Writer’s Workshop: Scarred

Magic happened when I became a mother. I became a fighter. When you realize you are the only voice for the small creatures in your care, you learn to take that job seriously. No one is to harm your babies. You will prevent them from feeling pain at any cost. You are their protector and also your own protector, because when they hurt…you hurt. You do not want them to grow up with scars.

Scarred

I cried when my first baby had her first shots because it symbolized the first time she’d ever experienced pain. She had never cried like that before. It was true pain in her world and I saw it as a branding. We were branding her for life. A sharp prick to her thigh, filled with vaccines to protect her from the world I brought her into. We had to hurt her to protect her from more hurt.

Scarred

I dread the first heartbreak. The first lost friendship. The first moments of insecurity. Of feeling less than. I don’t want them to suffer. I don’t want them to be sad. I’d rather them stroll naively through life taking friendship for granted than to carry the weight of despair or loss.

To prepare them, I dote and love and hug and kiss and shower these kids with praise. I will infuse them with confidence.

Scarred

Too strong, they will not be torn down by others. They will not be scarred.

Scarred

I will navigate them past those waters. They will not bruise or scratch or cry or hurt. Helmets, knee pads, padded walls. Chocolate, clothes, and money. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep these children happy.

Scarred

And I’m magic. So it will work.

They will grow and lean on me and when they have a rough day at school they will come to me and I will buy them ice cream and we will watch movies and they will smile and be okay.

Because I said so.

Scarred

They will grow and they will take chances and they will fall in love.

They will grow and they will be happy and they will choose their path.

They will find their way and fly free.

Scarred

They will leave this protective nest and suddenly, the only one left scarred will be me.

Scarred

******************

Mama's Losin' It

Now it’s your turn!

Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!

The Prompts:

1.) Scarred.
2.) The last time my heart melted was because…
3.) A moment you truly felt relieved.
4.) A list of 20 ideas to make this your best year yet.
5.) I told you so! Write about a time you felt validated.

Comments

  1. says

    I want to live in a world where “Because I said so” works.
    I so do.
    I truly love this post. You capture those universal fears of motherhood so beautifully.

  2. says

    I can’t believe how grown up Kainoa looks!!
    And how dare you make me think about my babies leaving the nest when I am having the most emotional year of my whole life! =)

  3. says

    I wish there was a bubble that could protect them from all the jerks out there. I worry more about their emotional pains that the physical ones.
    Sigh.
    Loved this post!

  4. says

    We can only protect then for so long and then we must let them go. Beautiful post. But bittersweet too.

    Thanks you for the great prompts this week. I chose scarred too.

  5. says

    As a mother there are really so many things you worry about that you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night still thinking about them..how to protect your young ones etc.. its never ending.

  6. says

    As the mother of wee ones, I find I spend most of my time trying to prevent our kids from getting hurt physically. I forget sometimes that it’s the invisible injuries from their later years that will probably sting more than a scraped knee. And I won’t be able to do anything about that.

    Gah! The entries this week are ALL making me tear up. Who picks those prompts, anyway??

  7. says

    It’s what every parent wants and needs. But never a reality. We can’t completely protect our kids and this sucks BUT by not always protecting them we help them become strong individuals.

    Parenting is a tough gig

  8. says

    I agree with Booyah’s Momma; the entries are just calling for empathy!

    I love that you’ve tried and will continue to try to build a nest of protection around the little birds who in a few short years will test their wings and explore… My daughter’s already there at the edge of the nest (at eight!) and she’s gauging wind currents…

    A beautiful post, Kat. And what is more lovely than the words is that the kids KNOW Mama is shielding, protecting, adoring, loving them so very much.

  9. says

    Oh boy, Kat, THAT was a post! Mine are 11 and 14 and I still have to be drug kicking and screaming from the times I want to nose in and prevent heartbreak, pain, and loss. The thing is that they sometimes need these things to grow – I know that from my degree in child development but I’ll be darned if I have much success implementing it personally!!

    In my post, I try to protect my daughter from the dangers of not believing in the power of an alterations lady’s needle and thread. I lose. :-)

  10. says

    OH what beautiful sentiments… I think every mother goes through those thoughts.. those fears. We eventually have to let them go… hoping we gave them every lesson we could to survive.

  11. Dumb mom says

    Don’t worry about a thing money and magic fixes everything. Anyone who watches movies or listens to rap music could tell you that!

  12. says

    Ain’t your post the truth!

    But those scars? I feel like they will be softened by the adults our children become and the love and pride we have for them as they make their way in the world.

  13. says

    Oh Kat! So beautiful but so not what I need to think about so very early in the morning – realizing that my baby is only a year or so from flying away! I know that I will be so very proud of the man he becomes but my heart will be scarred and ache at the loss of having him under my care.

  14. says

    Being unable to protect my baby from the world is why I so desperately want him to remain a baby….a baby who sleeps like an adult though. :-)

    I loved this weeks prompts. I was able to incorporate two and suddenly realizing I could have added a third!!

    Thanks for making Writers Workshop so great!

  15. says

    There really is nothing worse as a mom than seeing your child in pain – whether it’s emotional or physical. It certainly causes you to be stronger than you ever thought you could be.

  16. says

    Such a good post! And I love your pictures, by the way. I don’t ever see snow like that in Georgia.

    I think you hit the nail on the head–we have to build up our children, give them confidence, so that they can handle the hurts that come their way. It’s not so much shielding them but teaching them how to use their own

  17. says

    I know what you mean about becoming a fighter once you had kids. The protectiveness over our children that God instills in us is an incredibly powerful thing.
    Beautiful post…words and pictures!

  18. says

    Oh Kat! The last line….. “They will leave this protective nest and suddenly, the only one left scarred will be me.” is so poignant. I know you’ve shared all that you’ve endured in your life, and I have endured my own version of pains so we just “know” what’s out there. And I am right with you in wanting, so desperately to save my girls from that. We want to protect our children from all that we know is out there in the way of pain. I think the fact that you’re making a conscious decision everyday to give them the skills and confidence they need to endure such challenges will ensure they make it through ok. For the times when they falter or lack the strength, they are so blessed to have you to help carry them through.

    LOVED this post. Beautiful!

  19. says

    I love how you’ve expressed what mothers deal with daily. Your children are so blessed to have a mother who cares so deeply about their well-being.

    My personal fear is: How do I protect Miss A when she graduates from high school and goes to college next year? Letting go will be so hard. I get teary just thinking about it.

  20. says

    What a great take on that. And yes it will leave scars but they heal and seeing them grown and productive members of society? You’ll wear those scars on your heart as badges of honor! Great great post.

  21. says

    I remember my oldest son’s first broken heart. I wanted to punch the girl who did that to my son. I remember my younger son’s first experience with a best friend moving away. We both cried together. And I remember the first time another little girl said very hateful words to my daughter. I wanted to say them back, but knew that would be a poor lesson. So instead I spent time with my daughter, and I hugged her extra hard.

    Sometimes I am overwhelmed with emotion as I think about all of the hurt my children will have to endure in their lifetimes. I want to keep them in the basement and hide them from this mean world.

  22. says

    We will do whatever it takes to keep our kids protected and we’ll use whatever magic we have up our sleeves. We ARE magic!

  23. says

    A beautiful post! I find as my girls get older that it’s harder and harder to ensure they’re happy and protected and scar-free. I feel myself having to let go, hoping that I’ve given them the self-confidence and tools they need to navigate their world. But yes, we moms, will always be scarred – it goes with the territory.

  24. says

    Absolutely beautiful. Such moving words with heart tugging photographs. So true too. I felt the same with that first immunization, but the way you describe it as ‘branding’ made the backs of my eyes tingle with tears. Very moving indeed.

  25. Samantha says

    I love you positive take on being scarred. Your kiddos are very lucky indeed and I love how you illustrated it, too.

  26. Samantha says

    I love you positive take on being scarred. Your kiddos are very lucky indeed and I love how you illustrated it, too.

  27. says

    awwww . . . the power of a mother’s love. It’s great for turning away many hurtful things but alas it doesn’t have the power to prevent scars. But it does have the power of reassurance and healing when hurts do come. You are a good mom.

    • says

      I’m so excited for another baby fabulous! I think the answer is to just keep having babies…then we won’t notice when the oldest are leaving us…we’ll be too focused on the youngest. :) WIN!

  28. says

    It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to catch up on your blog, but I LOVE this post! It’s obvious that you are an awesome mom and that your kids are SO lucky to have you! I’m afraid of someday having children of my own & the fear that comes with not being able to keep them safe at all times!

    • says

      I’m glad you checked back in! And just in time for my big blog design reveal. :)

      It IS scary bringing kids into the equation!! Suddenly you have something to protect and you really have little control over the decisions they make as they get older. Sigh. But they’re worth it.

  29. says

    Your last line is so very true. My two babies are still so young, yet every year that we move further from their infancy is scarring to me. Love is pain sister, love is pain!

  30. says

    What a wonderful mother you are and what a touching post! You’ve defined the very essence of a mother’s strong love and unfailing need to protect her most valuable treasures ! I have found that for every scar my children acquired that I acquired them too, not on my body but in my heart! When you hold your children for the first time, you dread the inevitable hurt and pain that they will eventually have to experience in life! You look into their beautfiul eyes and swear to yourself that you will do the impossible to protect them! After their first skninned knee, you quickly learn that the best defence is just to be there to dry their eyes, hold them tight, and comfort them as only a mother can!

    • says

      This comment made me laugh! I think it’s funny that I can feel so sentimental about my kids and then 10 minutes later be yelling “I SAID BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

      I guess we still need to parent these hoodlums.

  31. says

    LOVE this look. So cool. So awesome. So MamaKat. :)

    Beautiful words… I hope to someday be able to feel the same, hurt the same and be scarred the same way.

  32. says

    I’ve missed the deadline for this week’s, but I hope to get back on track soon. I LOVE the new site look!

    And yes, I know all too well how far we parents will go to protect our little ones :)

  33. says

    Beautiful. I love the imagery that went alongside the words perfect!

    BTW… when I read this this morning, your site looked one way… now it looks NEW!
    Beautiful!

  34. says

    Beautiful! And so true. I too will be scarred when they are gone. But I’ll know I gave them everything they’ll need for their journey.

  35. says

    What a lovely, lovely post and I think a lot of us feel the same way. We’ve been given these precious gifts and it’s an amazing responsibility!

    By the way, is it coincidence that your blog headers have progressed from beer…to wine…and now to liquor? I find it quite comical and I must say, I can relate. :)

  36. says

    This was an incredible post! I saw it earlier today, but I waited to read it until now. I did not want to be distracted or in a rush. I knew this was something that needed my full attention. Thanks for such a wonderful contribution of words and pictures!

  37. says

    I love this post and so feel it. My oldest is 11, a horrible age. This Wednesday she came crying to me because she hates her hair. Her beautiful gorgeous red curly hair that does not look like the other girls. She was so upset that I almost started crying. The memories came rushing back. So I dropped everything and spent the next hour staightening her hair. It doesn’t matter what caused the pain, I just don’t want there to be any pain.

    I love the new look and am kind of addicted to refreshing the screen to see the next picture.

  38. says

    Oh, sweet mother, I have recited these same words. You are precious to protect those little darlings!
    Save this part for later down the road: When they do love and lose, when they face fearful moments, when they have that first HUGE disappointment in which your mind plays head games and you wonder if they will ever smile again, it will be this love that you have covered and smothered them with that gets them to the other side of the pain. And. . . most importantly, those hurts, aches, pains and scars will help mold them to be something beautiful. . . perhaps as beautiful as the mother who helped create them. xoxo

  39. says

    First, love your new layout, second love your post! That was a great way to take that prompt. You’re right about some things though. Knowing that they have unconditional love and raising them with a high level of self esteem will help them navigate the waters.

  40. Varotica says

    Love the new look! Somehow it looks even more professional. And I am amazed how easy it can be to set yourself apart and still look like part of it. There is a huge part of MommyBlogs out there using pink and even if I really do like pink … everybody does pink. And now you are different but still part of it, still using a touch of pink. But … different. Love it.
    I love your background color. It could be blinding bright but the colors with the actual written text is perfect for my eyes … so all in all it is really great. But what I love most is the typo. Looks really good and fits to your site! Checking out the designer behind it :)

    • says

      That’s so true Varotica, I never really realized how much pink there is out there until you pointed it out! When my blog designer showed me the mockup of this page I had to adjust to the shock of color…and then I fell in love with it, partly because it IS so different. She did a great job, thanks!

  41. says

    I’m dreading the day they leave…. Can they just never leave?
    No.
    That would be weird.
    Can we just freeze time then?
    :-(

    I came to check out your new blog design – I love it.

    I may even start writing again just so I can linky up with you. :-)

    • says

      Man, where have you BEEN sister!?! I was beginning to think your dog chewed you up.

      And yes. I would love to freeze these children so they can’t get big and leave us. I have a feeling if they keep growing I might change my mind about the leaving us part.

  42. says

    holy cow, no more baby Kainoa! He can’t grow up so fast bc that means Moose is not far behind him :O

    I love your new design – adorable!

    I was watching Parenthood last night and the grandma told Sarah that she would save herself a lot of heartache if she would just realize that she can’t protect her children. Bullcrap. LOL

  43. says

    My kid, in spite of his lackluster academic performances, his sarcasm, and his bouts of laziness is perfect. There is nothing I would change about him because then he wouldn’t be him. Cheers!!

  44. says

    That was beautiful! The pictures were a nice addition to it. You should save this for your kids to read when they get older. :-)

  45. says

    Beautiful post. You said it all. I remember my newborn baby being taken away from me in the hospital to have her ears tested and despite having had a C section that morning I clung onto the IV pole with one hand and a nurse on the other to shuffle after her, tears streaming down my face feeling angry with myself at being helpless to protect her. I don’t think I’d even gone a couple meters out of the door of my room when my husband came walking back with her sound asleep in his arms after it was all over.

  46. says

    What a powerful post. Thank you so much for sharing that. I worry so much about my kids and I hadn’t really thought about things like the heartbreak of the first friendship lost. I’m so not ready for that!

  47. says

    Hi from Blog Frog! I love your blog! I will be around more often, that’s for sure. Since I don’t have a “scared” post to link here, I just wanted to say that these pictures of the snow are beautiful. We don’t get that (at all!) in southern cali.

    Danae
    Believing Unbeliever

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