I’d like to nominate myself team captain of the folks who are not traveling to New York this weekend for BlogHer.
I get that New York is super exciting, what with all the tall buildings and the lights and the Lady of Liberty and what not…and I think the private parties and the drinking and the canoodling you’ll be doing is super fantastic. Really I do. Please do not mistake this as a jealous rant…because I’m so. not. jealous!!!
Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I’m too awesome for BlogHer?
Because it should.
Because I am.
And that’s not me just saying that to try to make myself feel better about the fact that for third year in a row I’m going to be up late on a Saturday night of BlogHer weekend with a computer in my lap while I read about all the excitement and fun happening a world away. That’s not why I’m saying that. I actually like feeling lonely. And Isolated. And afraid.
It’s not your fault. Do not think twice about what your tweets are doing to me…I’LL BE FINE!
And you know what?
When you’re limping back to your hotel room in heels you haven’t worn in years, after hours socializing with people you may or may not wish had stayed inside your computer…and after you crawl into your micro-bug infested hotel bed far far away from home…please don’t feel jealous when you find me tweeting about how wonderful life feels snuggled up to my warm babies, in my cozy house, with my glass of wine, and my doting husband.
YOU’LL BE FINE!
{ 89 comments… read them below or add one }
WHAT?! you’re not going to blogher? that’s it, i want a refund. if it makes you feel any better, i will not be drinking even a little bit of alcohol while i’m there. mormons are sooo boring.
please tell me you will be at bloggy boot camp in st. george.
I’m so awesome the folks at Blogher asked me NOT to come. They were afraid I would outshine them all. And do you know what?? They were RIGHT!
I am jealous. Bigtime. I WILL be going next year.
I’m with you, though I’ll have my French bulldog Bubba snuggling with me (truly he hogs the bed)
;)
Ok, I don’t feel so bad now… because I’m not going to BlogHer either. I really, really, really, really, really, really, wish I could go, but it just wasn’t meant to be for me this year. But I was starting to feel like I was the only mom blogger who wasn’t going…
I had to click over when I saw your tweet “Blogher can suck it!” That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout! I actually do NOT feel jealous. Truly I don’t, but that may be because I am just ignorant about it. There is no way I could approach my husband and say, “Sweetie (BTW, we call each other no such names), can I spend LOTS of money on a plane ticket, BlogHer tickets and a hotel so that i can go to NYC for the weekend by myself to learn how to be a better blogger?” He’d so fall out of his chair from laughing so hard. NEXT year when I am absolutely ROLLING in revenue from my blog, he might take my question seriously. First I have to ask it…if I felt like it.
Okay I’m jealous! I so want to go, just once…but alas, I am not going….but I am thinking that glass of wine sounds pretty good!
Great post…twitter is exploding but I too fall into the camp to be quite happy to be home. I am enjoying my little space in internet world for now.
It’s like my sophomore year in high school, when my friends and I had a prom pity-party. Lest you think we were losers, we weren’t allowed to date until we were 16. (See Alexis’ comment above about how Mormons are boring.) Obviously we would’ve had dates otherwise.
I’m sure if I had enough money to go to BlogHer, of COURSE I’d be invited to all the fancy parties! I mean, duh! Why wouldn’t I be? Stupid poverty, always holding me back.
Besides, it’s much more fun to stay at home and see who wins the fight for the prime real estate in my kitchen. Right now the fruit flies are in the lead, but the mice are crafty and could make a comeback!
Hold me.
I too am so not jealous. I will also be cuddling with my husband and snuggling babies while wishing I was in New York…ummmm…no….no New York wishing here…I didn’t say that…
I am so sad you aren’t going because I would have loved meeting you. Hopefully someday somewhere else.
But I am totally aching about leaving my girls and Scott for a weekend of blogging fun. But, like Alexis I won’t be drinking either. :)
I’ve been to four blogher conferences now. I’m still recovering from last year’s conference.
I’m happy to be home, saving my money and sleeping in my non-bug infested bed.
I.LOVE.THIS.POST. The humor had me giggling!! Thanks! :o)
I say YOU host a twitter party on Saturday night, we all bring our wine, stay home, wear jammies and tell them all to SUCK IT!
after photographing the whole event last year. I think I’m staying as far away as possible. :P
Exactly what I was thinking!!!
And I second Krista’s idea on the Saturday night Twitter party with wine! I’m there!!
What’s this BlogHer of which you speak?
Do you know what would get these bloggers even more attention than the conference?
Some post about NOT having a conference, and instead, donating all the money they’d spend attending to buy laptops for the children of the unemployed…like my kid, for instance.
Just think about the MONEY that has been doled out for this weekend…we’re in a recession, people!
Why can’t BlogHer or SITS, or whomever, have just the presenters appear at a conference, and make people PAY to watch it online?
Then nobody but those presenters needs a new hairdo and wardrobe, and everyone else can scarf down brownies and sit in their jammies (and make fun of the presenters on the monitor).
You’re so funny! I’m so not jealous either. I get the pleasure of serving cocktails to barflys. Way. Cooler. Than. Blogher.
Just sayin’…
Blogger is this weekend? Who knew? :)
I won’t be sitting home feeling jealous either.
I second that nomination. I like it. I think I shall call myself too awesome for BlogHer as well!
You all are 1 000 000 miles closer to going to a Blogher event than I ever will be – I’m stuck in Australia! But the wine still sounds mighty fine!
I have no idea what you guys are all talking about. Being in Malaysia, I practically missed out on / unaware of a lot of stuff you guys have over at your countries. So, no loss to me… :)
Nope … not jealous one bit!
BlogWHO? ;)
I’d just have to dress up in wigs and stuff all weekend anyway, since I’m an anonymous blogger…. Wait, that COULD make for a fun weekend here at HOME…….
So, are you in the market for a co-captain? I know you like to fly solo or whatever so you can look more awesome and stuff, but seriously I have like physically turned green and a feat like that deserves recognition. I am officially signing off of Twitter for the next 5 days because I swear, if I have to watch the BlogHer drama unfold on Twitter another year I will probably puke. I’m all for puking when it’s because I am stumbling drunk through Manhattan, but since I won’t be, then I hate puking. Completely. I guess I can just spend the week DM-ing you and Angie and Fran some BlogHer related hate Tweets. You’d like that wouldn’t you? Of course then, I’d probably accidentally Tweet one publicly and people would hate me for real so, never mind. I’ll just sit and stew. Alone. Like always.
I second Kelley. My husband would send me to get my head examined if I asked to go to Blogher. Then again, I’m a tiny lil fish in this pond, so I’d laugh at me too.
I’ve no interest in BlogHer and I refuse to wear heels. Librarians are too practical for that. You are my hero, Mama Kat.
I love the bitterness that is in this post…absolutely love it! I’ll be on your team any day!
I’m so out of the loop I didnt even know BlogHer was THIS weekend.
So you have that, and by ‘THAT’ I mean the knowledge that you’re not as dense as I am. Congratulations.
God it feels good to be back…
Totally joining this fan club, People too Awesome to be a BlogHer!
Oh, how I love this post. My sentiments exactly.
oh…and I heard that NYC has a bed bug infestation. My bed? Does not have bed bugs.
I’m right there with you…Not bitter or jealous AT ALL. So there!
Yeah, really don’t get all of the fuss. And add me to the “husband would fall off his chair laughing at me” group. I love NYC, don’t get me wrong, but if I’m going, I’m going to do things I want to do, not sit through a conference with a bunch of people I don’t know! And I don’t wear heels, either!
I am not going either, a friend of mine is hosting a soNOT BLOG HER twitter party and I can’t go to it either. Instead I will be pining away on a beach in Virginia moing my sister back here.. Ok well she will be leaving on Saturday and I will remain behind till Sunday.. I am seriously not interestedin a conference.. BUT I have said I will have a it’s not a conference it a dang bonfire/campout on my hill anytime ya’ll want..
Blogher? Eh, who needs it?
I’ve opted to work instead. Yeah, cause working is WAY more fun that some silly Blog conference in New York. Yep. Totally.
–>I think it’s safe to say that I will never attend a BlogHer conference and that’s just because if I’m going on a trip, I don’t want to go alone. Now if someone paid, I’d be there in a heartbeat. There are about a dozen people I’d like to meet in person but since it’s not likely to happen, I can still like them online, in email, on twitter, etc.
I am with you lady! and @kelley I totally feel you, about trying to explain to my husband why I need to spend all that money, to go to a blog conference, he would have a cow. I mean I almost would boycott it, what are the organizers thinking, having it in the most expensive place on the planet! My friend just came back from NYC and told me a glass of wine cost her $16. I grew up 15 minutes away from NY and if I was still there maybe I would have gone.
I love that some of the people that live in my computer that I love the most are not going to be there. It makes me not mind so much that I won’t be there.
Me, me, me, me, pick ME! I wanna be on your not jealous because we’re far too awesome team!!! Please? Dont make me kick this cat across the room…I’ll do it…maybe, idk we shall see
PS-this fuc*in kidney stone is going to kill me. Why the hell is an epidural NOT an option!?
Psssss–maybe a bit high on the vicodin :)
You’ve got my vote. Your description is truth on wheels – their feet will hurt, and they’ll realize that most bloggers are sharper with written words than spoken ones, so they’ll drink (what’s wrong with that?) but be hurtin’ in the morn. So often what we imagine will be awesome, isn’t.
For the main character in the story I’m posting at http://www.afacebookstory-oneclickaway.blogspot.com, hubby, marriage, kids and cocktails seemed all that, but she can’t help thinking “What if I had married him?” (You know who your “him” is, we all have one!). We only get to dream but she isn’t real so she gets to carry it all out. I hope you will sit with your laptop on Saturday night and take a peek at her life too. It’ll sound all too familiar and dangerously alluring. Cheers.
Elizabeth
Haha! Loved what Holly B said…. gotta go meet her.
Oooh I want to be on your DECIDEDLY NOT JEALOUS team.
Can I be Secretary?
Yep, I am too awesome for BlogHer, too. I think we should have a virtual party for all the cool people. I’d be thrilled to be a part of your team, haha!!
yeah, I’m not going to Blogher either…
There just isn’t enough $$$ to go around…
I’m with you, I’ll stay home and tweet with everybody WHO is NOT there at Blogher…My feet won’t hurt at all….
:)
Someday I might go.
But until then, I’m not going.
:)
We should set up a SeattleHer. Then they will be jealous of us. Because why would you want glitz and glamour and companies and lots of peeps when you could have a waterfront bar and flip flops? Seriously.
I’m very new to all of this, but seriously Kat, if you had some sort of “Mama Get Your Blog On Conference”, or some sort of other Seminar, Retreat or Whatever , you would have a million of us attending!
YOU ARe SO totally AWESOME, they didn’t want the poodle stealing all the attention!!!
Have a fantabulous day!!!!
Philly is the better city anyway!
See you on September 11th! ;)
not going and don’t want to see all those tweets–oh wait vacation with my family reunion/disney –don’t need all that added stress in my life.
If you guys get bored, we are also not going to blogher over at blogherathome.com:)
But we’re ignoring our spouses anyway in favor of drinks, prizes and web cams. :)
Jenny,
my money’s on the mice.
Anyone else want in on this bet???
Yeah…. Right WITH ya’ Sista’!! *sigh*
You forgot to mention that in NYC nobody even notices when you pee in an alley. It’s going to be awesome.
I’m so glad that I’m not the only one totally. Not. Jealous.
So are you hosting a non-BlobHer twitter party? ‘Cause I’m so there if you are.
I can honestly say that I’m okay with not going to Blogher…this year anyway.
My sentiments EXACTLY :)
I think I can definitely do without the bedbugs.
Plus, I’ll always have Bootcamp, which is sooooo much cooler!
not going to BlogHer…
BUT I do happen to know there’s a #notgoingtoblogher twitter party happening on Friday… to console all of us lame butts :)
P.S. – my new converse shoes arrived in the mail yesterday – thanks SO much for hosting that giveaway!!!!
Mama Kat! I have read through some of your posts, you are hilarious! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and love for Ellen!
Please be sure to follow Simply Unique Events on FB.
Jennifer
You mean you’re NOT going? I was sure I must be the only blogger on planet earth not attending :-) I shall spend Saturday night out on the deck with a glass of wine and my husband instead too :-)
I like what T said…and I think you could rally the troops to have a grand ol’ #notgoingtoblogher twitter party!
I hear ya! Maybe if we all make it next year we can have a Newbie Blogher after-party!
Yeah! I’m not going either. But I’m not awesome.
I’ll be hanging out right there with you with the laptop in my lap, glass of wine to my right, doting husband to the left. I mean, whatever. I way rather go to Bloggy Boot Camp in San Fran at the end of the month. Oh wait! I AM! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!
I’m with you, sister. I feel like the only kid in high school missing out on prom. Instead, I’ll stay at home and eat ice cream.
I’m so not jealous either…at all…who would want to be in New York after all? I prefer to live my uneventful boring life here in Texas…
I laughed out loud at “micro-bug infested hotel bed”. You’ve made me feel so much better about missing out on BlogHer. I’m going up to change my sheets now for a bug free sleep.
That’s right Blog-her! I never heard of them anyway (*Uh-hmm*). Besides guess who lives 20 minutes from St. George Utah, for the Sitstah’s Boot Camp?! That’s right! I do! Who needs Lady Liberty anyway!!
HEAR, HEAR!! Merlot will be my choice…
What’s blog-her??? Ha Ha Ha, totally NOT jealous!
I will be joining you…not at your comfy digs, but at mine. Pinot Noir. From Oregon. Expensive, but less so than New York.
:)
You are hilarious! Yeah, I’m not at all jealous either. ;o)
Screw BlogHer. It’s my birthday weekend. I’ll be drunk with my friends…and I may or may not get my first tattoo.
My life is awwwwwesommmmmme!
“socializing with people you may or may not wish had stayed inside your computer”
OMG yes yes yes! I’m going, and even I think this :-)
Here’s to hoping I’m wrong.
I went last year. And it sucked. Olympic levels of ass-kissing bookended by spring break binge drinking. AND? i didn’t learn a damn thing.
Waste of time ladies. WASTE OF TIME.
I read in Newsweek (July 26th) that there are 141 million active blogs. There are ~2,000 BlogHer attendees. You’re not missing a thing and NYC will always be here. But that’s easy for me to say since I live here AND I’m going! Nanny nanny poo poo ;) Seriously though, I think your last paragraph says it all.
I’m with everybody else and think you should so do a notgoingtoblogher Twitter party!
And I thing I’m too awesom for Blog Her too. (Not really though…I’m pretty jealous…maybe when I get “big” I’ll be able to go) ;)
I seriously have NO desire to go to BLOGHER! None at all. I don’t get what all the fuss is about. SO overatted.
The sums up how I’m feeling about the whole NYC event too. Who me, jealous? Nahhhhhhh…I’d MUCH rather spend the weekend at the Cape with my ENTIRE family who will start to annoy me after 2.6 seconds!
I really love New York but I’m with you. Who needs a silly old conference when they can be snuggled in their own little bed nice and toasty warn. I mean we can have our own party with out them, right? RIGHT? ;-)
Oh man I am sitting in my hotel room crying after saying good morning to my 2 and 3 year old. I miss my family already. However, I am determined to have fun considering I had 3 babies in 3 years and have been like nowhere since bf I got pregnant with the first one! I am going in with an open heart excited to meet some peeps and PRAYING to avoid the bed bugs. Also – wish you were here. I would totallty snuggle and have a glass of wine w you ;)
I Love it! While everyone else is worried about the roach crawling over their head, we will be comfy and cozy at home!
Cheers to that sista!
I initially went to your website to rate it as a “newbie” first look, from the blog challenge on BlogFrog, but I was so intrigued from this post that I wound up reading, enjoying and laughing till I cried. Thanks for that. And I won’t be attending BlogHer either.
Best non BlogHer post eveh!
I’ll remember this as I go through Twitter, looking for the other 24 people not there. lol
I will say it sounds like a fun, wonderful, great, exciting time. But….after a week the novelty will wear off and we will all be right back at our computers the same. :) Thinking positively right now ;)
Not really sure what Blogher is actually, so I guess I’m not missing anything. There are some bloggers I would like to meet, but all in all I prefer to keep my mug behind the screen.
Perfect post! I could not agree more. BlogHER is for suckers.
I love this post! I didn’t attend Blogher’11, and it’s how I felt reading all the tweets over the weekend, and catching up on posts today—everything is about it!
I’m from NJ, and I was unbelievably excited to see that Blogher’12 is in NY next year—I will definitely be there. So does that make me “too awesome” or “not awesome at all”?
Thanks—you always make me laugh.
Hahahah! That’s me this year…I feel like everyone went to prom except me. But I got a good night’s sleep goshdangit.