Dear Ellen (letter 14): Ellen Is Not Fooled By The Rocks That I Got

First of all allow me to address the fact that locally your show has moved from it’s 11am time slot to a convenient 3pm time slot. To this I say wahoo. If I’m being totally honest I’ll say that 2pm is even more convenient, but we’ll work on that later.

More than anything I’m just glad to have you on day time television so I can stop pretending I watch you every morning. Friendship is about honesty and honesty is about telling people what is on your mind…and telling people about what is on your mind is about meeting up for coffee, and since you’re so busy with your show it might be easiest for me to just come there to chat. For convenience. It doesn’t feel right going this long without connecting. I’m starting to really feel the distance.

I guess it’s true what they say about long distance relationships. Heck they’re a lot of work even when BOTH people are trying…say nothing of the celebrity status and busy schedules involved in our case. I want you to know the “celebrity” means nothing to me. It was never important. And I will never let it all go to my head.

The great Jennifer Lopez once said it best when she said, “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got. I’m still I’m still Jenny from the Block.” I believe what she is saying here is “my large collection of rocks (rocks symbolizing wealth) might fool you into thinking that’s all I care about…but it’s not”.

And that’s what I say to you Ellen. Don’t let my rocks fool you. Or intimidate you. I’m not about my rocks. And my name is not Jenny. But you can call me Jenny if you want to.

You can also call me relieved. Because Ellen…Twitter told me you were having mommy bloggers on your show for Mother’s Day. I didn’t want to believe it was so. You can ignore me all you want, but I can think of no greater pain than the pain of watching an Ellen Show filled with mommy bloggers that doesn’t consist of me.

And then I thought maybe this was it. Maybe the Mother’s Day mommy blogger show was going to be the surprise phone call I’ve been waiting for. I practiced my scream and feigned shock. I kept the lines open and waited.

But you know what? God bless soon to be first time mothers. And God bless you for having them on your Mother’s Day show. My faith in our relationship has been renewed, the foundation in my letter writing campaign has not been cracked, and long distance or not…we’re going to make it!

All my love,

Mama Kat

Me and Ellen DeGeneres


  1. debi9kids says


    If I can be honest, the only Ellen Show I ever watch is when you link up to her, just because i can’t seem to ever wrangle the Tv from the kids and the DVR is busy recording The Wonder Pets & Sponge Bob.
    So, thanks for this campaign :)

  2. says

    Well done, mixing in a J-Lo reference to this “Dear Ellen” campaign! This has GOT to get her attention … right?

  3. says

    You poor thing. For how long is Ellen going to make you wait? Has she no heart? New mommy bloggers? Ptooey!

    Justine :o )

  4. says

    I’m so glad that you and Ellen could work through things to make your long-distance, time-slotted relationship a success. It gives me great hope for my unrequited relationship with Lois Lowry. Perhaps a “Dear Lois” campaign is in order?

  5. says

    One of these days, she’s going to realize what she’s missing out on and then she’s likely to show up on your front doorstep begging to do bathroom karaoke with you on a swivel chair. Ah, wouldn’t that be grand?

  6. says

    This cracked me up (however, that pic is totally creep!). LOL

    I’m glad your faith in the relationship has been renewed…she didn’t cheat on you with other bloggers. ;-)

  7. says

    Ellen comes on at 3pm here too. I strategically plan snack time during Ellen so that my little one chomps on goldfish and graham crackers while I laugh at Ellen’s funny jokes.

  8. Megan (Best of Fates) says

    My temp job is ending in two weeks, and (strangely) a large part of me is just excited to be home and watch Ellen. Then there’s a small part that wants to pay my bills. But let’s focus on Ellen for now.

  9. says

    I know, you and Ellen are so close, it’s just so sad you two are separated by such a distance…She is probably feeling the miles too! You can tell she is bothered by it, just by watching how she is so depressed on her show…lol…hope you two can get together soon, for both your sakes…lol

  10. Rachel says

    We need to all start writing letters to her requesting that you get on her show. Hasn’t she seen your videos too? What is wrong with her???

  11. says

    I agree with Rachel–what’s up with Ellen not noticing you yet?

    And for the record, I like your hair long.

  12. Alexandra says

    How can she NOT know about you?

    I swear, it took me only 2 days of blogging, and I knew who you were.


  13. says

    LMAO…You crack me up with these letters. I still don’t understand why she hasn’t contacted you.

    Oh yeah….did you watch American Idol last night? She said she has loved a woman. Perhaps it wasn’t Portia she was referring to but You! lol

  14. says

    I’m in the midst of submitting a “letter” to Ellen. Here it is so far:


    I’m writing to you with utmost concern for my friend Kat. Have you heard of her? She pours her heart out to you in letters that aren’t only heart-warming, but they’re absolutely hilarious!

    She has a way with words and I just love reading what she writes for you each time. She’s entertaining to read about and she’s nearly obsessed with you…in a non-creepy really funny sort of way, so I can’t imagine what she would be like if she was on your show!

    I’m willing to bet she’d do nearly anything to get on your show, too! She’s probably even willing to sell her kids for a chance to be on your show. Seriously. You think I’m lying. Just read for yourself!

    **fingers crossed**

  15. says

    Why Ellen continues to pretend that you don’t exist is beyond me! Seriously, what can we all do to help you get on the Ellen show? I really want to see you get some kind of acknowledgement from her. lol
    I hope all’s well with the new Mouse Family. :)

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud