Growing up as a girl is not an easy task. We are easily filled with self doubt and insecurities. And it starts young. I remember envying my best friend Erin’s hair in first grade. Her mother’s only daughter, she was always wearing ribbons and bows and fancy clips.
The seeds of insecurity are planted early, no?
By fifth grade it was clear that I was supposed to “like” someone. Having a boyfriend meant you were pretty…and likable…and pretty.
The process of “going out” and breaking up in fifth grade is the equivalent to reading up on the Hollywood who’s who in USWeekly. And who doesn’t want to be in USWeekly?
But nobody liked me like that. I did not have the blond curls and the blue eyes and the olive toned skin. I was no Shannon Baker.
When my oldest sister’s high school boyfriend asked me if I had a boyfriend, I mumbled something about not being good enough for a boyfriend.
He mis-heard me, “Nobody’s GOOD enough for you?? Is that what you said!?! Hahahaha…you guys hear that??”
Everybody laughed.
“yeah that’s right!” I said, “nobody’s good enough for me!! That’s exactly what I said!!”
More laughter. Quick Comeback Kathy. That’s me.
From that point on whenever someone asked me if I liked a boy or questioned why I wasn’t “going out” with someone, I’d shoot back my ready reply, “because nobody’s good enough for me hahahahahahahahahaha!”
And I was always pleased with the reactions. Everybody thought it was hilarious and gave me an “atta girl!” speech after hearing my mantra.
Nobody’s good enough for me.
The beauty about sticking with a line like that is that you actually start to believe it…until you get to high school and all of those superficial insecurities come back and punch you in the face.
Now it’s your turn!
Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back and sign Mr. Linky. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!
The Prompts:
1.) The Love List. Write a list of 50 things you look for in a man.
2.) Write a poem about a picture.
3.) What does your child do that reminds you most of yourself? How does it make you feel?
4.) Write a letter to whatever is stopping you from losing the extra weight you’d like to lose.
5.) What summer means to your family.
{ 74 comments… read them below or add one }
i could totally relate. i was always very insecure and was never the one with a boyfriend. i wish i would have had your comeback line.
I am the opposite of you…I’m No or pathetic comeback Kisha. I always figure out what I wanted to say four hours later after the adrenaline has worn off:)
I was very similar to you. All the way through college, actually. I pretended like nobody was good enough for me when I was just very, very insecure. Much easier to put up a wall and shut out others before they shut me out. This is my first time doing your writing workshop and I had a blast doing it! Thank you so much for creating it. I tried to put your link in my post but it didn’t put a picture in? Am I doing something wrong? I just pasted the code at the bottom of my post.
I wish I could have been a quick comeback girl… I always have the most moronic ones at the moment someone makes fun of me and it isn’t until several hours later that I come up with a better one. I can relate with your insecurities though. That’s why when a guy I don’t really like asks me out, I jump at that opportunity even though I’d end up regretting it very fast. Insecurities suck.
I usually get my comeback too late to utilize it….
I always had a snappy comeback AFTER the fact! LOL
That’s an awesome comeback!
Amazing how comebacks will show your insecurities!
Great comeback! I always think of them too late. Off to finish my post so I can link up!
felt the same way, except…I wasn’t witty like you! I just never talked and got teased that I looked like a dog. Nice, right?! Lame. Boys are lame!
I actually got mine up this week!!!
This SO resonates with me to the core. I SO do not miss being a teen…although, if I could go back and do it now, I would SO be WAY cooler…..
I’m not really that convincing with the cool factor given all my ‘SO’ statements….eh….what can you do….. ;-D
This was my first time playing along, and I’m so glad I did! That was fun!
I always had the good comebacks in my head, but when it came to using them I went spineless.
Every girl should have that kind of self image. Way to go!
By the way, I don’t know if my blog will be back up soon or not, but I linked up anyway, just in case. If you want to delete me I’ll understand.
I did some kind of strange combo of #1 and #4. I hope it’s up and running soon. Wish me virtual luck!
I think if I had to go back and do it over, my comeback would be, “If I tell you, then I have to kill you”…and look like I meant it. Then I’d walk away – a well-timed exit is important for the success of comebacks, in my opinion.
Or maybe I’m full of it.
If I tell ya, then I have to kill ya.
I was tongue-tied and still am. It’s that whole niceness thing. Sarcasm stays in my head and so do all the other snappy retorts.
I was always too tomboyish and athletic for boys to like me… which i was ok with, but i never had those witty comebacks for the girls who picked on me!
I’m pretty good on the comeback, if I do say so myself. I’ve got a rendition of Prompt #2 today, and a SWEET giveaway, so please come by!
I remember those insecurities! I was too short … my feet were too short … growing up is a tough thing!
Great prompts this week!
The comeback was a great recovery, but what jumps out at me is the story about you being envious of Erin’s hair in the 1st grade.
I was just telling a friend this weekend that we became friends when we were 5 because I saw her sitting next to a girl with beautiful long hair, and I scooted across the kindergarten floor to sit on the other side of the girl with long hair so maybe I would get beautiful long hair, too.
Neither one of us ever got that hair, but we became friends. Meanwhile, we wonder what ever happened to that girl with the long hair.
This actually triggered a lot of memories for me… Hmmm! ;
I wanted to be liked and I wanted to be busy outside of MY house where the EVIL STEP-FATHER resided… BLEH!! It was my job to pretend that we were a happy/loving family… To do otherwise was disloyal to my mother who didn’t want me rocking the boat of this creep taking her with 3 kids in and then they had 3 more… So began my journey of faking my way through life trying to be things I was not and gain approval of others.
I like your post but what the heck prompt are you writing about? Did I miss something .. or do you have special prompts just for you?
What an awesome line…I think I’ll teach my daughter to say that over and over and over again!!!
I just read Jenners comment…thank God someone else was thinking that…I thought I was going crazy!
This is super awesome!
I love the post, but I’m with Jenners. What prompt was this?
And you were right you know. No one was good enough for you. If they couldn’t recognize all the fantastic qualities you possess then they definitely didn’t deserve you.
You would never put me in the “girls with boyfriends” category either. Though I admire your humor about it and way to deal with it. So many people aren’t that confident in H.S.
That was actually a pretty brilliant comeback — glad you stuck with it even if it started out as being misunderstood!
I am horrible at comebacks. I always think of the perfect thing AFTER the event has occurred.
totally come with the good stuff after too
I wasn’t the popular or cute one either…by a long shot. I wish I’d had the witty comeback gene though. That would have come in handy at times. :)
I always thought of that great comeback five minutes later….remember those days vividly
Found you as a link off someone else’s and I like what I saw. Hope you don’t mind I’m tagging along!
I always thought of comebacks later when it didn’t matter anymore. I totally suck at comebacks! :)
I’ve never been one for good comebacks. I always think of things to say like 3 days later…man thats sad. LOL.
OH, how I wish I was a quick comeback girl. I always, always think of the perfect one about an hour or two too late!
I’m sure that line would have gotten me through middle school and high school. I started dating in college. Boy was I insecure. Thanks for sharing!
I was such a mousy, bookworm in school, the boys never looked at me. College was much better. And I could usually come up with a snarky retort but not in high school.
That is funny. Boyfriends were overrated in high school.
I can totally relate. I did not have many boyfriends in high school or elementary schools. (Even though those love lasted like a week at most)
As I got older, I grew more confident (probably like you) and could approach guys and realized when you actually got to know them they really weren’t half bad.
And some guys even lie it when you approach them.
But I only went to one prom too. And I asked.
I love this post Mama Kat. Good writing.
Good thing Pat was good enough for you ;)
I can’t link up, but I am doing a prompt today!
Did you have those lists at your junior high/high school? The prettiest, friendliest, most outgoing, most athletic, most all around, with a graph to mark a 1-10?
I always got all around gal pal with a 7. ONE time I got a 9 1/2!
I’m soooo glad those days are over.
I told my sixteen-year old to tell all the guys they were dumb and she was never dating any of them. Then, they’d be begging at her feet for a date, since they just looove a challenge. She might have taken it too far, being her last few Facebook updates are…..Guys are retaaaaaarded. No joke…… You’re retarded……….Boys are soo stupid. Seriously, get a clue and grow a heart.
Oops. Tee hee.
I was always to picky and never wanted to settle! Then I found my future husband!
I have a post but couldn’t link up either!
Peer pressure – it’s ridiculous. Just another reason why I homeschool my three children. It was terrible when I was in school (I’m now 33), I cannot imagine what it is like for kids now. I was lucky enough to be one of the popular kids – how I’m not sure, since I was usually painfully shy and preferred to be the wallflower. As for dating, I always turned everyone down, that is until I met my husband. Huh, now that I think about it, it was 17 years ago today that we went on our first date…funny how memories take shape. Your response was excellent – I’m sure no one was good enough back then. Peace. ;)
I would never go back to high school, or middle school. Teenagers are so cruel to each other. I was never part of the “in-crowd” but now that I am older and look back at it. I am so happy I wasn’t and loved my small group of friends.
linking up b/c the mcklinky is down for me…. :(
http://www.workwifemomlife.com/2010/06/spittin-image.html
I know what you mean. I was always very insecure and very much an ugly duckling until I got into high school. That’s when I started to bloom. So even though guys were finally paying attention to me, I was too insecure to know what to do! Sigh. I sooooo want to teach my girls confidence. Even if you aren’t the prettiest girl out there, confidence will take you a very long way!
Ya know, I never had lots of boyfriends or anything either… but I am so happy with the way things turned out for me. :) Which brings me to my FIRST time participating in the writer’s workshop, although I had to change up the prompt just a bit!
Awesome post though I am with the crew that wondered what prompt you were using. :) I think that was a GREAT come back, even if unintentional, and more little girls need to learn to believe that they deserve to wait for someone good enough for them!
Wrote a post and got it up. Will be back later to see if the Linky works.
I never got the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing in elementary school – but maybe it was just becuase I never had one. “No one was good enough” for me either – me being the geeky girl with glasses who’d rather read than run around the playground.
:)
It is funny how everyone assumes the joker in the mix is a happy, confident person and yet so often when you dig down deep and get to know that person they are anything but and the comic routines are all a mask to hide their insecurities. Everyone admires the funny man or woman and sometimes passes them over almost, assuming they are doing just fine.
dude, I was the typical blond-haired, freckle-faced, cute-smile, not-fat-not-skinny little girl. And they STILL hated me. All of ‘em. I was tortured with teasing until I left 8th grade and fled to a private school where no one knew me, for a fresh start.
I felt like I was a new person. Like I’d shed my old self and had a chance to reinvent myself. It was kinda awesome.
And, one of the most awesome things? All the comebacks I’d had stored up in my head from all those years of teasing? Now I had the nerve to use them. And use them I did. I was a verbal force to be reckoned with in high school. Of course, the pendulum swung the other way and I became known as unapprochable and a bitch. Ah, well, I can never seem to get it right!
I remember those days of “going out” with a boy… which soley meant talking on the phone and having very awkward moments – do I hold his hand, should I kiss him, why am I sweating so much??? Geez, definitely don’t miss that!
This story totally reminds me of my childhood. Except I don’t specifically remember always having a savvy comeback. I was the “funny” one though, so apparently I must have had some comebacks. Oh how childhood/teenhood can be so horrible!! It is funny though to look back now at the things that bothered me then—legitimate as they were, you realize as an adult how stupid kids can be! :) Hopefully my little one is able to avoid these traumas!
I had a good two and half years where I was a girl who got boyfriends. 3, exactly. However, I went through most of high school and now most of college without a boyfriend. It friggen sucks. Boys suck.
I’m hoping the next boyfriend is “the one” and I’ll never have to date ever again. *sigh*
I can soooo relate to your story because it’s mine too, just minus the comeback. I didn’t develop my “comeback gene” until I was much older — oh well, better late than never.
I always wished I could make a great comeback, but I was one of those people who thought about something great to say two days later. I’m envious. However, I do love that comeback–I’m going to tell every unmarried/non-attached girl I know to start saying that. Brilliant.
What a great story…I love that, “nobody is good enough for me :)”
WHATEVER! No one is GOOD enough for you, girl! (well, maybe one guy) I love it! I hope my daughter tells people that someday!
Well my link works now, I think!! I hope!! If any of you leave comments, I’ll KNOW!! If you follow, I follow back! (((HUGS)))
Cute story! Sigh. . .young love. :)
I didn’t have a chance to post this again today. GRR. I so started #3 and #4 too!!!! :(
“Hello and thank you for calling Slackers -R- Us, my name is Cassi. How can I NOT assist you?”
I’m reading this post to my 9 year old girl who is going through this exact phase right now (grade 4, my early starter). Wish I’d know this before the last week of school, could have saved quite a few tears!
Glad to see Mr. Linky’s fixed. Peace. ;)
I always thought I was too good for most of the boys in my hometown. But I still wished they had wanted to date me.
Oh my… the flashbacks… I remember having so many crushes in 4th and 5th grade on boys that had “girlfriends”– and then my two best friends started “dating” (can it even be called “dating” in 4th grade?) Since then I’ve definitely used that “comeback”… but now I wonder if it’s become TOO true–like can I ever find someone that IS good enough?
Nobody WAS good enough for you before Pat :)
Thinking of my limited dating days, I’m so glad I’m married.
I linked up without leaving a comment. My bad, so here is my comment.
Comment. :)
Ah yes, the days of school dances where the boys were on one side of the gym and the girls on another. In 7th grade I remember that a boyfriend gave me a bag of jellybeans as a gift—not sure for what. jellybeans? really?
You know I’m dumb, so you’re gonna have to explain to me which prompt you chose, because I am confused. So very.
Well darn, the linky must have closed as I (finally) finished my post. :( Oh well, I’ll try again next time…
Oh for pete’s sake. Disregard the last comment. I installed a “NoScript” thingy on my Firefox and it didn’t occur to me that this was why I didn’t see the linky. :P I never claimed to have much common sense.
OK, I finally figured out how to put the picture and link into the post. Thank goodness my husband is a computer god.
High school was brutal, but god, thinking back, I seem to recall 5-7th grade being the most brutal of all in girl-world. I wish I’d had the gift of the comeback!!