Writer’s Workshop: High School Teacher Wardrobe Malfunction

A wardrobe malfunction.

As a high school teacher I wore a knee length purple and black little number to work one day. It was my first real job out of college and I was thrilled that I was finally in a place where I could buy my own clothes. I had nothing else to spend my money on.

It was a super cute skirt and I matched it with a pair of knee length black leather boots and was totally looking as trendy as EVER. Fifteen year old girls would go home from school that day and write in their diaries about how much they loved my outfit…that much I was sure of.

I didn’t wear a slip under the skirt because the colors were so dark and after studying it under a thousand different lights I determined indeed, I did not need one.

Correction.

I studied it under a thousand different lights, but not natural light.

What that means is that when I tried the dress on at the store and later in my bedroom and then before leaving the house, I did not notice anything that might encourage me to go ahead and put a slip on.

I did not stand in a stream of sunshine to see if the outline of every inch of my legs and underwear could be seen through my skirt.

I did not stand in a stream of sunshine that is…until I got to school. And not until after I spent the entire day parading around the school grounds in my new cute skirt. In fact, it wasn’t until the last hour of school at a school pep assemble, when I bent down to pick up my dropped keys, that I caught a glimpse of my very visible underwear…through my skirt.

I gasped.

I Inched toward the doorway and quietly slipped into the courtyard to study my exposed body in private.

Indeed!

Underwear. Legs. The point where the underwear meets the legs. All of it exposed.

All of it exposed, all. day. long while I skipped through the courtyard to each of my classes mindlessly rambling on about the magic and the beauty of language to groups of gawking teenagers.

I was mortified.

Fifteen year old boys would go home from school that day and write in their diaries about how much they loved my outfit…that much I was sure of.

Dressed For Success

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Mama's Losin' It

Now it’s your turn!

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) In what way were you labeled as a child and how did it affect you?
2.) About me. Do you have an about me page? Because people want to know. Write a page that describes who you are and what you’re about or spruce up your current about me page!
3.) A wardrobe malfunction.
4.) It was SUCH a big deal…write about a fight you got into that you were passionate about then, but that seems silly now.
5.) A time you feared for the safety of a loved one.

Comments

  1. says

    WOW, that is awful!! At least it was the last day of school and you didn’t have to face the kids for a couple months!!

  2. says

    Did you ever think that you inspired your students in two ways that day?

    Back in 1971, when skirts were SHORT, pleated little hoochie mama things, my homeroom teacher (the Art teacher), would get on a chair and hang up artwork in the classroom.

    I am confident that the boys knew if/when she waxed…

    Oh, and the girls’ skirts could only be five inches above our knee – the teachers did not follow that rule.

  3. Cameron says

    Needless to say, zero boys wrote in their diary/journal about this experience. Several of them may have fantasized about it ;) Lucky bastards!!

  4. says

    If you’d been blogging at the time:

    You would have been mortified for about ten minutes — and then you’d have blogged about it. Because it’s just that great a story.

  5. says

    OMG, I would totally die if that were me! That’s why I always opt for the layered look, and always put on that slip. ;)

    Although I’m sure you were horrified at the time, you managed to turn it into a great blog post! (As usual ;) )

    Peace,
    Michelle ;)

  6. says

    Oh my goodness! When I first saw the title, I thought you were talking about you as student and some other unfortunate woman as teacher. The story got even funnier (?) when I realized it was about YOU. I think we have all been in that situation. That natural light’ll do it every time!!

  7. No Excuses says

    I think it’s sort of like having a “naked” dream. If you just act like there’s nothing wrong, maybe people won’t notice! Sorry it happened your first year!

  8. says

    I’ll bet those “boys” are still telling the story of their hot teacher in her see through skirt! ;) At least you can look back on it and laugh…okay maybe you’re not laughing but still, gave you a great blog post!

  9. says

    I would like to say it happens to the best of us but then again, its never happened to me. At least that I can recall. It might have happened and been so traumatic that I blocked the experience.

  10. says

    Yeah…. There’s nothing like going to work, walking the halls like you own the place all day long, and then realize that you have on one NAVY, and ONE black pump. True story. I had two identical pairs of shoes in different colors, and apparently didn’t get a good look at myself before I waltzed out the door that morning. I WAS MORTIFIED!! And of course I worked at one of those “hose and heels” offices, so taking my shoes off was not an option.

    QUESTION: Were you at least wearing CUTE panties, or were they the icky, LARGE, white cotton variety? Cuz that would totally transform your “malfunction” into an “I posted my teacher’s granny panty wearing grandma-ass on YouTube” moment. LOL

    I also chose #3, but wrote about an awkward mommy fashion faux pas.

  11. says

    Kids are so self-absorbed, that I’m sure that they didn’t even notice your skirt. But then again, they love to make fun of teachers too. Oh dear. Sorry.

  12. says

    Maybe it wasn’t noticeable until the assembly? Hopefully? LOL… I never wear a slip so I wonder how many times this has happened to me! I’ve had close calls but I’m sure I’ve walked out of the house in a hurry without thinking about checking in different light. At least you kept their attention!

  13. trash says

    Hahaha, that is on par with my Yr 7. English teacher. His first year out of college, his first proper job, four classes of hormonal teenage girls, his unwitting pairing of black and orange spotted underpants with white cotton trousers. I wonder if the embarrassment has left him yet 20-lots years later.

  14. says

    Oh how embarrassing! Were they really print? Well… at least you weren’t the kind a girl who did that on PURPOSE… just saying. lol

  15. says

    I had this jumper in grade 12 that was insanely short…though you didn’t notice, unless I sat down. It creeped so far up my ass I wasn’t even sitting on it anymore.

  16. says

    Hysterical!I wonder how many of those kids actually did notice or remember it now and yet that moment will live forever in your mind. Amazing the things that we never let go of.

    Thanks for sharing!

  17. says

    LOL! I nearly went to church having done the exact same thing. It wasn’t until my husband saw me standing next to our sliding door that we realized a slip was indeed needed! Yikes!

  18. says

    Had a similar experience when I taught 8th grade English,exceptit was my shirt that was see through. The sad part was that I discovered that the boys were not really as enthralled with the literature as I thought. They just were watching my boobs. Yikes!

  19. says

    Seriously, we must have ESP. Yes we have once AGAIN chosen the same prompt. That was a great story and only proves I am right in telling my 19 year old to check her reflection outside!! I had to draw my own picture today, thanks for your tips last week! Have a super day-

  20. says

    I am very fond of not wearing a slip beneath skirts. I bet I’ve flashed my undies to no telling how many people over the years, without ever realizing it! At least I’ve always had to wear a bra under my tops, and I do always wear underwear. It could always be worse, right?

  21. says

    LOL! I noticed others commented this too, but it was my first thought…

    Did you have skulls on your panties? Because THAT is probably what the 15 year old boys & girls would most remember. ;o)

  22. says

    As a high school teacher I have totally been there. You want to be cute and trendy, but there are always those days where you slightly miss the mark in the most mortifying ways. Ugh!

  23. says

    Oh man!!! That is so embarassing!!! But I LOL’d when you went from 15 year old girls going home to write about you in their diary, to 15 year old boys going home to write about you. Look at the bright side, you brightened a lot of 15 year old boys days!!!

  24. says

    Very funny story! On the upside, at least you were *wearing* underwear! Think how much worse it could have been!

    Thanks for the prompt to write or rewrite your About page. It’s been nagging at me for a while, and your prompt finally provided the impetus I needed to just do it! So thanks much for making me tend to a little long-neglected housekeeping!
    ~Christy

  25. says

    haha love your wardrobe malfunction story :) I have a similar ongoing dispute with my teenage daughter. She INSISTS on wearing foundation make-up that is at least two shades too dark for her skin and doesn’t blend it in properly at the edges because it looks OK under the light of her bedroom mirror!!

    Thanks for the linky-love again – I’ve tidied up my freelance/about me page so this has given me the perfect chance to show it off :-D

  26. says

    Haha that’s not good for you, but still amusing.
    I can’t figure out which would be worse… realizing this at the end of the day or having someone tell you, and knowing about it all day but not being able to change. But I guess if that happened you could find some sort of cover up.

  27. says

    I’ll just BET the boys all wanted to be in your class! It doesn’t help that you look like Barbie’s best friend, Midge.
    If it happened to me, kids would have just snickered.
    How does it feel to be the one that each one of those boys will judge every girl against for the rest of their lives…lol.
    Sorry, I’ve had a glass of wine already (it’s not 3 yet! GOD)
    Love ya chick, thats why I joke with you like you actually know me… :P

  28. says

    Something similar happened to me last school year! I was mortified! Of course, my friend said she didn’t notice and not to worry about it, but then I remembered someone who wasn’t really my friend and the way she looked at me and I knew it had to have been a problem! Oh, well! What’d’ya gonna do?!

  29. says

    I’m shocked that none of your students snickered loudly enough for you to have noticed earlier! How horrible!

    Seriously, how bad was the underwear you had on underneath? How accurate is that drawing? That could definitely raise the mortification factor.

    Loved this.

  30. says

    I’m sorry but that was freakin’ hilarious. I bet you had all those boys rapt attention but it wasn’t your mesmerizing lesson plans! LOL

  31. Holly says

    It COULD have been worse!! It could have been at the end of Back to School night when you’d just met and presented to the parents of all your students! Yeah… I’m TRYING to give that teacher the benefit of the doubt… but I cringe at thinking of what my 13 yo boy may want to center his art project on…. *sigh* Could she REALLY NOT realize that her skirt is WHITE, a size or 2 too tight, no slip, and we could all tell that she’s wearing THONG underwear??? REALLY?? So, I guess it happens!! Maybe they should make a new rule that teachers of adolescent boys may only wear their hair in a tight bun and have FRUMPY clothes and hornrimmed glasses! BAHAHAHA!!! ;p

  32. says

    Oh my word, I would have simply died. And nobody even had the decency to come and tell you that all your assets were out for all to see. Must of looked good then I suppose ;)

  33. says

    Great story! I once taught half the school day with my shirt inside out, yea I felt like an idiot, but kudos to my fourth period student who finally had the gumption to make me aware of this oversight:)

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