My friends were all pretty. I’ve talked before about how I was the one let in to the group for my dynamic personality. It’s true.
The senior boys did not date me, I didn’t have boyfriends, and the boys my friends tried to match me with weren’t exactly what I had in mind for myself…but it provided insight as to where exactly my level of attractiveness lay.
That said, at the time I did not think I was ugly. Now looking back, yes, I see that it is so…but at the time I thought I was okay. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think I had a slight chance of taking the Homecoming Court by storm with a surprise sweep on election day. Was it possible that others saw the natural beauty permeating from my soul that I was certain was there!?!
It was not to be. I never was queen…or a princess…or even the court’s fool. The moment I realized just how low I ranked below my friends in terms of physical beauty was the day a list circulated among the boys at school.
If you’re a friend of mine, and you’re reading this post, than you’re shaking your head as you read this because yes. I’m bringing up that damn list. Again.
It was a list that ranked the top five prettiest girls in the school, created with the help of our stereotypical dirty weight training teacher and endorsed by every red blooded boy in the school.
I had to know who was on the list. I was okay with being number five beneath the rest of my friends, and I wondered exactly where I would fall on such a list. I acted disgusted because boys can be such PIGS, but really I just wanted to cut the crap and find out who was on the damn list.
And then I saw the list, I still have it:
Who really cared anyway?? I mean so WHAT! My friend’s mom WAS really pretty…it just figures those meatheads would put her on that stupid, degrading, demoralizing LIST. So stupid. In fact, I was GLAD I wasn’t on the list. Who wants those creepy boys looking at you like that anyways…this was a blessing!
Fast forward to volleyball practice five years later. I coached the JV team and assisted the varsity team Monday through Friday after my long days of teaching and paper grading were over. After running the girls through drills and teaching them how to be awesome, I helped close up the gym and headed to my car.
Giggling Girls: Hey Miss B! Did you know there’s a list going around the school!
LIST!?!?! What list!?!?! OMFG there’s a list!?!
me: Siiiigh. Do I even WANT to know?? This sounds like trouble girls!
Giggling Girls: Well the boys made a list of the hottest girls at school…
me: Oh my gosh…that is so immature and juvenile and silly…such a boy thing to do…
AM I ON IT!?!?!?!
Giggling Girls: Well guess what Miss B., you’re ON the list! Hahahahaha!
I’m ON it?? I’M ON IT!!
me: Oh that’s just ridiculous and I don’t want to know anything about it! I certainly hope no one is taking these lists seriously.
I.Made.The.List.
I drove home that day feeling like I finally made it. That damn list had haunted me for five long years, but I finally made it. Never mind the fact that I was a twenty something year old teacher being validated by a small group of prepubescent brace faced hoodlums…I made the mother freaking list. Ain’t nobody can take that away from me.
alexis says
i still get all stupid when i find out that a fifteen year-old boy is checking me out. nevermind that these boys are basically walking genitals with hormones for legs. all i care about is that someone thinks i’m pretty.
alexis says
and also, you are way hotter than your friends or their moms. way.
June Freaking Cleaver says
This is just.so.wrong. And now I’m sad.
Perhaps the only redemption can come when they have the reality TV show that shows the creators of the list as the pitiful losers they are now, and the confident grown women who did NOT make the list, yet they did not let it hold them back from having meaningful, fulfilling lives.
Like that’ll ever happen. Instead, they’ll show the women who await being on the list of MILFs their sons’ friends created. And they’ll show the dads ogling all those MILFs, too.
Kinda glad I don’t have cable.
debi9kids says
I can’t believe that you were ever ugly.
No way.
Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation says
No way. I have seen pictures of you. You were on the list. And yes I totally get blushed when some youngin’ is checkin’ me out. Girls gotta get some love from somewhere!
Cheryl says
In my early 20s, I have been so thrilled to make the list. Now, um, that would be creepy.
Los says
I guess it’s better late than never, rigth? Closure is a good thing.
Rebecca says
Haha…better late than never?
Heather says
Hilarious…love it. And I think deep down we all feel the same way!
Diane says
Okay, I’ve seen your pic and I can’t imagine you didn’t make the first list. Surely you haven’t changed THAT much!
Jen says
I think that you need to give out fashion tips and tricks that all of us fugly people can use so that we too can get on that list.
Mama Kat says
Mouthing the words “you want a piece of this?” to high school boys TOTALLY increases your status!
Erin says
How funny! I teach highschool as well and hear the boys talking about that stuff all the time.
Jennifer says
I would have been ecstatic to make the list at 20, and I KNOW I wouldn’t have made the list in high school. I wasn’t ugly, but I also wasn’t one of those girls that everyone wanted to date.
Gina says
When I worked at the middle school, the male teachers made their own “hottest teachers” list. I heard through the grapevine that I was on it but I still don’t know the order and would like to know. Er, I mean, I don’t care. That’s childish.
S Club Mama says
LOL I never would make a list. Too funny. Do you watch Glee? At least it wasn’t a list like that.
Mama Kat says
I just got into Glee this year! And I love it. And all of the cast members are on my list. ;)
LizB says
Never on a list, either! A friend once told me that she heard a guy say that I was “hot.” Do you think he could have ever said it to me?
The longer I live, the more I think of how unimportant all that stuff was. It still played a part in developing my confidence. Damn lists!
Mama Kat says
Do they know what these lists do to us?? ;)
michelle says
OMG! that is such an awesome story. Congrats on making THEE list! hell yeah!
Rose says
Lol! I love this story!
Kimi@SoManyKids says
Ohhhhh I was that girl in school too! Never made any list. Sad to say I still don’t quite make the cut. But I’m okay with it, ya know…except that I’m totally not. I want to make a list. In fact, tonight I’ll force my husband to make a list. Man I better be on that one!
Mama Kat says
If I ask Pat to make a list he’ll stare at me blankly and robotically tell me I’m the only one for him and he needs no list because I’m the only one he’d put on it.
He’s been very well trained.
Scott ( This Daddy) says
That is the same thing I tell my wife. What is happening to us? Tell Pat to share his list with me and we can compare
brianne says
That.Is.AWESOME. I think i would be more flattered to be on the list in my 20’s. If i’m hot enough to be compared to high schoolers I call that a good day!
The Princess Blogger says
Boys are dumb, except when you make their list! Very funny!
Natalie says
My brother’s are in their early/mid 20s; I’m in my late 30s. When their friends flirt with me, tell my brothers I’m hot or a MILF, I still get all happy and excited about it. I don’t know why…I think it’s because everybody likes to feel pretty!
Mama Kat says
That’s exactly it. What is it about girls and our need to be so desirable? Why can’t we just be happy with our beer bellies and bad attitudes like the boys?
Pua says
I love when a high school boy hits on me. While they can be creepy and annoying, it always gives me a little thrill when a senior who works at my local Best Buy says “So what school do you go to? _HS or _HS?” I still got it.
Amanda @ Serenity Now says
I think you are gorgeous! And I’d totally be proud of myself for making the list. ;)
Lisa Anne says
Seriously you never made the list in High School? Seriously. Well it’s great you made the list now, even if you are 24. LOL JK
Michelle says
:)
erin says
I would feel the same way.
I was never pretty or popular back in high school and envied the girls on “the list.” I didn’t want to BE them exactly, but I wanted to be ranked among them, if that makes sense. I was jealous.
Lucky girl—you got on the list eventually. I’m still waiting! LOL
Scott ( This Daddy) says
GIRLS HAVE LISTS TOO!!!
Mama Kat says
Roberto’s on mine!
Scott ( This Daddy) says
Ok, you and Tracy must have the same list then. Please stop being so damn funny too. I forgot to bring my extra Hanes to work today.
Kelly Deneen says
I LOVE it! I never would have made the list in HS either, but I may have in my 20s. Stuff like that sticks with a girl too. :)
Kelly says
Too funny! I would still be excited to make the list too! :-) hahaha
Cari says
LOL! I was one of those girls that was “secretly” liked. One guy in particular…we worked together. He was easily the most popular guy in school (class president and all that jazz). At work, he would hit on me like none other, but when at school, there was none of that. He still talked to me and everything, but it was nothing like while we worked. I’ve found out later that a lot of the boys liked me or thought I was hot or whatever, but I guess being with me would have been an embarrassment :/ Such is life, I guess!
Corine Complicated Mama says
OMG! I love this post so much.
I was the one in the group for the personality too- I never made a list.. dont know that there was one– but Im sure if there were it would have read just like yours: Corine’s BFF, Corine’s Friend, Corine’s Lab partner…. lol
Congrats on making the list! You make all of us “friends” of the hot girls proud! :)
Emmy says
Hey the list is the list no matter when you make it. *sigh* so jealous you made the list ;)
Shelley says
I’m so glad I was never subjected to such a list! At least to my knowledge!
Daisy says
I’m sure I wouldn’t have made any Hotness Lists in my day or in my student teaching days. Just curious: do you watch Glee? The Glist was an interesting perspective on lists like these.
Allison @ Alli 'n Son says
I would secretly be proud too. I wonder if I’ll make it on any lists when my son is a teen? Hmmm, here’s hoping I age well in the next 10 years.
Jennerific says
Awesome post! Love it. You should be proud. xo
lucy says
Hey, it just took you a little longer to *blossom.* Doesn’t that mean you’ll also stay prettier longer? ;)
Mrs.Mayhem says
ooh, I’m so jealous. I’d love to be on anyone’s list!
Jennifer says
I relate so well to this post! I,too, was friends with the popular girls, but because I was ” funny” and “sweet”. They all liked me and accepted me, but the boys did not. I didn’t have dates or boyfriends either… it sucked. Thankfully, there was never a list ( that I knew of) but I spent four years in the shadow of greatness, watching my friends get asked out on dates, nominated for homecoming court and prom queen but was never in that category myself. Kudos to you for making the list, even if you were in your twenties.
Dawn says
you are too funny! Congrats on making the list!!
Lori says
That’s funny! And yeah, if you couldn’t be a sexy hot teen, you can still be a sexy hot MLF!
Sweet Tea says
I wanna see a photo of the guys who made the original list when you were in high school. I wanna see them NOW. I bet you get the last laugh!
Miss. Candy says
This by far is one my most fav. posts that you have done!!! I too was one of those “milk does a girl good” chicks who didn’t make the cut until her 20’s!
pam-tastic says
Oh mamakat…hooray for you!!! I went to a very small school and was a junior high cheerleader. I thought I was liked and we seemed to all get along fine until one day for some unknown reason they decided to really start treating me horribly, not tell me about cheer practice, gang up and talk to the boys about how ugly I was IN FRONT OF ME, and all sorts of terrible things. But you know what? I stuck it out and took it…took it for as long as they wanted to give it. I may have cried at night, but I NEVER let them know during the day that it bothered me. They finally got tired of it and they stopped. I’ve been out of school now for 20 yrs and have a 17 yr old daughter and you know what? They think I am “hot”…list worthy if you will. They were going to start a facebook page that was “Mrs N. is hot because…” but I told my daughter (in my stern, mature and wise, motherly voice) to tell them not to…that’s a bit over the top. But secretly…i kind of wish they’d have done it and I would have friended all my “friends” from the junior high cheer squad. …just, you know…to get in touch with them and see what they’re up to these days :-)
Lolli says
Well, OF COURSE you made the List! I don’t know if I’ve ever made any lists, but I also don’t know if I ever gave it a thought. :)
Amber says
HAHAHA I used to get all excited when teenage boys would hit on me at the diner I worked at after H.S.
I took great pleasure in telling them it would be illegal for us to be together :P
I loved it that they thought I was young enough to actually ask out!
Erin says
All right, you made the list!!! I don’t think I ever made the list. not once.
Ahh well…I’m usually on the top of the list now…everyone’s shit list that is! HAHA
Jetsyn says
Free info like this is an apple from the tree of knewoedgl. Sinful?
Peg says
I’ve seen pictures of you and can’t believe you weren’t on that first list! unless they were numbering them by who they THOUGHT they could sleep with? LOL
Peg says
I’ve seen pictures of you and can’t believe you weren’t on that first list! unless they were numbering them by who they THOUGHT they could sleep with? LOL
Peg says
I’ve seen pictures of you and can’t believe you weren’t on that first list! unless they were numbering them by who they THOUGHT they could sleep with? LOL
alexis says
i still don’t know what to do when faced with things like that. i turn all awkward and stupid and i ALWAYS say the wrong things. your dad sounds like he was a champ.
alexis says
sorry i totally left this comment on the wrong post. my insomnia is starting to turn me into a fool.
Ashley says
thats a good feeling :)
Texan Mama says
Seriously, THAT is so funny. WHY have you been hiding this gem of a story for so long? What a great recap of your angsty adolescent days.
Jenny says
Such a cruel world high school can be and the boys were all pervs anyway right. I am sure I was never on a list, but to tell you the truth I never paid attention if there ever even was one ;)