First of all allow me to address the fact that locally your show has moved from it’s 11am time slot to a convenient 3pm time slot. To this I say wahoo. If I’m being totally honest I’ll say that 2pm is even more convenient, but we’ll work on that later.
More than anything I’m just glad to have you on day time television so I can stop pretending I watch you every morning. Friendship is about honesty and honesty is about telling people what is on your mind…and telling people about what is on your mind is about meeting up for coffee, and since you’re so busy with your show it might be easiest for me to just come there to chat. For convenience. It doesn’t feel right going this long without connecting. I’m starting to really feel the distance.
I guess it’s true what they say about long distance relationships. Heck they’re a lot of work even when BOTH people are trying…say nothing of the celebrity status and busy schedules involved in our case. I want you to know the “celebrity” means nothing to me. It was never important. And I will never let it all go to my head.
The great Jennifer Lopez once said it best when she said, “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got. I’m still I’m still Jenny from the Block.” I believe what she is saying here is “my large collection of rocks (rocks symbolizing wealth) might fool you into thinking that’s all I care about…but it’s not”.
And that’s what I say to you Ellen. Don’t let my rocks fool you. Or intimidate you. I’m not about my rocks. And my name is not Jenny. But you can call me Jenny if you want to.
You can also call me relieved. Because Ellen…Twitter told me you were having mommy bloggers on your show for Mother’s Day. I didn’t want to believe it was so. You can ignore me all you want, but I can think of no greater pain than the pain of watching an Ellen Show filled with mommy bloggers that doesn’t consist of me.
And then I thought maybe this was it. Maybe the Mother’s Day mommy blogger show was going to be the surprise phone call I’ve been waiting for. I practiced my scream and feigned shock. I kept the lines open and waited.
But you know what? God bless soon to be first time mothers. And God bless you for having them on your Mother’s Day show. My faith in our relationship has been renewed, the foundation in my letter writing campaign has not been cracked, and long distance or not…we’re going to make it!
All my love,
- Letter #1: I’ve Contacted Ellen Degeneres
- Letter #2: A Tentative Date With Ellen
- Letter #3: Ellen And I Hate The Paparazzi
- Letter #4: Ellen And I Are Like Soulmates
- Letter #5: Ellen “Qwacks” Me Up
- Letter #6: Ellen And I Have A LOT In Common.
- Letter #7: Ellen’s Hidden Jewel
- Letter #8: Ellen Is Destroying A Little Girl’s Dreams
- Letter #9: Ellen is my Pen Pal
- Letter #10: Ellen’s Huge Surprise
- Letter #11: Ellen Is Like Wonder Woman.
- Letter #12: My Christmas Wish