We strapped on his swim trunks and convinced him to get in the water.
Pat had gone in with him and dove underwater for a refreshing dip when Kainoa decided to casually walk off the steps and into the too deep water. My sister and I were standing at the poolside temporarily distracted by her five year old’s brave jump.
When I saw Kainoa flailing alone I started screaming as only a mother can. Pat was maybe three feet from my boy and I couldn’t will him to surface from his dip any faster. “GET HIM!!! PAAAT!!! OH NOOOO GET HIMMMM!!!” Our voices bounced off the walls and echoed in a way that made everyone stop mid-swim to watch my boy nearly drown…everyone that is…accept Pat.
The whole thing happened in about 30 seconds…it’s slow motion in my mind because the look of panic in Kainoa’s eyes as he sunk below the surface and stared up at me from beneath the water will forever be etched in my brain…this is how kids die, this is what he would look like drowning…but in reality Pat surfaced in real time, and while he slowly wiped the excess water from his brow, he became aware of the frantic screaming around him and waded over to rescue his son as quickly as the restricting water would allow.
I started to beat myself up about why I didn’t just jump in and get him, but I can’t go there. I knew Pat was RIGHT THERE and that Kainoa would be okay, it just seemed to take longer than I wanted.
Now when Kainoa sees this picture I took of him 20 minutes after the fact,
he sadly narrates the story all over again, “under mommy…all wet…I go under…Kainoa okay…”
It traumatized both of us.
I think I’ll look into swimming lessons for the kids…that is…if I can convince him to get back in the water.
Scary Mommy says
So fucking scary. So glad he’s OK. Remind me why pools have to exist??
Angel says
OH girl I would have been a basket case like you. My kids have no fear of the water and I am terrified of them in it.. but they are all grea swimmers thanks to lessons and them learning real quick momma don’t play with water games..so glad he was okay
Mom taxi Julie says
I think each one of my kids has done that! My favorite swimmng device is those one piece swim suit things that look like a tire in the middle. You put those on them and you don’t have to worry as much. I think my last 2 totally learned how to swim from those. I never did swim lessons and all my kids are pretty good swimmers now.
Pua says
I don’t think I would have been able to even stand there and scream. I would have probably passed out from fear…thank goodness he’s okay!
UnknownMami says
Terrifying!
Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation says
That is so scary. I had that moment in my sisters warm hot tub. Sadie just slipped under as my sister and I chatted away and all of a sudden I look over and Sadie is staring up at me from underwater. It was frightening! I yelled at my sister to grab her. Why the hell didn’t I grab her? Such a weird moment and I still wonder why I froze so much. Shear panic I suppose.
Michelle @ One Crafty Mama says
Pools and kids make me very paranoid. My girls are 14 and 11 and I still watch them like a hawk when they swim. You can never be too careful around water…..especially with little ones.
dusty earth mother says
oh, my God, that picture! That about did me in after the story. Soooooo glad it had a happy ending…oy…
Alicia says
Despite the fact that I am not technically ‘scared’ of the water I have nightmares about my kids drowning. I put my daughter in swim lessons when she had just turned 3 and there were little bitty babies there too, about 9 months and up. I was amazed! Since she’s been taking swim classes, she’s learned how to get to the wall of the pool or a dock and climb out (in the case there aren’t stairs). I feel much better about the kids being in a pool, water parks, the beach, or the lake since they’ve been taking swim lessons as they focus on safety swimming and survival techniques. Like you said, 30 seconds can seem like an eternity and it’s just not worth it! Plus.. kids LOVE swim lessons. At least mine do. :)
I’m glad your son is OK!!
Michelle says
Finn has been taking swim lessons since he was 10 months old and it’s the best thing we’ve done for him as parents. Now, he just turned three and he is very comfortable in the water. It is obviously not a substitute for careful monitoring while around water, but an addition to that.
So glad your little guy is ok.
Molly says
Blargh! I had a similar experience once. My dad thought I could swim…. He had me jump off the steps and swim to him. He was standing too far back and I sunk like a stone. Luckily he just ran forward and plucked me out of the water. I was terrified.
Pools and small children give me serious anxiety. poor guy! swimming lessons ASAP.
cheri says
that look on kainoa is haunting. thank God he’s ok….
KLZ says
Oh, so scary. The photo is gorgeous but doesn’t give the moment justice. One of the few times a photo is not worth 1000 words.
June Freaking Cleaver says
Every kid should have swimming lessons, for safety reasons, and just cuz it’s fun!
I had been terrified of water, no thanks to my parents (who shared their fear).
I did the same thing as Kainoa, but I was in 3rd grade, at the Y. The teacher told me to jump in the deep end and swim across. I told him I couldn’t – then I showed him. He had to save me.
I was afraid and humiliated. The next lesson, I got demoted to the babyish group and started over. I went through the entire Y program in a year – I showed him.
I’ll never forget that. His name was Craig, and he bitched that he got his Tshirt and his class ring wet.
Lindsay @ Just My Blog says
Oh my gosh, I lived that exact same scenario with my baby cousin! I stood there screaming at my uncle to get him! It wasn’t until after the fact that I thought about it and realized that I could have just as easily jumped in there and got him out myself.
It’s so scary remembering how quickly these things can happen. I’m glad Kainoa’s alright :)
Jen says
I can totally relate. When Hayden was at this age, something similar happened to him. But it didn’t slow him down at all. He still loves the water and now has taken swimming lessons ever since.
Oh and he and the other kids MUST wear a life jacket at all times near the water. No if and or but about it.
Julie@my5monkeys says
I have been there many time with my kids and them being scared of the water. Hugs. I need to sign my kids up again for swimming lessons again too.
Kattia says
OMG, that is so scary and I am so glad he is ok. I could say that I understand because it happen to my daughter. I know the pounding of your heart that rings as if it is between your ears. When it happen to Lady T, I was inside and she was outside with her cousins and Dad. They were placing balloons in the pool for a party. Although I was inside something in me heard the splash and panicked. while running out of the house I just had this vision of finding my daughter stretched out next to the pool, that same slow motion feeling that felt like it took hours for me to exit the house. Fortunately, when she fell in she grab on to the stairs for dare life and her cousin jumped in to get herw. Hugs to you and Kainoa. Is it an innate feature for mommies to blame themselves?
Frugal Vicki says
Oh, what a sad little picture. My son let go of the wall at swim class….and the dumb lifeguard never even jumped in. I will never forget the look on his face either.
I'm a full-time mummy says
Oh man… that is so scary. Hope he doesn’t get traumatized too long with it. My uncle once dragged me along to swim in this beach when I clearly am not ready to, I was almost at my waist level and I totally freaked out when the waves came.. until today, I do not dare to learn swimming… sigh…
Lourie says
There is a duck pond not far from our house. I was there with my kids, and my cousin’s kids. All these little ones getting ever closer to the edge. And wouldn’t you know it, my kid is the one who fell in! I have an awful yet awesome picture of after the fact too. As I read your story, it was like reading my own. The way time stood still, the way he flailed in the water. It’s truly a scary thing. But they were both okay. He will go back in the water. He will. He might cling to the edge for a while, but he will go back.
Aging Mommy says
Water is such a fun experience and all kids love it, but it can also turn into a very scary experience, very quickly. Glad things turned out OK on this occasion.
kisatrtle says
mine almost drown at swim lessons.
angie says
Oh no. His face. And his words. Poor little thing. And poor you, too. So scary.
Allison @ Alli 'n Son says
Oh God, this scares the crap out of me. The way you described it, it’s like it happened to my son. Terrifying. I’m so glad that he was OK.
Jennifer says
Something similar happened with my cousin’s little boy. We were all sitting around the pool talking and it was the end of the day and he had been afraid of the water and hadn’t wanted to go in at all. He was walking on the top step and either slipped or thought it was ok to step off. I looked at the pool and saw him bobbing. I just jumped into action and grabbed him out. His mother did the exact same thing you did, and which is the exact same thing I would do if it were one of my kids.
Dude, the water is scary.
Elaine says
OH yes, they MUST know how to swim. Get him lessons now, he may be scared at first but he’ll thank you later. We are off to some this afternoon as a matter of fact. :) I know this is scary though, so scary!
Alexandra says
Hi, MamaKat: don’t have another way to get ahold of you, wanted to refer you to the article the impact of losing a parent as a child in today’s Wall Street Journal. page D1.
I know that both you and I lost our father at the same age, this article is wonderful to read. It;s the Wall Street Journal, page D1, June 2.
HUGE article, very well written and insightful. I was thinking what a good writing prompt that would be for those of us who have lost parents: it’d be so cleansing.
What do you think?
Natalie says
Poor guy! You can tell how scared he was :(
I had the twins in the bathtub with my son last night, got one of them out to dry off, I turn back around and my son pushed the other one over…she was totally under water. Scared THE HELL out of me so I can relate, unfortunately
Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos says
That sounds SO frightening!!!!
Tracy P. says
YES! Lessons! Before you know it they’ll be asking you to go to the pool with their friends. And then out on a lake with a jet ski. Make them learn now!
But if you can, let Pat take care of the whole thing. It will be best if they take their cues about water from him and not from you.
Em says
this happened to my 4 year old daughter a week ago in the river while we were all at the sandbar. OMG talk about the scariest thing ever. My mother in law dove in like a superhero before I could even scream. way to make me feel shitty. but thank God everything was fine. She described that same look of terror!
Cascia @ Healthy Moms says
That must have been scary for everyone involved. I just can’t imagine watching my kid nearly drown like that. Two of my children are currently taking swimming lessons. Thank God for that.
Glad to hear that everything worked out and he is alright.
Andrea says
Holy scary, That must have been awful. Whew. I held my breath, even though I knew things turned out OK.
Nicole says
I would have been traumatized too…..whoa!
Kmama says
Oh my goodness. Pure terror. Poor little punkin. I’m so glad he was okay and that Pat was there. In a moment like that, seconds seem to take hours. When my son had his first seizure and turned blue and was not responded (though he was looking right at me), I swear it was hours before he started breathing again. (hugs) to mama!
Jenners says
Scary.
Look at those eyes!!!
Angel says
both my brother and sister did similar things, Airforce was about two and just sitting on the edge of my grandfather’s pool when he fell in, my uncle who was drinking a beer just reached down and grabbed him, but my father says everything played in slow motion and 7 year old me was trying to swim over and let him on my floaties.
Then when I was 14, I was sitting on the deck of a friends pool listening to my CD player on my headphones, all the adults and other kids were inside when my sister Jujube just started walking down the steps of the pool she stepped in over her head and I heard the splash and as soon as I processed what was going on I jumped in after her CD player and all, my family said that it all happened in the blink of an eye for them but all i remember is thinking I wouldn’t make it to her in time.
Ams says
That look!!! That alone is killing me…
My kids LOVE going swimming with me for fun but HATE swimming lessons. I really really need to get them in there because seriously – that’s one of the best lessons a kid can have under their belt. It’s just convincing THEM of that!
Amy says
oh my goodness how scary. the look on their faces as they go under is so scary and one you will remember forever.
Jessica says
That would have just made my heart drop into my stomach! It’s such an awful feeling to know that something terrible is happening right before your eyes and you can’t seem to function fast enough to stop it yourself!
But, you’re right! You knew he would be safe with his daddy, and thankfully he was!
Helene says
Something similar happened to my daughter when she was 2 years old and we were swimming at my mom’s house. She stepped off the steps, thinking there was another one there and into the water she fell…the look of panic and fear in her eyes is something I will never ever forget, just like you mentioned. It stays etched in my brain and it makes me feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it. Thankfully, my brother was nearby in the pool and got to her quickly but it felt like an eternity watching it happen.
So thankful your little one was okay….that picture makes my heart melt.
Erin says
OMG despite how traumatic that was…he looks so dang CUTE!!!
Cari says
Aww! How scary!
Jade says
wow!
I looked up to see my son come in drenched from a fall in the pool..he was only 4.
He couldnt swim.
We were at a family member’s house..there were people everywhere..but not me. Just his 6 year old cousin saw it.
Amazingly he ‘ran’ on the bottom of the pool to the shallow area.
After that day I became his shadow at any pool function…no matter how many people were ‘watching’ the pool.
It was a few years before he gained confidence to try swimming at all!
Via says
Oh the horror of pools! My nephew was 2 when he slipped into our pool off the deck and we were all on the other side. We got him out, he coughed a few times, then declared “haha do ‘gain!” ….at least someone thought it was funny!