No means yes and yes means no.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but it’s true. There’s been a change in the English language that my kids have been drilling into my head for the past 48 HOURS.
No means yes and yes means no.
You can’t fight it.
“Mom can we have ice cream for dessert?”
No.
“No means yes and yes means no.”
They chant it.
All day long they chant it.
They have brainwashed the youngest version of themselves and at three years old he automatically sings the phrase to me whether they’re around or not.
“CANDY!”
No.
“No means yes and yes means no!”
I tried to combat the phrase with my own little ditty, “no means no and no means no!” or “no means no and yes means yes now go and clean up your mess!”
But it doesn’t work. They think it’s funny. And in an effort to get me to continue my song they increase the frequency of their own.
“No means yes and yes means no!”
I tried to combat the phrase with the old standby of simply ignoring something that’s irritating the shit out of you, but alas. I had not the patience for such things.
“No means yes and yes means no!”
I have determined the only thing I can do is pack it in my bag of tricks to use against them when they’re teenagers. I’ve already grounded them from future engagements with friends. I think now it’s time to store their little ditty for a rainy day.
When future Maile comes to me for money to go shopping I’ll say, “Oh you want some money?” and she’ll say “yes” and I’ll say “no means yes and yes means no…I guess you don’t really want money. SORRY!”
And then she’ll be all “Haha, good one mom. I remember when we used to say that when we were kids. That’s a nice memory…so seriously can I have some cash” and I’ll be all “Haha…fond memory indeed. Wouldn’t you rather stay home?” and she’ll be all “No.” and I’ll be all “no means yes and yes means no!!”
And then she’ll be all “Mom stop okay! Sara is going to be here any minute to pick me up!” and I’ll be all “oh! Is she taking you to the mall?” and she’ll be all “YES!” and I’ll be all “No means yes and yes means no!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!”
And then I’ll start skipping around the living room with a deranged look on my face while shouting it as loud as I can, “NO MEANS YES AND YES MEANS NO! NO MEANS YES AND YES MEANS NO! NO MEANS NO AND YES MEANS NO!”
She will call her brother and sister into the room and they will all be there when I am escorted to the looney hospital in a strait jacket chanting the same damn phrase they started all those years ago.
Maaaan…the laugh will sure be on them then, won’t it?
Or…you know…I could just send them to their rooms or something.
Ilana @ Mommy Shorts says
That is hilarious! I mean— totally painful. I have a plan to deny my child access to my car in order to get her back for the time she gave me a black eye at 4 months old. That will be fifteen years from now. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Jessica says
My 7yo loves opposite day – and every day to her is opposite day. She thinks it is hilarious but it makes me so frustrated because I have enough trouble with keeping things straight on regular days, let alone opposite day. I get her back now. She asks for dessert, I say yes, she goes to get a cookie, I stop her and say – just kidding, it’s opposite day remember? She doesn’t like that too much. And she doesn’t get her cookie.
Mama Kat says
Haha! So true!! Opposite day…oh man the pain I could cause them by playing along with that game! “HEY KIDS!! HOW ABOUT ANOTHER TRIP TO DISNEYLAND!?!?!” Haha!
Rachel M. says
OMG My head hurts just reading this.
Mama Kat says
Good.
Now you know how I feel.
misty says
I am with Rachel. Except my head hurt anyway. :) At any rate- braver woman than I. ;)
Jen says
I can just see the head lines now…. “Local Mother Loses it in Front of Children While Chanting”
You will become a local legend.
Mama Kat says
They’ll be like, “the clues were all there, was she reaching out on her blog?”.
Diane says
I feel your pain. I feel your pain.
Evonne says
My son says this ALL.THE.TIME!!!! It drives me absolutely crazy! You might have some company on your way to the loony bin when I start using that dreaded phrase on them.
An Authentic Life says
Is it helpful if I offer, they do grow out of it? {Then wait what comes out of their mouths when they are 16 and you ask THEM for a favor. Just sayin…!!}
KT
Miri says
Hysterical. My sincerest sympathies. I’m glad my kids have not yet discovered such delightful torture devices.
But wait a sec, I thought you already were losin it?
Kimi says
Oh my hilarious! Still giggling. That’ll teach them for sure. And remember revenge is a dish best served cold, right?
Kristi {at} Live and Love Out Loud says
Surviving this whole chant thing is sure to earn you a privileged spot in heaven. Maybe even sainthood. Heck, you’ve got my vote. Just don’t go licking my face or anything. ;)
Tori says
Haha! Taking this moment to appreciate that my toddler only knows how to say “dog”.
Erin says
This just made my headache worse!
Hernania says
that there is nothing much they can do and she has to come out of the coma on her own. By the grace of god so far her cdioitnon is stable and that gives hope. So please do remember her and her family in your prayers. She is right now at the Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville, Tennesse.
Jennifer says
I am pretty sure it is the mission of every single child in this world to see exactly how far they can come to the edge of literally mentally destroying their parents! I really LOVE your secret plan of revenge…. Oh the paybacks will be nothing more than glorious! I can hear your evil laugh in your post…. I was quietly giggling an evil laugh of revenge right alongside you.
Paulina J! says
Why am I so frustrated right now?!?!? If I were you, I would get revenge NOW! I mean not like evil revenge, but something like what Jessica said above.
MK: “Do you guys want cookies?”
Kids: “Yes”
MK: “NO MEANS YES AND YES MEANS NO! Bwahahahahah!!!” (Along with skipping. Add deranged look if you want.
Why wait for the future?
Jennifer says
Mine keeps asking me if I wish there was a “yes” day. I respond, “Oh yeah. Baby Girl please go clean your room. Baby Girl please be quite. Baby Girl please unload the dishwasher. Baby Girl please play nicely with your brother without aggravating him.” Then I get, “Mom do you wish there was a no day?”
Jenny says
LOL I remember when my son did that when he was little. What really used to drive me insane is when he would repeat everything I said and when I would tell him to stop he would just keep repeating me telling him to stop… I would just have to walk away and lock myself in the bathroom til he gave up on his little game to make mommy crazy ;)
Lindsey van Niekerk says
LOL! I bet this rant post made you feel better…well a little maybe…just sayin’! I could so picture future you with future them….and I couldn’t stop grinning! Good Times!
LindaH says
Hahahahahahahahaha! Thank you for that laugh!
I SO wish I could use this with my 17 year old.
Erin says
Oh my. I feel so sorry for you. This would drive me Past the point of insanity, so I am impressed that you are still with us!
stef says
Sending them to their rooms isn’t as fun. That and opposite day make me Crazy! Sigh.
BalancingMama (Julie) says
I am laughing at your torture right now. Which means karma will surely bite me in the butt a few years from now.
Bruna says
You are so funny. My kids chant that same phrase and it drives me nuts. Mine want to have backwards day which is really opposite day. Same thing. Your kids sound so fun:)
Loukia says
Sigh. I hear ya. I don’t even bother saying no anymore. I just give in to whatever they want… it’s easier that way. ;)
Shell says
My baby monsters do the same thing. They say “It’s Opposite day!” if I tell them something they don’t want to hear. If I try and play along they say “It’s not opposite day anymore!” It gets so confusing the youngest says “STOP. I can’t follow.”
Kristi ~ Artsea says
LMBO! Seriously, this is funny stuff, so glad I found this site! Love the wit & the ideas for posting! I’m in!
Nicole @ Moments that Define Life says
Your posts never fail to make me laugh…much needed on less than stellar days. :-) Have a great weekend!