Let me start by saying you’ll never make best friends with your favorite blogger if your favorite blogger is The Bloggess or Dooce or Pioneer Woman. Lower your standards. Your new real life blog friend needs to be someone at about your level.
You can’t jump in as a Freshman and expect to BFF a popular senior. Instead make friends with another Freshman…when you become seniors you won’t care how popular you are because you’ll have created a lasting friendship with people you really care about.
Now that your standards have been adequately lowered, here is what you must do:
- Narrow Your Prospects
Choose four or five bloggers that you think have real life friendship potential. Comment on their blogs, but don’t be stalky about it. If they don’t comment back right away don’t give up. You will win them over with witty, charming, delightful comments. It may take some time for them to realize how awesome you are. Be patient.
- Compliment them sparingly
Don’t act all “oh my gosh oh my gosh I think you’re incredible we could be best FRIENDS!” crazy.
By talking them up TOO much you put them in a different league as you. Play it cool. They’d be lucky to have YOU as a friend. At least…that’s what you’re going to act like. We all know you’re kind of a weirdo.
- Improve Their Blog
Share advise on how to make their blog better. By sharing tips and tricks you find online they will let their guard down and realize you really are there to help and not to sabotage their online life. Perhaps there’s a neat plugin you found that they might appreciate, maybe you can share how you were able to bring extra traffic to your site and encourage them to do the same…I don’t know, think of something.
By being knowledgeable and helpful you will not only create a dependency where your blog friends not only like you, but NEED you around, you will also create a cycle of reciprocation. Your new blog friend will feel so grateful for the information you’ve shared that she will in turn want to share with you what she has picked up on her blogging journey as well.
- Find Them A Boyfriend
Your new blog friends would be indebted for life if you could somehow arrange a date for them with the likes of Jared Leto…or Brad Pitt…or Steadman. Whoever their crush happens to be on. Think of how much they would love you for putting something like that together.
- Find Something To Make Fun Of
Women are gossipy. It’s sad, but oh so true. We love to laugh and sometimes at the expense of the train wrecks we see in real life…or in blog land. It bonds us. Use that. And believe me, there are plenty of people out there making asses of themselves. Not YOU of course…other people.
- Send Them Gifts
Your blog friends would like you to send them chocolate. Or Christmas cards (in December only). Or gift cards. Or a shirt that says “Atticus Finch Is My CoPilot” (just off the top of my head). Do it! Buying love and camaraderie is acceptable and necessary in terms of creating long and lasting friendships.
- Email Them But Don’t Overdo It!
We don’t want to suffocate our new blog friends, but sending an email to ask her how their mom is doing after falling off a ladder adds a personal touch that will be appreciated by your new friend.
You don’t want to email your friend repetitively for help with your problems. Your friend only wants to talk about herself, so in the beginning be sure to make it all about her. Save your issues for your therapist, unless you’re asked to share.
- Make The Jump
The transition from email to phone begins with an important question. Think of something you NEED to ask your friend that would take way too long to answer via email, “Hey I’m having a problem with this widget on my blog…I see yours is still working, but I can’t figure mine out…are you going to be around later? Is it okay if I give you a call so I can pick your brain a bit??”
Inevitably this will lead to more blog talk, perhaps a quick word about the family and dinner plans, and before you know it your new blog friend will be calling every time you write something on Twitter that cracks her up.
Now watch me at work as I make a house call to some bloggers who I’d like to be my real life friends (totally looking for real life friend replacements by they way! Accepting applications!!):
First I called Angie from Seven Clown Circus to peak in on her and her life in clown land:
Then I called Jill from Scary Mommy for a quick howdy doo:
And then this happened when Francesca from Mayhem And Moxie called me: