My second little bird will spread her wings for Kindergarten in four measly months. I can’t believe I’m going to be home with just one baby. I tried convincing Pat that I should get pregnant again to fill the void that will surely haunt me when both of my girls are gone at school all day. He mumbled something about me needing medication and walked away. I don’t think I’m going to win that one.
In the mean time I need to make up my mind as to what to do with Laina for Kindergarten. Maile has been in full day Kindergarten and has learned SO much from her teacher…but Laina has made it clear that she is not a fan of school and does not want to go to Kindergarten at all. I don’t know what to do with that little one…
June Freaking Cleaver says
Wow, what a pickle! Some important questions: Is Kindergarten required? Is there an age limit for Kindergarten? Perhaps Laina can go NEXT Fall – that gives you over a year to get her accustomed to the idea of going, and time for her to mature and realize that she may want to expand her social circle a bit.
There are plenty of parents who wait that extra year before sending their kid to Kindergarten…there are advantages to being one of the oldest kids in the class.
I understand your feeling conflicted about the whole thing…but you have to be careful not to have the result that Laina thinks she can get out of everything that she doesn’t want to do, or is afraid to do.
I guess your other alternative would be to homeschool her. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Then you two can remain the best of buds for years to come!
dysfunctional mom says
In Florida, well at least in my county, we only have full day Kindergarten and it’s been that way for many years (since before I was in K, so at least 1000 years).
It works out great for us indecisive moms, the decision is out of our hands!
Jessica says
I could give you my opinion, but I’m not a mom so it doesn’t hold much value. But, I do want to be a Kindergarten teacher someday, so maybe that counts…no?
Send her to full-day! I bet that she will adjust in no time because she’ll realize that she can make friends and that there’s so much more activity than there was in pre-school. She can take credit for things she knows and gain more independence.
Plus, if you get her adjusted this year she’ll be ready to go for 1st grade and you won’t have to do this next year. You can get it over with now! Yahooooooo!
Good luck either way! :)
Allison @ Alli 'n Son says
Can you try part time, then move her to full time if she loves it? Or maybe do half the year in part time then move her to full time for the other half? Just a thought.
Sarah says
You get an award for telling this tough tale with stick figures and talk bubbles! It’s hard to give a mom advice when you don’t know her or her children. Ultimately, you need to do not only what is right for Maile, but what is right for you. In some respects, it is just one year and if you choose the more hectic half-day, you know it’s not forever. In another respect, it is an entire year, with no take-backs half-way through. So if you choose half-day because of a fear that she won’t adjust, and then she ends up doing fine, you are the one stuck with half-day pick-up duties…etc etc etc.
My thought is that they have to adjust to it at some point. First grade at the latest, right? Is it ok to hold on to them a little longer? Sure. Sure it is. But are we doing it as a way to just postpone the inevitable? Is it better to get them adjusted in Kindergarten so they don’t miss out on experiences with other kids at the beginning of First Grade? Who knows. But good luck with your decision. Aren’t parenting decisions so sucky?!
Rebecca says
Can my life be put into cartoons? I love it!
Can you start her in full day and see how it goes? If it doesn’t work, I’m wondering if you could switch her to half day…just a thought. Set deadlines too…make sure you have her stick it out for a week…a lot can happen in a week (love, a former teacher).
Julie@my5monkeys says
can I just say I’m having the same delima with my soon to be kindergardener too. She is excited but the and wants to see her sisters and this year they will be all day at my kids school but not where they WANT her to go. I haven’t made up my mind either. Hugs
Jennifer says
Wow. That is hard. We only have full kindergarten. Plus my daughter has been in daycare since she was one so for me it wouldn’t be that big of a deal anyway. My advice would be all or nothing. Send her for the full day are wait a year and send her next year.
Evonne says
We don’t have a choice between half and full day here. My youngest starts Kindergarten in the fall. I think he’s ready, but I don’t know if I am. I tried the having another baby thing and it’s not happening!
Could you maybe try half day and is it goes well switch to full day? Good luck!
Jen says
This is hard. I have no idea what to tell you to do which is hard for me because I usually always have something to tell you.
Foursons says
When is her birthday? Is she a Spring or Summer birthday or a Fall or Winter birthday? If she is Spring or Summer I think it’d be OK to let her go 1/2 day or hold her out entirely for a year. You’d be amazed at how much they mature in one year’s time. Whatever decision you make stick with it because otherwise she might think if something isn’t fun anymore Mom will let her quit. While this is good in some cases, you can’t let her quit school.
FYI- My youngest is an August baby and I held him out of school this last year and he will be attending Kinder this coming Fall. He now looks and acts like a kindergartener. He is excited about going to school and talks about it all the time. Last year…not so much.
lucy says
My vote is for half-day. Especially if she’s not looking forward to it anyways. Why make it more painful that it has to be? She has many years of school to endure, may as well start out slow. But that’s just my opinion :) And I was a half-day kindergarten kid. I went on to make straight A’s and graduate early from college and with honors!
lucy says
P.S. I was also a middle child, like Laina. And I loved to be at home with my mommy. But no matter what you decide, it will be the right decision for YOUR family. Good luck.
Roxane says
Ahhh well again I am NOT a mama or a psychologist BUT I do play one on tv (or maybe I’m just a nanny, you decide)…Around these parts only private schools offer half-day kindergarden, which takes the guess work out of it.
I do think that you know in your heart what is best for your child. Perhaps you still feel conflicted because you know that she should go to school but you are afraid of how she will react?! Whatever you decide, don’t worry too much. You are still her mother and your influence will be so much greater in her life than any kindergarden teacher ever will.
Julie @ Practically Spent says
I hear ya’. I debate, deliberate, worry, over react, worry some more. My brain’s like a hamster in a wheel with schooling decisions. (Ok, everything, actually.) We’ve had our share! (Our oldest went to K. early…tested in. Everyone told us not to, but we just knew she needed to go. Best decision ever. ALL full-day K. here.) Either way, in the long run it probably won’t matter. Go with your gut. If you choose to go full-day, she’ll surely love it in a matter of days & you’ll wonder who your new child is.
Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation says
Digging the cartoons! And you told so much info with those little figures! We don’t have the option of full day K in our district. I wish we did b/c I would totally send mine full day. I think both girls will grow to love school. You could always wait a year? (Not sure when her bday is)
Alexandra says
Perfect. The only thing I can think to offer up as advice is to wonder if you have an alternative exended preschool there?
We have them in our state, they’re called 5K, vs kindergarten. There is 4K, 5K, and kindergarten. 5K is for those kids who do not want to make the leap to full day kindergarten as of yet. So, the preschool offers the 5K program for them..
Just a thought.
P.S. Your mom is right.
Aging Mommy says
Would you have the option to start Laina doing a half day and then, if and when she really settles in, to move her to full day? Either way I would start her on half days so that she feels she is being listened to, but that no days is not an option. Then she still gets some time each day with you, to herself, which is probably what this is all about, wanting Mommy time and thinking she is going to have to give all that up.
cheri says
why not home school her? or just take the half-day option?
Erin says
I LOVE the cartoon. In my day, we had full day kindergarten…only it was every OTHER day. I still got to chill at home on alternating days. Also…I was a preschool drop out too, and I ended up loving school (mostly – though I skipped grades in math and english because I was bored).
SaucyB says
I love the cartoon. You are a funny, sassy one! Certainly you know best for your child. My take, I’d try starting her out in full day and if it’s really not working out, pull back to a half day program. No harm in trying and perhaps she will surprise you and herself by really enjoying it. Best of luck with whatever you decide. :-)
Kristina says
YES! I’m struggling with this now. My daughter is all signed up for preschool (even though my hubby didn’t think she needed to go and I was the one who pushed it) and now… two weeks before preschool starts… I’m conflicted.
I want her to be creative and herself. Won’t the structure of school change that?
I want her to sure of herself and how wonderful she is. Won’t it be too hard for me… I mean, her… to face tears the first time someone doesn’t want to play with her. Will she even care? Will she prefer quiet playtime alone like she does at home?
I want her to stay my little girl. Won’t sending her out into the big, scary, non-mommy world change that?
Arg. I know it will be better for her to go, but I’m just not sure.
kiki says
i thought going to kindergarten was required by law, unless you are homeschooling. i’m sure laina will come around. maybe she can go to school with maile for a few days to see what it’s like. great cartoons. you are a very talented artiste. take care and good luck, Mama K.
Kalli says
I had the same problem with my oldest daughter. She freaked out at the thought of going to school and I don’t believe in forcing them to go (because my parents did and I hated it). So I’ve been homeschooling my now 2nd grader and we love it. My 2nd daughter couldn’t wait to go to school though, and all Kindergartens here are half days). I found a Waldorf charter school in our district which was much more appealing to me than regular public school. Maybe there are some other alternatives for her? That being said, I used to teach Kindergarten and from experience, even the timid ones usually got over it once they made friends and saw how much fun Kindergarten was :)
BreAnne says
I have an only child who was only ever with me. When I put him in preschool the transition was very rough and he was there only half day. He got better and this year when he started Pre-K he was excited and ready to go. However that was also only half day. So now I’m faced with the dilemma of full day kindergarten because that is the only option here. So we decided to put him in day camp for the same amount of time he will be in kindergarten in the fall. This was a suggestion from a friend of mine who is a teacher. Perhaps you can try putting her in a summer day camp even half day to help acclimate her. One other trick we did when first putting my son in preschool is we bought him a watch with an alarm. We set the alarm for the time we would pick him up so he knew that when the alarm went off we would be there very soon. Usually we got there before the alarm but after a couple weeks he didn’t need it anymore.
Jess says
Wellllll… you could always go to school with her like the first few days and see if that helps her adapt and feel at ease…..tho I do have to say my personal preference… is to agree with your mom… in ” why would you want to rock her world like that.. she has such a happy and free spirit!! “.. =) But your the mom here and you have to do whats right for your little birds….. And I will add here.. that home schooling one is ALWAYS an option… and YES it ROCKS to have your kiddos be your best little buds for many years to come!! heeheehe.. good luck… and I am totally confident you will make the right choice for your family…=)
lori says
Ohhh, those cartoons were perfect! I’m with Grandma, but at least you have the summer to think about it and I’m sure you’ll make the right choice :-)
Jenners says
Are you grooming yourself to a be a cartoonist now? Conquering blogging wasn’t enough????
I had a lot of concerns about my Little One starting kindergarten. He was very young (born 4 days before the cut-off) and he was always very clingy and nervous and scared. But when the time came, he surprised me and was ready and not scared and ended up loving it. So she might surprise you. Things can change a lot in a few months at this age.
Erin says
YIKES! I really hope I don’t have this dilema when it comes to my boys!
But I am sure you will make the right decision!
Liza The Outspoken Mom says
OK, you are going to hate me, or love me…either way, I am NOT going to make your life easier with this one.
I have 4 children, 3 of which are in school…oh and I HAD that 4th baby to fill the void :-) And I would strongly recommend it, she has been such a good thing for our family!!
OK, back to school. I have my older 3 in 3 different schools, we didn’t plan it that way, but looking back probably should have it would have saved my son a lot of grief. I send them to the schools that are best for THAT particular child. It can get hairy sometimes, but really hasn’t been too bad. Although, ask me next year when I am on the parent board at all 3 schools! Eek.
Anyway, my daughter who is currently in Kindergarten,today is last day :-( goes to a private school where their Kindgergarten goes MWF all day. It is PERFECT!! I wish all schools did that! I think it is great for getting them better prepared for 1st grade and they get used to all day without having to be there 5 days a week.
My other daughter’s school was 5 days a week all day, it was perfect her because she came out of the womb ready to leave us for friends. But, my current KG girl, she is more of a home-body and needed more mom time. She is VERY excited for 1st grade, but also cries thinking about it because she has seen how long and how much her brother and sister are away from home and she doesn’t want to be away from me or her baby sister that much.
I would say shop around, look at your public school options, look at private(KG is usually cheaper) and check out charter schools too. If you find the ‘right’ school for her, she will excel and do great!
OH…and my daughter’s, are only a year apart in school and VERY differnent personalities so that is another reason we decided they weren’t going to go to the same school….too much competition between them for friends. We could see that at an early age and now, they don’t fight (too much) anymore and they each have their own set of friends and they play together MUCH, much better now.
Contact me if you want to hear more or if you just want to tell me to ‘shut up’ :-)
-Liza
Michelle says
Man, I’m in the same boat. My youngest (waaah!) will start next month at my kids’ school. There is NO part-time K in the whole city except for one private one I found. K is not required in our state, but if I don’t let him start at his siblings’ school then he probably won’t get in (ever) the list is like 2000+ out. He is not a happy camper. I think I’m gonna make him try for a month and then if he is miserable by Aug. I can still send in homeschool intent forms.
Lourie says
When will she turn 5. My oldest is almost always the youngest in her class and barley made the cut off. I wish I would have waited. But she survived. And really, she was ready. My little middle was ready, but it was scary because at the time she was my baby–but not for long since I was 10 months pregnant with my son. Or so it felt. My son’s b-day is smack in the middle of October. He will be 5 this year. He is not ready for kindergarten. No way. I am putting him in preschool instead. Maybe she needs to try preschool again. like 3 days a week. Good luck.
paula schuck says
Truth is here in Canada ( Ontario at least) children are not legally required to be in school unitl they are six. Until that point if you wish to keep them home or part -time school them or put them in preschool or opt out totally that is A-OK. So for my first child – my eldest – she clearly told me early on by seeking out sooo much stimulations and needing to socialize and craving reading that she wanted school. I opted for boring old JK down the street – which was offered only half days. Then because she was reading fluently and teaching all the other kids I moved her to full day SK every other day at French immersion where she is happily ensconced – well for the most part – I mean she is a girl and therefore the girly squabbles and cliques and crap are a daily challenge. But for the most part excellent, good happy all day at school. Youngest daughter with some special needs and sensory processing disorder and big separation anxiety and really a lovely girl but mostly happy dropkicking boys and wrestling and climbing trees, well she clearly was screaming loud and clear I cannot do all day every day I will spontaneously combust if forced to do so. She has been in half days school at the preschool where they know and love her and manage her crazy zany and adorable ways since she turned 4. I choose to keep her there because ot works for her. Now that she is six she will be required by law to be at school all day and will make the transition in September.
For us it was pretty clear what we had to do, but I hear you school choices are some of the hardest choices to make. Parents agonize over them and then hope like heck it works. I have heard this year with all the changes in Ontario’s JK and SK staggering in full days for 4-year-olds, that it is very hard for many to make the choice of what level to commit their child to.
BTW I am following you now and this block is excellent. Nice writing prompts.
http://www.thriftymommastips.blogspot.com/