I’ve got it.
I haven’t even finished raising my toddler and I’m certain I have this disorder. Even though I just made it up.
I don’t know what’s wrong with him…other than the fact that he is a three year old boy. He pulls and hangs and whines and cries and oh.my.LORD it’s all I can do survive a day without dunking my head into a pot of boiling water.
One minute he is DYING if I don’t drop everything I’m doing righthatsecond to get him set up at the bar with yogurt and the next minute he is licking his spilled yogurt across the counter.
If my eyes…or ears…or mind…happen to wander to a subject that does not revolve around what he is doing rightthatsecond I will be terrorized until I am re-focused on what he is doing.
When I’m in public, and I hear a small child scream, I instantly fall to my knees and start throwing cookies, “HERE! TAKE THEM!! TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST PLEASE…DON’T SCREAM LIKE THAT!!!”
I set the clocks back each morning hoping my son will wake up and then put himself back to bed when he realizes it’s far too early to come downstairs. Never mind the fact that he can’t tell time.
I line the hallways with candy canes and sugar cubes and sticks of molasses hoping a constant supply of sugar will prove my undying love for him and convince him to take it easy on me.
Sure he’s a good looking little guy and of course I insist on tickling him and chasing him and nibbling his neck on a daily basis…that’s what I do. Why am I repaid with tantrums? Why? And when will they end?
Somebody hold me.
{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
When you get old and insane, and your toddler is then your caretaker, you can get your revenge in grand style! :)
Because he is a boy and that is what they do.Until they realize they can write their name when they pee, and that if they move it moves and thereforebeing still at the potty is totally optional.Then he will be amused
Come here momma *gives you a big ole’ hug*
OH MY LORDY YESSSSS!!
lol …sounds like a man to me!
this sounds like my house. today I sat on my couch and cried during yo gabba gabba because I am so overwhelmed by the tantrums. Thanks for being honest- I hate it when all my bloggy friends do is talk about how awesome their kids are and they never do anything wrong or annoying!
Perhaps a touch of the terribly clingy threes? LOL! My kids did same and eventually grew out of it… Don’t worry, he’ll grow out of it.
Thanks for stopping by my blogger blog :-)
Elizabeth
All I can say is AMEN! I have a 3 year old little girl who might be able to give your son a run for his money. Thank goodness for 2 day a week preschool or I would be completely nuts by now! LOL!
Hang in there. I promise it does pass. I always swore the ‘Terrible Twos’ was a myth. Three is really the tricksiest bit. I cannot give you the answers because (whispering) ‘there are none’. My personal view is that boys ARE more clingy and demanding and in need of more high level attention when they are small. There is no such thing as too much love so long as it is offset with sufficient boundaries and rules, although you might want to wheel back the sugar walls a bit ;-)
please don’t tell me these things, my 2 1/2 year old boy is on the same track and I was sooooo hoping to avoid this stage with him. Why must we be tortured? WHY!?!!?!
As the mama of boys myself, I hate to be the bearer or bad news, but four ain’t looking too promising, either. I just drink a lot. That helps immensely.
I don’t know who coined the term “Terrible Twos” but I remember when Jordan was three and feeling like she was worse at that age. Hang in there! And if all else fails, keep throwing cookies at him. It’ll be certain to buy you a few more minutes of sanity for sure. :-)
Three years old is the worst age for kids EVER!
THREE? My 13-month-old is acting like that already!!! *tears hair out in clumps*
Oh, I feel for you! You def have your hands full! My mom always said that if her boy had been first, he would have been her last!
Oh my! I feel for you! You def have your hands full! My mom always said that if her boy had been first he would have her last!!
I can’t believe that such a cutie has ever given you a day of trouble! ;)
You SO crack me up. Today’s post made me laugh. You’re such a good Mommy. I know exactly how you feel! I have a two year old girl and she is exactly how you described your son. Boiling water? ha ha … sometimes I think of the kitchen oven! Reading your posts about Motherhood only make me feel better about myself. Thanks for sharing!
I love this post. LOVE.
I could hear your voice reading it to me when I read it.
Please write more like this.
That is all.
I have two boys (ages 3 1/2 and 1 1/2). And a newborn girl. Yeah. I am ripping my hair out on a regular basis.
My oldest is by-far the hardest when it comes to tantrums.
It never ends. It just gets louder & harder to distract them….sorry to tell you :( LOL
I feel your pain and am so relieved that I am not the only one. (And I’m reaching here but I’m hoping this means their tantrums are NOT a reflection of our parenting styles!)
Hilarious! My girls didn’t throw temper tantrums until they turned 5. How weird is that? Do boys start earlier? I’m not looking forward to this phase when my infant become a toddler.
That is just a horrible age. Our kids are lucky we don’t sell them the circus freak show as having been raised by wild animals. My little one turns three in April and I am NOT looking forward to it. This morning I told him to stop doing something and he roared at me. Yes. Roared. I didn’t even know how to respond to that.
Reading your post gave be PTTTT flashbacks of my own. I was forced to raid my expired bottle of vicodin just to deal. BTW, does vicoden lose or gain potency after expiration? You know what, idontcaregimmegimme. Make that screaming stop for the love of God. (As you can probably tell, I totally relate to the dropping to the knees and dolling out the goodies to end the assault on my ears and one last frayed nerve.)
Mine is only 18 months, but I feel like I may have some of the symptoms of this disorder. Especially when the answer to everything is “No way.” Want to eat lunch? No way. Want a cookie? No way. Want to go bother Daddy for awhile? No way.
Your little guy is absolutely adorable. I think God makes them cute so we won’t kill them.
My two almost three year old is offering similar challenges. It has lead to my prayer life getting stronger and a desire for earplugs.
Yes, that’s tough! I hope that this stage passes soon for you and it can be filled with more of the fun/good moments :) I, on the other hand, think I have post traumatic neurotic/a – hole dog disorder.
I am so with you sister except that mine is a girl and I am pretty sure her screech is the cause of my nervous eye twitch and why I now cringe whenever I hear any child scream. The other day in fact my hubby had to convince me that the cries I heard were from the street and not coming from our house I would relax. I am always on my toes. Keeps me from gaining too much weight, the only good thing about it. Problem? i have another one coming upon that age! At least yours knows how to prepare your coffee! One good thing!
I agree! It’s because he is a boy and that’s what they do!! But at least mine grew up to be loving and kind to his mother…just took a while to get to that point!
whoever coined the phrase “terrible twos” had clearly never met a three year old. Four wasn’t much better, to be honest.
(sorry)
I remember my son turning the corner at about 4-1/2. I’m still waiting patiently for my daughter to do this, but frankly, I think I”m seeing her at 14 as well (she is 4-1/2).
The only thing I can suggest is a healthy glass of wine at the end of the day and an occasional massage to work the monkey off your back.
OMGosh that is too funny! I think each and every kiddo of mine has scarred me in some ir-repairable way. The tantrum that comes with the 2 year old birthday is definitly a gift that keeps on giving! My little man used to be so sweet, and lovely, and I couldn’t get enough. Now, I count down to nap and bedtime and I sometimes try to hide from him…but he ALWAYS finds me! Ahhhhh!!
I’m pretty sure I was like this when I was a kid … my mom doesn’t like telling stories of when I was a kid … she starts getting the shakes.
My wife and I were just talking about this with our recently turned 4yo. Wow.
@Rustin, Siiigh…he’s 4? Meaning this isn’t going to end soon??
Regardless of the tantrums and how terrorizing they may be he sure is cute!
Hilarious! It will end. . . one day.
My son is 22 yrs old and he stopped right about 10 minutes ago! LOL just kidding.
He stopped during his first year of pre-school at age 4.
Until then, I’m sure there is a support group.
In the meantime keep leaving the sugar trail. It will pay off later! i recently got jewelry for it, from my son!
@Sharon, Awww, what a sweetheart! When Kainoa gives me jewelry I’ll know we’ve made it!
Okay you are describing my 20 month old. Are you telling me it gets WORSE?????
Oh man, I don’t have any words of wisdom, just thanks for the laugh and I’m right there with you – times two! 3 year old boys, HOLD ME indeed!
~Melissa
Wow. I was debating blogging about this very topic and I might as well just copy and paste your post to my blog. This is my world, all day, every day.
My two year old boy recently started repeating himself incessantly. “Mommy, I want pasta. Mommy, I want pasta. Mommy …” until I give in. Sometimes I’m going to the bathroom when he starts, sometimes I’m already in the process of getting him whatever it is he needs, sometimes I’m driving, and sometimes I’m trying to have a little “time” with my husband when he starts up.
IT. DRIVES. ME. INSANE.
If you have any suggestions as to how to handle this kind of behavior, please share. I love that he can express himself and communicate but there has to be some … boundaries, right?
Throwing cookies…love it! I just sent this to my husband to let him know that we’re not alone in this!
OMG… I have an 8 month old little boy and you have def got me scared. I don’t know what to tell you about if it goes away but I think it must at one point change. Good luck.
BWAH!!!! LOL I am laughing through tears… I have a two and a half y/o boy and I swear on all that is holy that I will give him any and EVERYTHING HE WANTS IF HE WILL JUST STOP!!! It is 1 am and I spent FOUR AND A HALF hours of my night trying to teach this boy to sleep without me and I’m pretty sure I failed. THANK YOU for making me feel like I’m not alone and not a COMPLETE FAILURE for wanting to bribe him ;o) THANK YOU~