How To Make Real Life Friends With Your Favorite Blogger

Let me start by saying you’ll never make best friends with your favorite blogger if your favorite blogger is The Bloggess or Dooce or Pioneer Woman. Lower your standards. Your new real life blog friend needs to be someone at about your level.

You can’t jump in as a Freshman and expect to BFF a popular senior. Instead make friends with another Freshman…when you become seniors you won’t care how popular you are because you’ll have created a lasting friendship with people you really care about.

Sweet no?

Now that your standards have been adequately lowered, here is what you must do:

Step 1.

  • Narrow Your Prospects

Choose four or five bloggers that you think have real life friendship potential. Comment on their blogs, but don’t be stalky about it. If they don’t comment back right away don’t give up. You will win them over with witty, charming, delightful comments. It may take some time for them to realize how awesome you are. Be patient.

Step 2.

  • Compliment them sparingly

Don’t act all “oh my gosh oh my gosh I think you’re incredible we could be best FRIENDS!” crazy.

By talking them up TOO much you put them in a different league as you. Play it cool. They’d be lucky to have YOU as a friend. At least…that’s what you’re going to act like. We all know you’re kind of a weirdo.

Step 3.

  • Improve Their Blog

Share advise on how to make their blog better. By sharing tips and tricks you find online they will let their guard down and realize you really are there to help and not to sabotage their online life. Perhaps there’s a neat plugin you found that they might appreciate, maybe you can share how you were able to bring extra traffic to your site and encourage them to do the same…I don’t know, think of something.

By being knowledgeable and helpful you will not only create a dependency where your blog friends not only like you, but NEED you around, you will also create a cycle of reciprocation. Your new blog friend will feel so grateful for the information you’ve shared that she will in turn want to share with you what she has picked up on her blogging journey as well.

Step 4.

  • Find Them A Boyfriend

Your new blog friends would be indebted for life if you could somehow arrange a date for them with the likes of Jared Leto…or Brad Pitt…or Steadman. Whoever their crush happens to be on. Think of how much they would love you for putting something like that together.

Step 5.

  • Find Something To Make Fun Of

Women are gossipy. It’s sad, but oh so true. We love to laugh and sometimes at the expense of the train wrecks we see in real life…or in blog land. It bonds us. Use that. And believe me, there are plenty of people out there making asses of themselves. Not YOU of course…other people.

Step 6.

  • Send Them Gifts

Your blog friends would like you to send them chocolate. Or Christmas cards (in December only). Or gift cards. Or a shirt that says “Atticus Finch Is My CoPilot” (just off the top of my head). Do it! Buying love and camaraderie is acceptable and necessary in terms of creating long and lasting friendships.

Step 7.

  • Email Them But Don’t Overdo It!

We don’t want to suffocate our new blog friends, but sending an email to ask her how their mom is doing after falling off a ladder adds a personal touch that will be appreciated by your new friend.

You don’t want to email your friend repetitively for help with your problems. Your friend only wants to talk about herself, so in the beginning be sure to make it all about her. Save your issues for your therapist, unless you’re asked to share.

Step 8.

  • Make The Jump

The transition from email to phone begins with an important question. Think of something you NEED to ask your friend that would take way too long to answer via email, “Hey I’m having a problem with this widget on my blog…I see yours is still working, but I can’t figure mine out…are you going to be around later? Is it okay if I give you a call so I can pick your brain a bit??”

Inevitably this will lead to more blog talk, perhaps a quick word about the family and dinner plans, and before you know it your new blog friend will be calling every time you write something on Twitter that cracks her up.

Mission Accomplished.

Now watch me at work as I make a house call to some bloggers who I’d like to be my real life friends (totally looking for real life friend replacements by they way! Accepting applications!!):

First I called Angie from Seven Clown Circus to peak in on her and her life in clown land:

Then I called Jill from Scary Mommy for a quick howdy doo:

And then this happened when Francesca from Mayhem And Moxie called me:


  1. alexis says

    wait, so does this mean we’re never going to be friends because the first comment i ever left you said i thought you were beautiful and i wanted to steal your face and wear it as a mask (or something like that)?

    and here is my advice for your blog, i hope it will aid in my quest to make you my lifelong friend: in america, advice is spelled advice, not advise–advise is the action form of the word. i’m sure you knew that already, so i guess my real advice (or advise, whichever) is to proofread.

    so now you’re gonna be my best friend, right?

    • says

      Alexis that is amazing. it is like you took all of Mama Kat’s coolrules and totally summed them up in one comment. Perhaps we could be BFFs now too??? ;-)

      • alexis says

        duh we can be bffs. just make sure you never talk about yourself (only me) and find me a boyfriend, preferably bradley cooper. just don’t tell my husband.

    • says

      I’ll be your BFF. I often ask people if I can take their faces/backs/random large pieces of skin and wear it as my own. I think I fell in love with you just now.

  2. Alexandra says

    Waaaaaaaaaaaay cute.

    What’s meant to be is meant to be..I love the Xmas card idea! How fun to get a Xmas card from a blogger buddy…I love that idea!

    Thanks for all the advicey advice (did I get it right, alexis?)

  3. says

    I love your “aim low” advice…thanks for keepin’ it real.

    I actually have one follower who’s beginning to get a bit too friendly…

    This post is just another reason why I think blogland is like Junior High.

  4. says

    So glad your blog is loading again, that was scary!

    This was so funny, your vlogs make me happy! I’ll be your real life friend and I promise to send you chocolate like at *least once a month. Okay? So I’ll totally call you tomorrow!

  5. says

    What a funny post! The videos are hilarious! I only have one person I met online who called me once and sends me junk emails ALL THE TIME. It is annoying. I still don’t know what made her call me out of the blue. She doesn’t even blog.

    Never fear, I don’t even call my real life friends just to chat.

  6. says

    Thanks for the Monday morning laugh! I love “Atticus Finch is my co-pilot.”
    And, ladies the comments? Awesome! Have a wicked lovely day, yall!

    • says

      That Atticus Finch tee-shirt is for real, y’all. Mama Kat sent it to my husband as a thank you. You should know the following details about that story:

      1) When he opened it, I asked, who is Atticus Finch and is this supposed to be funny?
      2) My husband wears said tee-shirt each and every weekend of his life. Because I don’t already have enough Mama Kat in my life.

  7. says

    Aw, poor Fran. She sounds nice. I like her. I think that I am going to see if she will be my best friend.

    Don’t get me wrong, if you expect my application for a real life friend I will cut all ties. Promise.

    But until then… Fran here I come.


  8. valerie says

    LOL! I love your videos, they are so funny! Your Momversation ones are awesome too! So creative. Perhaps you have a future in acting?

  9. says

    –>You are too cute. I haven’t listened to the videos yet because I’m at work but I ‘m sure I’ll laugh.
    Now try to schedule a bloggy boot camp in Virginia please. :-)

  10. Scary Mommy says

    Ooooooohhhhhhh… Now, I know who you are. Of course. But, maybe you could lose my number, k? You frighten me.

  11. KLZ says

    I’m having a really hard time not responding to this by saying “OMG OMG you are such a wonderful font of information I just can’t wait to be your friend does this count as a pithy comment? Oh please, please, please I hope it does.”

    As a JOKE of course. Because while you are awesome, no one wants to be that person. Or at least, I don’t.

  12. angie says

    Let me start by saying that I LOVE that lipgloss that you are wearing. It’s fabulous and you must wear it all summer long. Do you think it would look good on me? I know. Probably not. Hey, I need some advice about my blog……if you get the time……I would love your constructive criticism. That guy from Kate and Leopold is kinda cute if you are feeling like cupid. Don’t you think that halitosis is hilarious? I’d love it if you’d send me a apron. Just like yours. We could be twinsies. My email is acting up, but I have this question. I would love to be BFF. I’m a little nervous though that you are too “BIG” for me. Do I need to narrow my prospects? Please say no. Please say no. I’m hoping you have time to answer and accept my phone calls. Please? Pretty please?

    Excuse me while I go compose myself. I’m all a-flutter waiting for your response.


  13. says

    That was soooo fun! I am looking forward to hugging a few bloggers that have been pre-qualified as ready for hugging :)

  14. says

    So basically what you are telling me is that we can’t be BBFF’s (bloggy best friends forever). That’s alright. I can handle it (sniff, sniff).

  15. Jules says

    I’m trying to find you a boyfriend as we speak….but I’m a little worried about breaking up the family…….

  16. alexis says

    i just watched the videos for the first time and i needed to comment (because you paid me to, remember?) and say that as soon as my katfacemask comes in the mail, i’m going to start vlogging too.

      • alexis says

        well i talk to myself all the time, so i suppose i could start talking to a machine instead…maybe i’ll just put my sex tape on my blog. that would save me a lot of time, since it’s already edited and everything.

    • says

      Fran is needy in real life too. Super clingy.

      Don’t be surprised if Brad calls you later. That’s how awesome I am.

      • says

        It’s not being needy. It just recognizing greatness in others and doing one’s best to emulate it.

        My mom says I’m making great strides in this area with my friends!

        {Fingers crossed.}

  17. says

    The next time we do something like this, we should make Jill the uncool chick and me the popular one that everyone wants to be. Your people would believe that, right Mama Kat?

    I SAID, RIGHT?!?!

    Who am I kidding? Jen, if you are still looking for a BFF, know that I will be waiting by the phone.

    And will probably answer on the first ring.


  18. Stephanie says

    Not sure I had ever thought about making friends with another blogger, at least not in the ways you mentioned! But I’m game to try.

  19. says

    I’m going to have over a hundred comments on this post…and half of them will be from me. That’s normal right?

  20. says

    Great advice but I didn’t know that bloggers can be that rude! It makes me think twice about calling one of my so called “bloggy friends.” I still enjoyed your videos.

    Okay, now that I read all the comments I am wondering if the calls were scripted. Were they?

  21. says

    Oh my heavens! Those were hilarious. I especially liked when you requested someone else call you in the future regarding the bloggy boot camps. You are quite an amusing lady (how is that for a compliment?… is it too much?).

  22. says

    Don’t be fooled, Alexandra. When Mama Kat writes about “exchanging Christmas cards”, what she really means is that you can send her cards and gifts in the mail. It’s not exactly a two way street.

    Trust me, I know.

    Oh, and PS, her un-birthday is June 26 in case you want to start shopping now.

  23. Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation says

    I think all of the comments are almost as good as the actually post.
    PS- You really are great with the whole “filming yourself” thing. I think it is time for another video to Ellen. She will totally recognize your improved vlog skills.
    PPS- I am still going to visit your blog everyday and comment, even if we can’t be best friends! :-)

    • says

      It’s actually a requirement…so thank you. And you’re totally right, I’m long overdo for another Ellen video!

  24. says

    You mean all these gals that keep emailing me and commenting on my blog were also supposed to bring me Jared Leto?

    Because that has NOT happened yet. I need to re-evaluate my blog friendships.

    Glad I finally made it to your blog. I have heard only bad, err, good things about you?

  25. says

    Since I obviously can’t be a bloggy BFF, can I be a bloggy little sister like character? The kind who wants to do everything you do and steals your clothes and make-up?

    • says

      Yes…my current little sister just had a baby and is not as available as I’d like her to be. You can be a temporary fill in. We’ll see how it goes.

  26. says

    Hmmmmm…how can I figure out what bloggers are my “equals”? I don’t want to shoot too high and be rebuffed. ; 0

    The things you come up with … I just don’t know what to say.

    • says

      There’s nothing wrong with taking a chance…what would have happened if Michael Jordan didn’t take a chance…on…I don’t even know where I’m going with that.

      Jenners…you know where you belong. *wink*.

  27. says crack me up.. and I really wish that you call me I wouldn’t be so mean lol.. I really do love your stuff. You are so witty and intelligent and I love your blog.. Ellen is really missing out on something special in you.

  28. says

    So, if I’ve already established that you’re cool, how much do I have to comment on your site before you give me the magic numbers that, when entered telephonically will get me through you, which means it will be your number?

    Oh wait, I think I skipped a bunch of steps. Maybe I should e-mail you first. Dammit.

  29. says

    I am totally sending you an Atticus Finch is my co-pilot t-shirt. I loved that book. It’s one of the two I actually read in high school. And don’t worry, Mama Kat, you don’t have to play it cool with me. I know you find it hard to believe, but I am SO not out of your league. You can comment at will.

  30. Kat says

    OMG OMG, your blog is amazing and we should be the bestest of friends EVER because we are both named Kat. And even Kathy for that matter. I will plan to email you every day to tell you how my day was. Ps. I just ate Mad Greens and I bet Ali wears yellow tonight. ;) ;)

  31. Leah says

    hahahahahahahahahahabawahahahah -breathe- hahahahahabawhaha -gasp- hahahahabawwahah – weeze—choke on spit-

  32. says

    Absolutely brilliant! That sums it up in a nutshell, fantastic idea for a post and I loved it. I will just say though that if one day I am really lucky and make it into your league as a blogger I promise I will never call you though :-) Step 3 is something one of my blogging acquaintances has clearly read the manual on, now I know what her game plan is, and reading the other Steps I have figured out a few more too!!

  33. says

    Not only is this blog hilarious but you’re spot on about making friends with fellow bloggers. I have found myself starting small and finding a few girls who are near where I live that I have a lot in common with.

    But of course there are many blogger “seniors” who I would love to chit chat about Johnny Depp with and send glittery xmas cards too as well :)

  34. says

    OK, so I do have one thing that might improve your blog. Umm, wait, no you are already doing that. Oh, here’s something else. No, no doing that too.

    Huh, I guess you are one of the cheerleaders of the blogging world. Sadly, I’m just a band geek. No hope for us being BFFs I guess. :-(

  35. says

    Dude. What the shit?! You didn’t call me?! So not cool. So. Not. Cool. This is because of JT isn’t it? Seriously. How long are you gonna be mad about me not taking you to that concert with me? It’s been months you know and I think it’s time you got over it. Seriously. It has to be that. Unless? Is it the emails? I mean I only email you like four or five times a day. That’s hardly considered “over doing it” as you say. I mean ask Angie and Fran. I totally email them at least that much. And, I effing smell Jill’s hair when we meet in social settings and she totally still talks to me. Although, come to think of it, she was a little distant last time we met. Hmmmm. I’m going to think on this for a bit and see which brand of crazy to introduce you to later. You know, when you CALL ME!

  36. says

    Okay, had to shoo my boys away from the computer to watch the videos b/c they are always convinced that a video is skype and they try to talk to the person on the video.

    LMAO!!!! Though, the comments are what are really making me laugh- and I usually don’t read the other comments, but I’m glad I did on this one.

  37. says

    blogs are just like high school–calling only popular people with the most followers..

    very cute LOL with angie and francesca

    I should try that with my BWB buds and stalk their blogs

  38. Megan (Best of Fates) says

    Those videos are beyond hilarious, I loved them. Also, I’m so impressed with the volume and sound quality of your phone!

    Is that a weird thing to focus on?

  39. says

    Megan- I too was blown away by the sound quality of the phone.
    Mama Kat- Fortunately I don’t really want to be friends with anyone in real life anyway – so there thppp!

  40. says

    You’re sooooo awesome! You’re my favorite blogger- we could so totally be BFF’s! Oh wait- I’m not supposed to do that am I. Darn it all. Well hey. Whatever.

  41. says

    This was hilarious! I must go visit Angie and thank her promptly for sending me your way. Thanks for the laughs. And to those people who tell me I should find some “REAL” friends… I’m sending this their way too.

  42. Liz Burgess says

    I’m dying, I’m laughing so hard! Your days must be so much fun! Thanks for all the tips, and especially for sharing your personal telephone calls with me! I also appreciate the writing prompts each week. I’m a newby at writing, and in my own nerdy way, I feel like someone likes me when I get a comment from someone else reading your blog!

  43. says

    I guess Fran should feel lucky since you totally used your caller ID and didn’t even bother to answer MY call! Whatever!!

    Love your videos. You crack me up.

  44. says

    By the way, I am by no means insinuating that I’m a senior. I definitely am not better than at least half of you.

  45. says

    So clearly I should not try and make friends with you because clearly you are the cool senior with the car and Im the geeky underclassman who cant vlog to save her life”… I saw your comment…. but Im confident Im the half you’re better than. ;)

  46. Brittany says

    Funniest post I have read in a while! Made me literally laugh out loud. Thanks…Keep em coming Kat!

  47. says

    I am cracking up. That was hysterical. I honestly have never stopped by here…maybe once a long time ago, and you being the blog goddess that you are, figured, I am the Freshman, while you are definitely the Senior! But, that cracked me up. Thank you for giving me a great laugh this evening!

  48. says

    Oh my! That is too funny! Love the videos!

    For real though, it’s completely amazing to develop real friendships with people you’ve met blogging! I have developed some really great friendships with an amazing group of bloggers I talk to daily. I love them!

  49. says

    Everytime I think I’ve seen it all, you pull something else out of your bag of tricks! Thanks for the great suggestions. I’ll need them when I start my new BFF campaign. lol Have a great day Kat.

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud

  50. Jayme says

    Little disturbed that Scary Mommy likes to keep people in her computer- I totally am visualizing her cramming body parts into a monitor…

    • says

      When you get your own show…can I work for you? Just tell me what to do.

      And I am totally inspired to go buy lip gloss today. Everything else just went to the bottom of the priority list today. It’s all about the lip gloss.

  51. says

    I found this especially funny because I saw you and Fran and Jill hanging out at Baltimore Bloggy Bootcamp ;-) Funny post! I hope you don’t get IRL stalkers.

  52. says

    That is so funny! I know that even though we’ve never talked on the phone, we are totally real life friends. Remember all those comments I made on your blog? And remember how you emailed me once? BFF for sure! So let’s get together and BBQ sometime.

  53. says

    Well, I want to be your new BFF. So I’m going to take all of your suggestions…what size shirt do you wear?


  54. says

    Well, I was the wallflower at school and you’re like, the cheerleader, but whatever. :-) I cracked up at your videos. Thanks for the pointers on finding bloggy BFFs!

  55. Elaine says

    These are all good (the videos) but the last one is the awesome-est! :) And your tips are good too. Brilliant actually.

    P.S. that was my comment complimenting you but I promise I’m not ‘stalky’ (much) ;)

  56. says

    hysterical funny! love it! And having just met some of my favorite bloggers IRL the other day- it is definitely fun to make the connection to the real people.

  57. says

    1. havent I always charmed you with my witty comments? Remember the time I made the joke about your mom and all her dead husbands?

    2. Remember that time I told you how beautiful you looked in your after birth pictures? That wasn’t too much.

    3. Remember that time you posted your letter to Ellen and I tweeted the link to her?

    4. I gave Brad Pitt your address.

    5. remember that time I made fun of you….all those times?

    6. You got the apron, right?

    7. Remember that time I asked if you were going to have more kids?

    8. I just don’t understand why we aren’t BFF’s.

    I’m taking your picture down from my ceiling.

  58. Leigh says

    Ha! If a blog friend hooked me up with a boyfriend, we would indeed be friends for life.

  59. says

    I’m totally going to do this. I’m going to get her a boyfriend. So what if it breaks up her marriage, she’ll have me to bemoan its demise with.

  60. Adrienne says

    So what are you saying? You don’t want to be BFF? Great post! LOL (as usual!)

  61. says

    SO fun!

    The tips kind of remind me about that book “The Rules” or something like that – it was do/don’t tips on how to get a guy to like you – ever heard of it?

    Anyhow, I think you missed your calling as an actress – your expressions were spot on – well done!

  62. Ashley says

    hilarious.. and BTW the gift this did work for me.. One girl sent coloring books for my girls for chirstmas one year.. I thought odd but nice and guess what we still chat 3 years later.

  63. says

    HA! This is classic- Freshman vs Seniors. That’s why I went into HS as a Sophmore!

    Love your blog. I mean, it’s just ok. *smile*

  64. says

    Dude. You didn’t call me. And don’t give me that whole I don’t know your number bit. Just because you don’t know who the hell I am should not mean anything. Just sayin.

  65. says

    I’m too scared to answer the phone or make cold calls… that social anxiety disorder thing. No, really. I couldn’t do the phone calls. But I do try to be friends with some lovely bloggers. I’ve met one in person just ’cause we live in the same samll town, but I know nothing will come of it. Could totally use friends. Maybe I should get into the stalking like everyone else. LOL!

  66. says

    “You can’t jump in as a Freshman and expect to BFF a popular senior.”

    No, Mama Kat, no. :( Surely you don’t really mean this. It sounds a little like a blogging caste system.

    I mean, I get what you’re saying about experience and all, buuuut the New Kids on the Block are always cool. Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh.

  67. says

    I’m crushed…..this totally means your out of my blog friend league…bummer! No BFF status for me!
    Truly funny! Always entertaining! You and Angie are the first two blogs I started following regularly. Angie’s been great through my Momo Twin situation and I really enjoy both of your blogs. So funny to see you all play off of one another. :-) Maybe I should head to Bloggy Bootcamp so I can figure all this out and get into your blog stature, then can we be friends? ;-)

  68. says

    Soooo…..I don’t think I am even a freshman yet…..8th grade, maybe!!! Lol!!! This was hysterical!!! And I needed a good laugh today!! I will totally take all of your tips onto consideration!! ;)

  69. says

    Ok, got hooked on this while searching your site for clues on where to find that “search by subject” widget with all the different sized words.
    You may not be Blogzilla or whomever, but I think you are definitely a senior, while I am only a mere freshman.
    I’d love to be your friend though.
    Maybe when I become blogzilla…lol
    If Blogzilla is a real person, and I’ve violated some kind of registered trademark… I appologize. I thought I was just making up a term.

  70. says

    That was hysterical! I loved it- great tips, too. In all honesty the bloggers I consider really good friends, I’m not sure it was something we planned, it just evolved like an IRL relationship does! :) I love blogland!

  71. says

    OK: the post itself is too true for comfort. LOL!
    And poor Fran: if I hadn’t seen the two of you sitting together side by side in the writer’s workshop at Bloggy Boot Camp, I’d be sending Fran some flowers.
    Truly: this is HYSTERICALLY funny.

    Have you blocked me yet?


    You’re not that into me, are you?


  1. […] Kat (and all of my bloggy idols for that matter) is she’s approachable. When I read her post: How to Make Real Life Friends with Your Favorite Blogger – I took it to heart and was determined to make her one of my “real” friends. And […]