Haha that’s hilarious! But its true, I honestly believe that most parents don’t really get on the floor and play with their children. I’m not a mom, just a nanny, and I too am guilty of setting kids up with things to do and not getting down and playing with them!
Roflmbo @ physically attacking daddy for hurting thekids. I soooo do that and I have 3 boys. Even now I am like for the love of God Gene you pack 300 pound cabinets every day you have no CLUE how rough you are really being..
They really don’t. And why is it that I can wrestle and tickle Kainoa for hours and have fun and never hear him cry…but Pat does it for MAYBE 30 minutes and Kainoa comes crying? Every.Time.
Dude, kids make up imaginary friends. I’m sure if you stick them in an empty room they’ll think of something to entertain themselves with. I think it’s a good way to get kids thinking creatively.
No I’m just kidding. I’d never do that to a kid. Parents don’t need to play with kids. That’s what siblings are for. I don’t recall my mom ever playing with me. I do remember getting yelled at for not memorizing the days of the week. And times spent running away from mom while she was holding her disciplining yard stick. That’s not considered playing, right?
It’s the PARENTS of only children who get screwed. My “only” son got plen-ty of playing time with me – a single mom. Who had no excuses besides “I’m tired.” So I did it. Even though I didn’t want to. And I thought about how nice it would be if he had siblings. Then I remembered I was a single mom. Another kid was NOT what I needed. So I wondered which would be better. And I got on the floor and played!
You’re spot on! Parents of only children have no idea what they’re missing out on. The only reason I gave birth to Laina was to provide Maile with a live in playmate. And it worked. They’re best friends.
The bickering and screaming and chasing and hair pulling is just a small price to pay.
And if you’re really lucky – like my mom – you get two girls like my sister and I who never, even bickered. Our personalities were perfect together: I told her what to do, and she did it. We’re still best friends :)
Oh dear, I need more coffee, I was really confused, first I was thinking ‘Kat’s hair looks really different in a pony tail, then why is Kat talking to herslef, then I realised it’s your sister – boy do you guys look alike!
Anyway, love this – I’m interested to know how many people do actually play with their kids. When I worked in the nursery we were always told that we had to play and interact with the kids for a certain percentage of the time, rather than just set up activities for then, then there was another portion for them playing in groups then a third part when they should be playing by themselves – I though it was kind of weird the way play was so regimented.
I remember my Dad would sometimes get like that with us, then we would go crying to my Mum, ‘Dad hurt my arm’ etc. Maybe she was just like you afterwards!
That’s awesome Jade…and a great idea, I DO have conversations with myself and I should totally post those! I’m flattered you think I look like my pretty sister. :)
I don’t know if I “play” with Georgia all that often, but we do puzzles and color in her coloring books for at least some of the time every day. We also spend a lot of the day doing errands together. It’s quality time, even if it’s not getting down on the floor and playing with her. I think it’s enough, but who knows?
that’s hilarious – you made me chuckle! I don’t spend 4 hours a day or have I ever spent 4 hours just “playing” – I will set up a craft project, coloring , play doh – whatever she wants. Now, that its summer if its nice out we will hit the park , pool or whatever. My daughter is really good about entertaining herself so I get off easy I guess. I would rather read her a books then set up 4 hours of play! Thanks for the Monday laugh – I needed it today! ;)
I am queen of doing fun stuff together! I just don’t interactively become a part of their games…unless I’m chasing them around the house or something…but that’s MY game.
this is so funny…I can’t stop laughing. And the answer is no. We don’t get on the floor with our kids but we are good at coming up with suggestions for play. Mine usually involve going into the basement and……
yeah, i play board games and with trains and cars with my son, but i don’t make a habit out of it. it’s a “special” occasion, like, when Oprah or Ellen is a rerun or something. toodles!
I love these conversations you have with Baby. My grandmother used to say, “if I play with you then you won’t know when I’m being serious.” I see a lot of value in that statement. I do stuff for the kids and I pretend with them. Just yesterday Baby Girl was making me “soup” and “cake” that I would then pretend to eat all while I was cleaning the kitchen. Does that count as playing? I hope so because I do stuff like that all the time.
How funny is it that when we’re kids, we cherished our play time. I remember playing with my Barbies all the time. But the thought of playing Barbies and carrying on pretend conversations just sends shivers down my spine. Now – ask me to color, do puzzles, do crafts, go to the park and swing on the swings, bake cookies, blow bubbles, dance around the living room, etc. – then I’m your mom!
Jennifer, I feel the same way! When Kaya asks me to play dolls with her, I cringe inside. I used to love doing that stuff, but I hate to now. Am I awful? I don’t mind playing baby stuff, but big girl stuff is not so fun for me.
ditto..but then again i hated playing with barbies/dolls when i was a kid too. my cousins and sister would be playing with barbies and 3 of the gigantic suitcases of clothes & boxes of barbie toys….and id be hiding somewhere reading a book..or doing a puzzle book….
Even since I met you, I have taken up your philosophy of not playing with my kids. And I must say, it works out really, really well. I know have more time to blog and shop online and my kids are totally in love with the TV.
I kinda do…I mean, we hang out all the time & I even sit up in his room with him periodically while he shows me how he builds his tracks, etc. I don’t think he actually wants me to do much, I think he just likes having me there. If grocery shopping & running errands counts? I’m supermom.
I don’t do all that much actual playing either…. mostly setting up the situation and showing how and then letting it take its course. I do play “roll the ball” and little people, though, b/c it’s fun and my 1yo (yes he’s 1!!) loves it, but w/most things he’s like “get out of my way, woman”. So we parallel play (just like the magazines say!)… I play internet and he plays trucks.
this is along the lines of what i do….with my 4yo & 18mo…mostly they just torture each other though LOL & i interrupt to tell them to stop, mommy cant hear her music :P
I am a working mom, and I generally DO NOT play with my daughter. And it makes me sad. And then there are times when I see her playing and I’m all, “Oh, perfect opportunity to PLAY with her and not just be the mean mom who makes her eat and drink and take baths and go to sleep.” And then I think about how tired I am and just keep watching her play. Needless to say, she “loves” daddy and grandma and my brother-in-law’s girlfriend more than me:) They love to play with her! We’ll see how it goes when baby #2 comes along…
I am a working mom of two and I try to play with my kids as much as possible…but its not always possible. My 4 year old can obviously play by herself…but often she wants my husband or I to play barbies with her…while I love her and I used to love barbies…not so much now.:)
My one year old doesn’t play alone that much…so I try to focus my attention on him or try to get my 4 year old to play with us too.
See, I’ve been banned from playing with my kids. My 5 year old literally told me, “Mom, you don’t play right. Can I just play by myself?” Well, fine! Now, if they invite me? Fine. But five minutes into it they don’t need me anymore. LOL! Now I’m just the cashier at their pretend grocery store or some other insignificant part in a game of pretend that neither the 5 year old or 2 year old wants to be. She played movie star one day and I was the director. Except the only thing I was supposed to do? “Mom, just sit there and watch. And say ‘fabulous!’ a lot.”
I’m all for roughhousing. Thinks it shows the kids who’s stronger. Ha, ha, ha! And, I try to play a bit with my boy in an engaged manner once a day but I seriously don’t think it even needs to be that long.
I can’t stand playing little kid games. There have been times when I wish I could wrestle them. But not in a playful way. :-) Board games are the worst because I always have to lose to make them feel good, and I Hate Losing. I play Wii with my 11-yr. old son, draw with my 8-yr. old daughter, and read books with my 3-yr. old. That is just going to have to count as “play-time”.
Great post! I play with my daughter a lot I have to confess, she does not want to play on her own and as an only child still at three regards me as her live in play mate and thinks that is what my main role in life is! But even so, it is by no means all day every day as I would go crazy and nothing would ever get done.
My mother never played with us as kids – but then in those days most Moms didn’t – we were expected to go out and join all the other kids in the street and play all day. I wish that were still the case, not all the time as we did but at least that children today could go out and explore and learn about the world that way. Sadly it is no longer so.
Oh my word, that is hilarious!
I love it. :)
And yeah–it’s true. How much did my mom get down on the floor and play with us?
Hardly ever…but she did teach us quite a few things (cooking NOT being among those few things) and we love her. Hehe.
I have felt horribly guilty for months that I don’t really enjoy getting on the floor and playing with my daughter. I like to sing with her, read to her, do crafty things (to the degree that she can at 22 months) and go on outings with her, but I really don’t like playing. I thought I was a horrible mother and altogether subpar human being— until I realized that I didn’t even like playing WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY A KID. I liked to (guess what) sing, read, do crafty things and go on outings….
But still– Ah, the mom guilt. It never ends.
I remember my dad playing with me on weekends a lot growing up. My mom played with me a little bit every day, but I’m not sure if it went above 4 hours a week.
OH! I thought I was a lazy parent- I mean, a parent teaching my kids to be self-sufficient at entertaining themselves. When they were babies, I’d love and hug them, and make sure they had enough stuff to keep them active (and safe). As they got older, my form of play was to set up art for us to do, or to play a game I actually enjoyed (Mario Party!). Now, as they are teenagers, we watch movies together and play board games- But I still will never ever be the parent who suddenly changes her own behaviors to entertain my kids ( I hate throwing balls, I hate sports, I hate wrestling, etc…It’s just not me)
I’m thirty-ten years old and my mom has just recently starting playing with me. Now, we play cards and the men-folk play too…but we are “playing” together, right? We also drink adult beverages…maybe that was the missing element all those years ago? Hmmm….
I completely, totally, whole-heartedly agree: I am their MOTHER I am not their friend.
I will occasionally play with them, or set them up to do projects, but they have each other, friends, and their imagination. I take an interest in what they build, and I’m present for their play. It is not my job to provide entertainment for them 100% of the time. They need to learn how to entertain themselves, problem-solve by themselves, and build their own imaginations.
I used to play with my Little One a lot more until he became insufferably bossy and won’t let anyone else decide their dialogue or if the aliens are under the couch or on top of it. Plus after my light saber fighting injury, I opted out of that little game. But the game where he is a cat and I get to sit and read and pat him on the head occasionally … that game I like!
I dont remember my mother playing with us as children..then again, I dont remember a lot of my childhood..that whole blocking out the bad stuff kinda thing LOL the most “play” that I remember was my mother teasing me telling me i could play the nintendo (just plain nintendo–while everyone else had super nintendo..or ninendo64 lol) as soon as she lost a round of Dr Mario…which she never did. Oh oh we did play waitress..i got to go get her a drink, food, etc. I learned how to mix drinks at an early age too…the blender was my friend!! in reality it probably wasnt that bad…and I was probably already in my teens for most of that LOL BUT…i dont remember her playing with my baby sister either..she does play with my niece and nephew though..so thats a good thing…right??
I play with my kids a lot though…I play referee, I play chef (you know..where i cook dinner), i play waitress (where i deliver their food and drinks to them at their table), i play busboy (where i clean the food off the floor and all surrounding areas), i play dr (when one hurts themselves), i play the punisher (ya know, that whole discipline thing), i –back had to go play referee again– where was i?? oh yeah..i play MOMMY! in reality, i do play with my kids, and it sure SEEMS like more than 4 hours a week…but is it really? i have no idea. i dont time it. i spend time with them doing lots of things other than PLAYING. though i do consider coloring, drawing, etc playing…
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Haha that’s hilarious! But its true, I honestly believe that most parents don’t really get on the floor and play with their children. I’m not a mom, just a nanny, and I too am guilty of setting kids up with things to do and not getting down and playing with them!
Thanks for the reminder :-)
They’re gonna get in their first fight someday, and immediately throw the other kid to the ground and get them in the vice grip!
My kids are so involved in their games and with their friends…I mean really!
Do we have to play with them? And is setting up an elaborate train track system for Kainoa or making homemade playdough together considered playing??
Because I do that kind of stuff all the time!
I guess that makes me a hero.
That was so cute! Gave me a chuckle!
Roflmbo @ physically attacking daddy for hurting thekids. I soooo do that and I have 3 boys. Even now I am like for the love of God Gene you pack 300 pound cabinets every day you have no CLUE how rough you are really being..
They really don’t. And why is it that I can wrestle and tickle Kainoa for hours and have fun and never hear him cry…but Pat does it for MAYBE 30 minutes and Kainoa comes crying? Every.Time.
That is so funny, I have to hound my hubby for this everyday…lol
Dude, kids make up imaginary friends. I’m sure if you stick them in an empty room they’ll think of something to entertain themselves with. I think it’s a good way to get kids thinking creatively.
No I’m just kidding. I’d never do that to a kid. Parents don’t need to play with kids. That’s what siblings are for. I don’t recall my mom ever playing with me. I do remember getting yelled at for not memorizing the days of the week. And times spent running away from mom while she was holding her disciplining yard stick. That’s not considered playing, right?
See, it’s the “only” children that really get screwed in life.
It’s the PARENTS of only children who get screwed. My “only” son got plen-ty of playing time with me – a single mom. Who had no excuses besides “I’m tired.” So I did it. Even though I didn’t want to. And I thought about how nice it would be if he had siblings. Then I remembered I was a single mom. Another kid was NOT what I needed. So I wondered which would be better. And I got on the floor and played!
You’re spot on! Parents of only children have no idea what they’re missing out on. The only reason I gave birth to Laina was to provide Maile with a live in playmate. And it worked. They’re best friends.
The bickering and screaming and chasing and hair pulling is just a small price to pay.
And if you’re really lucky – like my mom – you get two girls like my sister and I who never, even bickered. Our personalities were perfect together: I told her what to do, and she did it. We’re still best friends :)
Great, just one more thing to guilt myself about… my children are going to grow up so dysfunctional. :-)
Don’t panic, if no parent ‘plays’ with their children then ALL children get to grow up dysfunctional – evens the playing field right out!
Can we get a video of you beating the crap out of Pat now? I think that would be REALLY entertaining.
Oh dear, I need more coffee, I was really confused, first I was thinking ‘Kat’s hair looks really different in a pony tail, then why is Kat talking to herslef, then I realised it’s your sister – boy do you guys look alike!
Anyway, love this – I’m interested to know how many people do actually play with their kids. When I worked in the nursery we were always told that we had to play and interact with the kids for a certain percentage of the time, rather than just set up activities for then, then there was another portion for them playing in groups then a third part when they should be playing by themselves – I though it was kind of weird the way play was so regimented.
I remember my Dad would sometimes get like that with us, then we would go crying to my Mum, ‘Dad hurt my arm’ etc. Maybe she was just like you afterwards!
Have a lovely day,
Jade
That’s awesome Jade…and a great idea, I DO have conversations with myself and I should totally post those! I’m flattered you think I look like my pretty sister. :)
My mom used to play catch with me when I was a toddler, then as I got older she played board games and card games with us.
Ugh. Playing board games with children is on my list of “never again”.
I don’t know if I “play” with Georgia all that often, but we do puzzles and color in her coloring books for at least some of the time every day. We also spend a lot of the day doing errands together. It’s quality time, even if it’s not getting down on the floor and playing with her. I think it’s enough, but who knows?
Ahhh…great point! Quality time does not have to mean we’re crawling around like kitties with our children!
that’s hilarious – you made me chuckle! I don’t spend 4 hours a day or have I ever spent 4 hours just “playing” – I will set up a craft project, coloring , play doh – whatever she wants. Now, that its summer if its nice out we will hit the park , pool or whatever. My daughter is really good about entertaining herself so I get off easy I guess. I would rather read her a books then set up 4 hours of play! Thanks for the Monday laugh – I needed it today! ;)
I am queen of doing fun stuff together! I just don’t interactively become a part of their games…unless I’m chasing them around the house or something…but that’s MY game.
this is so funny…I can’t stop laughing. And the answer is no. We don’t get on the floor with our kids but we are good at coming up with suggestions for play. Mine usually involve going into the basement and……
We totally need a basement!
yeah, i play board games and with trains and cars with my son, but i don’t make a habit out of it. it’s a “special” occasion, like, when Oprah or Ellen is a rerun or something. toodles!
Ha! If you’re REALLY good, mommy’s gonna pay attention to you okay sweetie??
I love these conversations you have with Baby. My grandmother used to say, “if I play with you then you won’t know when I’m being serious.” I see a lot of value in that statement. I do stuff for the kids and I pretend with them. Just yesterday Baby Girl was making me “soup” and “cake” that I would then pretend to eat all while I was cleaning the kitchen. Does that count as playing? I hope so because I do stuff like that all the time.
How funny is it that when we’re kids, we cherished our play time. I remember playing with my Barbies all the time. But the thought of playing Barbies and carrying on pretend conversations just sends shivers down my spine. Now – ask me to color, do puzzles, do crafts, go to the park and swing on the swings, bake cookies, blow bubbles, dance around the living room, etc. – then I’m your mom!
Jennifer, I feel the same way! When Kaya asks me to play dolls with her, I cringe inside. I used to love doing that stuff, but I hate to now. Am I awful? I don’t mind playing baby stuff, but big girl stuff is not so fun for me.
ditto..but then again i hated playing with barbies/dolls when i was a kid too. my cousins and sister would be playing with barbies and 3 of the gigantic suitcases of clothes & boxes of barbie toys….and id be hiding somewhere reading a book..or doing a puzzle book….
I totes yell at the hubs for wrestlin’ with the dude. He’s just a little baby, ok 2 year old, after all. My complaints don’t stop either of them. HA!
I used to play a lot more when it was just 1, but I now have 3 and it’s like they gang up on me. I’ve had enough after about 5 minutes.
Even since I met you, I have taken up your philosophy of not playing with my kids. And I must say, it works out really, really well. I know have more time to blog and shop online and my kids are totally in love with the TV.
I kinda do…I mean, we hang out all the time & I even sit up in his room with him periodically while he shows me how he builds his tracks, etc. I don’t think he actually wants me to do much, I think he just likes having me there. If grocery shopping & running errands counts? I’m supermom.
I don’t do all that much actual playing either…. mostly setting up the situation and showing how and then letting it take its course. I do play “roll the ball” and little people, though, b/c it’s fun and my 1yo (yes he’s 1!!) loves it, but w/most things he’s like “get out of my way, woman”. So we parallel play (just like the magazines say!)… I play internet and he plays trucks.
this is along the lines of what i do….with my 4yo & 18mo…mostly they just torture each other though LOL & i interrupt to tell them to stop, mommy cant hear her music :P
I am a working mom, and I generally DO NOT play with my daughter. And it makes me sad. And then there are times when I see her playing and I’m all, “Oh, perfect opportunity to PLAY with her and not just be the mean mom who makes her eat and drink and take baths and go to sleep.” And then I think about how tired I am and just keep watching her play. Needless to say, she “loves” daddy and grandma and my brother-in-law’s girlfriend more than me:) They love to play with her! We’ll see how it goes when baby #2 comes along…
I am a working mom of two and I try to play with my kids as much as possible…but its not always possible. My 4 year old can obviously play by herself…but often she wants my husband or I to play barbies with her…while I love her and I used to love barbies…not so much now.:)
My one year old doesn’t play alone that much…so I try to focus my attention on him or try to get my 4 year old to play with us too.
Does sitting on the floor, getting my hair pulled and having things thrown at me count as playing? Because I do that pretty much every day.
4 hours a week? That sounds like a LOT!!!
What? I’m supposed to play with them?
See, I’ve been banned from playing with my kids. My 5 year old literally told me, “Mom, you don’t play right. Can I just play by myself?” Well, fine! Now, if they invite me? Fine. But five minutes into it they don’t need me anymore. LOL! Now I’m just the cashier at their pretend grocery store or some other insignificant part in a game of pretend that neither the 5 year old or 2 year old wants to be. She played movie star one day and I was the director. Except the only thing I was supposed to do? “Mom, just sit there and watch. And say ‘fabulous!’ a lot.”
I’m all for roughhousing. Thinks it shows the kids who’s stronger. Ha, ha, ha! And, I try to play a bit with my boy in an engaged manner once a day but I seriously don’t think it even needs to be that long.
I can’t stand playing little kid games. There have been times when I wish I could wrestle them. But not in a playful way. :-) Board games are the worst because I always have to lose to make them feel good, and I Hate Losing. I play Wii with my 11-yr. old son, draw with my 8-yr. old daughter, and read books with my 3-yr. old. That is just going to have to count as “play-time”.
Great post! I play with my daughter a lot I have to confess, she does not want to play on her own and as an only child still at three regards me as her live in play mate and thinks that is what my main role in life is! But even so, it is by no means all day every day as I would go crazy and nothing would ever get done.
My mother never played with us as kids – but then in those days most Moms didn’t – we were expected to go out and join all the other kids in the street and play all day. I wish that were still the case, not all the time as we did but at least that children today could go out and explore and learn about the world that way. Sadly it is no longer so.
The older they get the less you play with them. Plus when there are siblings, the less you are needed for play. You are more the referee. Haha.
Oh my word, that is hilarious!
I love it. :)
And yeah–it’s true. How much did my mom get down on the floor and play with us?
Hardly ever…but she did teach us quite a few things (cooking NOT being among those few things) and we love her. Hehe.
I have felt horribly guilty for months that I don’t really enjoy getting on the floor and playing with my daughter. I like to sing with her, read to her, do crafty things (to the degree that she can at 22 months) and go on outings with her, but I really don’t like playing. I thought I was a horrible mother and altogether subpar human being— until I realized that I didn’t even like playing WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY A KID. I liked to (guess what) sing, read, do crafty things and go on outings….
But still– Ah, the mom guilt. It never ends.
If I had a dime for everytime I heard myself say “this is gonna end badly…”
This is why I don’t play with my children.
no one plays with their kids. if they say they do, they’re lying. unless they are parenting an only-child. then they play with their kid ALL the time.
Sadly I totally believe this.. But really that is why you have more than one right?
I build things, and Alexa knocks them down. Does that count? I’ll totally have a tea party if she’s ever inclined!
I remember my dad playing with me on weekends a lot growing up. My mom played with me a little bit every day, but I’m not sure if it went above 4 hours a week.
I have to tell you…. I’m pretty sure my Mom never really played with me, if at all when I was a kid.
OH! I thought I was a lazy parent- I mean, a parent teaching my kids to be self-sufficient at entertaining themselves. When they were babies, I’d love and hug them, and make sure they had enough stuff to keep them active (and safe). As they got older, my form of play was to set up art for us to do, or to play a game I actually enjoyed (Mario Party!). Now, as they are teenagers, we watch movies together and play board games- But I still will never ever be the parent who suddenly changes her own behaviors to entertain my kids ( I hate throwing balls, I hate sports, I hate wrestling, etc…It’s just not me)
I’m thirty-ten years old and my mom has just recently starting playing with me. Now, we play cards and the men-folk play too…but we are “playing” together, right? We also drink adult beverages…maybe that was the missing element all those years ago? Hmmm….
thirty-ten…how hilarious! I’ve never heard that :)
Being a teacher, I sincerely doubt MOST mothers PLAY WITH their kids….
Cracking up!
I completely, totally, whole-heartedly agree: I am their MOTHER I am not their friend.
I will occasionally play with them, or set them up to do projects, but they have each other, friends, and their imagination. I take an interest in what they build, and I’m present for their play. It is not my job to provide entertainment for them 100% of the time. They need to learn how to entertain themselves, problem-solve by themselves, and build their own imaginations.
I used to play with my Little One a lot more until he became insufferably bossy and won’t let anyone else decide their dialogue or if the aliens are under the couch or on top of it. Plus after my light saber fighting injury, I opted out of that little game. But the game where he is a cat and I get to sit and read and pat him on the head occasionally … that game I like!
That is very true. Mama’s are busy people, we don’t have time to play with our kids. That’s the Dad’s job. haha.
I dont remember my mother playing with us as children..then again, I dont remember a lot of my childhood..that whole blocking out the bad stuff kinda thing LOL the most “play” that I remember was my mother teasing me telling me i could play the nintendo (just plain nintendo–while everyone else had super nintendo..or ninendo64 lol) as soon as she lost a round of Dr Mario…which she never did. Oh oh we did play waitress..i got to go get her a drink, food, etc. I learned how to mix drinks at an early age too…the blender was my friend!! in reality it probably wasnt that bad…and I was probably already in my teens for most of that LOL BUT…i dont remember her playing with my baby sister either..she does play with my niece and nephew though..so thats a good thing…right??
I play with my kids a lot though…I play referee, I play chef (you know..where i cook dinner), i play waitress (where i deliver their food and drinks to them at their table), i play busboy (where i clean the food off the floor and all surrounding areas), i play dr (when one hurts themselves), i play the punisher (ya know, that whole discipline thing), i –back had to go play referee again– where was i?? oh yeah..i play MOMMY! in reality, i do play with my kids, and it sure SEEMS like more than 4 hours a week…but is it really? i have no idea. i dont time it. i spend time with them doing lots of things other than PLAYING. though i do consider coloring, drawing, etc playing…