Dear Ellen Letter #19: Gumbo And Faith Forever

April 19, 2011 · 24 comments

Post image for Dear Ellen Letter #19: Gumbo And Faith Forever

It’s hard isn’t it?

Long distance relationships are not for the weak of heart. The lapse between each letter that I write to you is growing. Life happens. I get distracted and before I even realize what is happening it’s been three months since I’ve written.

Part of the challenge for me is accepting the fact that you’ve never actually written back and choosing to love you through it. Journey sang it once and I find it’s worth repeating, “And loving a music man/Ain’t always what it’s supposed to be/Oh Girl/You stand by me/I’m forever yours/Faithfully.”

I’m not exactly sure what the “music man” part means…and since you’re not writing me back I know that you’re not necessarily standing “by” me, but that part about being forever yours is what I really relate to. Faithfully yours. But only in a platonic way of course. Because I’m not a lesbian anymore. Journey has a way of really capturing how I feel sometimes.

Speaking of jazz music, I want you to know I visited New Orleans for the first time in my life this weekend. It was amazing. My bus tour guide, Henry, showed me all of historical landmarks and I was floored when I actually got to see what Katrina had done to that city. It really is different seeing the levy and the barges and the homes in person. We drove past what Henry called the “Brad Pitt” homes which are basically indestructible homes designed by Brad’s team as a way to help rebuild. I love that he’s giving back.

Brad Pitt Home

As Henry spoke I was waiting for the chance to chime in and ask him the question I knew was on everyone’s mind which was, “where did Ellen Degeneres grow up?” I watched your True Hollywood Story Ellen, I knew your home had to be nearby. Henry corrected me however, and said you actually lived in Gretna…not New Orleans.

I feel betrayed by my memory, but I wish Henry had given me a little more information. He knew SO much about the history of New Orleans and of the celebrities everyone wanted to know about…I thought for sure he could pin point some of your favorite spots…so that I could go to them…and eat gumbo…and think about how in the world I was going to get back to my hotel because I’d pretty much be lost without Henry.

New Orleans

What I’m trying to say Ellen, is that if you ever decide to follow in Brad Pitt’s charitable footsteps and help rebuild New Orleans…I’d like to sign up to be on the list of the new house recipients. I know I don’t technically have any “ties” to New Orleans, but I think just really really enjoying the city should put me on the “Must Have A House List”. Preferably in the Garden District if you can swing it.

And Ellen, not to continue pressuring you to bring me on the show or anything, we both know I’d like to fill it with mom bloggers…but when we make this happen I’d also really like to bring Henry along for moral support. He had a pretty phenomenal story and I just wouldn’t feel right visiting you without him. Just me. You. An audience of mom bloggers. My Mom and sisters and Facebook friends. And Henry. That’s all I’m asking.

It’s a lot. I know. Rest assured the mom bloggers and my Mom and friends and Henry would settle for simply watching your show on TV from my New Orleans home in the Garden District. It might be too much for you to fly us all to LA for the taping and I want you to know we’re extremely flexible.

Until then Ellen, I’ll be on this highway run…into the midnight sun. The wheels go round and round…you’re on my mind.

Gumbo and Faith Forever



A complete list of the previous 18 letters to Ellen can be found here.


Mama Kat Loves You When You Love Her


trash April 19, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Oh dear. I feel the cooling of your ardour. But then this is what happens over time in relationships, the passion lightens. On the upside though is that you settle into a deeper knowledge of each other, you know, if she were ever to write back to you.

Faycin A Croud April 19, 2011 at 11:57 pm

On a lighter note, I think those Brad Pitt houses are pretty cool! He could come design one for me. Being in Colorado I probably don’t really need one, but he could do it anyway.

Jen April 20, 2011 at 4:37 am

It sounds like Henry might have known more than he was letting on. I bet he knew Ellen and was keeping her all to his self.

Poop head!

Alexandra April 20, 2011 at 6:26 am

You know me, I am on this crusade to get you on Ellen, too.

Where your letters go, go I .

We WILL get you on this show.

Off to tweet, aka harass, Miss Ellen Degeneres.

KIr April 20, 2011 at 7:33 am

oh how I adore you, this had me giggling. How could ELLEN not love you.

I’ve never been to NOLA, I really want to get there. :)

Paulina J! April 20, 2011 at 7:48 am

Ellen MUST have you on the show!! Maybe by the 20th or 25th letter at the latest.
Do you know I’ve been within 20 mins of NOLA, but never went?!? I know, I should be “whipped with a switch” (did you know that’s a Southern expression).

Theresa April 20, 2011 at 9:39 am

Ellen has never written back to you? Doesn’t she know who you are? I feel a Twitter stalking coming on….

cassie April 20, 2011 at 9:46 am

What!? She hasn’t written back yet? Some interns head is gonna roll when she finds out about this.

Christine King April 20, 2011 at 12:30 pm

I betcha she is staying awake nigths wondering which of your wishes she will fulfill first!

Lizgizzy April 20, 2011 at 1:51 pm

New Orleans is a wonderful city- old, and broke down in many ways, smelly yes, but the history is magical. Ellen should have grown up in New Orleans.

misty April 20, 2011 at 2:48 pm

you are so cute… New Orleans is incredible!

Kristin April 20, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Have you tweeted the shiznit out of Miss Ellen? I feel like she would love you if she got to know you! : )

Lisa April 20, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Really if you don’t get on Ellens how soon, we may have to protest or something? Flood her studio with your letters?

The Mayor April 20, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Ellen+ Kat + audience of bloggers= too much wit to contain in one building. Ellen would have to be on top of her game for that event.

Carri April 20, 2011 at 4:57 pm

And Ellen? You wouldn’t even have to fly me. I’m only 45 minutes away without traffic and 572 hours with.

Julie April 20, 2011 at 5:15 pm

I’m totally with some of these other girls here! Let’s start a twitter stalking/protest to get Kat on Ellen! If there’s enough of us, maybe they’ll see the undying love that is shown here regularly… er, semi-regularly! :)

dysfunctional mom April 20, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I Faithfully believe that one day, you’ll be on Ellen’s show.
Can you dance like Ellen? Maybe that could be your ‘in’.

kisatrtle April 20, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Even if Ellen isn’t there for you I always will be. In a strictly platonic way as I’m not a lesbian anymore either.

Booyah's Momma April 20, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Wait… is Ellen supposed to be the Steve Perry equivalent, or Pineda? Maybe she’s just not replying because she’s protesting the lead singer ambiguity? (Although I’m not sure how that applies to the other 18 letters).

Don’t stop believing! Even if she doesn’t respond, these letters are dang funny.

Jennifer April 21, 2011 at 6:04 am

I just can’t believe with quality material like this Ellen hasn’t written you back. It makes me shed a little tear.

alisha April 21, 2011 at 10:07 am

how, in a world that includes things like gumbo, faith, and journey for god’s sake, could she decline this request??? as a lesbian, i feel i speak for all of us when i say “ellen, sister, make the blog show happen!”.

shafeena April 21, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Haha !!! ellen is so wrong to NOT write back to you :)

Michelle April 24, 2011 at 11:43 pm

I’m sure I’ve asked you this before, and I’m sure I’ll ask you again because I have five kids at home still and you know that breastfeeding uses all my brain cells.

Have you emailed these or tweeted these or whatever one does to try to get on the Ellen show these? Hmm????

Laurie Fessler January 27, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I think I MIGHT have to write a letter to Ellen (who I love dearly as well) on your behalf. I mean, let’s be real, we need strength in numbers. (and of course you could bring me with you as well as Henry, if you wanted to-Hint Hint). I really am shocked that Ellen hasn’t responded YET but I’m sure she will. Good things happen to people who bug her again and again. Here’s hoping! Laurie F.

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