Pat and I agreed we’re done having kids. Even though I wrote him a letter asking him to reconsider and he wrote me back basically saying he would not.
We’re at a good place. I know this. Our kids are old enough to do stuff and we’re done with diapers and bottles and interrupted sleep and this is the family time we’ve been looking forward to!
Life is so good.
But then my sister had to go and have a baby in December and well…something happened. I blame it on the shock of black hair. None of my nephews or nieces have been born with that kind of hair…only my kids. Only my babies look like that.
So when I saw this baby I had the natural “oops! It looks like you gave birth to one of my children, I suppose I’ll be taking her home with me…better luck next time” reaction that any normal mother would have.
Unfortunately hospitals don’t like you to take babies without some sort of release and my breast milk hadn’t come in yet, so I had no choice but to leave my baby with my sister. And since my sister seems kind of attached to her I have no choice but to recreate her myself.
But my husband is all “whoa whoa whoa, what happened to the ‘good place’ we’re at? And no diapers or bottles or sleepless nights?? What happened to the no more babies plan??”
And I was all “so. how married are you to that plan?? I mean, that’s our baby! We just have to have her.”
And he was all “I’m pretty married to it. And I’m pretty sure you can’t re-give-birth to a baby that already exists.”
And I was all “Oh come one! I’ll take of her myself! You don’t even have to look at her. I’ll feed her and change her and sing songs to her and…”
And he was all “No.”
And I was all “Like…percentage-wise…how sure is that no?”
And he was all “Like 99.9999999999999999999% sure”.
And I was all “Sooooooo…you’re sayin’ I have a chance?”
And then he walked away.
He does that when I start quoting Dumb And Dumber.
Kate @ Surrounded By Penises says
I am soooooooooo with you on this. We’re in a good place…no diapers…everyone sleeps 12 hours…they’re all in school. WTH? Husband is wishy washy…some days he’s all sure, I want one and other days he’s all F that! Mostly the “sure” moments are when he wants to get some hehe
Stephanie @ The Blue Zoo says
Aw, that baby is adorable! Expecially while its all sleepy and quiet.
Just remember they arent so cute when they scrunch their faces up and scream bloody murder for an hour in the middle of the night, or when they spew all over your last clean shirt, or when they are older and they rip out half your hair.
I find focusing on the negative helps me…. lol
Michelle johnson says
Bless your heart. It’s why i keep having babies. LOL I have 6.
Hey, havent been here in a while. Moved ot singapore. Starting a wordpress blog. i remember when you did that. It’s hard. I pretty much just want to tell someone else to do it for me. I think i will find someone.
Kind of like you did with your baby.
Lynnie says
My husband was 99.999999999999% sure of no more kids….and basically feels like I put a gun to his head. We love our last and can’t imagine life without her, but I advise ALL of my friends not to have more unless you are both 100% into it. Marriage is hard enough without a crapload of resentment hanging over it.
trash says
CK and I danced around the whole ‘one more/no more’ thing for about five years after destructoBoy was born. Then we reached the really good place. Not just the good place where your kids can dress themselves (mostly) and ask for things rather than screaming (usually) and stuff like that; but the REALLY good place. Where you can send kids to the shops for groceries, they can arrange and deliver themselves to playdates (although it goes by a cooler name). They have lived through sufficient popluar culture that they ‘get’ stuff. They have moved out of the ‘me’ stage of Piaget’s theory and are becoming conscious that the world is about more than them. They are turning into interesting people now not just children.
Babies are cute and all but stick with the bit where you get to give them back when you get bored.
Also is this your sister’s first? If so, man are you in a good ‘I know everything’ position. And you know how much you love that.
June Freaking Cleaver says
I was 100% sure, as I had one daughter in college, and one in high school. I was THIS CLOSE to being done with this whole ‘kids at home’ thing.
Then God laughed at me.
Even after getting the Depo shot, I got pregnant.
99.3% does NOT round up to 100%.
I called The Boy .7% before he was born.
Noexcuses says
Nothing can replace the feeling one gets while holding the little ones. I understand your yearnings. Being the favorite aunt is not such a bad thing! Try babysitting for a weekend and your family will convince you that “you’re done!”
Jessi @ naptime diaries says
We had our final baby a year and a half ago. Every month when I get my period, I breath a sigh of relief. In December, my sister had her fourth. I’ve now named our fourth baby while my husband is shouting no. Should we make a pregnancy pact? Mwahahahaha.
Jen @ Making Messes says
I want one!!! But I have my hands full with three that are soooooo not past diapers yet. Plus, I guess that whole tummy tuck thing would be ruined. So, yeah, we’re done.
But they are sooooo oooey gooey and wipe away all my cynicism!
PamJ says
Agh BABY FEVER – don’t fall for it. Those silly babies do it every time! Hopefully your sis lives close then you can get your baby fix in whenever you need… :)
Jill of All Trades says
They are precious little things but I’ve been done for a very, very long time and now ready for the grandkids, just can’t get my girls to cooperate on the front. Someday.
Adoption of Jane says
lol @ quoting dumb and dumber. Well coming from a mom that did it “all over again” several times… my kids are spaced out 24, 19, 13, and 3 its difficult. The funny thing is once my kids were out of diapers, off to school, and i was done paying for childcare… my crazy butt did it all over again! I was in the carpool lane and slowed down, lol. I love my kids but my me time was thrown out the window a long time ago. Also I’m not sure about your age but a lot of complications come after 40. But if you do go that route.. I support ya gal… but then again i’m not hubby ;)
Stacey says
I’m afraid of that feeling. We’ve said this is our last baby. I’m due in May. And while a large part of me is totally and completely thrilled that we are done, there’s this teeny weeny part of me that is afraid I’ll still get baby hungry.
Stephanie@Geezees says
I usually get baby fever when someone close to me just had a baby too. I love the photo of you and the baby. Maybe your hubby will change his mind.
Vicarious Chelsea says
He’s wrong and you’re right. So there. You don’t need him!
Um… err… ok maybe you do a little. And, frankly, I’d rather eat boogers than have another baby at this point.
BUT I also firmly believe in quoting movies for emphasis during an argument. So there’s that.
JustMom420zaks says
How many times must I say it before it finally catches on??
Baby.Timesharing.
Well *I* think it’s an awesome idea
Anna M says
Oh man, I hear you. I don’t know how I found your blog, but I love it.
I did the same thing with my husband a couple of years ago. I think I pulled out the big guns and told him how I KNEW there was one more out there WAITING for me. Yeah, pretty dramatic. Two years later, I have the best one year old ever.
And I convinced us both that he will grow up all too quickly (which he has) and be “big” like our other kids. Before we know it, we’ll be right back at that stage where we can have fun with the kids, we’ll just have one more to join in on the fun. Right? right?!
Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. says
So exactly how long did you spend with your sister’s baby?!!? I suggest a few more nights.
Nicole @MTDLBlog says
I have started having these moments because I realize that we have a general plan not to have more children. SO when I hug my babies at night, I am a little saddened because I realize how fast time is passing and ugh…..I’m with you. Cuddly, sweet, sweet babies. If you decide to go ahead with another one, I have mass quantities of baby items currently…you know the twins thing…..I have ended up with two of many items. LOL. I’ll send them your way. ;-)
Gasen says
Depends on the local laws and the fish.She can only get into trouble if they find out. I won’t tell, but I will if she plans on kenpieg them in a tiny little tank and won’t research how to keep them.There are different types of sunfish, the smallest would require a 75 gallon tank for 3 adults. I can see kenpieg them if she knows how to keep fish. I hear they’re kind of like kenpieg cichlids and I would approach it as such.Been there, done that.
Kate says
Lol Good luck with that!
I have the hubs sold on 3, I’m working on 4. I’m the oldest of 5, he’s an only child, I in no way want 5 kids, but I want some of the fun chaos that comes with a big family.
Remember, the sleepless nights, diapers, & bottles are all temporary. They grow into big people that can be a lot of fun!
Joy says
We made the final decision this past Oct when hubby went thru the big V. But there was that little part of me (pretty sure it was my ovaries) that were crying :) Just keep making others have babies for you that is my plan atleast, ya know other people’s babies are so much better!
S Club Mama says
Totally.understand. My uterus wants a baby…
ThePeachy1 says
Yeah, that good place you are in. Your uterus may not join you on that trip. Especially when the kids leave for college. My oldest was 13 and I got surprised pregnant. ( that’s code for drunk). 9 years later my daughter is graduating college and if I didn’t have the prince here to fill the gap I would be baby napping or something, so I am hoping he is the filler kid and before he leaves for college I will be a grandma.
alisha says
what…a dollbaby. for reals. i can’t believe she has to live with her birth family.
and? omgiwantonedammit!!! just one. i mean a couple or three would be fab, but come on bullshit low hormones, i want one of those!!!
Scary Mommy says
Pat is dumb. You need another baby- so unfair that the two of us never got to document our pregnancies on our blogs. You owe it to your readers! Think of the potential posts!!
Laura says
For the longest time I battled with the same thing. Husband and I went back & forth. It’s tough… but when my mom explained to me that the feeling NEVER goes away I realized I needed to learn how to deal with it instead of always getting sad.
And we quote Dumb & Dumber a lot. It’s not something I usually confess to others. ;o)
Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) says
I kinda wish I had gone for a fourth. I mean, my life was already a clusterfuck, how much worse could it have gotten? Yeah…too late for me now :(
liz says
Gotta love a quality Dumb & Dumber quote!
I love how he effectively pointed out that you cannot re-give-birth to a baby.
I’ve never been an achy-uterus woman, so I can’t relate.
Brandi says
I’m right there with you. Something happened within the last 6 months and I think I want one too. Like your Hubs, my Hubs thinks I’ve lost my mind…
Tina says
I definately get that way. But then I take on an infant in childcare…I get to cuddle and snuggle and lube up with J&J…and send them home and sleep all night! Best of both worlds!
shafeena says
How precious !! gives me a few ideas on how to talk the husband for another one of my own !!
Anne says
There is that .1% that he may change his mind! Your sister’s baby is SO adorable – all that hair! I’ve got 2 and always thought I wanted 3 but I knew a few days after I had my 2nd I was DONE. I’m happy to hold someone else’s anytime but my sleep is too precious (:
Amy says
What a sweet little angel! How could anyone look at that bundle of sweetness and say no?
Tricia says
Listen, I’m totally not opposed to giving you my Ezra. I mean, he was born in December just like your new niece. No black hair, and he’s a male but hey….beggars can’t be choosers, am I right??
Paulina J! says
Oh she’s precious! I want one tooo! I don’t have any yet so I have a BAD case of baby fever. My husband is “thinking” about it. Congrats on your beautiful niece!!
Karin says
I have been on the no more babies train for years, BUT ohmygod that hair! That tiny little face. I think my ovaries just danced. Uh oh.
gina says
My babies had that black hair too. There’s something about it.
Grace @ Arms Wide Open says
i just had to chuckle at this. when baby fever strikes, it STRIKES! i feel your pain.
Crystal says
OMGoodness what a beautiful baby!!! My hubby says we’re done too…but I never agreed to it. I want only 1 (ok…2) more. What’s the hurt of 1 (ok…2) more??!!
kisatrtle says
deep breaths. deep breaths. You don’t realize how good you have it here. You can visit your niece anytime you want. If she is fusy, whiney or just plain cranky you can give her back. You can be the awesome Aunt Kat who lets her do what she wants and has the best place to sleep over E-VAH! You hold all the cards because you are not the mommy. You are looking at this all wrong. Really…you are.
Sharon says
So, when I held one of my dear friend’s new baby the other day, my ovaries started aching and I realized that even though I’m closer to menopause than starting a new family, this feeling was gonna have to just be for a moment.
So, I sat there, loved on that sweet lil angel. When the visit was over, I drove home thinking of a million ways to make it happen without all the sleepless nights, winter colds, teething, baby-sitters YUCK!
Yeah, that part pretty much caused my ovaries to shrivel back into their almost normal position again.
Jill says
Awww. (PS Love the Dumb & Dumber quotes.)
Jennifer says
Sweet baby girl. I have that same reaction whenever I see a baby with super chunky thighs. I just figure she should totally be mine and I should take her home and give her lots of kisses.
Texan Mama says
I have felt that way at least 4 times. But after #5 was born, I knew, this is it. Well, I knew after trying to wrangle all my kids without totally losing it.
I have no idea how you run a daycare. Actually, it’s what keeps me going some days. I say, “If Kat can do it, I can do it too.”
You think I’m joking?
Nice One says
Oh I could totally have another. ANd then maybe just one more. Maybe I should change my last name to Dugger.
Liz says
Oh man. I totally understand. I have an 8, 6 and 18 month old. I KNOW we are done and yet…. sometimes I just feel those ovaries protesting about being shut down. Every time I deliver a baby I think: “I’m so glad that I don’t have to go through the anxiety and pain of labor again”. Then I go back in the room to see how the baby is latching on and I think…oh man. I wish I had just one more.
Dianna Kennedy says
Oh, girl! We’re in the same boat, all right. My oldest is 16, my BABY girl is applying for K this week, and my sweet boys are almost 3. AACK!
I told Brett I think I want another baby ….. I don’t think he was pleased.
Carrie says
Oh, so sweet! I am pretty sure I am done…in fact when my 4.5yo is arguing with me over a cookie and my 2.5yo is waking me up at 2am still I am REALLY sure I am done.
But then I see a sweet little cuddly baby…and I forget all that other stuff. Oh my uterus is aching right now
Jenn @ That Just Happened says
So close! It’s funny how there are certain babies that you just instantly want to take home with you. After meeting my cousin’s baby for the first time I said, “I’ll take it! Just wrap him up and I’ll take him home, thanks.” Something about his big blues and that new baby smell…
Dawn's Diversions says
So, so sweet.
I’m with your husband. I wouldn’t want to go back to all that baby stuff. I like being able to have a few more freedoms. =)
Dumb Mom says
I want a baby so bad my uterus would ache if it still worked right. Well, I guess technically it works, it’s just tied, or burned, or barricaded, or whatever. I got my tubes tied specifically for times like this. Because fact of the matter, I want a baby, but we all know I sure as heck don’t NEED one. Hope you get what you want, even though I will probably hate you a little if you actually do. Not so much that I’d stop talking to you, just enough that I’d talk ABOUT you to people you don’t know. XOXO!
Metamor4sis says
Awwwww
Melanie says
LOL!! Been there…done that…same husband response. I actually called him on the phone to propose the idea of another baby after seeing the most adorable newborn swaddled in her baby carriage. It was a no-go for him. I must admit it was a wise decision, especially since our baby hasn’t even hit a year old yet. Who knew those feelings of wanting another one would come back so soon?
Good luck on pleading your case!
The Drama Mama says
Dang. I want one of those too…
AS long as I can give it back. haha. ;)
kiki says
love Dumb and Dumber. cute baby. and congrats to your sis. maybe if you promise pat a boat or a man cave or a sports car he’ll get you preggers. take care, Mama Kat, and enjoy that new baby smell.
tiffany says
I use that quote all the time. It comes in quite handy! :-)
Kristin says
LOL You just crack me up! I know how you feel though. I get baby fever about every 3-4yrs. About the time my “twins” (they are 6mo. apart in age) started pre-K I was begging my BF for another. I begged so hard that I eventually convinced him that knocking me up was the only way he would get peace. Now that my little man is 3yrs old…I’m getting it again. Even though I have been the one to say “absolutely no more children are coming from this uterus!!” It doesn’t take much to say, “Awww but just look at how cute Bug is, lets try for a girl..again..” lol BF just gives me dirty looks…
Karin says
You should totally have another!