Last week I wrote a letter to my husband describing my empty nest syndrome and asking him to make me another baby. Because they’re cute.
This week I thought it would be funny to have him post a response, so before he left for his baseball game I was all, “hey can you just write down a couple sentences responding to that letter I wrote you…I think it will be good for my blog tomorrow and then I don’t have to actually think of any content…a win win for me…here’s a pen.”
I turned around to finish the dishes and Pat bent over his piece of paper with his pen and started jotting down some words. And then he sighed.
pat: SIGH….Can I take this with me Kat? I’m gonna need to think about it…
me: Huh? Why? What’s there to think about? Just write a few sentences like… “I like my uninterrupted sleep. So. No.” Or something like that.
pat: It’s just…I’m trying to think of something that rhymes with this I’m not coming up with anything.
me: You’re writing a poem? Dude. Don’t make it rhyme just write a couple things. I’ll make it funny.
He bent back over his paper and started scribbling some words down and it was then that I realized I wasn’t going to be able to use his material. He was over thinking it. Putting too much pressure on himself to perform and we all know what happens when men do that now don’t we ladies??? Hawhee hawhee.
And then he handed me the paper and was all “alright here you go!” and off he went.
Leaving me alone with three kids.
And a pile of dirty dishes.
And my poem letter:
Clearly he needs his own blog.
And clearly I have my answer. No more babies.
Reasons I Love My Husband:
1.)He brings me warm bottles to give to the baby in the middle of the night when I am cussing him out in my head.
2.)He ignores my juvenile behavior and patiently waits for me to get over myself and discuss our finances like an adult.
4.)He sat at the door of the operating room, after I was rushed in following an emergency c-section, waiting for word of my condition…for six hours.
5.)He drives 45 minutes out of his way to go get me sushi on Friday night because I’m hungry and moody and tired and he wants me to be happy.
6.)He says things like, “Kat. Who are the most important people in your life? We are all here. We all love you. We’re not going anywhere. Just remember that.” and makes me feel better when things start getting to me.
7.)He takes time away from HIS job and comes home on a moments notice to help ME with MY job.
10.)He will never leave me for Kathy Lee Gifford because he thinks she’s outdated and fears for his life.
11.) He supports my shopping habit and watches the children as I single handedly delay our family’s future for a few cute tops…ok a lot of cute tops…and some shoes…maybe a clutch.
13.)He doesn’t take sides when I tell him to whack our son for an entire day of horrid behavior but instead delicately puts his hand on our baby boy’s head and turns to me to say, “My God Kat, he’s burning up!!” and then asks me to fetch the motrin.
#16 He writes me poems telling me he doesn’t want any more babies, but at least he’s being nice about it.