Ten Celebrity DON’T(S)
I consider myself an expert on celebrities and their lives…based solely on the fact that I watch too much TV. This is a list of ten celebrity don’t(s) for celebrities to not read…because they’re too busy being rich to care about what I have to say.
1. Avoid weekends with multiple hookers.
2. Do not attack the paparazzi with an umbrella and shaved head.
3. Do not go to 20/20 begging your celeb daughter to forgive you for being a jack ass.
4. Do not blame the destruction of your family on your daughter’s successful career.
5. When stealing handbags and jewelry try to make eye contact with the surveillance cameras and mouth the words “I
didn’t do it” for dramatic effect.
6. When creating your sex tape consider sleeping with people we actually want to see naked.
7. When preparing for your mug shot after driving drunk…AGAIN…please smile, we’ll be looking at those pictures for a LONG time.
8. Don’t bother dating anyone exclusively…it won’t last. At best you MIGHT get a Taylor Swift song out of the deal if you date her, but I don’t recommend a relationship with anyone else.
9. Don’t think you’re a celebrity when your claim to fame is a reality TV show. You’re not a celebrity…people just like to watch you embarrass yourself.
10. Don’t ignore your fans…especially when they’ve been writing you letters confessing they’re undying love and affection and faith for three years now.
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Now it’s your turn!
Choose a prompt, post it on your blog, and come back to add your name to the link list below. Be sure to sign up with the actual post URL and not just your basic blog URL (click on the title of your post for that URL). For good comment karma try to comment on the three blogs above your name!!
The Prompts:
1.) Something students these days should know.
2.) If my Mom were a blogger.
3.) Describe a phone call you won’t forget.
4.) A list of 10 Celebrity DON’TS
5.) Write a poem about your favorite place to be.
{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }
a great list, and absolutely with #6 :) that way it’s a win/win! LOL
Ohhh #10…spot on!
Perfect List!
Hmmm….I think the last one might be directed at a certain person that you have a major crush on.
Ha! These are fabulous. I can’t decide which was my favorite. Both 6 and 9 made me snort.
Love #5 and 6. LOL! Thanks for the smile :)
When oh when will Ellen and/or “her people” come to their senses?!
I’m so proud that I know almost every person you’re referring to here. I used to live under a rock, but I crawled out and got pretty smart!
I love #6!
#6 and #9 – spot on!
Hilarious! Love #6. If people would actually listen to #9, I’d be a lot less annoyed.
I enjoyed this! I would have loved doing this prompt, but random.org thought otherwise, it IS National Poetry Month, and there was a poetry prompt after all. You know those poetry prompts attract me like a Real Housewife within range of a Botox clinic.
And on #10 …. pass the gumbo. :-)
I’d like to say, ‘Great List!’ and I will, but, honestly, I don’t know why. I guess I’m one of those people who live under a rock. (Okay, I did get two of your references and the last one about Ellen) :)
I have two questions: Why do they sleep with the losers? and
How could Ellen not give you a regular spot on her show? You are amazing and I love the song… Awesome list!
Great celebrity advice! Love numbers 8 & 9 especially!
I just heard from Ellen. She says to tell you that she’s been receiving your letters, and appreciates your interest. She only communicates with her fans via her blog. However, there’s a problem with her RSS feed and she can’t connect with you. She’s planning on having a party for all her fans and you will be the first one on her invitation list. She says to be patient, have a martini or two, and when she gets things sorted out, you’ll be hearing from her.
LOVE #6 – fantastic ;) Although I think it’s a rule that should also be followed through into the professional sex tape industry too. I’m not sayin’ I’m a connoisseur or anything, but GAWD, some of those guys are just nasty!
Blaming the daughter for the destruction of the family seems only fair. Well, in some instances. If half the planet can blame that same daughter on the destruction of their own daughter’s morals and wardrobe, why can’t Pop! Everybody needs SOMEONE to sue these days. Some are running out of options and must get creative! LOL
You would think Ellen would get the hint by now, wouldn’t you?
Ohhh #6 tickled my funny bone! (for that matter.. all of them did!).
And maybe it’s time that all your fans start writing to Ellen begging her to get you on her show. The campaign to get MamaKat on the Ellen Degeneres Show!
Ok, Mama Kat, fess up. Who have you been writing love letters to for three years now?! ;-) Seriously, my fave it #9. I hate reality TV. If I wanted to watch people embarrass themselves in public, I’d get a job and laugh at my quirk coworkers. Or I’d go to Walmart. Incognito (read: in pajamas.)
#6 is my absolute favorite!!
I must say, I do enjoy a lovely mugshot- posed, of course!
Personally, I like number six.
Ugly naked people I do not want to see! Beautiful naked people? Definitely!! :)
I totally agree with #6! LOL! :-)
Hee Hee! I think you need to submit these to the Screen Actors Guild so they can implement them as rules to live by! ;-)
You’re correctamundo…”reality” really isn’t, is it?
Loving the prompts this week. I’m really enjoying reading all the replies, especially the 10 celebrity don’ts.
What a great list!! i actually laughed out loud at a couple of them! Always hilarious!!
This is awesome. :-) #6 just about put diet dr pepper out my nose. Thanks for the laugh this morning!
LOL I knew this would be a great list!! I especially like the one about reality TV stars. And the last one…that just goes without saying!
oh you should be on EXTRA, you could do this list every night for them. :) LOL
Love your list. Come on, Ellen, right?!
Great list! I know Ellen is going to cave very soon.
Hilarious. Avoid hookers.
I think this list needs to be extended LOL
This is my first time participating in the writer’s workshop! I’m excited!
You know celebrities so well because, well aren’t you one?
That’s hilarious and my fav is number five!
#6 is my favorite!
My fav is #5 … maybe Lindsay should check out your list!!
#6 cracked me up!
LOVE this list! Especially the last one. : )
Hear! Hear! Loved your list!
Great list! I think I know each and every celeb that the lines correspond with! : ) Too funny! And seriously, Ellen, wake up already!
I’m sorta freaking out cause I apparently USED TO know all the celebrity gossip. Now I have no idea who #3 and #4 are about. Oh no, I’m losing my grip on celebreality. It will take me at least an hour or two to get it back ;-)
oh my goodness! You list is freaking HI-LAR-I-OUS!!!
HAHAHAHHAHAHA…..OH How I love this list… Let me count the ways…. (reverting back to third grade) “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it!” Well, yes… I think I might… I will email you our SAVE the DATE… I think your list and I will be very happy together… Hmmm, Maybe Ellen will officiate for me?
#6 – Hilarious! I recently came across the now dated Tommy Lee Jones and Pamela Anderson tape that someone gave me as a joke years ago. Yuck. I really don’t need to see either of those 2 naked. Tommy lee Jones driving a boat with his schlong? Gross.
And of course you sent this list to Ellen, right? That woman doesn’t know what she’s missing.
LOL!!! I love #6
Seriously – does Ellen live under a rock? How is she not picking up on all these clues. ;)
#10 was my favorite.
I live for the #9 idiots. They make me feel better about myself.
Honestly, your list is so good! I feel like they need to make this mandatory reading to all new actors : )
perfect list!
Hi there,
I have a question about your site, would you mind emailing me back @ kthomas@primroseschools.com?
Thanks,
Kathleen
Haha! Ellen should just give up the ghost and invite you on the show!
LoL!!! This is awesome! Man your frisky this week! I love it, too funny!!!!!