A memorable babysitting job.
A family at some church we didn’t belong to invited me to babysit their three young children. I got the job because my sister was their main babysitter and was getting a little too old for the gig. I was ripe for the picking.
Everyone loves my sister Lolo. She can charm a room faster than you can lace your shoes. Every single one of you would adore her. I, naturally, know the truth…my sister has broken plenty of rules, but unlike me, she doesn’t get caught. Just bats those pretty blue eyes and flies right under the radar.
When it came to babysitting she would coach me on the Lolo way of doing things…”Kathy make sure to clean up their kitchen…even if you don’t have to make their kids dinner, parents LOVE that!”, “Lock the doors when they leave”, “Tell them their kids are cute and well behaved!”.
Unfortunately for the parents, they did not get a mini-me Lolo like they thought they were going to get. They got awkward Kathy. Awkward Kathy unloads your dishwasher without realizing the dishes had never been washed. Awkward Kathy talks on your phone and shuffles through your cd collection and rummages through your cupboards for candy.
And in this particular family’s case, Awkward Kathy would order one medium pizza from Pizza Time every time she babysat. A pizza cost roughly eight dollars…plus a two dollar tip…and ten dollars was exactly what I made for each night I babysat.
I babysat for a medium cheese pizza.
And I ate the whole thing. By myself. Every. Time.
But because I’m awkward, I never felt comfortable asking or even informing the parents of my pizza eating. Never mind the fact that they had to have smelled the pizza…the thought never occurred to me.
In order to hide the evidence that was the greasy pizza box, I would tip toe through their backyard and stuff the box in the bushes.
I would STUFF THE BOX IN THE BUSHES!
To this day I do not know why I thought this plan was so brilliant. I do not know how I managed to devour an entire pizza by myself and I do not know why I thought NOBODY WOULD NOTICE if I stuffed the pizza box in the bushes each week.
I also do not know why the fact, that the previous week’s box was never in the bushes when I went to stuff a new box in, never crossed my mind. Where did I think the boxes were going? Were the parents retrieving pizza boxes from their bushes each week? Was the joke on me?
When they came home from dinner did one of them grab their keys to take me home and give the other one the “why don’t you go get that pizza box out of the bushes” look? Did they argue about who had to go out back to get the pizza box, “Ugh. I did it LAST week! You get it this time, it’s cold out there!”
To this day I don’t know what I was thinking.
And now I’m craving pizza.
Erin says
OMG That is hilarious! Let’s hope they had a gardner that picked up the box for you! Hey at least you didn’t burn it! And paper boxes like that could be used in compost, so just think of it as doing them a favor by 1. not burning down their house and 2. composting before it was popular and 3. helping their bushes grow!
I wrote about babysitting and it had pizza in there….but it was SO a different experience!
HisBell says
Oh my goodness… Awkward Kathy… that is hilarious! I loved me some pizza… but made ’em pay in cash… lol
It’s amazing the things we did as a kid and got away with… Makes me wonder what our kids are going to try and pull! LOL
Elle says
That is so funny. Now I’m vraving pizza too!
Elle says
I really do know how to spell craving. Vraving pizza is what I might say when I’ve had too much wine which unfortunately is not the case now. :-)
Michele Southworth says
You have got to love the crazy things we did as kids and teenagers, thinking we were oh so clever! Good thing we learned from that right? At least I hope so! Thanks for sharing!
mjrodriguez says
My first time here and must say that I really love your post! Although I must admit, I’ve never been on a babysitting job before :-(
Kinda crazy what we thought were good ideas when we were younger actually sound off now that we are older?
Mama Kat says
Agreed. We thought we were being so tricky sometimes when really everyone was on to us.
Melissa B. says
Ah, the good ol’ days…we were recently remembering the kids who babysat OUR kids. Don’t know if I can go all the way back to my own babysitting days. Too many painful memories…
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation says
I can’t believe that they kept asking you to babysit! Psycho!!!!
Tanya says
I cannot believe we keep choosing the same prompt! I love your cute little drawings, how do you do that? Okay, how in the hell did you eat a whole pizza by yourself? Great story. Have a super day!
Mama Kat says
Those drawings are fun to do…I just draw and take pictures of them and then embellish them a bit in photoshop. Easy.
Paula Kiger says
Oh my goodness, that is FUNNY!!! I remember eating all of the cookies except ONE, thinking if I left one it wouldn’t look like I had pilfered all the good stuff in the pantry (????). It is truly a miracle that we all survived our teen babysitting exploits and the children made it through too! I see one set of sisters I used to babysit now on FB, with THEIR families, and think PHEW! looks like they did okay!
Mama Kat says
That’s funny, I’ve never looked up old babysitting kids that I took care of…not sure I’d even remember their names!
Kirsty says
Way too funny! :D
Karen and Gerard says
I am shocked that they kept you on as their babysitter, especially since you didn’t share the pizza with their kids! I’m sure the kids would have mentioned that. Your pictures are so fun too! I was wondering how you do that as well. They must have been very desperate to get out of the house and didn’t much care who was babysitting. Love this post. I’m going to link it up to the Saturday Samplings at Half Past Kissin’ Time if you don’t! It’s hilarious! LOL! I never babysat in my life.
Mama Kat says
No the kids were always in bed…no way was I going to share my hard earned treat. I’m sure they had some kind of dinner date or bible study each week to attend…they were never gone more than 3 or 4 hours.
M.Jay. says
Ha ha ha, that is so funny. It seems like we did not use our brains much as youngens…lol
Have you ever thought of asking them about the boxes?
Mama Kat says
No, I have no idea what their last names even were now. :)
Dumb Mom says
Awkward Kathy is weird and she makes me uncomfortable and sad. I like perfect Kathy WAY mo better. Because I am shallow and delusional I think. Read my post today, should clear things up for you:)
Mama Kat says
Awkward Kathy would hear you call her weird and respond by saying, “thanks for the compliment”…true story.
jackie says
hahaha, that is too funny!
Kathy says
HA! Oh my. I can totally relate to this. I hated babysitting. HATED it. I once sayed with this little boy who these days would be diagnosed with ADHD. We were outside. I said “What do you want to do?” He said, “Let’s play ‘Jesus Christ,'” and then threw himself against the side of the house, arms outstretched. Yikes.
Diane says
Hilarious! Awkward Kathy hiding pizza boxes in the bushes. You KNOW they were shaking their heads in puzzlement each week when they found that box. I can’t believe they never asked you about it!
Mama Kat says
I would have been mortified if they had asked me about it and totally would have denied it. For sure.
liz says
This is soooo funny and WAY better than my babysitting story! I bet they totally did have the “you go get the pizza box out of the bushes” look!
Oh, and you definitely aren’t a “Kathy.” Kat seems to fit you so much better. :)
Mama Kat says
Kathy is awkward. ;)
Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 says
That is the freakiest thing I have ever heard!!! I was awkward, but I never pawned my awkwardness on someone else in the form of hidden pizza boxes!!! YIKES!
Thinking about it more, I kind of love it. At least you had “personality.”
Funkidivagirl says
THAT is hilarious…the pizza box in the bushes. Teens do the weirdest things…I know, I have one.
Jackie says
That’s hilarious!
And they never said anything to you at all?? Didn’t the kids ever ask for pizza?
I babysat on occasion but I usually had to make food for the kids I was watching … I wish I would have thought to order pizza though! I bet they would’ve loved that and I would’ve been the bestest baby sitter in the whole entire world!
Mama Kat says
No, I always got it after they went to bed. And I DID make food for them…I saved my appetite for my own entree. :)
Amethyst Moon says
Holy Crap! That’s Damn funny!!!
Mariposa @ A Stranger in this Land says
Ha! That’s so funny!
Carrie says
That is so damn funny. I never babysat much so the thought of buying a pizza probably wouldn’t have crossed my mind
Jenners says
I’m sure they called you “Pizza Girl” behind your back! That is so funny. Now that you’re the mom, would you hire someone like “Awkward Kathy”?
Mama Kat says
Ummm…probably not! Ha! And only because I’d rather someone a little more confident spending an evening with my kids.
Jennifer says
Well they must not have minded to much if they kept letting you come back. I mean what’s a pizza box in the bushes compared to a good babysitter.
Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. says
That was hysterical! Well done!
Jessica says
Haha, nice! I’d like to know how our brains worked when we were younger.
Steph says
THAT is one of the funniest stories I have read in a long time!!
The box in the bushes is HYSTERICAL –made only funnier by your pictures!
Happy Wednesday!
Scargosun says
Hey, they must have liked you if they kept having you come back. :) The pizza box thing is something I totally would have done at that age too though.
Bethany says
Oh my gosh, that’s hysterical! Too funny, the things that we thought we could get away with as teens :)
Angel says
Lmbo first I can’t picture you being awkward and secondly a cheese pizza?? Good grief at least go for the expensive one lol.
Missy @ My Life Ain't Always Beautiful says
Oh my goodness! Great story! Thanks for sharing!
Rachel says
Funny! We used to have a babysitter who ate all the brownies and cookies in our house. When our parents got home, they blamed my sister and I for the missing sweets!
Michelle says
That’s hilarious! When I want (or need) a good chuckle, I know I can on Mama Kat to deliver!
It’s funny what we do when we’re teens – when we become adults we soon realize we weren’t nearly as smart as we thought we were. ;)
Peace,
Michelle ;)
Jenny says
LMFAOOOOO that’s sad. But hey, at least you had fun! ;P
mom taxi julie says
LOL that’s too funny! I did a lot of stupid crap when I was babysitting too. Probably why I never hired any teenagers to watch MY kids!
Tristina says
Hah!
Now I want pizza….
Julie says
OMG – I can’t believe they never called you out on it!?! Crazy! Wow. So funny.
Jen says
Oh, awkward Kathy is the best!
Sarah says
The best part about this? It’s SO something I would do!! I mean totally and completely!! LOL. I love it!
Melissa says
This is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. I am shocked that you can be honest about such a ridiculous event! :) I’m glad you were though because it brought me some entertainment!
Adrienne says
This is so funny! We do the dumbests things when we’re young. The pizza box in the bushes is the perfect example of how we never thought about anything after the inital action. Of the days of innocence…I had the best babysitting gig ever! I chose the dream prompt, but man, it was a hard decision!
June Freaking Cleaver says
I was more like your sister. Parents AND kids loved me.
I bet the parents thought you had an eating disorder, and would just roll their eyes and look compassionate when they retrieved the pizza box each week.
Poor, awkward Kathy.
alisha says
oh my oh my oh my…this makes me cringe at my own embarrasing memories, pizza momma!!!
Heather Pranitis says
I love it! I can’t believe they never asked you about the pizza boxes. I also wrote about babysitting. And I guess your babysitting didn’t involve tents like. mine. Its truly a bummer making tents woud have added to the fun.
Harter says
That was hilarious! Thanks so much for sharing and making me laugh!
ElizOF says
Your stick figure Kathy is priceless and the story had me on the floor laughing. I haven’t stopped laughing. Kat, you can have a career in stand-up comedy.
Best,
Elizabeth
Stephanie @ The Blue Zoo says
LOL You know they have to be telling the story of the crazy pizza box babysitter all the time!!
Barb says
Really I think this post is the first that ever made me lol. Seriously. Awkward Kathy needs to be a character somwhere. And why the bushes? Love it.
Jessica says
This might be the funniest post I’ve read in awhile. Your drawings complete your stories and are freaking hysterical. I wish I had half your artistic talent :)
Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry says
Check out Saturday Samplings–I linked up this post for you there because it was the funniest thing I’ve read all week.
mub says
I’m not entirely sure what goes through teenaged brains. Not logic, that’s for sure!
Lolli says
I can’t believe you stuffed the boxes in the bushes! I wonder what they thought when they discovered them?!
Amy Sullivan says
Bounced over from Saturday Sampling and loved your post! First time here, and I can’t wait to read some writing linked above!
Rachael says
Oh my gosh, this cracks me up! I really do wonder if they were finding the pizza boxes every time.
Mrs4444 says
OMG-I laughed so hard through this!! Don’t feel bad–I lost my virginity while babysitting–Kinda makes your pizza thing seem pretty tame, no?hahaha
Oh, and YES–the kids were in bed, of course. (Their own.)hahaha
Erin says
Thank you so much. Now I have staved off any round of Zoloft my post-partum self may have needed for at least another week.
Venassa says
This may be my favorite blog post I’ve ever read. Too funny. I love your illustrations.
Elizabeth Kaylene says
Hahaha, too funny! I wish I’d babysat as a kid. Everyone I know who babysat has great stories. Instead, I just read The Babysitter’s Club.
Emily says
That is funny, you must have been a half-way decent baby-sitter, they still kept hiring you even though you were crazy!
I missed this one first time around. Visiting from Saturday Sampler.