Dear Ellen (letter 16): Mama Kat…Or Breast Cancer Awareness?

I love Twitter…don’t you Ellen? Such a great way to stay connected throughout the day. I’m sure you get millions of tweets a day, so I certainly don’t expect you to see or even remember any of mine.


I, on the other hand, see all of yours.


I’m a little on the competitive side, so when I saw that your Twitter following was climbing I set a personal goal to beat you. I don’t like to pimp myself out and beg for followers so it’s been a slow and steady increase for me. I can sit here before my computer and proudly type that I have only 5,276,184 followers to go before I catch you up.

Speaking of catching up, I wanted to let you know that I plan on fostering a fifth rescue dog sometime in the next five years or so.

That’s right.


It’s just something I like to do. Dogs, children, homeless men…you name it! I like to rescue it. I have a really kind and loving heart like that. Say Ellen! I can’t remember the last time you had a mommy blogger on your show with a kind and loving heart who likes to foster rescue dogs!!

Just think of the amazing conversation we can have in front of all your viewers about rescuing abandoned and abused animals. I’ll gloss over that one dog that tried to eat my kids’ faces because really, it probably wasn’t his fault. When you’re hungry, you’re hungry, right?


No offense to Breast Cancer Awareness, but I see you’re having them on your show this Friday Ellen and to be honest I think everyone is pretty aware of breast cancer at this point.

We all know someone who’s been affected by it and we all want the darn disease eradicated, but Breast Cancer Awareness has it’s own walk, it’s own concerts, it’s own color, conferences, ribbons, runs, rallies, blogs, foundations, bracelets, and even kitchen items!


I’m willing to make you a deal Ellen…I will blog about Breast Cancer Awareness this Friday if you will slip me into a time slot on the show. My own mom was diagnosed with breast cancer years ago and I can’t remember the last time you had a mommy blogger on your show with a kind and loving heart who likes to foster rescue dogs and who’s mom is a breast cancer survivor…not only is that an amazing human interest piece, but it fits in seamlessly with what you have planned.

Think about it Ellen.

Breast Cancer Awareness….or Mama Kat? Or both!

You have four days to make the right decision and I have a clear schedule.

That’s all I’m going to say.

Yours truly,


Dear Ellen: Letter 15


  1. says

    I think that you need to get your campaign out there more. Ellen can ignore one persons request to be on her show, but can she ignore 10,000 people who are demanding that she put you on her show? I think not!

    So here’s the plan, you make me the Get Mama Kat on the Ellen Show official campaign manager, and then we put our heads together and get ten or twenty thousand of our closest friends to start sending her tweets, letters, email, smoke signals, notes delivered through kamikaze carrier pigeons bombing into her windshield when she’s pulling into starbucks parking lot — you know, all the typical ‘get noticed’ strategies — then she will be FORCED to have you on.

    Why, you may ask? Because Ellen is nice, and she can not ignore her public, or else she’ll look mean, and no one wants to look mean. Especially not Ellen, cause like I said she’s nice.

    Also, we’ll need to get you a nice pants suit because I’ve got big plans for a youtube video of you doing the dance that you would do while coming out on her show. I totally know it’ll go viral, so that will get you noticed as well.

  2. says

    lmbo your fascination with Ellen tickles me. Seriously though would you not pee down both legs if one day she tweeted you and said ok ok I give I will drop the restraining order and let you come on the show..bwhahaha

  3. says

    I SOOOO want your photoshop skills. Love the pic and I totally agree with your letter…just let me come with you when you go. I think you need a bloggy fan club in the audience.

  4. says

    I think there needs to be a “Mama Kat on Ellen” Facebook Fan Page. Like what they did for Betty White on SNL. It’s been proven it works!

  5. says

    Ugh! Mama Kat, it just hit me! She is totally intimidated by you. She is afraid that if she has you on the show will be called Mama Kat next season! You’re gonna have to quit being so cute. I have no idea how you’ll do it, but you gotta think of something, quick!

    • says

      This is going to be nearly impossible for me to stop doing Tracy…you realize this right?

      Maybe I should hit up Tyra instead…she won’t be intimidated by me…I don’t think.

  6. says

    I vote for Mama Kat! If, scratch that, when you get on Ellen, you must continue this series….because you must keep your Mama readers laughing! This Mama needs it, requires it, calls out for a giggle or two or more in my day. Those giggles, chuckles, & snorts (well, maybe not snorts…oh I hope there aren’t any snorts!) keep a Mama going through her day. So, in leiu of my lapel button (which I would have nowhere to put as I don’t have anything resembling a lapel to where it upon), I’m off to tweet! :>

  7. says

    You’d be a definite plus on her show. Failing that you should target the Brits and get yourself on Paul Grady or even better on GMTV we’d love you over here. :)

  8. says

    That picture of you and Ellen on the show is HILARIOUS!

    You’re killin’ me, you know that? I’m supposed to be educating my children right now, but instead I’m reading your blog and getting behind schedule. Does that make me a bad mom? LOL

    Michelle ;)

  9. says

    Shit, how did I forget the Ninja note deliverers? They are a key part of the plan. You looking for a job? I’m in the market for an assistant, and I like the way you think. I fully believe that together we could get Mama Kat on Ellen and basically anything else we want to get done!