hue throughout our high school careers.

Or the time that guy with the crossed eyes turned to ask me a question, and after looking to either side of me in an attempt to figure out who he was talking to, he was all “no I’m talking to you…my eyes are just messed up like this.”

Or that one time I blogged about that one thing and that person took it the wrong way and I felt bad. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

Or the time in ninth grade when my friend and I thought it was hysterical to take drinks of our water and then pretend to seizure only to have our coach pull us aside with a lesson about how her son has epilepsy and how we were totally and completely offending her every time we did that.

Or the time I wrote a bunch of posts about my psycho assistant(ex) only to have her discover them, get offended, quit her job, and attempt to bring the daycare down with her.

Oops.

The ol’ foot in the mouth routine is nothing new to me. I do this kind of crap far too often. And as much as I despise that moment of realization when I just said something I really shouldn’t have said…I continue to put myself in these situations.

Because I’m super smart.

And I talk too much.

Now it’s your turn!

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back and sign Mr. Linky. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Write about an experience you have had with a celebrity.
2.) Who have you forgotten about until right now? Think hard and list five people from your past that you really should have written something about by now but haven’t. Circle the name of the person who stands out the strongest. Write a description or brief memoir of that person.
3.) List five things you would do different if you started blogging today.
4.) The world is going to come to an end unless you get a tattoo that covers your entire back. Describe the tattoo you’ll get.
5.) Describe a moment when you put your foot in your mouth.

Mama's Losin' It

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Comments

  1. says

    Glad to see your ex assistant didn’t take you down with her. I just had a huge drama with my in home day care person and her assistant quit/got fired and shared a few things with us. Yeah not so fun!! Single handedly destroyed her business, but then again from all the investigations, police and licensing, she should be destroyed!

    And I don’t see any of it as putting your foot in your mouth, more so it is having a great sense of humor!

  2. angie says

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading about these incidents. I particularly liked all the drama revolving around the assistant. And the misplaced camera. :)

  3. says

    I tick people off on a semi-regular basis on my blog. They’ll get over it.

    One time, I said that folks who attended Wrestlemania events (back when it was all the rage) had the “IQ of a kumquat”.

    Apparently, the elementary school principal at the PTA meeting took exception to my comment (as he had the hard-to-come-by tickets in his wallet). Oops.

  4. says

    LOL OMG that’s ex-assistant sounds scary tho’. Btw, I think I’m having problem with linking your button to my blog post, it won’t show up :( Will try to fix it in a few.

  5. says

    Really? Who knew you could actually bruise a tooth?

    I’m sure I have lots of things I could write about from when I’ve put my foot in my mouth but none are coming to me right now. They were probably so morbid that my mind just won’t allow me to return to the moment!

    Great post!

  6. says

    I think we all have those moments. I know I spent most nights talking to myself in my bedroom… “Man! I wish I woulda said this…” “I wish I woulda said that…” At least you are getting good blogging out of it!

  7. says

    I think we all have those moments. I know I spent most nights talking to myself in my bedroom in high school… “Man! I wish I woulda said this…” “I wish I woulda said that…” At least you are getting good blogging out of it!

  8. TravelMom says

    How is it that I woke up at 4 am and I am STILL #10 on the list. Wow Mama, you are popular :-)

  9. says

    But if you didn’t put your foot in your mouth then what would you write about?

    Its just a lovable quirk that you have. ;)

  10. says

    Yup … I have those problems too … it only seems to get … ummm … “enhanced” when alcohol is involved.

  11. says

    LOL! My husband tells me I have diarrhea of the mouth too. I chose this prompt also, as I’ve said other things that are too funny.
    Glad to know I”m not the only one:)

  12. says

    I must say….that’s quite an impressive list of foot-in-mouth incidents! Good thing I don’t have friends and that I’m a complete introvert and anti-social….great way to keep that good ole foot of mine out of my mouth. A little sad and lonely though, but I’ve got the husband and baby to keep me company :)

  13. says

    Something about this post makes me glad that I don’t actually know you in real life! Just kidding … kind of…sorta. Wait … did I just put my foot in MY mouth?

  14. Heather says

    I chose this prompt too (my first one ever). I can’t really compare to your collection of feet-in-mouth, they were some doozies!

  15. KLZ says

    I hear you! The things that have come out of my mouth while at the doctors and “uncomfortable” was unreal.

  16. Stephanie says

    Oh yeah the whole think before you speak button is missing from my frontal lobe as well. But at least it makes for some interesting blog material!

  17. Nolie says

    Ouch! Sounds like your foot has left a toothbrush at mouth’s house as well. Or foot should really consider it. I liked the boyfriend one though “No you just told me”. That is a classic. I have had that happen as well.

  18. Neena says

    Too funny! But I love people like you – they always have something to say. I tend to be cautious and can’t come up with something to fill up those awkward silences.

  19. says

    I totally wanted to write about this prompt today because I do this ALL the time, but I’m so bad I can’t even remember when I’ve done it. For real. I just need to not talk.

  20. says

    I have diarrhea of the mouth too. I wish there was some medication I could take, like speech immodium or something. Hand over mouth, or foot in mouth, still doesn’t hold me back sometimes :)

  21. says

    I almost did this prompt too… My husband often says that one day I am going to get him beat up. Only because I am going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and that person will not go for me, as I am a LADY, but they will sock one in his jaw FOR me.

    Chivalry.

    I think those of us who… ahem- speak too soon are just excitable people who love observing life. Don’t you???

  22. says

    I am sorry and don’t mean to laugh at you “condition” but I was laughing out loud when I read your post. Life you couldn’t make it up!!

  23. says

    Oh man all of those sound like horrible experiences! Ive put my foot in my mouth a few times too and I always hate to be the person to tell secrets before anyone else.

  24. says

    Oh my gosh, I wish I could comment on just one of your guffaw’s but they are all so stinkin’ hilarious! Bwahahahahahahaha. Better you then me, right?! At least until the next time I open mouth and insert foot.

  25. says

    I hate the feeling that happens in my stomach when I have made a huge blunder. The worst is you don’t realize what a mistake you made until you are a few days past the stiutation and then it hits you… Then people just think you are a total idiot…as opposed to a half brain. Enjoyed your post!

  26. says

    This are absolutely hilarious. It’s a good thing I’m a little shy, and tend to be quiet, because I think things like this all the time. And then think about how lucky I am that I didn’t say it out loud.

  27. says

    Okay, those are a tad embarassing, but in all fairness that ex-boyfriend of a friend in college was a dweeb to do that. That one was totally not your fault. In fact, he probably learned it from fake TV cop shows.

  28. Dianna says

    I have to laugh, since if I totaled up all the time I spend extracting my foot from my mouth, it would be YEARS of my life.
    Carry on, honest sister!

  29. says

    I’m quite certain that I’ve done things like this more than a time or two…I just can’t remember any of them. They definitely make for good stories later, too. <— That's the sad part!

  30. says

    Aw, Mama Kat, the number one thing I’m looking forward to in heaven (well besides seeing Jesus) is NEVER sticking my foot in my mouth again! But if you never talked you wouldn’t say all the wonderful stuff you say that encourages people either.

  31. says

    That was great! Though, I’m certain that being in those situations isn’t great in the least. Thank you for sharing!

  32. says

    Oh my goodness. Hahahaha. I think I have this same problem, but I also blocked it out so I don’t have to relive it.

  33. says

    I just stumbled across your blog after reading someone else’s Writer’s Workshop post — I love this idea! I’m adding you to my reader, because I’d love to play along!

    I was cringing (and I have to admit…laughing) as I was reading this post, and unfortunately can relate…I have an almost terminal case of Foot-in-Mouth-Disease. The one about the girl in high school with the bruised tooth…oh my word! You both must have been beyond mortified after that!

  34. says

    The other day at a large department store I was returning somehing and overheard one of the cashier say, “If I keep this up I’ll go into labor early and have this baby right here”.
    Whithout looking up, I said, “oh, cool, you’re pregnant, cogratulations”.
    “Do I look pregnant?”, she snapped.
    “I don’t know if you look pregnant or not, but you just said you were going to have your baby early”, I said trying to escape.
    “oh, no, I’ve already had three”, she said.
    “You are so stupid”, her coworker said, leaving me enough cover to get out of there.

  35. says

    I am the queen of foot in the mouth — I would have blogged about this topic if I hadn’t been doing a cake giveaway that day. I can look back on so many moments and cringe. I think the good thing about us is that we SEE it and we try not to. We probably do it less than if we didn’t have a clue. And you know we ALL know someone without that clue, or perhaps who just doesn’t care about saying things that hurt or embarass others. Either way, I’d rather be us any day of the week!

  36. says

    LMAO!! Yeah, years ago when I worked at Blockbuster Video, we had a regular customer. Maybe in her 50′s. She was medium sized. One day when I saw her, she looked pregnant. Stupid me actually ASKED her when she was due!! LMAO Whoops! Her reply, “Oh, I’m not pregnant. I’m too old for that.” All I can say is, I probably turned all the shades of red. AND…I will NEVER ask someone when they are due….just to be on the safe side…LMAO!

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