What Home Business?

As Pat and I sat in Laina’s Kindergarten classroom filling out the necessary paperwork during a one hour conference, I noticed a look of confusion cross my husband’s face.

me: (whispering) What’s wrong???

pat: (whispering back) It’s asking what your occupation is….what should I put down???

me: (whispering still) what do you mean?

pat: (whispering more) what should I say…that you’re a…homemaker??

me: (talking loudly) SAY WHAT?

pat: Ssshh.

me: (whispering again) Are you serious right now?

pat: Well what would you put?

And then I slapped Pat.

In front of everyone.

Across the face.

In my mind.

And not because he thinks I’m a homemaker. I have nothing against women making homes and in fact inspire to do it myself someday. My futile attempts at keeping this house clean and these children fed are…well…futile.

I slapped him in my mind because for six years now I’ve been running a home daycare and STILL he does not equate that to a career.

Oh he does now.

But for just that millisecond of hesitation he actually could not give me a job description. A homemaker? Yes I keep a home. I also run a business. I do the bookkeeping, I file taxes, I run a preschool program, I communicate with parents, I open my doors to strange children at 7am and listen to them beg for cookies until 6pm, and I MAKE PLAYDOUGH WITH THEM!

Needless to say Pat got an earful…and he quickly filled in the blank space with “savvy and beautiful business entrepreneur” so I reckon he did learn something from the mind slap.

Oh and the girls started school.
I’m officially the mother of two school-agers and one step closer to that second tier of parenting. The tier where the kids are all in school and I get to smile fondly at women raising toddlers and say things like “Oh yeah, I guess my kids did throw temper tantrums like that when they were young…I don’t really remember…you’ll get through it. The time goes by SO fast!”


They’re super excited about that.



  1. says

    Something about that last picture bugs me a little bit. Can’t place my finger on it, though.

    Oh God, bad puns. I’m so sorry.

    You are a saint for wrangling a bunch of children for 12 hours a day.

  2. says

    Um, am I the only one who’s noticing, or did you lay Maile on a torture-device stretching thing? I mean, her legs are all of the sudden VERY LONG. WHEW she looks really tall.

    She’s gonna be gorgeous, just like her mama.

  3. says

    i can only imagine how slapping your husband at your daughters’ school would have gone over on their teachers. no one would mess with you.

    that would have burned my ass, too. good thing he’s seen the light.

  4. trash says

    Yeah CK never got it either.

    ‘What? You just hang around the house all day playing with little kids. It’s not like you couldn’t do some ironing as well.’

    Mhmmmm… b/c that would go down so well with the Childcare Inspection people at OfStEd.

    Other people’s kids in my house for a million hours a day? Reeeeeeeeaally don’t miss it.

  5. HeatherLeah says

    Holy cow *blinks* The psychiatrist was WRONG when he told me there was no such thing as the Butterfly People. I told him I saw some at the mall. He didn’t believe me! I can’t wait to show him this pic!


  6. says

    Holy cow…how do you manage to take care of other peoples kids? I can barely take care of my own…last week I baby sat for my cousin, and I was like ew, gross! Good on ya!

    And way to go with 2 kids in school! I have four more years…or is it three? I can’t wait!

  7. says

    I spewed coffee all over my phone when I read the part about slapping…so funny!!

    Btw, I lurve the plug-in you have for easy cell phone reading. It loads superfast and makes reading much easier!

  8. says

    I hate the title homemaker. I’m almost insulted by it. As if I’m sitting around all day making the house look pretty, while my toddler sits quietly and looks through books.

    Yea, I couldn’t write that without laughing either.

  9. says

    That’s so funny about your husband. My husband was the same way when I was in grad school and was teaching, going to classes, nursing a baby and writing a dissertation. He never quite got it that I was WORKING! I’m cracking up about the butterfly faces. I’m sitting here thinking, well THAT’S an interesting back to school tradition! Then I realize YOU’VE put them there to protect identities. Duh!

  10. says

    Bitch! Do you know how long that I’ve followed your ass on Twitter and never seen your blog???? What the fuck?

    I’d have mentally slapped Pat too. My mom has done daycare for 25 years… I HAVE NO CLUE HOW YOU BITCHES DO THIS! I would go fucking nuts. I can barely stay at home with ONE in school and one here all day without losing my damn mind.

    You rock hooker! And you’re SO damn hot! If you say you look like that everyday taking care of hellians… I may puke and then kill myself. So lie if you do!

  11. says

    lord, I would DIE. I would DIE if my husband listed me as a homemaker (even though I only pull in about $40/month. ha). I would DIE if I ran a daycare. wow.

  12. ASHLEY says

    Yay for slapping him.. turkey head.. Why are mean like that?? MY hubby is practically the same and I work outside the house.

  13. says

    Ok, you are going to laugh. That last picture… I was like, “why do all of those people have on butterfly masks?” Ugh. Growing my kids rotted my brain.

    And a mental slap is a good thing. Hopefully he won’t ever forget it again.

  14. says

    I love the idea of the “mind slap”.

    I must be a third-tier Mom: one in high school, one in college.

    I was going to ask about the “butterfly masks” as well, then I took a closer look. Duh! Very creative.

  15. says

    LMAO!! Love that “mind slap”! Too funny. BTW…I just love the way you tell stories. I can totally hear you telling them.

    Oh….love the Butterfly Effect!! LOL

  16. Tabitha says

    Ha ha! I run an in-home daycare, too. My DH is still under the impression that I don’t work. BUT-I pay bills. I told him if I didn’t have to watch other people’s kids, I wouldn’t-I am stuck in the house from 6:45 am-5:30pm feeding, playing with and CHANGING little people. Nope-I don’t work…

  17. says

    I was always upset that ex did not consider at home mom a job in itself. He thought I sat home and watched Oprah and ate bon bons all day. I mist certainly didn’t do that when the kids were young. When they were older, maybe- but it wasn’t oprah or bon bons. and since I worked til bedtime I figured tv and snack food were break time.
    But- you now have two jobs, or the job of a catholic mom. No, two jobs since you have to deal with other parents too. Great mental slap, sometimes they need it.

  18. says

    One of my daughter’s classmate’s parents told me that when he asked my 6 year old (at the time) daughter “what is your mommy’s job?” she responded with “checking her email”.

  19. says

    It drives me crazy too! Someone asked me the other day when I’m planning to get a “real” job. Meanwhile, I run a business out of my home with sales of $200,000.00 last year. Plus I’m a mom of 2 special needs teenagers, I walk my 2 dogs every day and …
    I admit I’m a lousy housekeeper and I don’t cook very often any more and my husband does all of the laundry now BUT I definitely consider myself as having a REAL JOB! When will people stop degrading what we do?
    Glad you straightened out your husband. He’ll never make that mistake again.

  20. says

    Ruh roh, Pat!

    I have a home business. Made myself cards and everything. Totally forget that I even have it! Except when I help a friend out with a project and then can’t bring myself to charge them. So yeah, it’s homemaker for me. Lucky me. ;-)

  21. says

    Oh, you know I’m going to post on this one because, well, I deal with it ALL of the time. Just last week a dad from my sons’ soccer team came up to me and asked me why I was tired since I don’t work. He tends to be a smart ass, but that comment struck a nerve.

    I think it’s because a LOT of in-home daycare providers DO just sit around. Which gives the rest of us a bad rep. But, yeah, your husband should know better. I’m curious now as to what my husband would have written.

  22. says

    I like what you did with that last picture. Lol

    And I totally hear what you’re saying about “not being appreciated.” When people ask what I do, I tell them I currently work for my mom. When they ask “Doing what?” and I tell them I take care of my 90-year-old grandmother, they say, “So you stay at home then?” Well, YES. BUT I also take care of a 90-year-old woman who is the equivalent of a 18 month old child. Let see them do it? It’s a temporary fix to an economy problem, and it pays my bills – therefore, it IS a job.

  23. says

    I would’ve slapped my husband too. I work 36 + hours a week outside of the home as a nanny as actually make more money than my previous job at a law firm yet my husband doesn’t consider my job a “real” job. God only knows why not. Sure I have quiet time while the babies nap but I wrangle twin toddlers all day. I’d like to see him do it, day after day.

    Happy 1st day of school to your girls!

  24. says

    I also run a business. I do the bookkeeping, I file taxes, I run a preschool program, I communicate with parents, I open my doors to strange children at 7am and listen to them beg for cookies until 6pm, and I MAKE PLAYDOUGH WITH THEM!……………….

  25. says

    Can I just say…BRAVO!! I wish to have a home business. I wish to be a true homemaker. I currently a stay-at-home mom and wife that is being forced to get back into the workforce because when I was doing work from home (transcribing) it wasn’t steady enough to be considered “helpful”. It sucked to hear him say that I needed to go back to work to help out, just to have him turn around and say that he needed a better job. So now, he has the better job (starts this week) I still have to go back to work, my daughter in daycare, and any income I bring in is still not going to be enough. He actually said…”if you have benefits, it’s worth whatever you make” NOOOO! It isn’t worth missing out on my kids. And what I bring home…if I find a job that will allow me to bring ANYTHING home after daycare costs is going straight to my account since it isn’t enough for you to acknowledge. When I go back to work he’s going to see all that I actually do around here. We’ll see what he’s going to say then. I do everything around here…to include deal with his mother that lives with us when no one else will. Sometimes I just want to shake him and any other man/woman that says a woman that works at home or is a stay-at-home mom doesn’t do anything or contribute. I bite my thumb at them.