My friend has a beautiful chair. It’s antique. A flea market piece that she carefully sanded and painted and reupholstered all on her own. It’s the perfect accent chair to her perfectly beautiful living room. I’ve seen her pause while walking past her chair, beaming with pride at her achievement. A symbol of her capabilities. Her art.
Kainoa? Can I just explain to you how bad you make me look when you insist on climbing this antique marvel of a chair, shaking it from the top in a standing position before defiantly leaping off in a way that only small, wild, undisciplined children do?
Kainoa? Can I explain to you that when you don’t flinch at the sound of my disgusted (albeit forced) gasp at your behavior, but instead pick yourself up and repeat the offense…that your actions are showing everyone you really don’t take me all that seriously? Ever? Do we really need people to know about that?
Let me explain something to you son. These people…they don’t get to see the sweet boy who pulls himself out of bed every night when everything else keeps sleeping. They don’t hear the pitter patter to my room as you sneak your little body next to mine and tuck your head perfectly beneath my chin.
They don’t see your big smile as you work your remote control train and they don’t hear you yell “well done!” when I finish changing it’s batteries.
They don’t have furniture with juice stains and cracker crumbs that they’ve given up on and they don’t find it mildly entertaining to see you swinging yourself from their furniture.
They don’t get us.
They don’t have years of bonding with you to offset your bad attitude.
What they do have is an antique chair. An antique chair they spent hours sanding and painting and reupholstering to fit perfectly in their perfect living room.
They see you, a monkey boy, who doesn’t listen to his gasping mother (albeit forced) and they see a chair that might actually fall apart. Because of you. And they press their lips and they smile tightly…boys will be boys they say…but I can see they don’t like you.
So please. Just don’t.
June Freaking Cleaver says
One time, my daughter was watching The Boy at her apartment. She called, quite upset, “Come and pick up YOUR child. We will be waiting outside for you. He is NEVER to come into my apartment again.”
Bye bye, slime-filled plastic tube (it was called an OozeTube). Bye bye stain-free apartment carpeting.
She didn’t follow thru…he returned to the scene of the crime many times after that.
trash says
‘K not laughing even a little it. Honest.
Gigi says
Boys will be boys…..it’s like they instinctively know where to focus their energies.
Los says
Ah … challenging authority … those were the days … until dad gave me a smack on the butt.
Imogen says
This made me smile wide and nod my head in recognition, I have so many similar stories. I was always reassured by a friend who used to pull out her cheque book at the end of any visit to a friends house with her son and ask what the damages were?
Angel says
As a mom of 3, count em 3 boys I have been there done that wrote the book and started on the Sequel. It eventually turns from furniture to bikes to skateboards then to girls and cars. I don’t care if all your friends do think she is cute, cute is relative. Can she cook?Does she even know what pots and pans are.. cute is not forever you know right… umm yeah sorry I forgot where I was.
Andrea says
Your kids are way too adorable for their own good. How can you ever get mad at a face like that? Climb away!
Jen says
Why don’t they make everything in the world child proof.
Nicole @ Moments that Define Life says
I love your style of writing. I love that you can take a thought about a chair and turn it into a post about how you love your boy – rough and tumble that he is. You really are such a great writer Kat. Just sayin’.
Amy @amyplus1x3 says
We have given up on our furniture too. I might get slip covers. Maybe. Might not be worth it.
Triplezmom says
Great post. Do you mind if I send it to people who wonder why I don’t socialize more?
T says
I once thought I could have a beautifully decorated house… and then I had kids… after 3 boys and the 2 female afterthoughts we have a dining room table, lovingly refinished and splatter with nail polish – and a gorgeous set of couches, one of which MUST keep the throw over the back otherwise its innards are visible…
and then they’ll grow up and leave – and I’ll go shopping, just in time for grandkids to ruin a whole new generation of furniture.
Polish Mama on the Prairie says
That’s sad. That all she has is a chair. A chair. When you have a wonderful child.
If a friend can’t handle a child being over, they shouldn’t invite you over. My little angels are typically fine in most places. I’ve got photos of them in restaurants with table cloths, lit candles and glass wine goblets for them to drink their milk out of.
But there is always the possibility of something going wrong. A broken glass. A spill. A trip. A choke and vomit (gotta love those). Someone deciding to find out what jumping off a fancy chair would be like, for godknowswhat reason they thought of. Because they are kids. They don’t already know what we adults know. They are learning and testing and retesting.
It’s reasons like that why I don’t go over houses that can’t handle having a child there. Granted, I don’t let mine climb on furniture, but that’s my own parenting style and it’s what works for me. Not every child is the same. Not every parent is the same. But all furniture is the same. In the end, a chair is just a place to park your dupa.
Children as so much more awesome than furniture.
Lindsay says
See? Only a mother would have the knowledge of the cuteness to offset the monstrosity of the current behavior. I do that constantly and wonder if people really hate me for my children or love be in spite of them LOL
Jenny says
I second Triplezmom’s comment. When my son was little I would rather stay home. It takes so much energy to discipline your child at other peoples houses especially when there house looks like a showroom.
Allison @ Alli n Son says
Boys will be boys. Seriously there’s little you can do to contain that energy. Maybe your friend should just come to your place. Or hide her chair when you come over.
Erin says
I am good with stuff like that! Tell you what I am gonna do, I will trade you! You can Potty train my untrainable to poop in the Potty 3.5 year old and I will in turn train your baby boy to listen! Deal?
Pastor Sharon says
I used to wonder if my guests thought our son was as adorable as I did. He could be acting like he was on speed and I would think every little thing he did was cute. However, as he has grown up and his friends have spent time in our home over the years. . . . well, I still think he’s cute. Yes. . . that has not changed. And he is 22 years old.
Boys should be boys. Sometimes they just need to climb the chairs and the walls.
kisatrtle says
boys will be boys…ugh. I hate that saying. Been there
Jen says
My prized possession Eames lounge chair has now become a merry go round. Priorities change, I guess.
That picture looks just like a strip mall near my house. Not that there aren’t strip malls with ride-on toys in every city in America, but still…
Booyah's Momma says
Ten years ago, I would have been that friend. I just didn’t get it.
And now my white carpet and stuffy furniture have been replaced by train track area rugs and couches you can hose off. I get it now. But I still miss my white carpet.
Callie Feyen says
I love that you were able to capture the stressfulness and loveliness of raising children. I love that you reminded me that I have the privilege of seeing the whole child and not just the part that decides it’s hysterial when momma gets mad because she’s doing something insane. My two daughters would see your son doing that and join in immediately.
Great post.
Courtney says
I have two boys and I can SO relate. My oldest (4) is crazy at other people’s houses. I much prefer to have others come to our house. But those special moments you described make it all so worthwhile.
casandra says
Love the post. Your writing is great. Never know what to expect but am always pleased.
Kayemgi says
I see that sweet post hiding under all those “don’ts”! Hey, she can always re-re-upholster it, right? Then she’ll be, like, two times as proud. Win-win!
Polish Mama on the Prairie says
Oh, too funny! And too true!
Tracy P. says
My favorite was the time we were invited to a choir party. By all means bring your family. Which in my case included two toddlers. There was a lovely centerpiece on the coffee table. With about a dozen glass cups. That were candleholders. With real burning candles.
What I was thinking was, “Kids, stay out of that room! (The one where the people were gathering.) Why have I failed so at teaching you to obey me?” But now I think, “Why did she hate me?”
This is a great post on so many levels.
Jennifer says
It is so hard and embarrassing when our kids don’t mind us, but it is also hard when our friends don’t see how great they are.
Tabitha Blue says
…. Or when they learn a ‘new’ bad attitude and decide that in public is the best time to show it off, for the first time. Kids teach us all kinds of things! One of which I didn’t realize I needed more of… Humility. Lol
Great post!!
Mama Mary says
I want that chair on the right!